A girl says I don't text her enough

[Dragonetti]

Not texting much is an element of game. But does a girl complaining about not enough texts mean that I'm overdoing it? Or is a positive sign that game is working?

 

[OldGuy]

How often do you text her? Also, have you had sex with her? These will help us answer you.

 

[topcat]

Is she invested? Does she enjoy the time you spend together? Do you enjoy being around her?

Keep your eye on these.
Texting more won’t improve any of these, and if you’re not naturally a texter will likely degrade them somewhat.

I’d simply tell her i’m not much of a texter and that I figure how much we enjoy each others’ company means far more than filling a texting quota.

I’d tell her i’ll happily find her a texting buddy if she needs one as that is not a job i’m qualified for.


It's a shit test at worst, or an indicator that she wants to be around you more at best. Most often the former.

Make sure you're still offering quality experiences, and leave the texting to the orbitors & girlfriends.

 

[KJ Francis]

Frustration can definitely go hand in hand with horniness. Feeling like she can't control you is good. Same with you being busy in general, implying without words that other girls are in your life, etc.

I agree with OldGuy though it depends if you slept with her yet. Because this is all about attainability balance. If you haven't fucked, she could easily auto-reject. If you've been seeing each other, you can modulate the attainability in person.

Like topcat said, pay attention to her investment level and the vibe in person, since it becomes like a reactions vs. results thing.

If you are ok playing on attainability's edge, it can act as a push-pull and boost attraction as you come back with warmth, especially in person.

***

This is how bad I let things get, for an idea. They have all cycled to this degree multiple times. So I guess the point is if you have already slept with her several times and she is not auto-rejecting from lack of relationship progression, you can still go on like this for pure fuck buddies.

It works for me because I like to kiss and cuddle, so some in person sweetness seems to help make up for it. But you have to give her a good fuck.

***

Girl 1... It's been like a week. It gets draining so I just ignore like a dick until I pop back on the radar and say everything is fine.

Like are we ok?
Honestly I'm just starting to assume that you don't want to see me but don't know how to tell me. I'm only going to ask you to not disappear on me. Please
Anyway I'm going to leave you alone. I just hope that you do get back to me
Ok one more text...I just don't understand why you're not talking to me.
Look I'm sorry. I was in a bad mood yesterday. But I still feel like you're ignoring me and I don't know why. Anyway I'm going to try and leave you alone. I do hope to hear from you though.
I really wish you wouldn't ignore the any longer. I'm hoping our last time wasn't our last time

***

Girl 2...

You went quiet again
Why are you ignoring me
?
?
Well
I don't get why you have gone so silent

***

Girl 3...


Happy New Year Francis!
When can I see you?
Babe?

***

Girl 4...

Miss you
It's cuddle weather
Hey
[Pic of dinner]
[Pic of baking]
Wyd?
It's Friday!
You awake?
[Pic of baking]
Hey there

***

Girl 5...

I don't even get a text after 5 days?
Merry Christmas! It's not polite to not say anything and ghost me after I've given you everything. Anyway I won't bother you anymore, won't be here for New Year so good luck to us.

***

Girl 5 it has gotten worse with before. So my point is you can definitely ignore the complaints. But you have to have shown her good lover value previously, and come back with warmth, like an old friend.

 

[KJ Francis]

I should add though that it depends on the particular girl's alternate options. If she is trying to catch a fish, she may wait around with her rod in the water and jiggle it (ping you) every once in a while.

But if she has access to a pond with abundant fish, she does not need to wait and can simply dip her net into alternate waters.

The girls above are all lonely fisherwomen. They will put up with catching and releasing a sexy fish they've previously caught a taste of. So pay attention to the marketplace dynamics as well. I will further tamper all the bragging by saying I just bitched out on approaching a really hot girl who let me cut her in a lunch line. Fuck my life.

 

[Dragonetti]

How often do you text her? Also, have you had sex with her? These will help us answer you.

I text her about once a day now that she complained. Yes, we've had plenty of sex.

Is she invested? Does she enjoy the time you spend together? Do you enjoy being around her?

Yeah, she wants to hang our frequently and says that she likes me. I like her but I think she likes me more.

 

[topcat]

I text her about once a day now that she complained. Yes, we've had plenty of sex.

Yeah wrong move. She's already getting good sex and company from you. The texts aren't improving shit , just acquiescing to her female whims.

 

[KJ Francis]

I text her about once a day now that she complained. Yes, we've had plenty of sex.

Yeah, she wants to hang our frequently and says that she likes me. I like her but I think she likes me more.

I would be careful not to capitulate further based on her complaints.

If you have already slept together several times, you should be able to answer:

What is the potential relationship ceiling you see for this girl? Fuck buddy? mLTR? Monogamous girlfriend? Wife? Mother of kids?

If you see a future with this girl, you can slowly allow relationship progression. If you do not, then accept that she will continue further down the taming process (betaization attempts) and leave the relationship when she can't get what she needs. Skills calls this "containment". She will continually test to gain control of your attention, resources, etc.

Making concessions regarding how you like to live in order to keep her will tank her attraction for you. You doing so telegraphs scarcity, otherwise you would have zero fear of losing her and would not change. This is in itself negative pre-selection.

Above is a graph from Chase. Don't let her tame you like a horse.


You know the game "fuck, marry, kill"? You need to have an answer to what box she's in ASAP.

 

[Skills]

I text her about once a day now that she complained. Yes, we've had plenty of sex.

Yeah, she wants to hang our frequently and says that she likes me. I like her but I think she likes me more.

I don't think texting morning once a day is bad then mid day as emoji, takes 2 seconds... Just help her save face, blame it on external factors of you being super busy and go in detail on how value activities preventing to help her save face...