FR 2.5 more hours in the streets of Melbourne

[The Kid]

Hello out there my loyal fans and welcome back to beautiful Melbourne Australia for another thrilling tale of The Kid's (mis)adventures. So today I way way overslept and didn't hit the streets until after 2 but that's just the way the cookie crumbles sometimes. Anyway it looks like Sunday is International Go Out Shopping With The Wife And Kids Slash Your Significant Other Or Else Stay Home Day because the pickings were pretty slim if you ask me. But still at 2:50 I ran into Shopping Girl and lo:
TK: Excuse me....are you single?
SG: Yes...
TK: Good, I'm The Kid. (which I'm not actually sure what to say when she says she's single but going for the intro seems to be not too bad)
SG: Listen, I'm really busy...
TK: (too smart to fall for that one) Oh yeah, busy with what?
SG: Shopping.
TK: Yeah, shopping for shoes?
SG: Christmas shopping actually.
TK: That's cool. Are you from around here?
SG: No.
TK: Where are you from?
SG: Over that way.
TK: Nearby?
SG: No.
TK: So how do you like Melbourne?
SG: It's okay.
TK: What do you do here?
SG: I work.
TK: Yeah, what do you do?
SG: Um, I don't really want to talk.
TK: All right, see you later.
So that was basically the crown jewel in the history of my social life up to that point and I was thinking How on Earth am I ever going to be able to top that masterpiece?? when I wandered into the deserted outskirts of town and got lost for a little while but eventually I made it back to where the people were at so I'm walking down the street when Purpleskirt Leatherjacket darts by me and into a 7-11 and I don't get a good look at her but so I keep walking and five or ten minutes later who passes me by again but Purpleskirt Leatherjacket and so I still can't get a good look at her but so she goes and sits on this barricade thing and I stride by like 50 meters or so and then turn around and go back and HUMM BABY Purpleskirt Leatherjacket is one of the five hottest girls I've ever seen in my life which I don't know what your standards are but she very comfortably met and exceeded mine but so I choke here and walk like fifteen feet past her before stopping and being all "Dude, dude, dude, what the hell are you doing go talk to her" in my head at which point Purpleskirt Leatherjacket proceeds to get up walk fifteen feet down the barricade thing to where I am and sit back down which well I'm not going to hesitate at that point and lo:
TK: Hey...are you single?
PL: Yes, but I'm not from around here.
TK: What? I'm from California. Where are you from?
PL: Sydney. You can sit down, you don't have to stand there.
So Purpleskirt Leatherjacket is just dripping IOIs today while I'm sitting there and giving the incredibly smooth conversation that I thank this site for teaching me when all of a sudden she pulls out a cigarette lights it up and shoves it into her mouth which DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMITALL but that's like the biggest turn-off in the entire world as far as I'm concerned. The Kid's first kiss is not going to taste like tobacco and benzene, not if I have any say in the matter. Which I do. But see here's the thing I've actually been working on supressing any visible disgust from my part when interacting with smokers as per the whole "warmth" thing and so I'm so incredibly cool in the face of this catastrophe that she even offers me one. So long story short this physically perfect girl whom I'm not attracted to sits next to me for like 20 minutes and just hits on me the whole time. I even get the "So where are you staying" out of the blue which instead of "Let's go check it out" I have to say "Oh just over there" like I don't know what's up. It was surreal. Anyway she burns up two cigarettes and heads on back to her hotel room which so long Purpleskirt Leatherjacket. But so this here was by orders of magnitude the warmest reception I've had in like 10 different outings of doing this stuff; I never really believed that it could actually work but now I'm 100% convinced that with the right girl on the right day you can achieve some really remarkable things. It's definitely worth ten Shopping Girls if you can just get to the one Purpleskirt Leatherjacket. Who doesn't smoke, ideally.

 

[AFCnoob]

Nice post. It seemed like the first girl you wrote about really wasn't feeling it, but I think you gave up too easily nonetheless. Still, at least you're out there doin' it. Really too bad you can't tolerate smoking, bro.

 

[Chase]

It's great to see you wind up in a good interaction after a bunch of ones that didn't go anywhere, Kid. And that's pretty much how street goes most of the time.

Quick tip: if you meet a girl who meets most of your standards but not all of them, but she's receptive and you can push things further than you're experienced to pushing them, set your reservations aside and go for it. You don't necessarily have to kiss her or sleep with her, but take it up as close as you can to that point to get the experience under your belt. That way, it won't be the first time you'll have done it when you DO meet that perfect girl who doesn't smoke... you'll already have been through the motions before and you'll know what to do.

And, on the kissing thing... you could've always gone back with her and simply not kissed her... on the MOUTH... right?



Chase

 

[The Kid]

Yes, you make some very valid points here. I was thinking a lot about PL today, and I decided that I probably should've cast my doubts aside and shot for the moon there. She coughed like a 90-year-old man, it's true, but making certain compromises for these flings is what makes the world go round. Anyways I've got one more day in Melbourne so let's see if we can make it count.

 

[AFCnoob]

She coughed like a 90-year-old man...

Looooooooooooool.

 

[nd2012]

Haha that's wild you open up with 'Hey are you single'. That sure is letting them know what your after haha.
Melbourne can be tricky, alot of tourists!

 

[Landlord]

Interested to know others' thoughts about 'are you single?' as a direct opener.
Personally I probably wouldn't use it, but I could see how it could be pulled off if you were in high spirits and it was asked in a very playful way.
Some of the female reactions described seemed like they were put off by it...would be interesting to see what would unfold with each of those targets had an indirect approach or a less 'interrogative' approach been used. asking 'are you single' is really just a polite way of saying 'I want to fuck you.'

Which Purple clearly was game for. (I love Sydney girls!)
Man, let her finish her cigarette, offer her a breath mint and take her back for a good Sydney Shag!

Hey about breath mints...been trying this one recently. I've got a bit of gum disease I'm trying to sort out and It can give me a bit of bad breath at times, so Ive been walking around with tic-tacs in my pocket. Really interesting that when I offer one to them first, they more often than not say "oh, do I have bad breath?" Really interesting way to turn the tables on that one.

 

[A Life Loquacious]

I always have (sugar-free) chewing gum on me anyway as I know it's good for oral health to keep saliva levels up through chewing between meals and after eating acidic foods/drinks. So I pretty much always pop a chewing gum after drinking a coffee or an alcoholic beverage or eating sweets etc. I've pretty much made it a reflex action to offer one to the person I am with (regardless of gender) at the same time - if I eat one first and then offer it to them, they don't take it the wrong way i.e. "OMG I stink" and if they ask I tell them what I said above re: overall mouth health. So basically I am leading by example and avoiding casting negative aspersions.

Otherwise blowing out hot chicks just because they smoke seems a bit... idunno, shallow. I know it's a pretty horrible habit, but on some levels, most smokers want to quit or massively cut down anyway, and having a strong, n9on-judgemental role-model in their lives such as your good self could be the catalyst that encourages them to stop. After all, relationships are about give and take, and you need to be mindful of what you bring and offer to the women you want to take from...

cheers