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48 Laws of Power-Law 20 Revisited (DO NOT COMMIT)

POB

Chieftan
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tribal-elder
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Here's a nice piece of Law 20 that I've found in the classic 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene:

"Since power depends greatly on appearances, you must leam the tricks that will enhance your image. Refusing to commit to a person or group is
one of these.

When you hold yourself back, you incur not anger but a kind of respect. You instantly seem powerful because you make yourself ungraspable, rather than succumbing to the group, or to the relationship, as most people do.

This aura of power only grows with time: As your reputation for independence grows, more and more people will come to desire you, wanting to be the one who gets you to commit.

Desire is like a virus: If we see that someone is desired by other people, we tend to find this person desirable too.
The moment you commit, the magic is gone. You become like everyone else.

People will try all kinds of underhanded methods to get you to commit. They will give you gifts, shower you with favors, all to put you
under obligation. Encourage the attention, stimulate their interest, but do not commit at any cost.

Accept the gifts and favors if you so desire, but be careful to maintain your inner aloofness. You cannot inadvertently allow
yourself to feel obligated to anyone.

Remember, though: The goal is not to put people off, or to make it seem that you are incapable of commitment.

Like the Virgin Queen, you need to stir the pot, excite interest, lure people with the possibility of having you.
You have to bend to their attention occasionally, then-but never too far."


Most obvious application is social circle and relationships,
but it can be used for basically any situation that involves seduction (including texting game).
 
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Beck Bass

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
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relationships
I think I do have a bit of a struggle on trying to keep it on LTRs. I've been single or on open relationships pretty much since I started going out and picking up girls, and now that I'm living with my girl, I can't quite just "ok, you're treating me like that, I'll just find some other girl that treats me better". Of course I can leave, but the stakes are now much higher. There's also a whole other degree of respect and loyalty that's expected when you're living together, and when your girl starts acting not that well. I know that this is not exactly about reward and punishing (or more like the lack of rewarding), but it's a delicate balance when you're living together with a girl, for you to maintain your independent, masculine self.
One that I'm slowly learning...
 

POB

Chieftan
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tribal-elder
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There's a very different power dinamic at play when it's a couple living under the same roof.
In this situation, the balance is scaled in her favor from the get go.
It def requires a more subtle approach.
 
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Beck Bass

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
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638
In this situation, the balance is scaled in her favor from the get go.
Yeah, it's like she already won the game (unless thing get a bit nuclear lmao). But yeah, I guess the game never stops, I'm just playing a different one right now that I'm not quite so familiar with
 
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a good date brings a smile to your lips... and hers

Hue

Tribal Elder
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I think this is partly why Open Relationships (however one chooses to run them) can work out favorably for seducers for quite some time.

In the back of her head, she knows she still hasn't gotten you to commit, even if you're doing all the other things a more traditional mono relationship has going on (and proper relationship management, not giving into overindulging in each other's time and as you pointed out, avoiding Cohabitation).
 
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