Preface
Hey guys, it's been almost a year since my last post. I wish it was because I was so successful with women that I was too busy, but it's not. I've been in a FWB with one girl the entire time, and only slept with 1 new girl in that duration. Not for lack of trying, as I've still been cold approaching, getting a fair bit of numbers, and going on a decent number of dates the entire time (with little ultimate success).
I suspect there are a few factors for my slump:
- The Girlfriend Pickup Dip - as I mentioned, I've had a regular FWB this entire time, who's chill, and with whom I'm very sexually compatible with. So oftentimes my motivation to go through the BS of a new girl gets stopped by a thought of "she's not even as good/hot/interesting as the one I'm seeing this Friday". I guess if I want to become really serious with pickup, I need to drop this.
- The Player Paradox and Being Too Cocky - If you remember, I had a threesome LR about a year ago, which I consider the peak of my pickup career. And my slump started literally right after that. I definitely thought I was a pretty big deal immediately after that, and it probably showed as I was interacting with women. Furthermore, years of increasing my own value and accruing more lays have eroded a lot of that "realness" I had before--I probably come off as a robot seducer now, and I need to inject more warmth and empathy into my seductions.
Another update is that I've quit my 9-5, and am trying to build my own business. I was under a delusion that not being a corporate slave, doing something ambitious like trying to build my own business, etc. would be an amazingly fresh identity and help dramatically with women. But it really didn't help at all (honestly probably hurt). Before I would just say "I work in finance", and girls would take it however. If they knew something about it, they would ask what type of finance, and I would explain this/that which would be mildly more impressive if they were in the know, but often times it would just be a neutral thing, since so many people in this city work in finance. When I changed my identity to "just quit my job, trying to start my own company", I would sometimes get girls who brighten up and are curious about what I'm doing. But those same girls would never agree to go on a date. I suspect it's a combination of "taking myself too seriously" (I think I'm a big deal because I'm not a corporate drone anymore), and "being a fraud" (why is this guy talking such big talk when his business hasn't even found success yet?).
So having read Why it's harder for guys with good jobs to get girls, @Chase already predicted that being a business owner wouldn't help at all. And he was right, but I didn't believe him until I started using that identity myself. In the article he says the best identities are "unemployed", and "artist". So anyway, one time when a girl asked me what I do, I said "not really doing anything right now", and she totally thought I was a loser LOL and didn't want to talk to me anymore. Then I went over to telling girls I recently quit and am trying to start a startup (which I've already mentioned didn't work too well). Over the last few days I've modified my identity a bit to "taking a break from work, doing a bunch of traveling, exploring some startup ideas", which has been pretty good. I think it solves the "taking myself too seriously" issue, as well as the "fraud" issue, because I'm being humble, and I'm not claiming to be a big deal business founder.
Numbers
Anyway, preface done, let's fast forward to this last week. With my new freedom from the corporate grind, I've found the time and energy to go cold approach literally every day. About 4-8 approaches per day, it's really not a big deal to just take an hour or two out of each day. In the last 9 days, I've gotten 7 numbers, which is definitely a consistency record, both in terms of regularly going out, and in terms of getting results (though no dates have come out of those numbers yet). Also, 7 numbers in 9 days is a long enough time frame that it's definitely not just luck, and I'm definitely starting to get more consistent at this. Here's a breakdown of the numbers I got, maybe you guys can provide some analysis/feedback for me:
1) Attended a workout club. At the end, there was a happy hour gathering. As I was leaving, another tall pretty redhead was also leaving at the same time. I casually walked next to her and asked if she was leaving now too. She said yes, and we got into some really nice banter while we both walked home. At the end of a ~15 minute walk/conversation, she said she's taking a right here. I said, hey, I enjoyed this conversation, want to connect and maybe grab a coffee sometime? She looked at me, smiled, and gave a fairly genuine "yeah I'd like that" with a glint in her eye, then we exchanged instagrams, and I hugged her goodbye, and it was one of those hugs where she rubs her hand on my back a little bit, and holds me for an extra half second, so there was definitely a spark there.
So here's the text breakdown:
[me that evening]: Hey ___, hope you cooked a nice dinner to reward the run
I ended up stopping by a taco place on the way home [sends picture]
[her ~30 minutes later] *love emojis my second message*, Yum! I picked up this [shows picture of a pasta]
[me 30 minutes later]: oh a classic spaghetti and meatballs? blah blah comment about the food.
so let's meetup for a coffee or food like we mentioned. Let me know what your schedule is like later this week--maybe Friday afternoon or Saturday?
[her the next day in the evening]: Yep so good. I may be going to ____ tomorrow but I'll let you know earlier in the day.
Do you have a favorite pizza place?
[me an hour later]: oh okay, yeah let me know--or some other time this weekend if you're free
(leaves 5-6 lines about some of my favorite pizza places)
[her 1 hour later]: Oh I'll have to check out those spots! My go to pizza spot is ___. It's no frills. I also like ____ for another casual spot.
[me the next day in the evening]: Oh nice I've been looking for a neighborhood pizza spot too.(other filler).
[she goes silent for the weekend]
[me monday evening with a resurrection text]: Hey ____! Sorry for disappearing for a few days, had a lot of friends from out of town suddenly popup for catchup. Have you been good?
enjoyed our walking chat last time, still interested in meeting up to chat more over dinner sometime
[her the next evening]: Hey sorry for the delay here. I had a family emergency, and was dealing with that all weekend. I enjoyed our conversation too, but more as friends. Happy to chat and grab a bite sometime though!
^^ So in my mind, this was clearly a "too needy over text" fail. After reading hector's "Player Paradox" article, I decided what the hell, and tried to be a bit "nice guy" once or twice, and see how that changes my results. It clearly backfired in this case. I probably had a decent chance to go on a date with her, but killed it with too much texting.
2) The next day I went for a few approaches, nothing bit, called it a day. Just 2 blocks outside my apartment, I spotted a cute latino girl. Opened her while walking next to her, did some chit chat, turns out she works in finance near where I live. I didn't get a really strong vibe, but figured what the hell and said "would you want to exchange numbers, and maybe get a coffee sometime?" She hesitated for a bit, then said sure. I texted her a greeting "Hey ___, great to meet you *handwave emoji* ~ __(my name)____". She responded in half an hour "hey!!! Nice to meet you today!!". At the end of the night, I texted "Hope you had a nice dinner with friends, what was the cuisine? I had a quiet/focusing evening of running Anyway, we should grab coffee or a bite like we said! Maybe you’re free after work sometime (your office is in __ too right)" And she never responded. This one didn't seem too hooked on me to begin with, so whatever
3) the next day, it was RAINING like hell, and I was half drenched when I got out of the subway on the way to dinner. I was definitely not thinking about approaching anyone when all wet and gross. The subway exited into an office building, and there was this cute professional japanese girl waiting inside the front entrance. I walked past her, and was about to go on my way to dinner, but yelled at myself, and forced myself to approach despite the bad conditions. So I go back inside, pretend to be calling an lyft, and ask her "are you waiting for a taxi too?" We chit chat for quite a bit, she's really smiley and impressed with me. Turns out she's a consultant, and she likes my background and my ethnicity (similar ethnicity) and the business I'm trying to build. We exchange instagrams. At the end her friend who she's meeting calls her, and I tap her on the shoulder and say "okay my Lyft is here, I'll leave you to it, and let's grab coffee sometime". She smiles and acknowledges and we part ways". That Saturday evening I message "so ____, explain the story behind _____ (her weird instagram handle)". She never replies. The next Wednesday I send a resurrection text "hey ___, sorry for disappearing for a bit. Had friends from out of town ... (blah blah blah).... Anyway, I enjoyed chatting with you last week--would like to see more if you're interested in a coffee or dinner sometime, let me know!". Also no response.
^^ The only mistake I can think of is sending her the first text on a Saturday evening (maybe shows I don't have much going on?). I probably should have waited until Sunday morning. It's not like a number exchange where she might totally forget who I am, because we exchanged instagrams.
4) While on the way to dinner on a weekend evening, saw a tall Korean girl in a beautiful summer dress. I walked alongside her, complimented her outfit, and started chit chat. I asked if she works in fashion, she used to model, but doesn't do that anymore. She was really confident and direct in talking to me (not the usual stranger shyness). When I mentioned I'm building a business, she got interested and started drilling me about it and how I plan to be competitive. We chitchatted more, I thought it was a good open, but perhaps she got the vibes that this guy's business is nothing yet. Anyway, she mentions she's late to dinner, and I let her go after exchanging numbers.
[me ~10 minutes later]: Hi ___, great to have met *wave emoji* ~___my_name___
[her 3 minutes later]: Likewise! Hope you have a wonderful evening.
[me 10 minutes later]: Yes, you too!
Also, I appreciate your confidence when conversing with a stranger, would like to see more of that
[her ~2 hours later]: *love emoji the most recent text*
[me the next morning]: Morning ____, hope you had a wonderful dinner. Caught up with good friends last night, so nice to relive nostalgia.
Let’s continue the conversation, over coffee or food--free Wednesday or Thursday evening?
[her the next evening]: Hi, apologies for the delay. I'm busy evenings this week, but could sneak a tea sometime?
[me the next morning]: No worries _____,
How about a tea Thursday or Friday during the day--where's your office at?
she never responds
^^ I suspect a few things:
- though I thought the conversation went well and really liked her, maybe she wasn't all that impressed with me starting a business. Maybe I came across as "full of myself for no reason".
- me texting her so soon after on a weekend evening "I appreciate your confident energy....", and me being "too available", and me texting a bit too much and too soon after she texts, was needy. Again, I was experimenting with being warmer to undo the "player paradox", but that was probably a fail experiment
5) Was about to meet a friend for a walk. But on the way saw a pretty Vietnamese girl. Walked to the side of her, complimented her outfit, chit chatted a bit. Not the greatest conversation, she seemed skeptical of me, but we exchanged numbers. I texted her the usual, and she was actually a lot warmer than pretty much all the other numbers I got this week, despite our initial conversation being one of the colder ones. She's busy this week hosting friends though, so I might try to meet with her next week (though there's also a high likelihood she just disappears due to the time).
6) Was out cold approaching. Decided to call it a day, and get on the train to go to a fun place for dinner. As I was heading down, a pretty thai girl was heading up and out. After passing by her, I kick myself and force myself to approach her. So I turn around, and follow her up the long escalator. It's been a challenge to open girls on escalators for me, as it's not as easy to pull off the "I just noticed you while passing by" vibe, since you're clearly walking and stopping right next to her. I also find it easier to open on an up escalator rather than a down escalator. Because on the up one, you can walk in front of her so she notices you, but then still be above her. Whereas on a down escalator, if you walk in front of her, she's above you, which messes up the gender power dynamic. Anyway, I do manage to pull this one off, by slowly walking next to her, and being as LEFT as possible to give her space and not seem overbearing. Then I turned and complimented her outfit. And she responds warmly. She seems impressed by my background and the business I'm trying to start. I ask to exchange numbers and maybe get a coffee sometime, and she hesitates at first. I was almost sure she was going to say "sorry, I have a boyfriend", but then she almost "relents", and says "okay.. okay." We exchange numbers and part warmly.
[me ~10 minutes later]: Hi _____, it was random but cool meeting you today *wave emoji* ~____my_name___
She never replies. Though this was more recent, so I'll send her a "set up the date"/resurrection text soon.
7) Was out cold approaching. Saw a beautiful tall indian girl in a summer dress. I follow her into the store, stalk her a bit until she pauses checking out chocolate. I also examine the chocolate, then look right and "notice her", compliment her, ask if she's working in fashion, chit chat for a bit, cold read that she's australian due to her accent (she was impressed that I guessed correctly, because she spent study abroad time there). At one point the conversation slows, and I re-engage with ".... are you single?..." she acts surprised and embarassed for a bit, and says sheepishly "...yes.....". I quickly reply, oh well, would you want to exchange numbers, maybe get a coffee sometime? She relatively enthusiastically agrees.
[me 5 minutes later]: Hey ____, kind of random, but quite nice meeting you today ~___my_name___
[her 30 minutes later]: Hey ___! Great to meet you too!
This was recent, so I'll send her a "setting up the date text" soon.
Conclusion
So most of those 7 numbers are fails, I still have hopes for one or two of them. But it's honestly a fairly low number -> date conversion ratio. Trying to think of ways to improve that.
Other things I'm working on in my seduction:
- validate her more. I liked this article/interview with @Kvothe, where he said validating girls skyrocketed his results. The thought is that I get a decent number of numbers, but the girls probably think "that guy was cool and high value, but why does he like me? Maybe he just wants a new piece of meat.". I need to show these girls what I actually like about them. I also need to drop my ego a bit, because honestly some of the girls I approach, I think I'm better than them and their normal job, and that probably shows.
- on dates: sexualize the vibe more, use sex gambits, sex talk, secret society, etc. I definitely have a low date -> invite_back_to_my_place ratio right now (weirdly it was definitely higher in the past, again I suspect the player paradox).
- try to setup dates at the end of the approach, rather than over text (where she often falls off/ghosts). Haven't done this yet, but want to try it
So, long post over. Wanted to put this out there to see if anyone has any feedback/suggestions for me. I've always found that helpful to see if there are any blind spots. And also I wanted to post this to keep me accountable to committing to approaching more. I want to feel guilty/embarassed if I post this and end up too scared/lazy.
Hey guys, it's been almost a year since my last post. I wish it was because I was so successful with women that I was too busy, but it's not. I've been in a FWB with one girl the entire time, and only slept with 1 new girl in that duration. Not for lack of trying, as I've still been cold approaching, getting a fair bit of numbers, and going on a decent number of dates the entire time (with little ultimate success).
I suspect there are a few factors for my slump:
- The Girlfriend Pickup Dip - as I mentioned, I've had a regular FWB this entire time, who's chill, and with whom I'm very sexually compatible with. So oftentimes my motivation to go through the BS of a new girl gets stopped by a thought of "she's not even as good/hot/interesting as the one I'm seeing this Friday". I guess if I want to become really serious with pickup, I need to drop this.
- The Player Paradox and Being Too Cocky - If you remember, I had a threesome LR about a year ago, which I consider the peak of my pickup career. And my slump started literally right after that. I definitely thought I was a pretty big deal immediately after that, and it probably showed as I was interacting with women. Furthermore, years of increasing my own value and accruing more lays have eroded a lot of that "realness" I had before--I probably come off as a robot seducer now, and I need to inject more warmth and empathy into my seductions.
Another update is that I've quit my 9-5, and am trying to build my own business. I was under a delusion that not being a corporate slave, doing something ambitious like trying to build my own business, etc. would be an amazingly fresh identity and help dramatically with women. But it really didn't help at all (honestly probably hurt). Before I would just say "I work in finance", and girls would take it however. If they knew something about it, they would ask what type of finance, and I would explain this/that which would be mildly more impressive if they were in the know, but often times it would just be a neutral thing, since so many people in this city work in finance. When I changed my identity to "just quit my job, trying to start my own company", I would sometimes get girls who brighten up and are curious about what I'm doing. But those same girls would never agree to go on a date. I suspect it's a combination of "taking myself too seriously" (I think I'm a big deal because I'm not a corporate drone anymore), and "being a fraud" (why is this guy talking such big talk when his business hasn't even found success yet?).
So having read Why it's harder for guys with good jobs to get girls, @Chase already predicted that being a business owner wouldn't help at all. And he was right, but I didn't believe him until I started using that identity myself. In the article he says the best identities are "unemployed", and "artist". So anyway, one time when a girl asked me what I do, I said "not really doing anything right now", and she totally thought I was a loser LOL and didn't want to talk to me anymore. Then I went over to telling girls I recently quit and am trying to start a startup (which I've already mentioned didn't work too well). Over the last few days I've modified my identity a bit to "taking a break from work, doing a bunch of traveling, exploring some startup ideas", which has been pretty good. I think it solves the "taking myself too seriously" issue, as well as the "fraud" issue, because I'm being humble, and I'm not claiming to be a big deal business founder.
Numbers
Anyway, preface done, let's fast forward to this last week. With my new freedom from the corporate grind, I've found the time and energy to go cold approach literally every day. About 4-8 approaches per day, it's really not a big deal to just take an hour or two out of each day. In the last 9 days, I've gotten 7 numbers, which is definitely a consistency record, both in terms of regularly going out, and in terms of getting results (though no dates have come out of those numbers yet). Also, 7 numbers in 9 days is a long enough time frame that it's definitely not just luck, and I'm definitely starting to get more consistent at this. Here's a breakdown of the numbers I got, maybe you guys can provide some analysis/feedback for me:
1) Attended a workout club. At the end, there was a happy hour gathering. As I was leaving, another tall pretty redhead was also leaving at the same time. I casually walked next to her and asked if she was leaving now too. She said yes, and we got into some really nice banter while we both walked home. At the end of a ~15 minute walk/conversation, she said she's taking a right here. I said, hey, I enjoyed this conversation, want to connect and maybe grab a coffee sometime? She looked at me, smiled, and gave a fairly genuine "yeah I'd like that" with a glint in her eye, then we exchanged instagrams, and I hugged her goodbye, and it was one of those hugs where she rubs her hand on my back a little bit, and holds me for an extra half second, so there was definitely a spark there.
So here's the text breakdown:
[me that evening]: Hey ___, hope you cooked a nice dinner to reward the run
I ended up stopping by a taco place on the way home [sends picture]
[her ~30 minutes later] *love emojis my second message*, Yum! I picked up this [shows picture of a pasta]
[me 30 minutes later]: oh a classic spaghetti and meatballs? blah blah comment about the food.
so let's meetup for a coffee or food like we mentioned. Let me know what your schedule is like later this week--maybe Friday afternoon or Saturday?
[her the next day in the evening]: Yep so good. I may be going to ____ tomorrow but I'll let you know earlier in the day.
Do you have a favorite pizza place?
[me an hour later]: oh okay, yeah let me know--or some other time this weekend if you're free
(leaves 5-6 lines about some of my favorite pizza places)
[her 1 hour later]: Oh I'll have to check out those spots! My go to pizza spot is ___. It's no frills. I also like ____ for another casual spot.
[me the next day in the evening]: Oh nice I've been looking for a neighborhood pizza spot too.(other filler).
[she goes silent for the weekend]
[me monday evening with a resurrection text]: Hey ____! Sorry for disappearing for a few days, had a lot of friends from out of town suddenly popup for catchup. Have you been good?
enjoyed our walking chat last time, still interested in meeting up to chat more over dinner sometime
[her the next evening]: Hey sorry for the delay here. I had a family emergency, and was dealing with that all weekend. I enjoyed our conversation too, but more as friends. Happy to chat and grab a bite sometime though!
^^ So in my mind, this was clearly a "too needy over text" fail. After reading hector's "Player Paradox" article, I decided what the hell, and tried to be a bit "nice guy" once or twice, and see how that changes my results. It clearly backfired in this case. I probably had a decent chance to go on a date with her, but killed it with too much texting.
2) The next day I went for a few approaches, nothing bit, called it a day. Just 2 blocks outside my apartment, I spotted a cute latino girl. Opened her while walking next to her, did some chit chat, turns out she works in finance near where I live. I didn't get a really strong vibe, but figured what the hell and said "would you want to exchange numbers, and maybe get a coffee sometime?" She hesitated for a bit, then said sure. I texted her a greeting "Hey ___, great to meet you *handwave emoji* ~ __(my name)____". She responded in half an hour "hey!!! Nice to meet you today!!". At the end of the night, I texted "Hope you had a nice dinner with friends, what was the cuisine? I had a quiet/focusing evening of running Anyway, we should grab coffee or a bite like we said! Maybe you’re free after work sometime (your office is in __ too right)" And she never responded. This one didn't seem too hooked on me to begin with, so whatever
3) the next day, it was RAINING like hell, and I was half drenched when I got out of the subway on the way to dinner. I was definitely not thinking about approaching anyone when all wet and gross. The subway exited into an office building, and there was this cute professional japanese girl waiting inside the front entrance. I walked past her, and was about to go on my way to dinner, but yelled at myself, and forced myself to approach despite the bad conditions. So I go back inside, pretend to be calling an lyft, and ask her "are you waiting for a taxi too?" We chit chat for quite a bit, she's really smiley and impressed with me. Turns out she's a consultant, and she likes my background and my ethnicity (similar ethnicity) and the business I'm trying to build. We exchange instagrams. At the end her friend who she's meeting calls her, and I tap her on the shoulder and say "okay my Lyft is here, I'll leave you to it, and let's grab coffee sometime". She smiles and acknowledges and we part ways". That Saturday evening I message "so ____, explain the story behind _____ (her weird instagram handle)". She never replies. The next Wednesday I send a resurrection text "hey ___, sorry for disappearing for a bit. Had friends from out of town ... (blah blah blah).... Anyway, I enjoyed chatting with you last week--would like to see more if you're interested in a coffee or dinner sometime, let me know!". Also no response.
^^ The only mistake I can think of is sending her the first text on a Saturday evening (maybe shows I don't have much going on?). I probably should have waited until Sunday morning. It's not like a number exchange where she might totally forget who I am, because we exchanged instagrams.
4) While on the way to dinner on a weekend evening, saw a tall Korean girl in a beautiful summer dress. I walked alongside her, complimented her outfit, and started chit chat. I asked if she works in fashion, she used to model, but doesn't do that anymore. She was really confident and direct in talking to me (not the usual stranger shyness). When I mentioned I'm building a business, she got interested and started drilling me about it and how I plan to be competitive. We chitchatted more, I thought it was a good open, but perhaps she got the vibes that this guy's business is nothing yet. Anyway, she mentions she's late to dinner, and I let her go after exchanging numbers.
[me ~10 minutes later]: Hi ___, great to have met *wave emoji* ~___my_name___
[her 3 minutes later]: Likewise! Hope you have a wonderful evening.
[me 10 minutes later]: Yes, you too!
Also, I appreciate your confidence when conversing with a stranger, would like to see more of that
[her ~2 hours later]: *love emoji the most recent text*
[me the next morning]: Morning ____, hope you had a wonderful dinner. Caught up with good friends last night, so nice to relive nostalgia.
Let’s continue the conversation, over coffee or food--free Wednesday or Thursday evening?
[her the next evening]: Hi, apologies for the delay. I'm busy evenings this week, but could sneak a tea sometime?
[me the next morning]: No worries _____
,How about a tea Thursday or Friday during the day--where's your office at?
she never responds
^^ I suspect a few things:
- though I thought the conversation went well and really liked her, maybe she wasn't all that impressed with me starting a business. Maybe I came across as "full of myself for no reason".
- me texting her so soon after on a weekend evening "I appreciate your confident energy....", and me being "too available", and me texting a bit too much and too soon after she texts, was needy. Again, I was experimenting with being warmer to undo the "player paradox", but that was probably a fail experiment
5) Was about to meet a friend for a walk. But on the way saw a pretty Vietnamese girl. Walked to the side of her, complimented her outfit, chit chatted a bit. Not the greatest conversation, she seemed skeptical of me, but we exchanged numbers. I texted her the usual, and she was actually a lot warmer than pretty much all the other numbers I got this week, despite our initial conversation being one of the colder ones. She's busy this week hosting friends though, so I might try to meet with her next week (though there's also a high likelihood she just disappears due to the time).
6) Was out cold approaching. Decided to call it a day, and get on the train to go to a fun place for dinner. As I was heading down, a pretty thai girl was heading up and out. After passing by her, I kick myself and force myself to approach her. So I turn around, and follow her up the long escalator. It's been a challenge to open girls on escalators for me, as it's not as easy to pull off the "I just noticed you while passing by" vibe, since you're clearly walking and stopping right next to her. I also find it easier to open on an up escalator rather than a down escalator. Because on the up one, you can walk in front of her so she notices you, but then still be above her. Whereas on a down escalator, if you walk in front of her, she's above you, which messes up the gender power dynamic. Anyway, I do manage to pull this one off, by slowly walking next to her, and being as LEFT as possible to give her space and not seem overbearing. Then I turned and complimented her outfit. And she responds warmly. She seems impressed by my background and the business I'm trying to start. I ask to exchange numbers and maybe get a coffee sometime, and she hesitates at first. I was almost sure she was going to say "sorry, I have a boyfriend", but then she almost "relents", and says "okay.. okay." We exchange numbers and part warmly.
[me ~10 minutes later]: Hi _____, it was random but cool meeting you today *wave emoji* ~____my_name___
She never replies. Though this was more recent, so I'll send her a "set up the date"/resurrection text soon.
7) Was out cold approaching. Saw a beautiful tall indian girl in a summer dress. I follow her into the store, stalk her a bit until she pauses checking out chocolate. I also examine the chocolate, then look right and "notice her", compliment her, ask if she's working in fashion, chit chat for a bit, cold read that she's australian due to her accent (she was impressed that I guessed correctly, because she spent study abroad time there). At one point the conversation slows, and I re-engage with ".... are you single?..." she acts surprised and embarassed for a bit, and says sheepishly "...yes.....". I quickly reply, oh well, would you want to exchange numbers, maybe get a coffee sometime? She relatively enthusiastically agrees.
[me 5 minutes later]: Hey ____, kind of random, but quite nice meeting you today
~___my_name___[her 30 minutes later]: Hey ___! Great to meet you too!
This was recent, so I'll send her a "setting up the date text" soon.
Conclusion
So most of those 7 numbers are fails, I still have hopes for one or two of them. But it's honestly a fairly low number -> date conversion ratio. Trying to think of ways to improve that.
Other things I'm working on in my seduction:
- validate her more. I liked this article/interview with @Kvothe, where he said validating girls skyrocketed his results. The thought is that I get a decent number of numbers, but the girls probably think "that guy was cool and high value, but why does he like me? Maybe he just wants a new piece of meat.". I need to show these girls what I actually like about them. I also need to drop my ego a bit, because honestly some of the girls I approach, I think I'm better than them and their normal job, and that probably shows.
- on dates: sexualize the vibe more, use sex gambits, sex talk, secret society, etc. I definitely have a low date -> invite_back_to_my_place ratio right now (weirdly it was definitely higher in the past, again I suspect the player paradox).
- try to setup dates at the end of the approach, rather than over text (where she often falls off/ghosts). Haven't done this yet, but want to try it
So, long post over. Wanted to put this out there to see if anyone has any feedback/suggestions for me. I've always found that helpful to see if there are any blind spots. And also I wanted to post this to keep me accountable to committing to approaching more. I want to feel guilty/embarassed if I post this and end up too scared/lazy.
Great to meet a fellow tea lover! Proper
