- Joined
- Dec 13, 2017
- Messages
- 17
So I met this girl on Blender who I have a lot in common with and even as a friend might offer more than most of my current friend circle.
She often drops logistic convs mid-way through and doesn't get back until 2 days later (multiple times, though usually she got back just before we agreed to meet except when she had to take her grandmother to the hospital and disappeared without a trace the first day I was supposed to meet her). She lives an hour away somewhere extremely beautiful in the mountains. I was going to have her come to my city to control logistics (when pulling her home after a hike or coffee). When her tires popped, I agreed to come up to her place. Another delay happens and the day we finally meet, her tires are fixed, but stupidly I still agreed to go up to her city as I wanted the beautiful drive, and she made it seem like logistics might work at her place. However we meet (the meeting went well, maybe not sexually framed enough but she seemed very excited to hang out again). I find out that her place doesn't work as her grandmother lives there, and she suggests that she come down Thursday to make dinner, play music, and watch a movie at my my place so that we become more comfortable with each other before going on a backpacking trip together the following day. I might have been able to push for her coming that evening, but I didn't because she seemed so genuinely interested in coming later in the week. I also didn't want to appear too inconsistent as I had said before that that the evening of our date would not work as well since I had work the next morning.
So I get home and start figuring out logistics. I ask what time we can head out backpacking Friday and she tells me the morning. During the date she almost seemed to imply we would be intimate by saying coming the evening before would allow us to become more comfortable together. So thinking it wouldn't bother her, I tell her if she comes to my house the night before, she might at well stay over (save 2-3 hours of driving), thinking it would be best to tell her so she brings all her camping gear. I don't hear back from that, but that is not unusual so I don't think much of it. I then send her logistical texts and some songs (she said we should trade songs) over the next two days without response and although I am annoyed, I don't think much of her silence. Finally, 48 hours later I ask if she can no longer make it, and the next afternoon I ask if I said anything to offend her and tell her that I wasn't assuming anything and have a couch (which I avoided saying earlier because I know that might friend zone me). A week later I ask her about a technique she told me about during the date. Now it is almost two weeks since we last talked.
I was thinking about sending two more texts then calling it quits. She told me that she felt flaky multiple times for her behavior in the past. I was thinking about sharing some photos of the backpacking trip I went on without her (they are stunning) and teasing her that "Just for the record I now consider you officially flaky ;D".
She also told me this story on our first date that happened recently in which she was kidnapped and almost died in a hospital. I feel like because of that she might be feeling nervous and unsafe around me. So I was considering using a line my friend used to get the interest of a girl that he just became intimate with: "I really appreciated your presence, you are/were seen" (my interest as well as his are both a bit hippie).
However talking to my friend I am starting to learn to pick up with (he has done a lot of pickup work in the past, but is now married), he told me to skip those two and send this instead: "Hello ____, heading to camp at the hot spring in a week or two, do you still want to join, or should I bring another girl? I don't want to waste any more of my time or yours" then nothing else. My friend said he had some success with this in the past, but it seems a little contrived and desperate sounding to me. What do others think?
She often drops logistic convs mid-way through and doesn't get back until 2 days later (multiple times, though usually she got back just before we agreed to meet except when she had to take her grandmother to the hospital and disappeared without a trace the first day I was supposed to meet her). She lives an hour away somewhere extremely beautiful in the mountains. I was going to have her come to my city to control logistics (when pulling her home after a hike or coffee). When her tires popped, I agreed to come up to her place. Another delay happens and the day we finally meet, her tires are fixed, but stupidly I still agreed to go up to her city as I wanted the beautiful drive, and she made it seem like logistics might work at her place. However we meet (the meeting went well, maybe not sexually framed enough but she seemed very excited to hang out again). I find out that her place doesn't work as her grandmother lives there, and she suggests that she come down Thursday to make dinner, play music, and watch a movie at my my place so that we become more comfortable with each other before going on a backpacking trip together the following day. I might have been able to push for her coming that evening, but I didn't because she seemed so genuinely interested in coming later in the week. I also didn't want to appear too inconsistent as I had said before that that the evening of our date would not work as well since I had work the next morning.
So I get home and start figuring out logistics. I ask what time we can head out backpacking Friday and she tells me the morning. During the date she almost seemed to imply we would be intimate by saying coming the evening before would allow us to become more comfortable together. So thinking it wouldn't bother her, I tell her if she comes to my house the night before, she might at well stay over (save 2-3 hours of driving), thinking it would be best to tell her so she brings all her camping gear. I don't hear back from that, but that is not unusual so I don't think much of it. I then send her logistical texts and some songs (she said we should trade songs) over the next two days without response and although I am annoyed, I don't think much of her silence. Finally, 48 hours later I ask if she can no longer make it, and the next afternoon I ask if I said anything to offend her and tell her that I wasn't assuming anything and have a couch (which I avoided saying earlier because I know that might friend zone me). A week later I ask her about a technique she told me about during the date. Now it is almost two weeks since we last talked.
I was thinking about sending two more texts then calling it quits. She told me that she felt flaky multiple times for her behavior in the past. I was thinking about sharing some photos of the backpacking trip I went on without her (they are stunning) and teasing her that "Just for the record I now consider you officially flaky ;D".
She also told me this story on our first date that happened recently in which she was kidnapped and almost died in a hospital. I feel like because of that she might be feeling nervous and unsafe around me. So I was considering using a line my friend used to get the interest of a girl that he just became intimate with: "I really appreciated your presence, you are/were seen" (my interest as well as his are both a bit hippie).
However talking to my friend I am starting to learn to pick up with (he has done a lot of pickup work in the past, but is now married), he told me to skip those two and send this instead: "Hello ____, heading to camp at the hot spring in a week or two, do you still want to join, or should I bring another girl? I don't want to waste any more of my time or yours" then nothing else. My friend said he had some success with this in the past, but it seems a little contrived and desperate sounding to me. What do others think?
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