FR 2nd outing, 4 approaches and a mini date

[Mr.SocialAcceptableHarem]

This 1st approach happened at my college campus shortly after I had finished posting my first FR. I was walking by and I saw this girl from afar at a table outside. Here goes:

Me: "excuse me, I was just walking by and I noticed how pretty you were and I wanted to come say hi"

Her: (blushes and laugh) "oh thank you"

Me: "I'm x what's your name?"

Her: "I'm y"

(we shake hands)

Me: "do you mind if I sit down?"

Her: "not at all"

Me: "so what are you up to?"

Her: "oh I'm just studying"

Me: "what are you studying?"

Her: "I'm studying for z"

The rest I don't remember the exact details but I know we talked about nature because she liked to go out into nature and then a little bit about school. Basically I was able to get past small talk and into a real conversation. I didn't know how to flirt tho on command, so it had a pretty platonic vibe. She told me she had a boyfriend like 10 minutes into the conversation and then I decided to end it. Could have gotten her number still to be friends since I'm still trying to make new friends but whatever.


These next three approaches took place at the mall:

So there had been three chances I had to approach with different girls but I chickened out each time. 4th opportunity was this girl in the food court I saw staring out into space. What got me to approach was saying to myself "What's the worst that could happen? This is low risk." I approach her and it goes really well she isn't surprised or creeped out , we talk for 10 minutes and I get her number. Later on in my outing when I got back into the food court to take a break, I see her again and hang out with her for like 15 minutes, kinda a mini date. There is a pattern between this interaction and the previous one that I shared where I don't know how to start flirting if the flirting isn't happening naturally. It'd be great for pointers on this

Next girl I see walking by me and then I turn around and do a side approach. She gives off a really energetic vibe and it is enjoyable to talk to her. When I ask her what she's doing here she says she uses the mall as a place to think. Then I comment how my place to think is the woods and then she says that she can't go to the woods because she's a women and then I realize she's talking about men raping her or something. After the interaction I realize that might have been her way of saying she wanted me to go away considering I am a man and I am a stranger. anyways, she says she has to get going and we part ways.

Last interaction is also with side approach, we have a small conversation and then she says she has to get going. Out of desperation I ask her for her number and she says no.

I know this is obvious but after this outing I realized if they say they have to get going it means they are not interested. My question: is there a way to bypass this? does that entail just coming across better in the opening and having better fundamentals? I think I'm pretty much nailing the raw approach but I could be wrong. Any comments would be appreciated; thank you.

 

[HoofHearted]

I really like how you posted questions, and then got after it IRL.

I want to be like that, too! (Havent been out in a week and a half, been doing social stuff).

You've inspired me im going out soon

 

[StrayDog]

way to get out there and do it dude! That's how it gets done. What are you saying when you open these women? that might offer some insight here

 

[Starboy]

If a girl is saying she has to get going that doesn't necessarily mean she isn't interested at all. It's unexpected for girls to be approached and hit on in the street and the situation confuses them so as a man you have to pace and lead her. If a girl is trying to leave what I will say "hey before you go" or "one last thing" in a casual chill manner and then try to close her and suggest a date.

If you say that your happy place is the woods and the girl says the woods terrify her unless she mentions it in a serious manner that's personal like men possible raping her(which I doubt is the context she meant) make a joke out of it. "But in the woods you'll get to meet bambi!" in a playful manner and smile of course. Or any other witty comeback you can think of that involves the wood just keep it lighthearted.

If you're struggling with flirting just tease her if you feel that she's enjoying talking to you and you guys are having a engaging conversation. Don't tease her about any sensitive topics or anything that will likely offend her. If you haven't teased girls a lot you'' probably be hesitant to and default to nice friendly guy talk so you have to risk offending some girls until you get the hang of it.

For small outings like this i'd recommend making a journal to detail your progress. Don't worry people will read it and offer feedback. If you want examples of stuff i'd say or talk about with girls when I was newer u can check out my journal as well.

 

[Will_V]

Then I comment how my place to think is the woods and then she says that she can't go to the woods because she's a women and then I realize she's talking about men raping her or something. After the interaction I realize that might have been her way of saying she wanted me to go away considering I am a man and I am a stranger. anyways, she says she has to get going and we part ways.

No, that's just in your head. She's just telling you what she feels, you have to show you understand (pace her reality) and get her focusing on something positive. e.g. "Yeah there can be a few weirdos around sometimes but when you're with someone you feel safe with it's a beautiful place to just let your senses run free yada yada".

A big mistake guys can make is to think that women are communicating all these clear, conscious messages associated with some logical agenda (because that's how men work). But most of the time, she just impulsively communicates whatever she feels, and what she really wants is for you to reflect the feeling back (if it's positive) or transform it to something positive and then reflect it back. She thinks in emotions, that's why you can say all kinds of random nonsense to women but as long as it has the right 'feels' she laps it up.

Last interaction is also with side approach, we have a small conversation and then she says she has to get going. Out of desperation I ask her for her number and she says no.

I know this is obvious but after this outing I realized if they say they have to get going it means they are not interested. My question: is there a way to bypass this? does that entail just coming across better in the opening and having better fundamentals? I think I'm pretty much nailing the raw approach but I could be wrong. Any comments would be appreciated; thank you.

Again, it doesn't necessarily mean they aren't interested, but it does mean that they are not engaged with the conversation.

You say that you have trouble shifting toward a flirty vibe on command. One of the best ways to transition toward it is simply to shift toward more personal topics. Ask questions about her personality, about what kind of girl she is, what excites her, how she likes to unwind and have fun, etc. It's hard to be asking these personal questions (and sharing your own personal stuff) without the vibe becoming a little more intimate, then you can more easily play around with stuff like eye contact, like after she shares something quite personal you can just hold the eye contact in silence for a second or two before replying, as if you're exploring her soul.

One more thing, something that sounds petty but it works like a charm, if she ever says something like 'I need to get going' just grab the frame right back and say 'yeah I need to go somewhere too, I like the way we vibe though, let's catch up another time for a coffee?'. It doesn't matter if she believes you or not (that you have to go somewhere), she experiences the ending as you having to go, not her. That way it's not like she's trying to get away and you're running after her asking for the number. And don't ask for the number, suggest catching up again first, if she doesn't bite on that, she's not giving you any digits.