- Joined
- Oct 21, 2023
- Messages
- 382
Guys that have been following me on the forum know that I attempted the 4 approaches/ day (30 Day) challenge last year. I got amazing momentum and great results but I could not continue it. I fell sick and then lost steam. Here is the thread of what happened:
www.skilledseducer.com
I was determined to come back to this and give it a second go. And now the time has come to do just that.
However, this time around I want to make a few alterations.
I want to call it a 4 opens or compliments/ day challenge rather than "approaches".
What happened was that last time around, since it was a 4 approaches challenge, I put a lot of pressure on myself to make sure they were "full fledged approaches". Meaning opening, having the conversation and trying to go for the close in each of those 4 approaches. This led to a lot of unnecessary pressure, excuses and resistance.
I was worried about approaching the best suited ones in what I thought was a "suitable" age range, not opening a lot of girls who were walking a bit faster, girls standing at a bus stop where the bus was arriving pretty soon, not opening girls who were waiting outside stores whom I thought might most probably be waiting for their boyfriends, not approaching any girl that had a ring on her finger or trying to figure out if that was a regular ring or an engagement ring (a lot of girls wear random rings nowadays btw), not approaching women that looked older than me and a bunch of other non-sense reasons. All of this was in an attempt to "maximize my chances of hooking the girl and having a conversation."
Also I did not look at doing the challenge as a way of practicing my daygame and getting better. Instead I looked at it as a sort of "test or exam" that was going to show me how good I already am.
I can now admit freely that I was terrified of what would happen if I did the entire challenge and did not get a single number or a single date. Oh my god that would show to the entire forum, that I suck at this!!
What if I go 4-5 days in a row with all the girls instantly rejecting me??
What if I don't hook at least one girl today? What do I write in my report?? That would be shameful!
What if all the girls I get numbers of, ghost me. What a shameful thing to admit!
They may sound silly but I have to admit honestly that these were the thoughts running through my head daily while doing the challenge last year. All this took the focus away from the main parts:
- Actually going out everyday consistently.
- And "OPENING"!
Those two things are the biggest challenges at least for me and from what I have seen for most other people.
Without doing those two crucial steps, none of the other stuff applies because you are not even giving yourself a chance to apply any of the stuff that comes after.
So this time around, my updates on this journal are going to be a lot more boring and devoid of details.
If I am deliberately practicing the two main parts I mentioned above, then I literally want to remove the focus on other factors that unnecessarily lead me astray and contribute to me ultimately failing the challenge.
The only goal and benefit I want to achieve from this challenge is:
"To go out consistently and open at least 4 girls everyday"
Because at the moment, this is what I am struggling with. I have become way more consistent but I have not yet achieved "Daily Consistency".
I have a sort of weekly consistency but that is not the best as sometimes I do 6-10 approaches on 1 or 2 days and then hardly any on other days. So its still always a bit of a grind as there is always a gap of 3-4 days when I have not approached. This builds pressure to do a lot of approaches on some days to hit a weekly target and then makes me feel like I can slack off on other days.
Instead of this, I want to develop a daily discipline that makes it easier for this to become a habit. I know a couple of people who are very successful by just having a daily habit and they never did these "marathon sessions".
When I saw them, it looked effortless, they had no elaborate pre-game routine or any preparation. They would go out during lunch or after work and just walk around for half an hour or an hour and do 1-6 approaches.
That "switch" from whatever they were doing to approaching seemed effortless because by doing it daily, they had practised making that switch everyday. Of course, they lived in big cities where they could weave this into their daily routine and so do I. So I have no excuses.
So with this challenge, this is what I want to achieve. I will limit my reports to just journalling that I went out and opened 4 girls. The only other things I will journal would probably be my thoughts and experiences relating to making that switch into approaching mode daily and the challenges that I face.
So here we go. Lets try this again!
P.S. I already started this challenge yesterday and I am writing this post later so Day 1 is already done.
4 Approaches/Day (30 Day Challenge)
I need to get my priorities in order. The most basic thing that I need to do in order to get good at cold approach, is to GO OUT and PRACTICE this. Without that nothing else can happen. This ability to take "right action" and exercising willpower and making approaching a priority is the thing I...
www.skilledseducer.com
I was determined to come back to this and give it a second go. And now the time has come to do just that.
However, this time around I want to make a few alterations.
I want to call it a 4 opens or compliments/ day challenge rather than "approaches".
What happened was that last time around, since it was a 4 approaches challenge, I put a lot of pressure on myself to make sure they were "full fledged approaches". Meaning opening, having the conversation and trying to go for the close in each of those 4 approaches. This led to a lot of unnecessary pressure, excuses and resistance.
I was worried about approaching the best suited ones in what I thought was a "suitable" age range, not opening a lot of girls who were walking a bit faster, girls standing at a bus stop where the bus was arriving pretty soon, not opening girls who were waiting outside stores whom I thought might most probably be waiting for their boyfriends, not approaching any girl that had a ring on her finger or trying to figure out if that was a regular ring or an engagement ring (a lot of girls wear random rings nowadays btw), not approaching women that looked older than me and a bunch of other non-sense reasons. All of this was in an attempt to "maximize my chances of hooking the girl and having a conversation."
Also I did not look at doing the challenge as a way of practicing my daygame and getting better. Instead I looked at it as a sort of "test or exam" that was going to show me how good I already am.
I can now admit freely that I was terrified of what would happen if I did the entire challenge and did not get a single number or a single date. Oh my god that would show to the entire forum, that I suck at this!!
What if I go 4-5 days in a row with all the girls instantly rejecting me??
What if I don't hook at least one girl today? What do I write in my report?? That would be shameful!
What if all the girls I get numbers of, ghost me. What a shameful thing to admit!
They may sound silly but I have to admit honestly that these were the thoughts running through my head daily while doing the challenge last year. All this took the focus away from the main parts:
- Actually going out everyday consistently.
- And "OPENING"!
Those two things are the biggest challenges at least for me and from what I have seen for most other people.
Without doing those two crucial steps, none of the other stuff applies because you are not even giving yourself a chance to apply any of the stuff that comes after.
So this time around, my updates on this journal are going to be a lot more boring and devoid of details.
If I am deliberately practicing the two main parts I mentioned above, then I literally want to remove the focus on other factors that unnecessarily lead me astray and contribute to me ultimately failing the challenge.
The only goal and benefit I want to achieve from this challenge is:
"To go out consistently and open at least 4 girls everyday"
Because at the moment, this is what I am struggling with. I have become way more consistent but I have not yet achieved "Daily Consistency".
I have a sort of weekly consistency but that is not the best as sometimes I do 6-10 approaches on 1 or 2 days and then hardly any on other days. So its still always a bit of a grind as there is always a gap of 3-4 days when I have not approached. This builds pressure to do a lot of approaches on some days to hit a weekly target and then makes me feel like I can slack off on other days.
Instead of this, I want to develop a daily discipline that makes it easier for this to become a habit. I know a couple of people who are very successful by just having a daily habit and they never did these "marathon sessions".
When I saw them, it looked effortless, they had no elaborate pre-game routine or any preparation. They would go out during lunch or after work and just walk around for half an hour or an hour and do 1-6 approaches.
That "switch" from whatever they were doing to approaching seemed effortless because by doing it daily, they had practised making that switch everyday. Of course, they lived in big cities where they could weave this into their daily routine and so do I. So I have no excuses.
So with this challenge, this is what I want to achieve. I will limit my reports to just journalling that I went out and opened 4 girls. The only other things I will journal would probably be my thoughts and experiences relating to making that switch into approaching mode daily and the challenges that I face.
So here we go. Lets try this again!
P.S. I already started this challenge yesterday and I am writing this post later so Day 1 is already done.
