FR 1st Time Solo Night Gaming

[FunGuy]

What it do babyyyyy!!! I will start a journal soon but just wanted to post this FR first to get things rolling. I want these reports to be easy to digest for my future reference so I will format everything so that the main emphasis is what I learned and what I feel like I have to work on so that I can keep myself focused and accountable. Scroll all the way down to the bottom for a TLDR if you just want to read the important takeaways and not be bored with the fluff.

Background:
After a long hiatus from all forms of game I decided to start night gaming. I strongly prefer to day game and I tried on and off for like 4 months but its not viable in this new town I'm in. Since I'm new here I am forced to go out to night game solo and I have never done this before. I was supposed to start 2 weeks ago but I kept chickening out but finally decided to stop being a chicken this weekend.

The Goal:
My main goal for THIS NIGHT was to just to stop being a pussy and actually go to a bar and stay there for at least 30 mins. I made a list of 4 bars and I just wanted to scout and feel out which one was my vibe and which ones had enough traffic. So I had absolutely no expectations and would've been happy to just sit there by the bar quietly on my phone for the whole night.

The Report:
So I pulled up to the first bar. The first 2 times I just drove by and didn't go in because it had too much of a restaurant vibe but this was a wrong assessment. You can only see the outdoor section and the table areas from outside so you can't really see whats going on in the bar area unless you physically go in. I walked in and made my way to the bar and immediately did not like the vibe. It was too loud, too high energy, and too crowded and I wanted to just sit comfortably and just chill instead of having to be forced to stand around awkwardly. Did a quick u-turn and walked out.

I pull up to the second bar and walk in and its surprisingly empty AF. The very few people that were there had tables and were not by the bar area. I was just quietly sitting by the bar for a while with my drink but decided to try and strike convo with the bartender since he seems like a cool chatty dude. After a while the place was still empty so I was getting ready to leave but I wanted to finish my drink first. Just as I was about to finish the drink, 2 girls walk in and sit right next to me and I knew that they sat next to me on purpose because there was like a million empty seats. I would've felt like a pussy if I left without talking to them but wasn't sure how to open because they were conversing with each other and the girl that was next to me her body was kinda blocking me out. I was pretending to be watching the TV but I was low key watching them from the corner of my eyes trying to wait for a lull in their convo to open them.

After like a minute or 2 the bartender threw me an alley oop. He was walking toward my direction and I IMMEDIATELY see the 2 girls stop talking and shift all their focus toward my direction because they peeped that the bartender was coming to talk to me. As I am chatting with him I can see from the corner of my eyes that the 2 chicks turned their bodies to face me and are attentively listening in on our convo. He said some funny shit so me and the bartender start cracking up, as soon as he walks away to attend a customer the chick next to me opens me with questions about the stuff I was talking about with the bartender.

I notice that as soon as she starts talking to me some dude jumps into the seat next to the other chick and starts talking to her. I found that kinda weird because dude popped out of nowhere. He must've been lurking somewhere but you can't really see whats going on behind you when you are seated in the bar area. But anyways nothing noteworthy I just have convo with the chick and shes cool and I could sense that shes green but I don't really know wtf I'm doing and wasn't prepared to mingle with anyone so didn't really do anything besides platonic convo.

After like an hour or so the other dude goes to the bathroom so we invite the other chick into our conversation until the dude gets back. Once he gets back, he attempts a pull with his chick. To me it felt like the weirdest and clunkiest pull attempt ever, for a good 20 mins I thought that the chicks were trying to plot some weird way of getting rid of the dude but somehow she ended up complying and went with him. If I were him I would've ejected because things got weird AF but this taught me that persistence can work as long as you stay calm and unaffected. I was thinking of going for the pull too but by this point I could sense that my chick had gotten a bit too drunk. It was already pretty late so I finished my drink and bounced.

TLDR Important Takeaways:
What I learned:

• When out solo its good to chat up the bartenders. The bartender in this FR created the opportunity for the chicks to open me. I most likely would've chickened out and not opened them if it wasn't for that alley oop. In the future I'm keeping in mind that when its my 1st time at a bar then its probably a good idea to go an hour early before it gets busy to acquaint with the bartenders because at a certain point they get too busy to converse with people.
• Be persistent. The dude who was talking to my chick's friend had the clunkiest pull attempt ever but somehow it worked.
• Move FAST especially with greens to avoid situations where they end up getting too drunk to pull them or any other weird shit that might happen.

Things I forgot to do that I'm normally good at:

• Should've physically moved the interaction to different location within the bar. There was a secluded back area with couches and stuff that was kinda empty, perfect place for some physical escalation and maybe a make out.

What I need to work on:

• Open sets to get rid of AA. This weekend I had an excuse because it was empty but next time I have to open sets.
• My verbal escalation still feels super off as I've always been horrible at verbally escalating. I rely too much on physical escalations. I have some theories as to what I am doing wrong and have a handful of ideas to test out. Will report back how it goes.
• In future I need to physically place myself in the middle of the chicks so that its easier to control the interaction and handle outside interference. In this case the dude did me a solid by occupying the other chick. I would've been stuck not knowing what to do if I was actually interested in the other chick instead. I was just lucky that the chick next to me was the one I was actually interested in.

Questions:
I'm autistic AF when it comes to opening at night game. Are you supposed to only open sets when you can tell they are bored/disengaged from main group or do you just barge in and open chicks even if their immersed in a conversation? There's a voice in my head yelling at me that its rude to open when they are engaged in convo but not sure if its just my AA fucking with me.

 

[House]

Great read, thanks for posting. I’ve been working up the courage to go out night gaming alone and this helped

 

[FunGuy]

Great read, thanks for posting. I’ve been working up the courage to go out night gaming alone and this helped

Thanks bro! What helped me the most was setting low expectations and taking small steps. At first I was putting too much pressure on myself to try and get results but once I set a more realistic goal to be happy just sitting by the bar quietly then I noticed it calmed my nerves a lot.

Also to hype myself up I watched some VH1 pickup artist on the later episodes once the contestants started getting good at approaching. If those dudes can muster up the courage to go solo and make huge improvements then anyone can do so as well! I'm looking forward to going out again this upcoming weekend.

 

[Skills]

I am a huge proponent of solo night gaming, it is my prefer method... all these years till present 90% of the time i do solo... Some things:

- don't worry about the first hour or two too much, use them as warm up, they don't count...
- try to do couple of days in a raw to carry momentum...
- try to move around, and go to different spots and different venues...

I am personally don't use much verbal's, i do more physical.... I rely more subs and vibes... get a feel for the venue, dynamics and atmosphere vs "what i am going to open with" "how is your night going" will do... remember to ask how do you guys know each other... remember goal of the opener is to buy time...

 

[Derek da man]

Thanks bro! What helped me the most was setting low expectations and taking small steps.

This is key when learning developing any new skills. Set a small goal, if/when you achieve it set another goal as you progress. As long as you recognise the success of each step you will remain positive and motivated as well as being able to make objective judgements.

I'm looking forward to going out again this upcoming weekend.

It's good you remain motivated - going solo can be a challenge - remember this when you get a small set back or are unable to achieve something one night.

When out solo its good to chat up the bartenders. The bartender in this FR created the opportunity for the chicks to open me. I most likely would've chickened out and not opened them if it wasn't for that alley oop. In the future I'm keeping in mind that when its my 1st time at a bar then its probably a good idea to go an hour early before it gets busy to acquaint with the bartenders because at a certain point they get too busy to converse with people.

First time I had a girl position herself next to me in a bar I was surprised, same as you, plenty of other seats avaibale but she sat next to me. Took me a moment to recoverand realise why she sat there before opening her. Since this I've repeated this and girls will regularly come and sit next to me. Being a single guy standing/sitting at a bar is a kind of advert saying "I'm open to an approach", and even more surprisingly the girls are often very attractive. I guess this is kinda related to the "Doing less, getting more" philosphy.

Move FAST especially with greens to avoid situations where they end up getting too drunk to pull them or any other weird shit that might happen.

Girls go out for the same reason men do - to find a man. Therefore the fact that they make an effort allowing you to open them means they are already attracted to your look, it's then a case of maintaining that attraction and basically not messing up. Not moving the girl, not making the conversation sexual, not being confident, not physically escalation are all examples of messing it up, but I've made plenty of others too.

I'm autistic AF when it comes to opening at night game. Are you supposed to only open sets when you can tell they are bored/disengaged from main group or do you just barge in and open chicks even if their immersed in a conversation? There's a voice in my head yelling at me that its rude to open when they are engaged in convo but not sure if its just my AA fucking with me.

This all depends on being socially calibrated in the way that you do it. If it's a small close group of friends then it could be quite rude to walk in and open them, but if you were needing to squeeze by in a busy bar and bump into them then there are possible ways to use this to your advantage. Similarly if you're talking to someone and you turn slightly and there is a group you want to open next to you then you can open indirectly. This either takes a bit of setting up, or lady luck can just give opportunities, you just need to be able to recognise them and take advantage of them.


For what it's worth I don't really see myself as a "Night Game" person but I have spent a fair amount of time in bars for Salsa and Bachata and while there are differences some of the dynamics are fairly similar -

 

[House]

Thanks bro! What helped me the most was setting low expectations and taking small steps. At first I was putting too much pressure on myself to try and get results but once I set a more realistic goal to be happy just sitting by the bar quietly then I noticed it calmed my nerves a lot.

Also to hype myself up I watched some VH1 pickup artist on the later episodes once the contestants started getting good at approaching. If those dudes can muster up the courage to go solo and make huge improvements then anyone can do so as well! I'm looking forward to going out again this upcoming weekend.

I’m going to try that out, just go in with the intention to sit at the bar and then move the goal post from there. Solid advice!

I need to watch the series, I’ve only seen a couple clips. I usually hype myself up by watching tik toks of dudes cold approach with the ray ban camera glasses. No stacks or anything they just go in raw it’s incredible