PEOPLE
Me: 5'10" early 30s Asian Male, professionally dressed, building a business
Her: 5'8" early 20s Asian female, similar ethnicity, starting a job in finance after getting her MBA
BACKGROUND
As per this post, I've been trying to build up momentum recently. Did some online dating. It's kind of weird/funny in that, though my Cold Approach results have recently been measurably worse (far fewer numbers convert to dates), my online dating results have improved measurably. The only thing that has changed since the last time I online dated was that I added one travel photo, I'm a year older, and I've changed my profession from "finance" to "founder".
THE MEET
Matched online, chit chatted a bit. She was fairly down-to-earth compared to other matches. Very responsive over the app, really low-maintenance in terms of where to meet for a date.
FIRST DATE
Met at a wine bar nearby on a weekend evening, only ordered a glass of wine each, chatted for nearly 2 hours. We then went to a dessert bar and chatted for another hour before I called it quits. I was really socially tired. We exchanged numbers and hugged goodbye.
The conversation was okay, but not exceptional. She didn't seem particularly energized about any topic, or anything really. Just seemed really chill, which was somewhat exhausting to me because I was trying to create sexual tension and up the vibe, which wasn't working. Regardless, I introduced some touch, and lightly referenced some sexual topics, which she didn't bite on. She made it clear she doesn't do casual sex.
SECOND DATE
She was very responsive over text, despite the first date being just okay. We setup a second date a few days later, which is another rarity for me in this city. Usually girls are either too busy, or pretend to be too busy to setup a second date so soon.
We met at a coffee shop for the second date, just low-key. Chatted more, but again, it was hard to "latch" onto any topic. There were some points where I displayed some vulnerability about some of my challenges with a new profession, which was the closest I got to a "solid connection" with her.
BOUNCE
After an hour or so, I suggested we checkout a restaurant in my neigborhood. Afterwards, we walked around the neighborhood, got some street food, chatted some more. Still, no real hook.
PULL
As it was getting darker, I casually told her I had some special coffee at my place, and asked if she'd like me to make her a cup before she headed home. She said sure.
ESCALATION
Back home, I made her the coffee, we listened to some music, looked at some of the books on my bookshelf. I kissed her, which she was slightly resistant to at first. Then I escalated slowly on her with 2 steps forward, 1 step back. Eventually I started rubbing her clit at which point she finally got into it.
Hit a bit of a snag, in that I just saw a FB yesterday (wasn't expecting to get anywhere with the date today), so I had trouble getting hard. And I really didn't want her to see me soft, it might trigger giant auto-rejection from her. So I awkwardly stalled while trying to get hard and continuing to rub her clit for at least 5-6 minutes, she either didn't notice, or didn't mind the awkwardness of that.
AFTER SEX
She stayed around for an hour or two, and we chatted nicely before she headed home. Looking forward to seeing her again.
LESSONS/STICKING POINTS
- "might as well shoot my shot". At literally every step in the process, I felt like she was going to say no: asking to exchange cell numbers at end of average first date, asking for a second date just a few days later, agreeing to a second date, bouncing to my neighborhood, asking if she wants to go back to my place, kissing her, escalating. If I had listened to that "voice", nothing ever would have happened, and I wouldn't have given both of us this wonderful experience.
- not assuming that a lower-energy vibe means she's not interested. The funny thing is that I felt I had a significantly better conversation and connection with 2-3 prior dates, all of which ended up texting me they wanted to be just friends, or ghosting me. This felt very similar to this other LR a few years ago. Also a bit like this one too.
- sex was also quite good, despite her being quite inexperienced, seeming sort of asexual, and the type of girl who goes several years without a partner.
Me: 5'10" early 30s Asian Male, professionally dressed, building a business
Her: 5'8" early 20s Asian female, similar ethnicity, starting a job in finance after getting her MBA
BACKGROUND
As per this post, I've been trying to build up momentum recently. Did some online dating. It's kind of weird/funny in that, though my Cold Approach results have recently been measurably worse (far fewer numbers convert to dates), my online dating results have improved measurably. The only thing that has changed since the last time I online dated was that I added one travel photo, I'm a year older, and I've changed my profession from "finance" to "founder".
THE MEET
Matched online, chit chatted a bit. She was fairly down-to-earth compared to other matches. Very responsive over the app, really low-maintenance in terms of where to meet for a date.
FIRST DATE
Met at a wine bar nearby on a weekend evening, only ordered a glass of wine each, chatted for nearly 2 hours. We then went to a dessert bar and chatted for another hour before I called it quits. I was really socially tired. We exchanged numbers and hugged goodbye.
The conversation was okay, but not exceptional. She didn't seem particularly energized about any topic, or anything really. Just seemed really chill, which was somewhat exhausting to me because I was trying to create sexual tension and up the vibe, which wasn't working. Regardless, I introduced some touch, and lightly referenced some sexual topics, which she didn't bite on. She made it clear she doesn't do casual sex.
SECOND DATE
She was very responsive over text, despite the first date being just okay. We setup a second date a few days later, which is another rarity for me in this city. Usually girls are either too busy, or pretend to be too busy to setup a second date so soon.
We met at a coffee shop for the second date, just low-key. Chatted more, but again, it was hard to "latch" onto any topic. There were some points where I displayed some vulnerability about some of my challenges with a new profession, which was the closest I got to a "solid connection" with her.
BOUNCE
After an hour or so, I suggested we checkout a restaurant in my neigborhood. Afterwards, we walked around the neighborhood, got some street food, chatted some more. Still, no real hook.
PULL
As it was getting darker, I casually told her I had some special coffee at my place, and asked if she'd like me to make her a cup before she headed home. She said sure.
ESCALATION
Back home, I made her the coffee, we listened to some music, looked at some of the books on my bookshelf. I kissed her, which she was slightly resistant to at first. Then I escalated slowly on her with 2 steps forward, 1 step back. Eventually I started rubbing her clit at which point she finally got into it.
Hit a bit of a snag, in that I just saw a FB yesterday (wasn't expecting to get anywhere with the date today), so I had trouble getting hard. And I really didn't want her to see me soft, it might trigger giant auto-rejection from her. So I awkwardly stalled while trying to get hard and continuing to rub her clit for at least 5-6 minutes, she either didn't notice, or didn't mind the awkwardness of that.
AFTER SEX
She stayed around for an hour or two, and we chatted nicely before she headed home. Looking forward to seeing her again.
LESSONS/STICKING POINTS
- "might as well shoot my shot". At literally every step in the process, I felt like she was going to say no: asking to exchange cell numbers at end of average first date, asking for a second date just a few days later, agreeing to a second date, bouncing to my neighborhood, asking if she wants to go back to my place, kissing her, escalating. If I had listened to that "voice", nothing ever would have happened, and I wouldn't have given both of us this wonderful experience.
- not assuming that a lower-energy vibe means she's not interested. The funny thing is that I felt I had a significantly better conversation and connection with 2-3 prior dates, all of which ended up texting me they wanted to be just friends, or ghosting me. This felt very similar to this other LR a few years ago. Also a bit like this one too.
- sex was also quite good, despite her being quite inexperienced, seeming sort of asexual, and the type of girl who goes several years without a partner.
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