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FR  a date from a fumbled approach

Smith

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Sep 14, 2013
Messages
1,016
So I approached this girl on the street last week, and the approach wasn't as smooth as I hoped. I scared her when I opened. (I think my body language was too full on, should have opened from the side) My process was messed up too. I asked her if she would like to grab a coffee sometime right after my opener, which she agreed so I grabbed her number. After I grabbed her number, I deep dived for a little bit (turns out we study the same thing) then bid her farewell. At this point, I figured the number is most likely going to flake.

But anyway, send her an icebreaker text 2 hours later, which she replied. Then 2 days later, I followed the process and asked what her schedule's like. She told me she's very busy during weekdays and suggested Saturday. So we set up the date at 3pm. I didn't tell her where we were going to have coffee until 3 hours before the date as an anti-flake mechanism. (a technique I read somewhere from Franco's post I think, cheers!)

She was 10minutes late, but seem enthusiastic to see me. She was warm and easy to talk to. However, throughout our interaction, instead of me screening and qualifying her, I feel like I was the one being screened. I got the feeling she was screening for a bf. (hmmm not so good for my purposes) Every time I tried to turn the conversation on her, she would turn it back to me and at some point, I realized I was trying to impress so I dialed it down a bit.

There's a few interesting things I noticed during our conversation:
1. She mentioned my last name, which I don't remember telling her lol. Then she explained while looking down that she asked a friend from my country if they knew me. ahh how cute...I only know one guy from my own country and no way they would know each other lol so she probably fb stalked me. I didn't expose her but continued to tease her about how she would make a great detective. I never add girls I cold approached on fb or search them up because I think it really kills any intrigue I have for her, and probably hers for me.

2. When I was trying to turn the conversation around to get her to qualify herself. She realized she's doing this, and stopped herself in the middle of her sentence and said something like "This sounds like I'm trying to build myself up" or something along those lines. Smart girl.

3. Every time I use a little chase framing and sexual humor, she didn't know how to respond and become nervous then tried to resist it. I'm guessing she's sexually inexperienced, and I got the feeling that during our conversation she implied she is a 'good girl', and she said she doesn't usually do this. she usually stays home. she's also not religious.

4. She would beat me to it every time I was about to ask her the same question. It's like she read my mind (or GC) lol

I thought the date went OK. It turns out we live really close together, like literally 30 seconds away. I invited her home even though she tried to resist. I told her let's just chill for 5 minutes and we live so close as well. She was feeling awkward at my place even though I kept the conversation going. We were standing pretty close when she was about to leave. I thought about kissing her but didn't pull the trigger. (hmm maybe I should have...who knows?)
I asked her: "so what do you think of me so far?"
Her: "yea you're ok."
Me: "just ok?"
Her: "yea...what do you mean?"
me: "well..." sexy eye contact and slight head tilt to the slide. "I can't wait for your banana cake"
Her: "oh banana cake huh?"
Me: "yea you need to show me how to bake it sometimes"
Her:" yea =) we could do that! then you have to show me your secrete recipe"
Me: "yea sounds fair!"
we looked at each other for a few seconds, and this is when I thought about kissing her.
Her: "well I should go"
then we said goodbye.


40 minutes after she left I texted her.
Me: "Hey I had a good time today! can't wait for your banana cake though ;)"
Her: "Yeap had a great time chatting with you too! banana cake?? can but I'm more free :p"
Her: "can but when I'm more free*"
She mentioned before she is super busy this week because she has multiple presentations.
Me: "ahhh now ur just teasing me haha ;)"
Her: "Did I? I was just telling the truth :p"
We both replied really slow, like 1~2 hours gap between each text. so by this time, I already fell asleep. I woke up at 5.40am and replied her.
Me: "hmmm that's too bad....I was gonna show you this amazing skill I have :p"
Her 8.17am: "You woke up so early? or you didn't sleep at all? I know there's daylight saving, but I reckon not that many hours huh."
Me: "haha u know, we would actually make great spies! we can seduce our enemy then interrogate them to find out how many hours they slept last night ;)"
Her (really fast reply): "Hey please, the time the msg sent was so clearly stated. And you can't possibly send a msg when you're sleeping right. huh what? I don't do this kinda things, but I know I can be a good spy if I choose to!"
oh wow! again she didn't bite onto my frame. Not sure what she meant by "I don't do this kinda things", but I ignored it and replied an hour later.
Me: "hehe I'm just teasing! Okay Bond girl, where should we go for our first mission then?
4 hours later, and by this time, I'm used to her slow reply.
Her: "No idea for now! but this coming week is gonna be filled with presentations, so my mission is to finish my work :( can't count you in! sorry!"
15 minutes later
Her: "But can update me when you have come up with an interesting mission!"
1.5hrs later
Me: "yea that's cool! maybe you can tag along on my mission ;) good luck with your presentations!
2 hours later
Her: "show me your plans first! haha & Thanks!"
Not sure if I should reply something like "so eager huh ;) all in good time" or just not reply.

It's funny how after reading most of the GC articles, it's easy to tell when a girl is trying to get you to chase her, i.e. setting up their own chase frame. Like, I can smell friend zone from miles away now if a girl is beginning to friend zone me.

Things I need to improve
1. stronger sexual frame, and fundamentals. don't think I was sexy enough.
2. be more decisive about kissing.
3. need to show more of my non-judgemental side.

Any feedback is welcomed. I have a feeling I'm being slotted into provider/potential boyfriend zone or even friend zone if I don't make my move soon.
It's hard to overcome her non-sexual frame. Any ideas?
 
you miss 100% of the shots you don't take

ocantu1987

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Dec 6, 2012
Messages
401
Re: FR a date from a fumbled approach

Great job smith, I think you did good man. Another PUA named Roosh says "even if you approach with zero game and without the ability to construct a sentence, there's gonna be at least one girl who will bang you because you caught her in the right moment"

I think everything was good, I liked your frames, I have yet to incorporate that into my game. I think when you got her to your place, you should of made a move for the kiss. All you got to do is give strong eye contact, stroke her hair, and go for it.

BTW, how did you invite her home? you used the old plausible deniability?
 

Smith

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Sep 14, 2013
Messages
1,016
BTW, how did you invite her home? you used the old plausible deniability?

I didn't use the plausible deniability because I couldn't think of any stupid reason to get her to come with me lol so I just said come over and lets hang out for a while. But it would've probably made her more comfortable had I come up with an excuse.

I think when you got her to your place, you should of made a move for the kiss. All you got to do is give strong eye contact, stroke her hair, and go for it.

Yea should have pulled the trigger. Getting a 2nd date with her is a lot harder now. I tried to set it up a few days ago via text. Her replies were much faster this time, around 30minutes.
Me : "Hey XX! How r ur presentations? hope they r as good as the weather this morning :) what's ur schedule like this weekend? There's a comedy shown on Friday night;)"
Her: "Yup the first one went well! one more to go on Friday! Oh really ?? but I have got plans dy. I'm going to this food carnival organized by Malay student society. You want to tag along :p or even come with your friends!"

I sense the friend zone trap here. At this point, I could have just told her that we can just grab a bite to eat some other time, and let her tell me when she's free....but I wanted to try if I could get her to change her plan.

Me: "Oh really? That's too bad! I was hoping u can come because we had so much fun last time. U sure u can't come? haha I think I'll take a rain check on the food fest thing! I have too much Malaysian food these days :p"
10 minutes later
Her: "I've already promised to go with my friends, and since it's only held once a year! so sorry I will go for that! Perhaps you can watch it with your friends first! haha just carry out our respective missions for this week!
1 hour later
Me: " Okay =) that's cool! no problem! well let's grab a bite to eat soon! so let me know when ur free!"

Felt like I lost a frame battle over text. Maybe persisting over text is not a good idea, or I should've replied faster before she got locked into the idea.

Smith.
 
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