FR 2 Girls, 1 store... got busted!

[PrettyDecent]

Hey everyone,

I've really realized how important it is to be a genuine, warm person today. Hopefully this FR shows that

To the story...this morning I finally got my brother to read the GC primer on fashion, and got him convinced that wearing the same sweats and oversized shirt was just not cutting it anymore. Great day for him! We swung over to the big city to get that shopping done. While testing his new clothes, I talked to this fantastically cute girl [we'll call her CuteAussieGal] working there, we had a great conversation, and got her number before I left to the counter to purchase my brother's new apparel.

Anyways, hanging out at the cash register and CuteAussieGal heads behind the counter. I don't want to start another conversation with her to keep the anticipation of our next meet up, so I exit the store to wait
outside.

I sit down on a strange, modern-esque bench with another attractive girl by my side [we'll call her AttractiveKiwiWoman]. This conversation also goes very well, so I grab her number. And just after, she says "Alright, if I don't go in now, they're going to kill me for not working!". And then it dawned upon me they work in the same store...woops!!

I try sending ice breaker texts at different times so that they wouldn't notice my little mistake. My first text leaves to AttractiveKiwiWoman 10 minutes after I meet her, and I send a text to CuteAussieGal about an hour and a half after I see her.

Here was the ensuing text convo with AttractiveKiwiWoman:

Me 5:44 : Hey its Nick...save my number.

Her 5:45 : Haha okay saved

Her 6:47 : So weird one of the girls from work said she met a guy called Nick on her break

At 6:47 I also get another text message, but by CuteAussieGal saying (I'm also going to add my initial text for clarification purposes):

Me 6:30 : Hey CuteAussieGal, glad to have met you - Nick

Her 6:47 : Hey it was nice meeting you too

At this point I decide I'm going to keep talking with AttractiveKiwiWoman, since she's obviously the leader type of the two, and if I win her, I'll probably win both (so from the beginning):

Me 5:44 : Hey its Nick...save my number.

Her 5:45 : Haha okay saved

Her: 6:47 : So weird one of the girls from work said she met a guy called Nick on her break

Me 7:46 : Yeah, that could be possible. I'm a pretty social guy .

Her 7:50 : Haha nice how many girls numbers do u get a day?

Me 7:57 : Well, if I meet a girl, and there's interest from both of us, I want to see what it'd turn into. No expectations, just see where it goes .

Her 7:59 : Haha well atleast ur honest should I keep talking to you though?

Me 8:01 : Sure, why not? You seem pretty cool

Her 8:06 : Haha thankyou your not too bad yourself

I almost went down the gamey, "well if it's a good day, I can try and get 356 numbers" route, but I'm glad I went for warm, genuine person instead. Probably doesn't work in every situation, but I think their close-to-auto-rejection states needed it.

Anyways, I think I'm just going to phone call CuteAussieGal tomorrow afternoon so I can get her out, and then text AttractiveKiwiWoman a bit later to get her schedule.

Would love to hear questions, comments and critiques from anyone

Cheers,
Jake

 

[AFCnoob]

Zero approach anxiety, I like it. I've run into the two girls/multiple girls one venue/locale problem before and honestly wish there was some detailed advice on logistics in that kind of situation. I can only offer a noob perspective but:

I don't think it's such a big deal with the mixup thing. If one or both of them is willing to consider you as possible lover material, I don't think this would put them off. However, I do wonder about the wisdom of *pursuing*/following up with both girls on the same day. You're absolutely right about going for the "lead" female, not because you can win both, but because if you fail with the leader, you still have a shot with the second, but not the other way around.

However, if you continue trying to connect with both of them (esp. via text) at the same time, and they're comparing notes, things might go south pretty quickly. I think you might pick one, and stick with her until you decide to move her out, otherwise you might risk sending one or both girls into auto rejection just to save face.

 

[Marty]

Hey PrettyDecent,

That's real funny!

So you're Jake with us guys and Nick with the girls, right? ;-)

I've wondered about this a few times, living in a medium-sized city where a lot of people know one another. I've approached at least 3 girls from the accounting firm PWC, two from KPMG, and perhaps five within social circle as well as cold approach who attended the same university and did the same major as each other. Plus a bunch of lawyers who all work in the same cluster of office buildings, although for different firms. I have no evidence, though, that any of them ever compared notes!

Nicely handled, anyway... you maintain preselection and the "sexy man" vibe without going overboard as "playing the field"... nice and "social" and warm, as you indeed put it. I like it.

-Marty

 

[PrettyDecent]

Marty -

Nice catch! Yeah, I tried using my brother's name as a way of concealing my identity, but I've slacked with having to use my phone to post on GC while my internet's down. So yes, my name is Nick, but I'll keep using Jake for consistency.

Moving to larger cities is probably in the cards for us at some point.

AFCnoob-

Didn't think about that. Sometimes I get really caught up in "playing the game" when I communicate or interact over the phone, and forget how to empathize.

CuteAussieGal is hands down far cuter than AttractiveKiwiWoman, but it seems I'd need to get with the second before I got the first? Don't know how that would realistically work, either.

Any advice from the community?

Jake

 

[Sly]

If there's a predicament I had to be in, I think it this would be it: having to choose between women.

Great job on getting both their numbers! You obviously made them both feel very comfortable with you, which is great.

To begin, obviously both women have some kind of relationship, as not only do they work together but even shared personal details about meeting you to one another. I think this makes things a bit more tricky, yet manageable if played correctly. I think how you handled your message reply to AttractiveKiwiWoman was perfect and key for the future.

Her 7:50 : Haha nice how many girls numbers do u get a day?

Me 7:57 : Well, if I meet a girl, and there's interest from both of us, I want to see what it'd turn into. No expectations, just see where it goes .

This exemplified to her you're a desirable man of high worth, with different options of women in your life. Unfortunately, this conversation wasn't between you and the cuter one, but nonetheless AttractiveKiwiWoman is aware of the fact as she knows you got her coworkers number. You have to assume that conversation was even shared with AttractiveKiwiWoman. I agree with AFCNOOB here though that if you continue to speak to both women, you will cause them potentially to go into auto rejection as you may come off as a player (which most women don't like), purely interested in sex. You don't want this, unless either is craving a good banging and that would work in your favour (don't think that's the case though).

With that being said, I think you go for the woman you want more. If it doesn't work, move on to the next. In the unlikelihood neither bites, you've got endless stores with new hot co-workers.

SLY

 

[The Byronic Man]

Nice (and funny) recovery!

I like how you opted for warmth over gaming...seems to demonstrate social intelligence, which I guess she picked up on (bonus points). I can see this being a weakness of mine since I came from a very gamey, classic indirect style of pickup.

A girl that I had no interest in recently messaged me online (with the worst opener EVER), but I was curious where I can take the conversation. I lost her due to being too gamey instead of being warm (I was testing boundaries for my own calibration):

 

[PrettyDecent]

Thanks for the props, fellas!

Byronic Man -

That made me actually laugh, haha. I was reading an article on GC called "How to Text a Girl" and it said

Three elements to a meetup text:
- Be warm
- Offer value
- Keep your eye on the ball

I've swung to the other side of the spectrum now, and I won't even tease a girl over text anymore. I'll probably need to correct that at some point, but my texting is leading to much better results (i.e. establishing non-flakey meet ups) with this addition.

Sly -

I ultimately took your advice, so thank you. I kept talking to AttractiveKiwiWoman rather than CuteAussieGal because the transition would've been too awkward otherwise. Here's how the rest of the convo went:

Me 7:49 : And how was the rest of your weekend, AttractiveKiwiWoman? =)

Her 7:51 : Good haha wby??

Me 8:18 : Awesome! Saw the streets of Freo just freak yesterday, lol. We should grab a lunch soon, what's your schedule like this week?

Her 8:20 : Freo wouldve been goin off they even painted the street purple so cool im really busy this week sorry and quite broke :/ haha

Me 8:32 : Yeah, Aussies here are nuts, lol. No worries, AttractiveKiwiWoman . We'll try again another time.

Her 8:34 : Where exactly are you from? Haha sweet

Me 8:42 : Over the pond in a land far away... both of us, right Kiwi gal?

Her: Haha right im abit closer to home though .

I left it there because I want to keep the anticipation for the next meetup high, but perhaps I should have responded something warm wrapping up the convo, so I wasn't just ignoring her..?

Anyways, I'm going to finish this case after I come back from a 2 week excursion. Until then, I've got an actual meetup tonight, so wish me luck .

Jake

 

[Chase]

Nick-

I think this is one where you would've been better served being a little fun instead of matter-of-fact, actually - like so:

Nick: Hey its Nick...save my number.

Kiwi: Haha okay saved

Kiwi: So weird one of the girls from work said she met a guy called Nick on her break

Nick: That's impossible. You know you're the only girl for me, Kiwi. She must be truly weird indeed.

Then follow it up with a phone call later to laugh about it, rebuild some attainability (because now she's feeling like you're a big player), and set up the date there.

Meantime, text the Aussie girl something like, "Hey, I thought we had a special thing going... you are so outside the circle of trust, my friend!" and get into some banter about this betrayal (she'll probably come back with something about how you broke the circle of trust too by talking to Kiwi; you'll ignore that and joke some more about discretion, then try to get her on a date; if she said the other girl called you weird, come back with, "I would never say that. She's just trying to sow dissension between us and destroy the special bond that we have").

You could actually make this a really fun deal where you're trying to get both girls on dates and they're comparing notes. Since you know they're comparing notes, and they know you know, you can play them off each other and make it REALLY fun. If it becomes fun for both of them, they will both go out with you, just to keep the fun going... and they may well both sleep with you to keep the fun going.

In fact, there's a lot you can do with this (and still can - I'd be talking to both of them).

Chase

 

[PrettyDecent]

Chase,

I didn't know that was an option, but it makes more sense! I'll have to use this fun little method the next time I meet two girls who know each other. Need a way those two with this before I get back to the homeland, since I'm temporarily outta there again...they really were both attractive! I'll post the results on here.

How was it that you knew to be more fun rather than matter-of-fact? I understand this probably comes from possessing good social intuition, but if it were to be explained in logical terms -- was it to reduce that somewhat awkward tension, since joking is what releases tension? Or is it through understanding that the inherent nature of girls love that game of "pitting 'em against each other"?

Nick

 

[Chase]

Nick-

How was it that you knew to be more fun rather than matter-of-fact? I understand this probably comes from possessing good social intuition, but if it were to be explained in logical terms -- was it to reduce that somewhat awkward tension, since joking is what releases tension? Or is it through understanding that the inherent nature of girls love that game of "pitting 'em against each other"?

The thought process is like this:

• 
  1. Both girls know you've approached both of them, and are talking about it
  
  2. If you just play it off as, "Yeah, I'm just a cool guy, so whatevs," they'll compare notes about it again and laugh and say, "He is SO busted!"
  
  3. When people are laughing about you, and you've legitimately done something a little silly, unless you join in the laughter, they only laugh harder
  
  4. When people are laughing too hard at you and YOU'RE not laughing, they start to lose respect for you and see you as a "funny guy who doesn't get it"
  
  5. If instead you realize the humor of the situation, and poke fun at it, and become "in" on it, it's now all of you laughing together at the situation
  
  6. When you're all laughing together at the situation and having a good time, the girls will want the good time to continue
  
  7. In this case, if you handle your texting right, you can structure it so that the good times ONLY continue if the girls come out with you on dates

Basically, you're avoiding being the guy who's either serious or standing around with a sheepish grin whom they laugh about together and say, "What a silly man!", because that man they don't have much interest in sexually or romantically anymore.

If you're contributing to the fun though (in a non-goofy way), and you're ramping things up, that makes it a lot more exciting. When you're inserting romantic / sexual subext into the jokes, the fun scales up even more, while also setting the tone for what's to come - you're playing the role of over-the-top Latin or Italian seducer guy who doesn't realize how ridiculous he seems - but since they know you're just playing, they're now inclined to play along.

Any time you get a "people are conspiring against me in some way" situation, the first question you need to ask is, "How do they react if I do this, vs. that?" You kind of need to see how people think about people who are "busted", but when someone gets "found out" about something you suspect he doesn't want to be found out about, the best way for him to handle it is always to just smile and participate in the joking, rather than play it off or ignore it or shrug, which only makes others laugh at him harder. I've been around enough people getting "found out" who try to shrug it off without participating in the laughter / joking around, and these are some of the people you laugh at hardest because you KNOW they didn't want to get caught and it's just so funny that they did. When they join in, then it's more like, "Oh, I guess it wasn't such a big deal to him," but it can still be fun in a more collaborative way.

Chase

 

[PrettyDecent]

Chase,

There was a big "Aha!" moment when I read that. Playing into the joke (awkward situation) is much better than being in the center of it. So the centerpiece of my texts from here on out will have to be in that "over-the-top Latin guy" feel.

Tomorrow night I'm going to call AttractiveKiwiWoman in the way that was taught in the e-book with phone calls (haven't practiced phone calls yet), but start out with something witty pertaining to this situation to show I "get it" and playing along with it, then go back down to Earth with a scheduled meetup.

With the Aussie girl, I'll send something with that template you gave me: "Hey, I thought we had a special thing going... you are so outside the circle of trust, my friend!" not to long after. I'm also thinking this will nullify the fact we haven't talked since last week (considering a week is a while for attraction to fade); comparing notes with this text from the phone call I gave her friend will make it exciting for her...guess we'll see!

Nick