FR a few approaches on campus

[Mr. Wes]

Hey guys, I've been approaching girls on my campus since yesterday and here are a few interactions that stood out to me that I also learned something from. I'm still somewhat of a beginner so they don't go to complete lays.

Interaction 1: Shy uninterested girl

I was working in the computer lab on my campus and a giel walks right pass me, grabbing my attention immediately.
She just stood out from the regular girls I see all around and my mind began debating whether I should approach. i told the negative part of my mind to shut up and got up walking after her. Right when I approached her she was sitting down at another computer on the other side of the room. i stood by her, smiled and waited for her to make eye contact as I said "hey"
She looked at me but then quickly submitted and looked down. I continued on:
Me: I saw you walking there and I just had to come tell you that you are adorable!
Her: (in a really shy, squeaky, mouse like voice) oh..um thankyou.
Me: so whats your name?
She tells me her name but she was looking down this whole time after I said hey.
ii didn't see much point in trying to take the interaction further when she wouldn't even make eye contact with me so I turned around and walked away.

What I learned from this: some girls just aren't into you. Or you will not connect with everyone.
I could've taken it further if I had been more skilled but feedback on doing that is welcome.


Interaction 2: Busy but interested girl

This one also happened in the same computer lab but in a different time of day. I was busy working and I noticed from the corner of my eye a girl approaching to sit one seat away from me. She sits down and I turn my head her way and speak. Just saying: hey how's it going.
Then i continue working but keep looking from the corner of my eye to better check her out. From the corner of my eye I notice she has a really intersting shirt on so I open her with that asking where she got it from.
She answers saying it was from a store further south in the state and our city doesnt have any of those stores.
i then jumped right into where she was from, deep dived a little but didn't get her name. Then I went right back to work.
I decided I wasnt done yet so...
Me: actually, you seem cool...I want to talk to you more...what's your name?
She tells me and we go more into deep diving while we are both working.

Sidenote: I don't have a phone as of right now so I basically ask campus girls their schedules and suggest we meet up.

So I get her schedule just before she has to go to a class.

What I learned: even if a girl is busy, If she's interested she'll show it. This girl seemed to be in a rush the whole talk but did not mind that I was asking her questions/probing and she wasn't being difficult. (maybe she was just being nice)

Interaction 3: Table girl

A friend and I were sitting at some outside tables and I noticed a girl sitting at a table far from us while on her phone.
From far she looked cute so why not? And besides she had a cool hairstyle which I really dig.
Went over, complimented her hair in the animated usual way I say things (her hair SWOOSHED to the side...like no gravity existed) then asked her name in a studder. We shook hands and I sat down next to her and began deep diving, studdering trying to remember what to say. Then I calmed my voice down and brought it back to normal.
Same old questions I always ask. Told her about my phone situation. She handed me her phone and told me to add her on facebook. (eh...I don't really like that idea but I did it anyway) then we went our separate ways to class.
Oh! I'm forgetting an important part....my friends really love butting in when I'm in the middle of an interaction with a girl. Halfway through deep diving, one of my friends called my name from afar. I held a hand up at them signalling hey and went right back into listening/talking. But then my friend actually SAT DOWN at the table with us like what the hell? Stand and wait for me to finish. I could tell the girl I was talking to was confused/bothered by it...but luckily we were coming to an end.

So that's the last two days. i really need to approach more since this is a numbers game and 3 won't cut it. Nevertheless, I'm gaining more confidence and losing my rustiness. I also think I should add more flirting in there so I'm making it clear that this is just a friendly interaction. Idk but these girls seemed to respond to me as if we were just becoming friends.
This is also about learning to be social so that's fine...I'm usually a shy quiet guy.

That's all for now
Peace.

 

[Whizzy]

With interaction one I think the girl was actually into you, especially since she wouldn't look at you in the eyes and sounded quiet/shy. Other than great interactions minus your friends getting in the way for the last approach. Are they always like that?

 

[Ross]

Interaction 1: Shy uninterested girl

I was working in the computer lab on my campus and a giel walks right pass me, grabbing my attention immediately.
She just stood out from the regular girls I see all around and my mind began debating whether I should approach. i told the negative part of my mind to shut up and got up walking after her. Right when I approached her she was sitting down at another computer on the other side of the room. i stood by her, smiled and waited for her to make eye contact as I said "hey"
She looked at me but then quickly submitted and looked down. I continued on:
Me: I saw you walking there and I just had to come tell you that you are adorable!
Her: (in a really shy, squeaky, mouse like voice) oh..um thankyou.
Me: so whats your name?
She tells me her name but she was looking down this whole time after I said hey.
ii didn't see much point in trying to take the interaction further when she wouldn't even make eye contact with me so I turned around and walked away.

What I learned from this: some girls just aren't into you. Or you will not connect with everyone.
I could've taken it further if I had been more skilled but feedback on doing that is welcome.

Were you looking to make eye contact with her, or did you wait until she turned to look at your eyes to communicate eye contact? It may sound trivial, but this makes a lot of difference between a creepy stranger and a guy looking to converse with a girl. The pre-opening seems to be a bit off. Just standing by her and waiting for eye contact isn't the most effective strategy for beginning conversation, especially if you are going direct. Use of an attention grabber like a light touch or playful eye contact where you make eye contact and then look away and smile can also be useful forms of this. My personal favorite in social situations is slow-turning eye contact; it's powerful, her eyes often make contact with yours first because they are darting around, and it's a pretty damn fun to use.

Good job on biting the bullet and convincing yourself to talk to her, but work on pre-opening and you'll find that those girls that seems off before will now enjoy the interaction with you instead of being freaked out by the possibility of talking to a stranger. https://www.girlschase.com/content/pre-opening

This one also happened in the same computer lab but in a different time of day. I was busy working and I noticed from the corner of my eye a girl approaching to sit one seat away from me. She sits down and I turn my head her way and speak. Just saying: hey how's it going.
Then i continue working but keep looking from the corner of my eye to better check her out. From the corner of my eye I notice she has a really intersting shirt on so I open her with that asking where she got it from.
She answers saying it was from a store further south in the state and our city doesnt have any of those stores.
i then jumped right into where she was from, deep dived a little but didn't get her name. Then I went right back to work.
I decided I wasnt done yet so...
Me: actually, you seem cool...I want to talk to you more...what's your name?
She tells me and we go more into deep diving while we are both working.

Sidenote: I don't have a phone as of right now so I basically ask campus girls their schedules and suggest we meet up.

So I get her schedule just before she has to go to a class.

Might want to try and become friendly with her before deep diving. It's as simple as just imposing it in any part of conversation; "Oh, before I forget, my name is Ross." Typically they'll say oh my name is blahblah, but sometimes they'll challenge you or act playful. Either of these is good for you, especially if you address the challenge properly and can feed off the playful atmosphere.

Another little tip for the "I want to talk to you more" line; you can place some compliance in here and perhaps a yes ladder by saying, "This was a fun conversation, don't you think?" (Girl says yeah) "Then let's talk some more another time since I've got to go, okay?" (Girl says okay) "Awesome. What's your schedule look like for today?"

Much higher chance of her letting go of inhibition and letting you in by using a little fancied up speech.

Interaction 3: Table girl

A friend and I were sitting at some outside tables and I noticed a girl sitting at a table far from us while on her phone.
From far she looked cute so why not? And besides she had a cool hairstyle which I really dig.
Went over, complimented her hair in the animated usual way I say things (her hair SWOOSHED to the side...like no gravity existed) then asked her name in a studder. We shook hands and I sat down next to her and began deep diving, studdering trying to remember what to say. Then I calmed my voice down and brought it back to normal.
Same old questions I always ask. Told her about my phone situation. She handed me her phone and told me to add her on facebook. (eh...I don't really like that idea but I did it anyway) then we went our separate ways to class.
Oh! I'm forgetting an important part....my friends really love butting in when I'm in the middle of an interaction with a girl. Halfway through deep diving, one of my friends called my name from afar. I held a hand up at them signalling hey and went right back into listening/talking. But then my friend actually SAT DOWN at the table with us like what the hell? Stand and wait for me to finish. I could tell the girl I was talking to was confused/bothered by it...but luckily we were coming to an end.

So that's the last two days. i really need to approach more since this is a numbers game and 3 won't cut it. Nevertheless, I'm gaining more confidence and losing my rustiness. I also think I should add more flirting in there so I'm making it clear that this is just a friendly interaction. Idk but these girls seemed to respond to me as if we were just becoming friends.
This is also about learning to be social so that's fine...I'm usually a shy quiet guy.

If you're typically a really friendly guy and say hey to people, you can afford to forget the whole "hey" thing all the time, especially when you are engrossed in conversation with someone else. He might have taken that hand wave as something to allow further conversation, and you'll typically want to try and avoid breaking circle in any way.

Sounds like you are doing pretty good for starting out; if anything, I'd say focus on pre-opening and get your openers down first along with actually approaching more women. Friendly interactions are fine when you are trying to find your footing, but remember that you need to include sexual tension if you have any plans of taking these women anywhere (and you should have these plans.. not just approaching for approaching's sake, but approaching because you have a goal).

 

[Mr. Wes]

With interaction one I think the girl was actually into you, especially since she wouldn't look at you in the eyes and sounded quiet/shy. Other than great interactions minus your friends getting in the way for the last approach. Are they always like that?

Yea, its possible. i think I know what I did wrong now. thanks for the reply.
Also, not all the time. my friends believe its okay because I make it okay. Sometimes I have my friends from all different places that I met them all gethered up together while all of them only know me but don't know each other. Of course I introduce them to each other but sometimes its still awkward.

 

[Mr. Wes]

Were you looking to make eye contact with her, or did you wait until she turned to look at your eyes to communicate eye contact? It may sound trivial, but this makes a lot of difference between a creepy stranger and a guy looking to converse with a girl. The pre-opening seems to be a bit off. Just standing by her and waiting for eye contact isn't the most effective strategy for beginning conversation, especially if you are going direct. Use of an attention grabber like a light touch or playful eye contact where you make eye contact and then look away and smile can also be useful forms of this. My personal favorite in social situations is slow-turning eye contact; it's powerful, her eyes often make contact with yours first because they are darting around, and it's a pretty damn fun to use.

Good job on biting the bullet and convincing yourself to talk to her, but work on pre-opening and you'll find that those girls that seems off before will now enjoy the interaction with you instead of being freaked out by the possibility of talking to a stranger. https://www.girlschase.com/content/pre-opening

Oh yes, I was looking to make eye contact before going further. I guess I came off kinda creepy huh?
Thanks for the tip on pre-opening. i definitely forgot about it in that approach and I was really nervous.

Might want to try and become friendly with her before deep diving. It's as simple as just imposing it in any part of conversation; "Oh, before I forget, my name is Ross." Typically they'll say oh my name is blahblah, but sometimes they'll challenge you or act playful. Either of these is good for you, especially if you address the challenge properly and can feed off the playful atmosphere.

Another little tip for the "I want to talk to you more" line; you can place some compliance in here and perhaps a yes ladder by saying, "This was a fun conversation, don't you think?" (Girl says yeah) "Then let's talk some more another time since I've got to go, okay?" (Girl says okay) "Awesome. What's your schedule look like for today?"

Much higher chance of her letting go of inhibition and letting you in by using a little fancied up speech.

Solid advice for the yes ladders. i'll be sure to remember that.

If you're typically a really friendly guy and say hey to people, you can afford to forget the whole "hey" thing all the time, especially when you are engrossed in conversation with someone else. He might have taken that hand wave as something to allow further conversation, and you'll typically want to try and avoid breaking circle in any way.

Sounds like you are doing pretty good for starting out; if anything, I'd say focus on pre-opening and get your openers down first along with actually approaching more women. Friendly interactions are fine when you are trying to find your footing, but remember that you need to include sexual tension if you have any plans of taking these women anywhere (and you should have these plans.. not just approaching for approaching's sake, but approaching because you have a goal).

thanks for your tips, man.
Recently a girl and I kissed. i might get a post on it later.

 

[Whizzy]

What is your goal with these women? Just wondered for the sake of moving/escalating quickly

 

[Mr. Wes]

What is your goal with these women? Just wondered for the sake of moving/escalating quickly

Right now I'm just trying to get to the point where we're kissing. Unfortunately, I didn't get to practice kissing much in high school so I'm trying to gain more confidence in it. if that just so happens to escalate to sex, so be it.

 

[Whizzy]

Like a goodnight kiss or makeout kiss?

 

[Mr. Wes]

Makeout kiss