30 days in China

[WinnerWinner]

I'm in Beijing right now and I'm going to meet women every day.

At least 30-60 minutes daygame and at least 2 nights a week of nightgame.

This is my journal and I'll keep posting of my experiences. Learning from mistakes will be addressed too.

Enjoy the ride!

 

[WinnerWinner]

DAY 1 - DAYTIME

I'm living in a hotel just near the central Beijing called SanLiTun. The most international place in Beijing you can come to. Went to a modern café and got a caesar salad with chicken as lunch and a protein-rich oat smoothie. Then listened to some history of China as my homework that I got back in Copenhagen. The downside of this city is, besides the 30+ celsius here in Beijing, most Chinese women aren't f***able.

Well at least for me.. since my preference isn't Asian women I was trying to "desire" some I saw. It was hard. To invoke a genuine desire to f*** them, mostly from within.

There were two Asian girls sitting in my view and the one who faced me were in a "mode" of wanting to have sex. She had her one hand between her legs and the other reaching far out on the table. She also touched herself lightly with her fingertips over her breasts and she was talking like she was dreaming but couldn't reach the dream.

I tried to invoke a desire to f*** her and it got built up a bit. So as I was finished doing my thing at the café, I went around the area for a bit.

Out of the many girls I noticed, there were 2 I felt in my gut that I wanted to sincerely get to know and f***. One was a stunning little Chinese brunette who was sitting with some elderly weird man in Starbucks. I couldn't understand WHAT THE HELL SHE WAS SITTING THERE WITH HIM FOR?? She seemed like she didn't listen to him but had to be there with him :S

I stood in the middle of the café and looked at her and she looked back. I began to smile, like.. "yeah.." totally owning the moment and she stared for a few seconds. I stood there for 10 seconds more, deciding if I should go over and talk to her or not. I decided not to. It wasn't hard to let go though but in any case, it was a road less taken that I didn't take right there and therefor an adventure or story I passed. Gotta step it up!

Anyways the other girl was a little stunning Chinese girl with red hair and high heels. I saw her just as I had walked out of Starbucks. She was walking in my direction. I noticed her and I sensed she noticed me as I walked towards my hotel (I got great style and I'm good-looking. not that tall though) but I didn't even think about talking to her, I just had a simmering gut-feeling like, "woaw.. yeah... "

So, two possibilities that I would take, I passed on, without really knowing why. Or I know why... It is really about KNOWING what you want and HAVING A STRONG INTENT.

Tonight I'm going to check some bars and maybe some clubs out!

 

[WinnerWinner]

DAY 1 - NIGHTTIME (FRIDAY)

A night of being less fun and more relaxed

I had some small doubts about going out tonight after I had dinner with my mom and brother. Eventually I decided to do it without a strong desire. I went to a popular rooftop bar called Migah. Entrance fee was 50¥ which is around 9$. I was already not in the mood for it and now I had to pay too. The upside was that the entrance girl was a smoking blonde, beautiful in a natural way.

Lots of people and freaking 25 celsius without wind!!

So I start out very chodish. Not in a social mood yet. Fighting through the crowd. I start talking to a tall guy standing beside.

Turns out to be a DJ that plays often in the bar and also the boyfriend of the girl at the entrance. Interesting. He offered to buy me something to drink and I accepted a bit hesitant. Cool dude.

Usually I'm completely sober when I go out but I thought that it would be fine with one beer and since it was free.

Alright, on to the girls! TIME 01:00AM

I've already got some "no thank you" from two groups of girls. Very rude of them and weird. I began to be more self-amused.

Standing at my space and saying hello! and waving to some girls who walked past but were ignored, even though I was pretty loud in my voice. Made me even more self-amused.

0. SET CALIFORNIAN GIRL

I see a cute brunette with bambi eyes and a dress. I said hello to her and she's open. We talked a bit about why I'm here in Beijing and what she does here.

Turns out she's a jewelry designer and she just got off from work so she wasn't dressed to the occasion, trying to qualify. I scanned her body and qualified her a bit, "it's fine".

She wanted to find her friend and I hesitated a bit thinking about taking her number and keep meeting new girls. She said, "you can come with me if you want"
me: "you know what. give me your number, I want to have a cup of coffee with you".
her: "okay, but not tomorrow. I got some appointments"
me: "yeah me too"
her: "but sometime next week"
me: "yeah sure"

LESSON: Be more qualifying and make her chase more, for the fun of it. Risk more. Or else it isn't fun or worth it

1. SET RUSSIAN GIRLS

Two girls were taking pictures of each other. I had in mind to make some fun out of it, so I got into the picture and made a retarded face. Had a bit laugh from it.

The tall hot one was very attentive and interested in listening to what I had to say while the other was ignorant. I found out they were Russians.

I think I said, "I need a date tonight" and they were like "It's a girls night" then I said, "Well I can be on a girls night too" (or something along those lines)

Led to nothing as they excused themselves because I couldn't lead the interaction. Still a bit rusty.

LESSON: Do no try to join their party. Make your own party.

2. SET FRENCH GIRLS

Two brunettes at the bar. One hot in black and one cute in red. Talked a bit French for as much as I know of the language just for the sake of the fun. The one in black was very distracted while the one in red was attentive and friendly.

I asked them how to say I love you in French after I told them how to do that in Danish. The one in black said, you don't say that, there's no word for it. Go figure it out yourself. I ignored it and bought my creative expression in front but when I look at it now, it is kinda amusing.

I still couldn't lead the interaction. The one in black eventually walked away to their group and her friend followed just a few seconds after with a "I'm sorry, I'm going to the group" (they were with a group of german guys). I put my hand on her lower back and said "it's okay". Because it was ok. She liked that.

LESSON: It's okay. You have to warm up before the more fun interactions can happen

3. SET WEIRD HOT TALL BRUNETTE

I see this stunning brunette at the bar by herself waiting to order. I tap her and begin to talk to her. She looked away a lot and she seemed like to me, was being friendly but rude at the same time. It was very weird. Like she was actively trying to not have chemistry with me.

So I decided to let this one go and not pursue it further (re-approach her) since I do not like no chemistry and none fun girls even if they are smoking hot.

LESSON: I saw her later standing with her hot friends in a circle and she noticed me. I had a gut-feeling that she wanted me to talk to her. To push it further, just go in to sets with hot girls without chemistry and see what might happen for the sake of fun and reference.

4. SET RE-APPROACH ON 2 FRENCH GIRLS

I saw them again at the bar talking to each other and I walked over. "Hello again. It's me again! Annoying me!"

Interestingly enough, this time the hot one in black was very open while the one in red was very distracted. (the one in red had decided to try to sleep with one of the german guys)

Talked some gibberish but was still not able to self-amuse myself fully without their feedback. Couldn't lead the interaction still.

Eventually they turned to face each other and got their drinks and I walked away.

LESSON: Keep talking and make them invest or give compliance to your presence by screening instead of only expressing and entertaining

5. SET TWO GERMAN BLONDES, JUST ARRIVED

Two minutes after I walked away from the French girls I saw these two blondes. One of them was a real stunner. I tapped her shoulder as they were walking past me and she stopped, "you are SO cute, I had to meet you"

She liked it and giggled.

Pulled her in a bit as we shook hands but she stood her ground, she was like, "We are going to get some drinks!"

"just two minutes!" taking her hand and pulling her in. Arm around her shoulder, "you are my girlfriend for tonight"

Giggles but her friend dragged her and she was also like, "We gotta get our drinks! We'll talk later!" as our hands disconnected.

LESSON: It was executed very well, like a natural. To push it further, go more sexual immediately so she stops thinking about anything. Do not be afraid to lose her.

6. SET RE-APPROACH TWO FRENCH GIRLS

THE TIME WAS NOW 02:20 AND I DECIDED TO GO HOME IN MINUTES, TO WAKE UP EARLY TOMORROW

This time the hot French girl in black was with a new, just arrived friend. I went over and said, how are you my sweetheart. Everything out of my mouth to her was with emotion. I engaged both of them. As I stood still for a while I told her that I'm actually going now.

her: "well.. hope Beijing is treating you well"

me: "actually.. what's your name again? (being very physical in a friendly way)

her: "xyz"

me: "xyz, what's your number, I want to have a cup of coffee with you"

her: (nah ah) "I don't give my number out to anybody..."

her: "I have a boyfriend" (meanwhile her friend was totally hating this moment and looking ignorant)

me: "that's okay"

her: (surprised expression)

me: "I'm not looking for a girlfriend either"

her: (like her mind reversed or something)

me: "do you have email?"

her: "yeah"

Her putting her email in my phone. To engage the friend I asked her, "do you think she'll respond?" actually I often said to her friend how lovely she is etc. while she just ignored me.

her friend: "you don't even had her name? have you just met her?"

me: "no I've met her three times already"

her friend: "but you can't remember her name"

I ignored it. I said goodbye to the french girl with hug and a kiss on each cheek and then I wanted to do the same with her friend but she avoided and me and my girl looked at each other with an odd expression like, weird...

LESSON: A girls resistance is only to be broken by a vibe of non-neediness, persistency and the right choice of words. Re-approaching same girls also makes you seem like a person they know and they are easier to open up

I DECIDED TO FIND THE STUNNING BLONDE AND GET HER NUMBER BEFORE I WOULD LEAVE

7. SET TALL FRENCH GIRL

In the middle of the crowd of steaming air I noticed a tall brunette girl by herself. I tapped her shoulder and said, "you are tall!" and she's like, "I know! I cannot help it! I also have high heels on".

I asked where she's from, "France"
She asked where I was from, "Heaven... yeah it's a beautiful place.."

her: "I have to get to the bathroom"

She was friendly. The interaction wasn't that fun.

LESSON: Sometimes it's just more efficient to have a normal conversation when the girl is open and not challenging.


8. SET RE-APPROACH TWO BLONDE GIRLS

I was looking for them for a few minutes. I saw them surrounded by people at the bar, waiting for their drinks.

So I waited for the right timing. They eventually took a seat and I joined them.

stunner: "ohh hey! it's you again"

me: "what's up girls. I'm actually going soon"

we talked a bit about why we were here in Beijing and where we were from. The stunner was German. EVERYBODY WAS GERMAN lol.

Her friend made fun of being a stripper and not telling me what they were doing there.
That was after I had told them my truth, where I was from, so I changed it to, "actually I just go a stripper-job yesterday night. I'm going to work tomorrow night"

her friend, "so we got many things in common!"

me, "yeah, don't you hate when people touch you while you are working on the scene?"

the stunner interrupted, "no seriously where are you from?" (I've already said that but it seems like she needs to be baited to want to sincerely know that)

me, "Copenhagen"

her, "okay" in a blasé

she looked attentive now.

then she noticed some of her Chinese friends. So they had their girl greetings and it was time to go. Her friends were seated besides her now.

me, "I have to go"

her, "Really? Ohh well.. hope you enjoy Beijing"

me, "I want to see you again"

her, "I'm right here"

me, "I have to go, I have to get up early tomorrow"

me, "Actually give me your number, I want to have a cup of coffee with you"

her, "Okay."

Finding her phone and giving her number.

me, "You can't remember you number?"

her, "Yeah.. I know.. it's because of all the fun"

me, "I like that"

Gave all the three of them a high-five before I left.

She was a real stunner. Seemed like a girl who didn't take much responsibility of her "fun" actions at all.

LESSON: Push it more maybe. Go for the lay even though odds were against you

 

[Humay]

I'll be going China next week for 30 days, so i'll be following this. Good luck!

(I assume this website's not blocked then?)

 

[WinnerWinner]

DAY 2 - DAYTIME

Today I slept for a long time. I literally passed out after some breakfast at 8AM because of late tired eyes from yesterday nights sleep at 4AM. Woke up around 5PM and my mood was definitely not on the right track.

Me and my brother went to accompany my mother at some fancy shopping mall. At the mall I saw two Chinese stunners in really fantastic low-cut dresses and I didn't do anything. It was not until I thought back of their dresses and the way they radiated feminine beauty that I regretted not meeting them.

It started to piss rain when we came back to our hotel. I saw this cute blonde in the lobby. Her hair was fixed in a way like a half flower-crown. I didn't do anything. Then I looked back at the reception and she was gone.

I walked outside to see she was standing under some cover for the rain. I walked over to her, "excuse me. hi, I just thought you were really cute so I had to meet you. I'm James"

We talked for about 5 mins. She was German, had an apartment in the hotel and had a single big bed. She has lived in Beijing for 2 weeks now, and she was going to meet up with her friend.

Since I just came home and wanted to take a bath before I went out, I told her so. So I grabbed her number and hugged her. "you can text me later" she said.

It's ridicules how these opportunities comes when you do not care much of the feeling of desire to hook up with a girl before you go over to her.
It's like throwing yourself into the water, without knowing what kind of water it is or what is in the water.

LESSON: To push it further, next time try to pull the girl to her apartment. She was clearly not in a hurry to get to her friend.

 

[WinnerWinner]

DAY 2 - NIGHTGAME

This night was a rough night. Many things didn't work out and my intent was not very high. Though there were lessons and references.
I would really appreciate feedback, critique or thoughts! I love that kind of stuff and it may also put some things in perspective!

In this post I describe in as many details as I remember how my encounters with the German Blonde girl went.

I texted the german blonde I met at my hotel a hour later, "Hey xyz, hope you reached your friend safely from the rain ;-) I'm waiting to go out. Shit, this rain is never going to stop! Where are you going?"

As I was waiting for the rain to stop, I fell asleep. The time was 11:30PM.

When I woke up it was 1AM and the german blonde had just texted me,

her: "Where are u? I am at a bar in Sanlitun",
her: "Lets meet"

I replied half an hour later,

me: "I'm soon at Sanlitun let's meet! Where are you now?

15 minutes later

me: "I'm at Nali Patio now! Where are you?

I went to the same bar as yesterday night, except this time I went to their indoor bar, since the rain had closed the rooftop bar.

Met two groups of girls there. I'll come back to all the sets I met after describing the events with the blonde german girl.

her: "At kokomo! It is a rooftop bar."

me: "Where's that?"

me: "Found it now I just need to find out how you get up there!

her: "Can't describe! Just ask somebody?

her: Perfect

her: "We are at the dancefloor"

After 10 minutes I found the entrance and went up to the bar. Looked around for 1 minute got a text from her:

her: "Hej where are u?"

me: "On the roof"

I noticed her with her friend but began to talk to a German brunette instead. Thinking that I would not come on her terms but rather I came because I want to see what's up and that it's cool that she's there too.

So after a few minutes of some self-amusing with the German brunette I saw the blonde girl on the way downstairs with her friend.

I excused myself from the brunette and went over to the blonde.

She was escorting her friend which was very sad because a guy that she's seeing was flirting with other girls.
She began to cry and the blonde helped her out.

I stood and waited for 3-5 minutes and then her friend left.

We greeted with a hug and I took her hand and led the way through the empty bar then she led the way to the roof and said,

her: "let's go and meet my friends"

me: "your friends?"

her: expression of, yeah sort of

me: "alright, lets meet your friends"

It was a group of 3 guys and 1 girl. She introduces me to the Chinese girl in the group.

I greet her and one of the guys with glasses start talking to the blonde. I just stood there and tried to feel and enjoy the vibe. (The Chinese girl eventually walked away and sat at a chair a bit away from the group) I interrupt after a while and greet the guy. Then the blonde goes past us and walk over to another guy from the group sitting with a hat on who hasn't said anything

So I noticed pretty quickly that I was just a piece of puzzle to her. She was onto this guy with the hat.

After a while when the guy ignored the blonde she came to me and said, "

her: "you need to get a drink"

me: "why?"

her: "blablabla"

me: interrupting her "I don't drink"

her: "no?"

me: "only on special occasions

her: "so this is not a special occasion?"

me: "no, I only drink on big events, like new years or good friends birthdays.. maybe at your birthday"

her: laughing and walked back to the guy with the hat.

I removed myself from the group and began meeting girls. (I'll come back to the sets I met)

On my way home 4AM I saw the blonde german girl standing with one of the guys from the group with glasses.

I said hello to them and she was like

her: "ohh hey! are you going back to your hotel?"

me: "yes"

her: "okay I'll come with you"

The guy with the glasses was pretty weird, trying to be seductive and cool but to me it came off as creepy and yeah.. really weird. The only thing that backed him up was him leaning back against a light-pole and probably the mindset of the girl that she wants to find some friends in Beijing since she is staying there for 6 months and had just arrived 2 weeks ago.

This is a 7 minutes walk to our hotel. So I walked in front and she followed. She began to talk about being afraid to cross the traffic.

We did some smalltalk.

After 2 minutes I took her hand and she replied and took mine. There was a bench so I said, "let's sit here for while"

I look down and it's wet, so I say "ahh fuck it.. it's wet".

Still holding hands, I stopped her and went in to kiss her. She looked at me and then was like "noo".

her: "I got a boyfriend"

me: "okay, I don't look for a girlfriend"

she didn't know how to respond to that

As we walk the tension was high. I diffuse the tension by some more smalltalk and joking to make her comfortable since it's very dark and almost no people on the streets. Silence again and she begins to ask me, "so what do you do back in Copenhagen?"

A bit of smalltalk. She said,
her: "so you are going back to your hotel room now where your mom is?"

me: "yep" rolling my eyes and looking like it's a burden

I ask her what she's doing tomorrow, she doesn't know, maybe some fitness. Asks me what my plans are, I don't know either, probably go to some cafés and stuff.

her: "well text me to hang out if you want"

I took it as a sign of interest.

Then I went in for the kiss again but she says no again but not in a serious way, so I saw it much like token resistance. (Everything I did was not in a serious manner)

me: "I don't understand why"

her: "because I got a boyfriend"

me: "and I told you I'm not looking for a girlfriend"

We walked and she walked with a faster pace than before. There were silence as we walked and she says, "

her: "there are so many girls you can kiss out there. you are a good-looking guy"

me: "I know"

her: "you know.." and looks at me a bit like "you are arrogant"

me: "yeah I've heard it a lot of times"

me: "there's no reason not to kiss me then"

and went in to kiss again.

but she avoided and said, "no" but not in a serious tone.

So I persisted a bit with,

"you make me sad! come here and give me a kiss" but to no help. The frame was set and I didn't know how to change that around. I tried to rely on persistency.

We were now entering our hotel and I tried one last time to kiss but no.

We enter the lobby, I tell her as I walk towards my side of the hotel,
me: "I'm going sad to bed and you are break my heart"

her: "sleep tight"

LESSON: Do not do anything on the girls terms. It makes you seem like a lower value guy.


I'll write a post about the sets I did this night when I have time tomorrow

 

[WinnerWinner]

Here's the sets from Saturday night:

At the first high-end bar before I went to the rooftop bar - THE TIME WAS 1:30AM

1. SET TWO WOMEN IN THEIR 30'S

There weren't many people in the bar. As I walked in and around the bar I saw two women sitting with wine glasses.

One blonde and one brunette. The blonde was very open and tried to qualify herself right from the get-go. As the brunette noticed this, she became more open and interrupted by asking questions.

It was a warmup set and I wasn't even in the mood to fuck. I removed myself after the interaction went stall.
( I met the brunette downstairs when I was looking for the rooftop bar. I said excuse me and saw it was her so I'm like heey! She looks at me, turn around and just walked away)

LESSON: take more risks for the sake of practice, even though you didn't feel like fucking. To push it further stay longer in the set and try to pull the blonde. Just for the reference...

2. SET INTERRUPTING 2 SALES WOMEN

1 minute after I saw a group of 2 younger girls. I went straight in. I was screening without me being conscious of it. First the blonde was most attentive, then the brunette.

The blonde said at a point that they were talking but I ignored it and kept talking.

They began to agree with my opinions but I still didn't feel like fucking. I didn't want to be a social burden so I removed myself and left the bar to search for the rooftop bar.

LESSON: Do not set expectations on what will happen with you and a girl that wants to meet in a bar with her friend(s). Just take whatever opportunities may present in the moment.

3. SET SHORT HAIRED GERMAN BRUNETTE

I found the rooftop bar and after looking around after the blonde for 1 minute, I saw a brunette and just began talking to her.

She was a bit closed in the beginning but as I put my personality out there she became very attentive and asked a lot of questions.

Had some great fun and self-amusement. I talked with her for 5 minutes and then I noticed the German blonde walking downstairs with her friend, so I excused myself and went down.

LESSON: Do not go after a girl that has asked you to meet at a bar, instead, let her notice you talking to other girls and let her interrupt to show if she really likes you. You aren't obligated to anything!

4. SET RE-APPROACH GERMAN BRUNETTE

I quickly looked around to see who would be interesting to talk to (after I removed myself from the group the German blonde introduced me to) and the short-haired brunette just happened to stand near me with two friends.

So I joined in and talked with her. I didn't feel sexual attraction to this girl though so I greeted her two friends. They seemed very blasé to me but were also very quiet. I tried to be socially normal in that situation so I didn't go for her friend which I was more sexually attracted to.

The brunette was like "take me" but I just couldn't do it! Eventually I left the group.

LESSON: Go for her hotter friend next time or leave and come back and talk with her friend.
Else, be less judgmental, just push the moment as far as you can. It gives you arousal to make out with a girl and even then, if you do not notice a hotter girl, try to pull her. It doesn't mean you have to fuck her...

5. SET RANDOM RUSSIAN AND BEGIAN WOMEN

THE TIME WAS NOW 3:30AM and there were even less attractive girls now. I wanted to not stay out of set, so I went over to two girls at a table, a bit away from the crowd.

I came in with little intention and the Russian became immediately distracted but the Belgian found it interesting basically because she had no choice.

Anyways the interaction quickly became stall because there wasn't any chemistry, so I left.

LESSON: Take more risks, like physicality or say edgy things and do stupid shit in order to not have a boring interaction. See where it leads to. You don't have chemistry anyways.

6. SET FUN 2 SPANISH GIRLS

I was standing in an elevated spot near the dancefloor and was thinking how cool it was that I could really enjoy and move to the music completely sober.
Suddenly this big guy stands beside me and intrude my space a bit. I stand my ground and then he signals me one of his newly bought beers.

me: "I don't drink"
he turns then he offer me his other beer, apparently he had just taken a sip of he former one.
me: "I don't drink"

He's like ohh.. And went away after a bit..

I walk around the bar one more time before leaving. I stand near the entrance and I see two cute Russian girls who had just arrived but I there were also two petite Spanish brunettes just near me.

me: "hello"
them: "hello"
me: "you are Germans"
them: "no Spanish"
me: "how do you say, come here dog in Spanish?"

They laughed/giggled a bit and told me how. Then the hotter one said that you do not say that to girls. They will think it is rude.

It was cute and I teased her a bit with it. I got more physical with her and she was into it but her friend dragged her away quickly.

LESSON: Be more leading in the moment of amping up he physicality and isolate her fast before her friend can drag her away. Or re-approach the girl and then drag her away!

7. SET 2 CUTE RUSSIAN GIRLS

Right after I went over to the Russian girls.

me: "hello!"
her: "hi.."
me: "why are you looking at me like this is weird?"
her: "sorry my English isn't very good"

I then talked to the hot one, she had a grasshopper figure in a rose form.

I commented on the grasshopper and said what kind of gift is that..

I tried to stay in the set for as long as I could. The interaction had went stall. Then I see the the hot one look over my shoulder smiling very inviting and I notice a tall blonde guy. It was he who gave her the grasshopper. I stood my ground. He said something but couldn't get to them because of me. Eventually he left.

The hot one began to be very blasé and moved a bit away from me and looked away. Her friend was still friendly but the energy was just gone, so after a while I excused myself and they looked happy at me when I did that.

Just a few minutes later I see the hot girl dance sexually with the tall guy and her friend with another tall guy. When I saw that, I thought "motherfucker.. how can some guys have it so easy.." another reason why building this skill-set is great.

LESSON: The time was around 4:00AM - I was thinking in my head, in the moment if I would fuck the hot Russian girl while I was talking to her.
Yes I would but there weren't much chemistry since I had to do all the talking.
They were both interested in the beginning but as I revealed many things about myself while at the same time, having a weak intention, they lost interest.

That was the last set of the night and I headed back to my hotel where I met the blonde German girl again...

Key note: intention and how you approach is crucial to how an interaction will go.. Also the later in the night, the more strong intention you can go in with without surprising the girl too much..

Main curiosity: How do you develop strong intent? How can it be few rare nights you feel very strong intent and not entertaining at all.. like a centered caveman and other nights your intent is weak but you have more fun with more girls?

 

[WinnerWinner]

DAY 3 & 4 - DAYTIME

It has been raining these past 2 days and I've stayed in my hotel most of the time. Have slept a lot which I despise since too much sleep makes you tired and unproductive.

On the positive end, I've begun doing 20 minutes of meditation, again, every night before going to bed. Also I've started reading out loud for 1 hour every day, putting as much passion and effort in it, to train my voice and also just better understanding of the language (amazing exercise!)…

I haven't even thought about trying to talk to the Chinese women here since most of them have poor english. It's just an excuse because I haven't even tried. Because of the habit of not talking to them, the very few hot ones I notice are also hard to just walk over and talk to.

I'm thinking that I should be less judgmental and just talk with whatever woman I happen to bump into. To get in the habit of talking to girls in the day.


DAY 5 - DAYTIME

It has been raining the whole day and it's still raining. It's 4:30PM right now and I've decided to go out just after this post to go shopping a new pair of stylish black shoes and a new wallet.

My intention is to use 30 minutes of the time when I'm out to actively meet women. Already missed 2 days. Gotta step it up!

 

[WinnerWinner]

Follow up... of DAY 5 - DAYTIME

So my feel of Chinese women were true. They are really bad at english and I actually also knew that from my 3 cousins...

I went all around Sanlitun Village but couldn't find what I was looking for. Then I remembered a great mall in the middle of the Villages, so I went there. You can haggle about the price there

It was an interesting experience, because if you bid too low you'll just be seen as disrespectful and look like a fool. It was actually uncomfortable to haggle but it saved me money and gave me reference. How interesting it is, the way to haggle.

You are the CEO of a company and the buyer and you got to remember that, if not.. it's easy to throw away money you could have saved.

Some of the same principles used in game:
- buyer, seller dynamic
- empathy - you got to be considerate of the seller


On to meeting women:
There was one pretty Chinese girl working in an Asian version of Victoria Secret lingerie. I walked past the store 4 times! 1.st time I hesitated and didn't walk in the store even though she was the only one there. The other times, there were colleagues/the manager or customers. So the 4.th time I thought about some strong motivation I could give to myself. It was not about the girl anymore.. it was about DEATH.. If I did not talk to her, I would DIE. So I said to myself "GUN TO YOUR HEAD" and right after I walked in the store, despite the fact that she was helping out two customers.

I walked straight over to her and said, "Hi.. you look very beautiful!" she looked at me then down like being submissive while trying to understand what I was saying mixed with confusion. After I said it, I stood for 1-2 seconds and left. Somewhere in my body it felt like the first time I cold-approached a girl and gave her a compliment (which was also in China) but the nervousness was dampened a lot and I actually only felt very little of it. My subconscious thought it was weird what I did, so I quickly removed myself but at least I did what I needed to do.

As far as meeting women outside stores, I didn't approach any. I did though enjoy the presence of some women after I'd been standing my ground at an open space on the street for a while.

Key notes: Being at the hotel, isolated for 2 days and going out afternoon is a rough state of mind to be in, if you have nothing but yourself to rely on meeting women you do not know. NOTICED: Waking up early and going out since at least noon, while having enjoyed the presence of nature or women, I'll naturally have more desire and easier time to meet women throughout the day.

 

[WinnerWinner]

DAY 6 - DAYTIME

Today I took my brother and went to an improv class for the first time in my life and his. It was an interesting experience. (I'm only here in Beijing few days more.. I can't believe there's none improv classes in Copenhagen...)

It was really fun and you get out of your comfort zone a lot. The topics were body-language and high/low status. Very interesting and relating things with being great with women.

I learned a lot like and man.. there's a lot of things I related to:

we looked upon a lot of non-verbals:

- Who's got the most status?
- Who reacts more to the other?

It was the person who tried or reacted the most who came off as lower status, so you can't really fake it.

An example of an exercise:

two persons,
first person: hi
second person: hi
first person: have you been waiting long time?

1. two persons had to show the crowd that they were the highest status of those two
2. the same but with lowest status

I learned something very interesting: the person who have had most practice (certain kind of body-langauge as default) with certain kind of status had the easiest time to project that to the crowd, while the ones who had less "practice" with that kind of status had a hard time to do it so it looked more real than the other person.

For example,

We were doing the low status, even though I tried to be as low status I could the person that was naturally low status in his body-language was tied with me (and he didn't even do much).
Another thing I could relate to was, if you already are high-status and you try to convey it more than the other person, you'll become lower status.

And one important thing I noticed more (a bit mixed thoughts with this observation) was: Often times the two persons were tied of either low or high status. My thoughts are that it was because none of the two tried to influence the other but rather tried to do their own act of high or low status (it is very little you get off from only hi and have you been waiting long).

So another key-point: Influence the other persons status (it's harder than you think, try influence a high-status person to a lower status). You have to genuinely be confident and grounded in order to do that for high-status and not seem reaction seeking too.

I can recommend everyone to take improv classes. It's a great way to develop social intuition.

 

[WinnerWinner]

DAY 7 - NOTES

Being a high value guy you have lots of responsibilities.
- You have to be extra in-tune with other peoples mood around you
- You have to be the one who leads the interaction forward
- You have to maintain an attitude of not showing off that you are of higher value but be empathic with people while leading

I've realized something. I'm much more high-value than I think I am. It's like I'm not being 100% sure that I am high-value but I know I'm pretty close. I just need to own it fully.

That's the reason why my interactions goes as they go because I'm still balancing around without a cement-like foundation. I've come to the point where I can go in an interaction and demand attention and look confident but I'm still having some counter-beliefs because of my value-system.

So how do I develop the last bits?

1. One option would be to lock myself away from society and all kinds of distractions for a week or two and start rebuilding my own value systems, purely from my own thinking and not from societies expectations and distractions.

2. Another option which is a longer route, is to go through my daily life and be very open-minded and curious, and start practicing one skill-set for a month or so then another kind of skill-set etc.

- Thinking what's important and who I want to be EVERY DAY
- Meditate EVERY NIGHT

Option 2 is the only option that suits me right now since I'm traveling around China!

 

[Ironjames]

Its been nice reading your journal, keep up the good work! Also on the meditating part it has helped me a lot whenever i do anything that i mediate during the thing i am doing so i stay calm collected and i know what to do. For example : When i play tennis angry, well when i try to play tennis when i am angry. I usually over hit, hit my serves out, and i am incredibly stiff throughout the game. However when i take slow deep breaths when i am serving and playing its like everything becomes clear, i can place the ball where ever i want on the court and hit the majority of my serves in.

 

[WinnerWinner]

Some thoughts

Everything we want is in the pool...

The pool is where the magic is. Dip your toes in and you'll get nowhere. Jump in and you'll face reality...

Our enemy is our thinking. Though thinking is really good for logical things, like math or solving puzzles but when it comes to people, it is DYNAMIC. You can't reason with what is flowing. To reason is to kill the magic...

What can I say.. our society is built in this way so that we are thinking logical all day long...

So start creating the magic out of nothing, do not try but be!

The first couple of times you create mud
Then you learn that mud has its own role, so you create grass
Then you discover that grass has it's own role too, so you create animals
Then you finally discover that all these things you've created cannot live without Sun, Water and Air

Now you understand. Now you've gotten a closer look at the truth.. at reality...

 

[WinnerWinner]

DAY 8 & 9 & 10

I used my time on other things during these past days and which I really am not pleased with in regards of the women area. I have zero momentum at the moment.

So what happened? I'm living in the same hotel room as my mother and brother. I also am going out and eating dinner with them because I kinda "have to". They have no idea how my kind of lifestyle looks like and + they do not understand what it is like. I have to lead them all the time.. unless they finally can think of something to do themselves...

It's just an excuse though. I guess I've become more comfortable and am focusing on being more "good" to myself than I did the previous year. The previous year I would go out very often, both in the day and in the night, by myself. Though I wasn't comfortable doing it at all, I still did because I had faith in something. The results weren't very great either and I wasted some money sometimes but learned my lessons from them.

This year I feel much more mature and grounded.

So since I've had a laser correction last month, I've taken things slower. My eyes are very sensitive to bright lights.

I'm using my time every day to increase the "passive" skills of a ladies man like,

- Body-language correction and eye-contact
- Whenever I see an opportunity, going up close to girls, (like I'm going to talk to them) and then just walk past to get comfortable of walking over to them
- Reading out loud and practicing my voice
- Doing my studies
- Meditate

I've been focused on these things only lately and it has made me feeling more "okay" with what I'm using my time on. (instead of being annoyed that I'm hanging with my mother and brother, and wasting my time instead of bettering myself)

Usually I'm very unconscious of what's going on in interactions with women. The body language part I have a good awareness over but what we were saying to each other and how it was being said, I wasn't really aware of.
I've always just felt how the vibe is and I disliked a bad vibe and would remove myself seconds after.

So.. the rest of the 30 days, I'll be focusing on conversation, push-pull and rapport with whomever I encounter!

 

[WinnerWinner]

DAY 11 – DAYTIME - 3 interesting encounters with 3 different girls


I was very troubled by my mother and brother today. So I have decided that I will spend less time with them because their influence in my life is not good for me (lots of negativity and useless talk about things that doesn’t matter).
Today I spent a lot of time in a bookstore café (love these places!) and did my studies and read a lot. After I was finished with "The Talent Code" (I recommend a lot for self-improvement) I've begun reading "Casanova - The Story of My Life".


Girl 1 – Cute French Blonde

A bit after beginning my studies, there were 2 girls I noticed that I could talk to. They weren’t the hottest girls and I’ve changed my mindset to, once again, “just looking to see who she is as a person and socializing”.
Mostly because you know the mood you are in.. when you haven't socialized for quite some time.. you become rusty, and it becomes hard to just do it?

That’s exactly how I felt. The longer it took me to do it, the harder it got. In the end, I was like.. "this is ridicules! I'm going to do it anyway now, just for the sake of giving myself a lesson that I should not hesitate or I will with higher percentage get a bad rejection – I kind of hoped that it would go as ridicules as I felt".

After 2 hours I had finished my studies. I were considering for 10 minutes before I finally decided.

So eventually I went over to the blonde girl. Feeling very uneasy. She was the one who seemed more nervous than me, which fortunately with my former experience and my grounding, did not made me more nervous. I was able to repress the unease and act chill.

I just told her what I was thinking as I took the free seat opposite her, “Hi.. this is ridicules. I was bored and I’ve been wanting to talk to you for a while... so hi”

She was a bit nervous and friendly. We talked for while, she was French, leaving for Shanghai tomorrow.

Then after 3 minutes I told her that I’m actually leaving soon and then she said, “Me too” and she just stood up, which surprised me because I didn’t mean “now”.

So she said goodbye to her friends and looked at me a bit lingering and said goodbye to me after…
First after the incident, I understood that she wanted to leave with me in a manner of, we both had to leave, casual. A perfect opportunity to create an instant-date but my brain got stuck in the moment.

Another hard lesson learned.


Girl 2 – Chinese, lobby-waiting girl

When I came back to my hotel-room my brother and mother was sleeping. Nice. So I took my apple and went down to read and study more about social dynamics and female psychology.

Down at the lobby all the tables were occupied. I walked straight to a table in front of me, where an ok looking Chinese girl were seated and asked,

me: hi can I sit here?
her: yes

I sit down and open my laptop.

me: so.. what are you doing here?
(she was a bit nervous)
her: I’m waiting for my friend
me: ohh really.. have you been waiting long?
her: about 20 minutes or so
me: interesting (looking at my laptop) I would be so angry if my friend were letting me wait for 20 minutes or more!
her: yeah I know.. (smiling)
her: are you going to do something on your laptop? Am I interrupting you?
me: nono, it’s okay

I did some teasing (which I usually overdo but I’ve become much more conscious of it and now it’s much more controlled) and let her guess some stuff about me.

It was interesting to see the cultural difference from this girl compared to western girls.

Got to practice my conversational skills and got into rapport. Exactly what I wanted to practice. She asked me a lot of questions and I caught myself not to talk too much about myself so I turned it around and asked about her.

her: I can teach you Chinese maybe?
me: sure.. that would be fun.. but how would you do that?
her: do you got ‘we chat’?
me: yeah, sure

she added me since my phone was recharging upstairs.

Eventually her friend came and we bid farewell.


Girl 3 – The former German Blonde I screwed it with

After the Chinese girl left I resumed reading about making rapport and stuff like what I’ve just been doing with the girl lol.

5 minutes after the Blonde German comes into the hotel and walk towards me to her apartment. I notice her and I sensed she tried to avoid me, then I looked up and we hit eye-contact, “hi” she stopped and came over to me.

her: you are still here
me: yeah, I’m staying longer than I thought.. probably one week more.
her: ohh okay
me: so how’s it going? what have you been up to?
her: I just finished work.
me: ahh, I see (she had a blazer and white shirt on) so what are up to?
her: I'm going up to my room to my friend. Going to see if she is still sleeping. Then we are probably going out to and eat, with some more friends. You can join if you want.

(looking back on it now, she's the kind of girl, who want to seem like
having many friends)

me: thank you for the invite, that's sweet of you.
her: so do you want to come?
me: (looking troubled and thoughtful. after 5 seconds) sure. That would be fun. Just to see what's going to happen. Are you going, now?
her: I don't know.. probably in half an hour or so.. I will write you.
me: yeah text me where you are going or when you leave.
her: okay (looking blasé) see you.

It has been over 1 hour now and she haven't texted me. Going out with my brother to get something to eat now in lovely Beijing. I'm starving!

 

[WinnerWinner]

DAY 12 - DAYTIME - Reflection & social intuition and awareness


I notice some interesting things when I'm out. My mother wanted to accompany me with my studies and is kind of clingy to me, which sucks because I'm not meeting any girls when she's with me but.. I do love her.

At the bookstore there were a group of 3 people, 2 girls, 1 guy sitting across us. The sub-communication the blonde and I exchanged was interesting. She wasn't very confident but she definitely spoke the language and was not afraid to speak it when opportunities arose.

When me and my mother was waiting for my brother outside Starbucks, I noticed a western guy approach 3 Chinese women almost right in front of me.

He lacked social skills and his body-language became weak after the initial approach. He leaned in with his ear for example, which signals "I'm not enough".
Kudos for him having balls to do it though.

One of the girls whispered something to the other one, who was not talking to the guy and looked at me while I observed this scenario.

It was very interesting to see because I've been that guy! and how much it has changed, where now the girls often become nervous or very attentive when I approach rather than, "ohh.. just a harmless boy".

It's pretty much the same kind of thing as back when I was practicing kung-fu. I remember when I had been training for 2-3 years and I had moments where I thought "it's all the same… what's next?"

Then not many sessions after, we had a mixed session with the beginners and sparred with them and I noticed the HUGE difference. I could play with them and I was very much in control of the outcome.

It's difficult to notice your own change because you play the game by the level you are at (if you improve every day) to see a beginner is like a nostalgic, fun flashback of yourself...

 

[WinnerWinner]

DAY 13 - DAYTIME - Improv & mass passive attraction


(I've been fine-tuning my body-language lately and it has showed great effect)
After some kickass workout this morning, I felt extremely chill. Later I went to the bookstore and interesting enough, I was extremely focused in whatever I was doing. I remembered much more of what I read and listened to. Almost no distractions could enter my attention.

My senses were heightened.. what a great state to be in!

Got reminded by Giacomo Casanova of being aware of all my senses all the time. "Life is about living, to experience with all of your senses to the utmost".

In the middle of my studies the Chinese girl, who was supposed to come with me to improv tonight, declined with,

her: Hey James, I can not go with u today
(2 hours later)
me: xyz! No problem. I'm so tired today! Not sure why.. but I gonna go anyway. I can sleep when I'm dead. How's your job treating you?
(1 hour later)
her: I have to over work today (joyful smiley)

Anyways, after I finished at the bookstore I went to the improv class for my second time.
When people were waiting for it to begin, this tall Chinese dude comes over to me and ask me something in Chinese.

me: yeah, this is the improv

He was a friendly tall (2 meters) guy. His first time at improv.

(I have no freaking idea why, except that they usually are very friendly.. but I always make friends with tall guys and I'm only 1.70m)

This times improv there were a lot of imagination exercises and fast thinking.

- Say a word and the person next to you say another word, associated with it. I.e. apple.. pear… green.. trees… birds.. sky… blue etc..

- Giving an invisible gift to the person next to you (in whatever way you can imagine) and the person would say, "ohh thank you this is a [insert thing]..."

- Fun competitive fast reaction game: you stand against another person and there's a judge asking a question i.e. "what's your favorite color?" or "where in the world do you want to go the most?" or "who do you want to kiss in the morning?"

The answer has to be logical but it doesn't matter if you answer red or black, China or Holland, me or my girlfriend. After the answer you say bam bam! and then the person who's slowest dies.

A very interesting exercise related to game… Thinking fast but doesn't matter what you say as long as you say something related to it and you cannot be affected by the opponents initiative because you'll get shoved in your head…


After the improv there were a standup comedy show
I went up to the bar to get a ginger ale, with the tall guy and we began to talk to 3 interesting americans, who also joined the improv class, late. 1 were black, big and fun, 1 were hot, small and asian, 1 were old, experienced and friendly.

So we had our little exchanges of conversation with them and then I told the tall dude that we should take these two seats and watch the show.

After 5 mins, the 3 americans came and were standing behind us to see the show. The little, hot, asian told the tall guy to give her his seat because he's so tall and blablabla and the black guy also said some weak stuff…
She wanted to sit beside me.. aww… but it was quite rude to try to push the tall friendly guy away. He even looked at me for support.

I didn't do anything but was completely aware of what was happening. It is my experience that tells me to let the weaker learn to manage themselves, to let them not to look for others to help them in their own small decision-makings. So they can be strong themselves and not rely on others.

The tall guy was about to move in the beginning but as nothing decisive happened the girl eventually said, "I was just kidding…"

Anyways, the show started and the cute, brunette hostess in hotpants gave me intense eye-contact every time she was on stage.

The show had a few fun comedians and continued for over an hour. I had some great laughs. The time was around midnight.
I got hungry and tired in the end, so I stood up, surrounded by people, and walked towards the exit. In my pathway this blonde stared at me with wide eyes while I walked towards her direction.

I got something to eat back at the hotel restaurant. I saw 3 gorgeous, stylish girls sitting with a 1588¥ big champagne. They were sitting outside, probably celebrating something. "Interesting" I thought.

Eventually a 30's-40's guy sat with them and I figured that he must have been their sugar-daddy. I had weak thoughts about approaching them.

When I went up to pay I look back, over my shoulders and hit eye-contact with one of the gorgeous girls who just walked in. It was like sex when we looked at each other that moment.

I was walking behind them as we were walking out of the restaurant. They were tall.. probably models. She was quite drunk though and I let a possible opportunity slip, once again.

It's time for more spontaneous adventures……………..

 

[WinnerWinner]

My 30 day mission has gone to the dirts.

Traveling around China to places without wifi and I've got better things to use my time on at some of these places.

I'll probably start a challenge again when I'm back home for being too occupied while traveling...