Others here over 40?

ZenRising · Mar 23, 2024

Hi there gents,

So are there many others here who are the wrong side of 40? I'm 49 and came out of a LTR a couple of years ago, and while I’ve done some dating since (so it hasn’t been total famine), I haven’t really committed to making regular approaches… I want that to change though - I’ve been neglecting this side of my life for too long.. the biggest self-limiting belief I am dealing with as I start approaching and meeting women again is the voice in my head saying ‘you’re too old’….

Anyone else struggled with this? Any tips on getting past it? I reckon I just have to get into consistent action… I know that ‘contrary experience’ is what ultimately changes problematic beliefs…

Thanks,
Lucas

Higher · Mar 23, 2024

ZenRising said:
I reckon I just have to get into consistent action

Def, but id also aim at just having casual convos.

Im 41 and many of the girls i approach are in their 20s. I almost always get that "voice in my head" -- and i sorta trained myself to go thru it by setting myself to just have a casual convo.

If i have no agenda, i can feel free to just talk to another human being. Ofc ill flirt a bit too, and if she seems receptive, ill then show intent with a light compliment.

gameboy · Mar 23, 2024

I'm here! Same age as you. I'm also struggling with the "Imagining I'm too old/she's too young"-thing.

I recently asked a question about it in the Beginner board, and the consenus seems to be to just talk tot he girl anyway and at some point ask her her age.

I mean some girls are attracted to older men, right? And I'm attracted to pretty girls. Might as well find out which ones like me back! (Easier said than done, I know. But I will get there eventually.)

Casanova Newhouse · Mar 23, 2024

I'm in my early 60s here. Been single for a year-and-a-half and having a good time. Until recently, however. I met a beautiful, funny and smart woman and everything seemed to be lining up for a relationship when she dumped me. Devastated. You can read about it in my "Limerance Journal."

That brought me to this place. I re-discovered this site and am digesting material regularly.

It's been a learning journey -- age doesn't seem to be much of a factor. Girls half my age and younger seem to enjoy the attention, wherever it comes from. I think there's a crisis of masculinity at present in our (American) culture and a strong, masculine presence is such a novelty for many young women that they can't help but be attracted. Don't underestimate the number of young women with daddy issues.

Skills · Mar 23, 2024

I am 49

Karea Ricardus D. · Mar 24, 2024

I'm 43.

What counts as old anyway?

So guys, I was reading the article of Chase about age and older guys. So what counts as old anyway? Ironically as I have progressed through the years I get much more interest than ever. I seem to have gotten rid of covid rust, which really had killed my vibe and gave me feelings of scarcity and...

www.skilledseducer.com

Sinn (mentioned in this post) says a 25 year gaps for casual sex is what he's seen in his clients, 20 year gap for relationships, no issue.

I feel those limiting beliefs creeping up sometimes, I tend to target 23 year olds and above now. My last GF was 27.

ZenRising · Mar 24, 2024

Hi there gents! Thanks for the responses.. this is great to hear... I know this is the biggest self-limiting belief that I have to overcome, and reading you feedback helps a lot..

been single for a year-and-a-half and having a good time. Until recently, however. I met a beautiful, funny and smart woman and everything seemed to be lining up for a relationship when she dumped me. Devastated. You can read about it in my "Limerance Journal."

Thanks for this @Casanova Newhouse ... exactly the same thing happened to me a few months back... met a really exceptional smart, beautiful, funny woman and got heavily invested, and then she pulled the plug... it really knocked me down hard... I'm gonna check out your journal...

ZenRising · Mar 24, 2024

gameboy said:
I'm here! Same age as you. I'm also struggling with the "Imagining I'm too old/she's too young"-thing.

I recently asked a question about it in the Beginner board, and the consenus seems to be to just talk tot he girl anyway and at some point ask her her age.

I mean some girls are attracted to older men, right? And I'm attracted to pretty girls. Might as well find out which ones like me back! (Easier said than done, I know. But I will get there eventually.)

Great to read this @gameboy ... I'm in exactly the same situation... Daygame is arguably the most difficult way to approach women, but I'm not much inclined to start hanging around in nightclubs and bars these days, so I think daygame is going to be key for me too...

Mikedee · Tuesday at 12:42 AM

gameboy said:
I'm here! Same age as you. I'm also struggling with the "Imagining I'm too old/she's too young"-thing.

I recently asked a question about it in the Beginner board, and the consenus seems to be to just talk tot he girl anyway and at some point ask her her age.

I mean some girls are attracted to older men, right? And I'm attracted to pretty girls. Might as well find out which ones like me back! (Easier said than done, I know. But I will get there eventually.)

How has your journey been since this post? Has your game improved?

gameboy · Tuesday at 10:33 PM

Mikedee said:
How has your journey been since this post? Has your game improved?

Oh, definitely! I can approach much more easily now. Not all the time, sometimes AA does strike, but much more than a year ago. And before I started learning day game, I mostly couldn't approach *at all* except maybe once in a blue moon.

As for hooking, that's still very hit and miss. With women around my age, it's quite common. With the younger ones, it's harder..

Also, I have this weird thing sometimes that I will see an AI or IOI from a girl, and just freeze and not be able to approach. Especially if I'm not warmed up. Happened to me the other day. Quite annoying.

So now I'm trying to always be warmed up. Easier said than done... but it's a fun journey, and totally worth it!

Mikedee · Tuesday at 11:48 PM

gameboy said:
Oh, definitely! I can approach much more easily now. Not all the time, sometimes AA does strike, but much more than a year ago. And 1.5 years ago I mostly couldn't approach *at all* except maybe once in a blue moon.

As for hooking, that's still very hit and miss. With women around my age, it's quite common. With the younger ones, it's harder..

Also, I have this weird thing sometimes that I will see an AI or IOI from a girl, and just freeze and not be able to approach. Especially if I'm not warmed up. Happened to me the other day. Quite annoying.

So now I'm trying to always be warmed up. Easier said than done... but it's a fun journey, and totally worth it

Thanks for sharing your insights, and I’m glad to hear you’re doing better. I can relate to freezing up when you’re not warmed up, probably from taking time off, right? I’ve realized there’s no point in taking breaks either. What’s helped me is practicing gratitude for life and everything around me. In 10 years, things won’t be the same, so it’s all about going all out and living life to the fullest—no more time off, just time to make it happen. Where do you usually game? I’ve noticed younger girls can be hit or miss for me. I have no issue getting numbers however I have huge issues on converting into successful lays.

gameboy · 2025-01-29T19:14:53+0000

Mikedee said:
I can relate to freezing up when you’re not warmed up, probably from taking time off, right?

"Not warmed up" as in, not having done any approaches all day.

Mikedee said:
Where do you usually game?

Mainly on the beach, but also in the street or in a cafe if the opportunity presents itself.

Mikedee said:
I have no issue getting numbers however I have huge issues on converting into successful lays.

Yeah, I've gotten a few numbers but tbh it felt more like the girl gave them to me out of politeness. So that's my sticking point currently... That, and making sure to act upon IOIs when I get them. I actually made a rule for myself "IOI -> say hi".

OldGuy · 2025-01-30T00:35:39+0000

My view on age is she has to be legally adult. The states I am in have an age of consent lower than the age of adulthood, but men are age have gotten charged with corrupting a minor (the law assumes all adults are corrupted.)

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Others here over 40?

ZenRising

Tool-Bearing Hominid

Higher

Tool-Bearing Hominid

gameboy

Tool-Bearing Hominid

Casanova Newhouse

Tool-Bearing Hominid

Skills

Tribal Elder

Karea Ricardus D.

Tribal Elder

What counts as old anyway?

ZenRising

Tool-Bearing Hominid

ZenRising

Tool-Bearing Hominid

Mikedee

Rookie

gameboy

Tool-Bearing Hominid

Mikedee

Rookie

gameboy

Tool-Bearing Hominid

OldGuy

Tool-Bearing Hominid