My plan didn't go exactly as I'd sketched it out, but I was close.
This is post is about planning, state control, and preconceptions that maybe some dudes will find useful.
Full disclosure - my fundamentals are tight at this point in my life as a man in his 30s... except for my sexy vibe. I've been sharpening that aspect of my game and it played a role in today's story, I think. Also, remember, this is just one girl, one approach, and it's going to take me a LOT more time to write this post than it took to dream up a plan and pull it off. So though I had targeted a particular cutie she didn't take up all that much of my time.
There's this deli where I shop at regularly. And on the weekends there is a cute girl who works one of the checkout counters: black hair, pushing 5'10, nose and eyebrow piercing. She never looks happy at work, doesn't chat with customers. Comes across as a bit of a cold chick. My initial read was that she thinks she's too good to be working there, dislikes her job, considers herself high value, and so on.
Two weeks ago she was checking out my groceries and I decide to just do a little chat practice.
"How'd you get stuck with a Saturday morning shift?"
"Oh, I work every weekend until noon."
I ask her a couple other questions and I can actually see her opening up. Body language changed. I don't push the interaction much further and take my leave.
I play the scene back through my head and start shaping a plan of attack.
The rough plan was based on her reactions and my re-examination of her as a person. Three sentences into the short conversation I could tell she wasn't a cold bitch. She didn't sound all that bright... kind of a slow talker. And, for a hot woman, she didn't come off as high value.
My read: she doesn't get approached by many men - at least not during the day. She was definitely not a firecracker type.
The plan: go back to the deli mid-morning, hopefully when it wasn't too busy, and I would watch for a gap where I could talk to her. I would chat her up, get her name, introduce myself, and suggest we go out for drinks and then ask for her number.
Today I executed that plan.
I was out late last night and was a bit hungover this morning. But I had told myself today was the day to see if a bit of preparation would pay off. I've been practicing getting into a chill and sexy state on demand with a bit of meditation practice, so I warmed up mentally on the drive over.
I walk in, notice she's working. There's a fairly long line-up at her till. I grab what I need, and circle nearby, judging the best time to check out.
Things almost went off the rails when I was in line. There are only two checkouts at this place. Hottie was dealing with a guy with a full cart. I'm in line behind him. Till number 2 looks like it will free up first, and there is a woman behind me. I saw that I might be directed away from hottie's checkout, so I put my stuff down, say to the woman behind me, "Forgot something" and walk away.
I circle away then come back, glad to see my gambit worked. Cutie is now free and the woman behind me is now being taken care of at the other checkout.
So far so good!
Now I needed to man up and keep chill.
She's checking out my stuff and the conversation goes like this:
Me: "Superbowl Sunday... watching the game?"
"No, I'm not into sports. I don't watch them."
I don't say much, just tilt my head and look at her.
Her: "Do you watch football?"
I shrug. "I like superbowl parties. My friend has a big party every year."
"Yeah, that'd be fun."
She seems relaxed. There's no rush because there's no line. All the same I know another customer can roll up at any time. Still, I try and keep a cool pace.
"I come in here fairly often but I don't know your name. What is it?"
"Ivana." I repeat it.
It's a european styled deli.
"Sounds european."
"My background is african and italian."
"A good mix," I say. And it also cleared up one of my questions about her. She looked like a woman who tans. And I've found that women who maintain that orange tan usually turn out to be girls I'm not interested in. Plus, what an interesting heritage for a hot woman. Lots of conversation topics to explore!
I introduce myself.
"What's your background?"
I give her a little smile and shrug "Plain jane."
The clock is now ticking fast. Time to close out this plan.
"We should go for a drink sometime."
"Sure," she says or something similarly affirmative.
"Give me your number."
She starts fumbling around with her apron.
"I... give me your's." She puts a bit of paper and pen on the counter.
"No, give me your's. Just write it down."
She starts to... then stops.
"I just text people. I can't remember my number."
Roadblock! Fuck! I don't get the feeling she's faking. It's not like I had to convince her thus far and she is still working. Realizing that this could get very embarrassing for her quickly I offer to write my number down. I do, adding my name.
"Text me," I tell her, say goodbye, and leave.
Not ideal, I know. I probably should have pressed for her number. If it had been in a social situation that's what I would have done. But things could have gone poorly if I'd pushed too hard to get a girl's number while she's working. Imagine if her boss noticed, risked auto-rejection, etc.
Now I have to wait and see if she's texts. If she does, game on! If not, then I can always go back to the deli with a different approach (persistence) - or just drop the game.
In review.
I liked having a plan, a process, going in. It helped tamp down any anxiety that might have built up otherwise. I got into state and maintained it, trying to project a sexy vibe without coming off as a horndog. That the plan didn't go off perfectly was fine, because I was able to adjust on the fly.
Also good to remind myself that attractive women can be normal, down to earth types. A high maintenance looking girl might not actually be that way when you speak with her.
Anyhow, that's my report. She'll either text back or not. I think I managed things well enough that she might take the leap.
This is post is about planning, state control, and preconceptions that maybe some dudes will find useful.
Full disclosure - my fundamentals are tight at this point in my life as a man in his 30s... except for my sexy vibe. I've been sharpening that aspect of my game and it played a role in today's story, I think. Also, remember, this is just one girl, one approach, and it's going to take me a LOT more time to write this post than it took to dream up a plan and pull it off. So though I had targeted a particular cutie she didn't take up all that much of my time.
There's this deli where I shop at regularly. And on the weekends there is a cute girl who works one of the checkout counters: black hair, pushing 5'10, nose and eyebrow piercing. She never looks happy at work, doesn't chat with customers. Comes across as a bit of a cold chick. My initial read was that she thinks she's too good to be working there, dislikes her job, considers herself high value, and so on.
Two weeks ago she was checking out my groceries and I decide to just do a little chat practice.
"How'd you get stuck with a Saturday morning shift?"
"Oh, I work every weekend until noon."
I ask her a couple other questions and I can actually see her opening up. Body language changed. I don't push the interaction much further and take my leave.
I play the scene back through my head and start shaping a plan of attack.
The rough plan was based on her reactions and my re-examination of her as a person. Three sentences into the short conversation I could tell she wasn't a cold bitch. She didn't sound all that bright... kind of a slow talker. And, for a hot woman, she didn't come off as high value.
My read: she doesn't get approached by many men - at least not during the day. She was definitely not a firecracker type.
The plan: go back to the deli mid-morning, hopefully when it wasn't too busy, and I would watch for a gap where I could talk to her. I would chat her up, get her name, introduce myself, and suggest we go out for drinks and then ask for her number.
Today I executed that plan.
I was out late last night and was a bit hungover this morning. But I had told myself today was the day to see if a bit of preparation would pay off. I've been practicing getting into a chill and sexy state on demand with a bit of meditation practice, so I warmed up mentally on the drive over.
I walk in, notice she's working. There's a fairly long line-up at her till. I grab what I need, and circle nearby, judging the best time to check out.
Things almost went off the rails when I was in line. There are only two checkouts at this place. Hottie was dealing with a guy with a full cart. I'm in line behind him. Till number 2 looks like it will free up first, and there is a woman behind me. I saw that I might be directed away from hottie's checkout, so I put my stuff down, say to the woman behind me, "Forgot something" and walk away.
I circle away then come back, glad to see my gambit worked. Cutie is now free and the woman behind me is now being taken care of at the other checkout.
So far so good!
Now I needed to man up and keep chill.
She's checking out my stuff and the conversation goes like this:
Me: "Superbowl Sunday... watching the game?"
"No, I'm not into sports. I don't watch them."
I don't say much, just tilt my head and look at her.
Her: "Do you watch football?"
I shrug. "I like superbowl parties. My friend has a big party every year."
"Yeah, that'd be fun."
She seems relaxed. There's no rush because there's no line. All the same I know another customer can roll up at any time. Still, I try and keep a cool pace.
"I come in here fairly often but I don't know your name. What is it?"
"Ivana." I repeat it.
It's a european styled deli.
"Sounds european."
"My background is african and italian."
"A good mix," I say. And it also cleared up one of my questions about her. She looked like a woman who tans. And I've found that women who maintain that orange tan usually turn out to be girls I'm not interested in. Plus, what an interesting heritage for a hot woman. Lots of conversation topics to explore!
I introduce myself.
"What's your background?"
I give her a little smile and shrug "Plain jane."
The clock is now ticking fast. Time to close out this plan.
"We should go for a drink sometime."
"Sure," she says or something similarly affirmative.
"Give me your number."
She starts fumbling around with her apron.
"I... give me your's." She puts a bit of paper and pen on the counter.
"No, give me your's. Just write it down."
She starts to... then stops.
"I just text people. I can't remember my number."
Roadblock! Fuck! I don't get the feeling she's faking. It's not like I had to convince her thus far and she is still working. Realizing that this could get very embarrassing for her quickly I offer to write my number down. I do, adding my name.
"Text me," I tell her, say goodbye, and leave.
Not ideal, I know. I probably should have pressed for her number. If it had been in a social situation that's what I would have done. But things could have gone poorly if I'd pushed too hard to get a girl's number while she's working. Imagine if her boss noticed, risked auto-rejection, etc.
Now I have to wait and see if she's texts. If she does, game on! If not, then I can always go back to the deli with a different approach (persistence) - or just drop the game.
In review.
I liked having a plan, a process, going in. It helped tamp down any anxiety that might have built up otherwise. I got into state and maintained it, trying to project a sexy vibe without coming off as a horndog. That the plan didn't go off perfectly was fine, because I was able to adjust on the fly.
Also good to remind myself that attractive women can be normal, down to earth types. A high maintenance looking girl might not actually be that way when you speak with her.
Anyhow, that's my report. She'll either text back or not. I think I managed things well enough that she might take the leap.
. If you come off as a natural/chill guy with a hint of sexiness, the girl will dig it, especially if she's one of those hot girls who probably don't get approached like that in person (probably gets hit on via facebook though 
