Hi guys, so I had this curious interaction that has caused me to wonder something...
A month ago this very attractive girl (whom I had never met before, but hear is very involved in the elite-status social circle at my school) approached my friends at a college dining hall table after I had just left, left her number for me asking me out. I got the number, texted her to hang out at the end of the week to which she responded positively to. Friday comes, she flakes 2 hours before the date saying she had an assignment due and would have to take a rain check. Spring break started the next day so I told her we'd do it when we came back a week later. A week later I text her to set something up, theres some back and forth on picking the right day, and eventually we settle on Sunday, again for coffee. Throughout the week I run into her in random places (gym, dining hall) and she seems very nervous/flirty with me. It's clear that she's vetted me through facebook or something because she seemed to already know some basic details of my life. Anyways, Sunday comes and this time she doesn't text me, so I confirm the date about 1 hour before. She tells me she's out of the area and probably won't be able to make it back in time, clearly something she knew in advance and could have let me know. Anyways, I give a soft "No worries, lemme know if you want to reschedule", to which she replies "yes!! I do!! When are you free..."etc. I'm not feeling it so much anymore, but I let her know a day later that I'm free later in the week and she asks a time, to which I say yes. This time I know its not going to happen because we don't confirm logistics, but at this point I give up.
So, part of me thinks had I been unforgiving the first time, she probably would have reached out to me again, but some sort of messed up game logic in her head is telling her that because I gave her the benefit of the doubt, that I'm not as great as she once thought. But even this isn't a strong point. However, I consider it because I recently had another encounter with an attractive girl who I've sporadically hooked up with for the past 3 years (once every 3 or 4 months). Anyways, I've noticed that I only am able to hookup with her when I say no to her first. If she asks to hang out, and I say sure come over, she never comes over. If, on the other hand, if I say maybe in an hour, she'll become extremely aggressive in pursuing me and I have to really drag it out until she is practically begging, and then it works. I really don't like calculating things like this because it feels kind of wrong, but I have so much evidence that this tactic works with this one girl that I'm wondering if I'm just too nice in general. Both girls are examples of people who find me very good looking, and through minimal interaction seem to discount me and I have a hard time pinning it as random chance.
Thoughts?
A month ago this very attractive girl (whom I had never met before, but hear is very involved in the elite-status social circle at my school) approached my friends at a college dining hall table after I had just left, left her number for me asking me out. I got the number, texted her to hang out at the end of the week to which she responded positively to. Friday comes, she flakes 2 hours before the date saying she had an assignment due and would have to take a rain check. Spring break started the next day so I told her we'd do it when we came back a week later. A week later I text her to set something up, theres some back and forth on picking the right day, and eventually we settle on Sunday, again for coffee. Throughout the week I run into her in random places (gym, dining hall) and she seems very nervous/flirty with me. It's clear that she's vetted me through facebook or something because she seemed to already know some basic details of my life. Anyways, Sunday comes and this time she doesn't text me, so I confirm the date about 1 hour before. She tells me she's out of the area and probably won't be able to make it back in time, clearly something she knew in advance and could have let me know. Anyways, I give a soft "No worries, lemme know if you want to reschedule", to which she replies "yes!! I do!! When are you free..."etc. I'm not feeling it so much anymore, but I let her know a day later that I'm free later in the week and she asks a time, to which I say yes. This time I know its not going to happen because we don't confirm logistics, but at this point I give up.
So, part of me thinks had I been unforgiving the first time, she probably would have reached out to me again, but some sort of messed up game logic in her head is telling her that because I gave her the benefit of the doubt, that I'm not as great as she once thought. But even this isn't a strong point. However, I consider it because I recently had another encounter with an attractive girl who I've sporadically hooked up with for the past 3 years (once every 3 or 4 months). Anyways, I've noticed that I only am able to hookup with her when I say no to her first. If she asks to hang out, and I say sure come over, she never comes over. If, on the other hand, if I say maybe in an hour, she'll become extremely aggressive in pursuing me and I have to really drag it out until she is practically begging, and then it works. I really don't like calculating things like this because it feels kind of wrong, but I have so much evidence that this tactic works with this one girl that I'm wondering if I'm just too nice in general. Both girls are examples of people who find me very good looking, and through minimal interaction seem to discount me and I have a hard time pinning it as random chance.
Thoughts?
