3 things I learnt from my successfully married Uncle

[DoWhatWorks]

TLDR:

My Uncle runs a long term relationship with kids in a dynamic I respect. This is how when I asked him:

1. Set a few simple non-negotiable rules upfront --> that way she knows what she's getting into. His was "I don't like nagging - if I do something wrong she can say it once then we'll move on" loool what a G. Having a few makes it easy to follow vs having an unrealistic list.

2. Be a genuine guy --> this was the first thing he said before he gave me reason 1 when I pressed him. I think it holds weight, when a girl can tell you're a "good" leader who'll try and do what's right instead of leading for the sake of leading or ego, she's more likely to follow

3. Be willing to walk away --> "my wife knows there's some things that if she did, I'd be out the door" he said it and I believed him. By how his wife treats him, she believes it too.

4. Give her the gift of winning you over --> My Uncle doesn't know that I know but his current wife was an old FB for a couple years. Things didn't work out with a main girl and she got the upgrade/call up lol. God bless gossiping aunties, very confident this helped with the existing dynamic.


Longer version/Context:

My Uncle has been married in the UK 20+ years and he's still in control of the relationship. Oldest daughter is married, both sons have gone to college and stayed out of trouble. They're both from an African country which helps but his wife still does most household chores and respects/listens to him. All while living a 50/50 bills type relationship where her family is wealthier than ours.

Pretty damn impressive if you ask me... Especially when he's not rich enough to run Alpha-provider game so ultimately has less leverage

Alongside the top things already mentioned, here's what else I've seen reading between the lines.

• My Uncle is disgustingly charming. Saw him effortlessly enamor a Bulgarian woman (in Bulgarian) at some student fair he joined me on. His daughter was there and brushed it off like "that's just dad" he's still a threat and his wife knows it

• He understands (to a moderate natural level) woman nature. He speaks about how "women love competition" and has joked/suggested him getting a 2nd wife

• A very underrated one - he is extremely street smart. Which I summarize as someone who's able to maneuver life in a way to get what they want. Seen this personally that woman find this very attractive and it's often why wealthier girls will go with a poorer guy despite all this "hypergamy" bs that RP masterbate over. Being able to get what you want even with minimal means is one of the most dominant traits you can show.

Hope that's helpful and adds something a little different to the forum

Onwards & Upwards x

 

[Zoro]

He’s on top of his shit.

Compare that to the stereotype way of “let yourself go” after marriage.

The game doesn’t end, and the way to make it fun is to keep winning.

 

[topcat]

saved

 

[Beck Bass]

I concur with all of this, this is how good relationships are ran.

My Uncle doesn't know that I know but his current wife was an old FB for a couple years

Yeah, it's the woman's job to get the guy to commit. I see guys running after girls and promising them the world so they can be together, and this shit never works. If the guy needs something other than being himself to get the girl (as in sex), you already know he doesn't really have the girl. If another guy that has slight better X (whatever that is, money, looks, something) than you, gives her this as well, won't she just switch? You can be pretty sure she might.

There's also a lot of women that are not really interested in real relationships with men. Many of them are good looking, and just use their looks to get whatever else they want (some don't even look that good, but know how to look 'hot", like put on some tight clothes and some makeup and get attention). Of course all women are "pragmatic" in this way to some degree (just like men, in a level or another "just want to use women for sex"), but there's clearly girls that are on another level, that will have a guy provide for them, then bang all the hot guys they want behind his back, and still flirt with loads of others, some of which will be chasing them hard and giving them presents and whatnot, in the hopes of some pussy.
Not sure if that's just a phase for them, some might get so addicted to this that they might try to keep it for as long as they can, but I would avoid those girls like the plague, regardless (unless it's just for sex, like you're the random hot dude, but even then, best to avoid them crazies).

But for a relationship, you don't want just a girl that is looking for a relationship, or a girl that only meets your criteria, but for a girl that wants a relationship WITH YOU. Like you're the guy she sees herself with, and only you, at least for while you're dating (hopefully, if things don't work out, she can move on, but you know what I mean). I think most guys are too busy trying to compensate for the game and luck they don't have in meeting girls, and are ruining the relationships with women themselves.

I think truly that a relationship is something that naturally evolves from continuous sex, and I can't imagine another way that could actually work while benefiting the man, and even the woman. Like heck women want to be with a strong, sexy man that other women desire, that keeps them on their toes, that might walk away if they really fuck up. If she loses respect for you, it's over, the only reasons she might keep you are purely logistical, and your relationship WILL suck, just get out of it asap

 

[POB]

God, I wish I had an uncle like this to teach me the kinks lol

1. Set a few simple non-negotiable rules upfront

2. Be a genuine guy

3. Be willing to walk away

4. Give her the gift of winning you over

This is pretty much the best summary I've seen on how to deal with a LTR.
I would just add screening to this list.
Don't screen for sex, but boy, do screen HARD for LTR.