FR ☀️ Just technically hot

[Curwen]

I went on a date to a quiet bar. It was a girl I approached spontaneously by cycling up on the sidewalk. She was dressed entirely casually with glasses then, but I could tell she was attractive. I don’t care how they dress or put on their makeup. What I’m interested in is how a girl looks after you take off all her clothes and hose off all the extra stuff she has applied on herself.

This is something I constantly debated with my single friends back in the day when we did night game. I was the one usually doing the heavy lifting in the field back then, so I sometimes told my friends… that’s because you guys only look at them, I’m the one who has to fuck them I think Chase has written a few articles on this difference in what guys focus on.

Anyway, this girl came mega dolled up. I must say, she was exceptionally attractive, in the technical sense. She had even put on some things I had hinted at that I like. I was a little late, she wasn’t there yet. I went in, got a beer and took the optimal seat, in the corner of a L-shaped couch. Some older guy with a very red face and a beer sat there when I came in, but he moved soon. He must have sensed my seducer-aura and respectfully made room.

She showed up after five minutes. She didn’t get a drink, just sat down pretty far away. I didn’t mind, I felt on point. She kept looking over at the bar. I think she expected me to buy something for her. I would have, if we had arrived at the same time. Maybe I could have offered that? Would it be too much to get up, walk to the bar, have her order, pay, then walk back? Hard to say. She mentioned later that she likes men to be gentlemen, which is why she has only dated foreign guys.

She also kept steering the teasing and banter to my financial status. It was light, but there might have been something behind it. I just agreed and amplified, highlighting how I DON’T have a sailing boat or any of that stuff.

I told some anecdotes about my family and how great out relationships are. She seemed to have tight relations with her family too, but her answers stayed bland and casual. No judgement, just an observation.

Long story short… she likes cities, clubs, chilling at the beach. I like backpacking, weird experiences and meditation. She just sat there and seemed to have a frame of evaluating me. I didn’t buy in. I kept deep diving her. I teased her here and there. I even sexualized a little bit. Everything seemed to just bounce off her. The only thing that “worked” was when I asked to see her nails and later a tattoo on her ankle. She offered up her hand and leg willingly. Maybe aggressive physical escalation could have affected her favorably? I certainly thought about it, but I’m rusty as hell and couldn’t figure out how to do it.

Was she expecting me to get up, buy a drink for her, and start touching her? Maybe! But I’m just learning to manage myself, remember to deep dive, fix logistics… you will have to wait, woman!

The reason I’m excited is that I kept super calm. I kept my frame or whatever, didn’t bounce through any hoops. I HAD FUN playing with the situation. Of course, it went nowhere… but I was super on point. We just were a total personality mismatch. Perhaps a more seasoned veteran could have made something out of this, but at the point where I am in all this, I was very impressed with myself.

When my beer was finished, she just said she will go now. I just said ok, and calmly started to gather my stuff. She seemed to bear some burden of awkwardness as she kind of moved back and forth and asked me am I also leaving, which way am I going... this wasn’t an invitation for anything, just her trying to manage the situation. Not that it’s a competition. I let her go gracefully. But I am happy that tonight, nothing seemed to affect me.

 

[Stark]

Good work on the approach.

I usually try to get 1-2 warmup approaches out of the way as soon I’m on the street where I plan to hit on girls.

This turns off the logical brain & I can get into a sexual state & demand compliance which helps in sexual framing.

I pick some average or older women for this so no burning potential sets.

You did quite well overall, your game will see a huge boost when you demand compliance at all stages(especially the texts leading upto the date)

She dressed sexy, and was expecting you to go making the move from the get go (sitting far) . With these kind of women I go for broke and start kino asap lest her put me into ‘Maybe’ zone rather than sex zone.

Some women remain difficult despite what you do.

Chalk this one for experience and go hit the streets soldier

 

[Higher]

Good shot with this girl man, from approaching her to getting her out.

Maybe aggressive physical escalation could have affected her favorably? I certainly thought about it, but I’m rusty as hell and couldn’t figure out how to do it.

What im having fun playing with recently is escalating the vibe: sitting closer to her, talking less, touching her and maintaining eye contact, then trying to create a moment in which we hold and caress each others hands. Thats one good way to create sexual tension. Read up 60yocs Fearless Relentless Escalation - its gonna guide u thru this process - or just look for "sexual tension" on this forum / the blog.

I also keep talking to a minimum and only talk about her (deep-diving) and SOTs (Seduction-Oriented Topics) in order to understand her on various levels, build rapport and comfort, and set a spontaneous and adventurous frame.

Whats the followup with this girl tho? Is it done or is she responsive over text?

 

[Curwen]

She dressed sexy, and was expecting you to go making the move from the get go (sitting far) . With these kind of women I go for broke and start kino asap lest her put me into ‘Maybe’ zone rather than sex zone.

Yep you may be right. I feel a barrier there, but at the same time, I know it's my job to cross that barrier. Thinking back on this, I can now see HOW I would do it! If a similar situation comes up on a future date, I will remember this

Whats the followup with this girl tho? Is it done or is she responsive over text?

Yes, I'll have to read that 60yoc thing, I've seen it mentioned all around the forum.

No followup, I haven't contacted her. I didn't rise to the occasion on the date. In this case my intuition tells me the right way is to learn from this and let it go.

Thank you both for your input, it's much appreciated. I feel like I'm learning a TON of stuff every time I do something, report it here and get some feedback.

 

[Chase]

@Curwen,

Sounds like solid progress for where you're at.

I'll just add a few other tips in:

• If you're not comfortable telling girls to move closer, don't pick seats where it's possible for them to sit farther away. e.g., in a bar you can sit on a bar stool in a farther part of the bar; the natural thing is for her to take the bar stool next to you, which puts you near at hand. You can always move to a booth later once the vibe is good and touch is established.
  
  
• Another reason not to pick a table at place that doesn't have servers is the awkwardness of if she sits and doesn't order anything... who's gonna be the one who gets up to get her something? If she arrives and doesn't immediately order you can just tell her, "What do you want? First round's on me." Then if she doesn't offer to get a second round, you just don't get second rounds.
  
  
• Foreigner hunter chicks... are you an expat or a local? They are girls with game who are specifically hunting for guys who will offer them a certain experience. In third world countries they look for no-game guys or guys running provider game. In first world countries they look for sexy lover types (e.g., the Latin lover). You either must be able to match what they are looking for or know how to override it. e.g., if they like the sexy lover type, you need to dial up your lover vibes and be a little over-the-top sexy. If they are looking for provider types the best call is just using lots of physical game and teasing to see if you can break through that outer shell & help them realize you are not going to be a provider but you might be fun.

Stay at it!

Chase

 

[Curwen]

Thanks for taking the time Chase!

If you're not comfortable telling girls to move closer, don't pick seats where it's possible for them to sit farther away. e.g., in a bar you can sit on a bar stool in a farther part of the bar; the natural thing is for her to take the bar stool next to you, which puts you near at hand. You can always move to a booth later once the vibe is good and touch is established.

Yes, excellent. This bar is where I invite most my dates. It has bar stools and I remember having one date sitting in the bar stools years ago. It went well. There’s also a cool lookout spot on the way to my place. I do 1) bar > 2) lookout spot > 3) my place, OR even 1) lookout spot/bar > 2) my place. I did this all the time in my previous life (living in the same area).

I actually have a blind date tonight, same place. I’ll try the bar stools if they are free!

Foreigner hunter chicks... are you an expat or a local? They are girls with game who are specifically hunting for guys who will offer them a certain experience. In third world countries they look for no-game guys or guys running provider game. In first world countries they look for sexy lover types (e.g., the Latin lover). You either must be able to match what they are looking for or know how to override it. e.g., if they like the sexy lover type, you need to dial up your lover vibes and be a little over-the-top sexy. If they are looking for provider types the best call is just using lots of physical game and teasing to see if you can break through that outer shell & help them realize you are not going to be a provider but you might be fun.

I am local. The girl in the report is from a central Asian country, but has lived here since she was 4 yo, speaks fluent local language. When I read your advice here I feel like maybe that’s too much for me to concentrate on right now. Then again, I’m exploring being more lover/sexy ANYWAY, so Good to know, you never know what you run into when you’re actually doing game.

I think I KNOW what type of guy she was looking for. The kind who dresses in an urban, masculine way, has a haircut that must be arranged with gel, has a tan, uses some kind of perfume probably, has some kind of car you can show off… I don’t know what to call the type, and I don’t judge anyone, but that’s my polar opposite. She came out because my approach was so awesome.

 

[Chase]

@Curwen,

I think I KNOW what type of guy she was looking for. The kind who dresses in an urban, masculine way, has a haircut that must be arranged with gel, has a tan, uses some kind of perfume probably, has some kind of car you can show off… I don’t know what to call the type, and I don’t judge anyone, but that’s my polar opposite. She came out because my approach was so awesome.

I call that type "the douchebag look" or sometimes "the trust fund frat bro look"

I used to hate guys who dressed that way, and was really annoyed at girls who went for that look ignoring me to run to those guys... then I experimented with going out looking like it (except for the tan... I'd have to spray that on) and discovered suddenly it was like shooting fish in a barrel with the chicks that go for that look.

It really is a "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em" scenario with chicks who have a strong preference for a specific archetype/look.

(I have buddies who always wear this look. It's especially useful for foreign non-white guys in the States... good way of compensating for exoticness by adopting a look the girl views as prototypically local and sexy)

Chase