- Joined
- Feb 13, 2013
- Messages
- 1,275
Post-Divorce and Online Dating
It’s been nearly six months ago since I found this website. I was married for 8 years until December 2010. Before I was married, I was really pretty good with women and getting girls in general. However, I found that after my divorce I was having a ton of trouble getting girls interested in me- let alone wanting to go to bed with me.
Due to approach anxiety (would not have known this term at the time, but that’s what it was) I did a lot of online dating after my divorce. I found that most women I met were much older and fatter than the pictures they had on their online dating profile. Very disappointing. My self-confidence began to dwindle as I started going on dates with women that I would have never considered prior to my marriage.
Fast forward to December 2012. It’s been two years since my ex and I separated. I have an awesome career, a nice home, nice vehicle, nice boat. And, I’m a good looking guy. In fact, looking back- that seemed to be what I was getting by on, was simply my looks. Still, I could not understand why I was having so much trouble finding a nice, attractive woman to *stay* interested in me. Then BAM, I get lucky. I meet this girl and she is perfect. Or so I think. I wine her and dine her, take her on boring lunch dates. Dates at the movies. After several dates she comes over to my house and we kiss. She wants to come over the very next night. She does, and we make out a little bit and I tell her I really like her and want to wait for sex. I think this will surely get me “in” and gain her trust. In fact, just the opposite occurs- she dumps me like a sack of bricks. Just blows me off completely.
I’m upset and angry- nearly to tears.
GirlsChase.com
As I am Googling stupid phrases like “how to get a girl back” and “how to get women interested” I come across Chase’s famous article on how to get a girl back. I read it, and make a post in the comments on the article. Chase himself graciously gives me the best dating advice I’d ever received. I start to scour the articles on the site. I’d relied on women to give me dating advice for the past couple of years. Perfect right? Because they know what women want? False. Women don’t even know what they, themselves even want most of the time.
I start to work hard at bettering my image, and I practice fundamentals. I notice women looking at me again, smiling at me, etcetera. It’s like I’m a different man… except all I did was grow some facial hair, buy some new clothes, and change my posture/walk/demeanor. This causes me to gain a certain amount of confidence.
Next, I start employing some of the tactics I’m reading about on this site. Also, I join the forums about a month after finding this site. I start using some of this knowledge at clubs and other venues that I attend. I’m getting phone numbers. I’m texting them using the approach (as well as some of the templates and such that I pick up on) and seeing almost instant results. Over the course of the next couple months, basically up until now, I’ve taken several women out on dates and bedded them on the third, second, hell even the first date. Girls that used to be 9’s to me are 7’s now. Girls that were previously way out my league, I’m now taking them out on dates and fucking them.
I am giddy- nearly to tears.
Problems Arise
I kind of seen this coming, but this morning it hit me. Right now I am actively dating two women at the same time. Both of them want more investment from me. Their constant text messages and complaints that *I* don’t reply or text them quickly enough, or at all, are annoying to me. And, I have a date scheduled with another in two days. It’s like I can’t stop. I know I am biting off more than I can chew, but it’s like I don’t even care because my dick is leading me around blind.
Many women that I’d threw the full court press on and then either never contacted or stopped contacting are still sending me texts wondering what happened to me. This girl I met at a party a couple weeks ago actually sent me a bunch of berating texts last night (and continued this morning) because I never got back with her.
While on a date with a very attractive woman I met at the gym, I run into another girl that I had asked out and got her number and then never contacted. She approaches me and my date and starts talking to me and asking me when we’re going to go out. This is very awkward, and my date is a bit put off by this as well.
One girl I went on a couple dates with (and had sex with), I then abruptly told her I didn’t want to see her anymore after she started getting too close and wanting to tell me she loved me and stuff like that. And she still won’t leave me alone, and texts me and leaves me voicemails even though I haven’t responded to her last several attempts to contact me.
The most recent girl I took out. She had taken me to this place last Thursday evening where there were many of her friends there. I met quite a few of them. I guess she just ended a 10 month relationship with some guy a couple weeks ago. He sends me a series of threatening Facebook messages Saturday afternoon. I guess one of her friends must have told him she had some guy out on a date with her, and gave up my name. I really don’t know. Definitely not something I want to deal with.
I’m also dealing with jealous men out in the bars and clubs. I’m trying to learn how to screen women and watch them for a period of time to make sure they do not have a boyfriend, a big brother or father or some other jackass nearby that is going to want to try to fight me or something. Some men don’t even have to be connected in any way, shape or form to these women I’m approaching. They just see me coming into this club and picking up on the women here and get mad/jealous and want to puff up.
Summary
I read the topic on the General board “Is Being A PUA Worth It?” and have some of the same reservations as the author of that topic. I’m not even that good yet, so it’s all a little scary to me at this point. Many guys would say “oh this is an awesome problem to have”- uh, no it’s really not.
How do you guys deal with all of this shit? What are some things I can do to calm things down for me, avoid angry men/cockblockers and jilted women that won’t leave you alone? I want to forge ahead with this, I really do- but I don’t want to be creating enemies and hurting people along the way. With the women, do I need to start framing myself as a more sexual, dominant man now that I’m starting to get decent at some of this stuff? That way they may not be expecting a ton of investment or a relationship?
If I don’t either start changing the way I’m doing things, or just stop altogether- I feel as though it’s only going to get worse.
It’s been nearly six months ago since I found this website. I was married for 8 years until December 2010. Before I was married, I was really pretty good with women and getting girls in general. However, I found that after my divorce I was having a ton of trouble getting girls interested in me- let alone wanting to go to bed with me.
Due to approach anxiety (would not have known this term at the time, but that’s what it was) I did a lot of online dating after my divorce. I found that most women I met were much older and fatter than the pictures they had on their online dating profile. Very disappointing. My self-confidence began to dwindle as I started going on dates with women that I would have never considered prior to my marriage.
Fast forward to December 2012. It’s been two years since my ex and I separated. I have an awesome career, a nice home, nice vehicle, nice boat. And, I’m a good looking guy. In fact, looking back- that seemed to be what I was getting by on, was simply my looks. Still, I could not understand why I was having so much trouble finding a nice, attractive woman to *stay* interested in me. Then BAM, I get lucky. I meet this girl and she is perfect. Or so I think. I wine her and dine her, take her on boring lunch dates. Dates at the movies. After several dates she comes over to my house and we kiss. She wants to come over the very next night. She does, and we make out a little bit and I tell her I really like her and want to wait for sex. I think this will surely get me “in” and gain her trust. In fact, just the opposite occurs- she dumps me like a sack of bricks. Just blows me off completely.
I’m upset and angry- nearly to tears.
GirlsChase.com
As I am Googling stupid phrases like “how to get a girl back” and “how to get women interested” I come across Chase’s famous article on how to get a girl back. I read it, and make a post in the comments on the article. Chase himself graciously gives me the best dating advice I’d ever received. I start to scour the articles on the site. I’d relied on women to give me dating advice for the past couple of years. Perfect right? Because they know what women want? False. Women don’t even know what they, themselves even want most of the time.
I start to work hard at bettering my image, and I practice fundamentals. I notice women looking at me again, smiling at me, etcetera. It’s like I’m a different man… except all I did was grow some facial hair, buy some new clothes, and change my posture/walk/demeanor. This causes me to gain a certain amount of confidence.
Next, I start employing some of the tactics I’m reading about on this site. Also, I join the forums about a month after finding this site. I start using some of this knowledge at clubs and other venues that I attend. I’m getting phone numbers. I’m texting them using the approach (as well as some of the templates and such that I pick up on) and seeing almost instant results. Over the course of the next couple months, basically up until now, I’ve taken several women out on dates and bedded them on the third, second, hell even the first date. Girls that used to be 9’s to me are 7’s now. Girls that were previously way out my league, I’m now taking them out on dates and fucking them.
I am giddy- nearly to tears.
Problems Arise
I kind of seen this coming, but this morning it hit me. Right now I am actively dating two women at the same time. Both of them want more investment from me. Their constant text messages and complaints that *I* don’t reply or text them quickly enough, or at all, are annoying to me. And, I have a date scheduled with another in two days. It’s like I can’t stop. I know I am biting off more than I can chew, but it’s like I don’t even care because my dick is leading me around blind.
Many women that I’d threw the full court press on and then either never contacted or stopped contacting are still sending me texts wondering what happened to me. This girl I met at a party a couple weeks ago actually sent me a bunch of berating texts last night (and continued this morning) because I never got back with her.
While on a date with a very attractive woman I met at the gym, I run into another girl that I had asked out and got her number and then never contacted. She approaches me and my date and starts talking to me and asking me when we’re going to go out. This is very awkward, and my date is a bit put off by this as well.
One girl I went on a couple dates with (and had sex with), I then abruptly told her I didn’t want to see her anymore after she started getting too close and wanting to tell me she loved me and stuff like that. And she still won’t leave me alone, and texts me and leaves me voicemails even though I haven’t responded to her last several attempts to contact me.
The most recent girl I took out. She had taken me to this place last Thursday evening where there were many of her friends there. I met quite a few of them. I guess she just ended a 10 month relationship with some guy a couple weeks ago. He sends me a series of threatening Facebook messages Saturday afternoon. I guess one of her friends must have told him she had some guy out on a date with her, and gave up my name. I really don’t know. Definitely not something I want to deal with.
I’m also dealing with jealous men out in the bars and clubs. I’m trying to learn how to screen women and watch them for a period of time to make sure they do not have a boyfriend, a big brother or father or some other jackass nearby that is going to want to try to fight me or something. Some men don’t even have to be connected in any way, shape or form to these women I’m approaching. They just see me coming into this club and picking up on the women here and get mad/jealous and want to puff up.
Summary
I read the topic on the General board “Is Being A PUA Worth It?” and have some of the same reservations as the author of that topic. I’m not even that good yet, so it’s all a little scary to me at this point. Many guys would say “oh this is an awesome problem to have”- uh, no it’s really not.
How do you guys deal with all of this shit? What are some things I can do to calm things down for me, avoid angry men/cockblockers and jilted women that won’t leave you alone? I want to forge ahead with this, I really do- but I don’t want to be creating enemies and hurting people along the way. With the women, do I need to start framing myself as a more sexual, dominant man now that I’m starting to get decent at some of this stuff? That way they may not be expecting a ton of investment or a relationship?
If I don’t either start changing the way I’m doing things, or just stop altogether- I feel as though it’s only going to get worse.
