A
Anonymous
Guest
A little info about me: long time lurker, just created an account. This FR happened on Wednesday, and was a step out of my comfort zone.
I had been sick all weekend and still felt generally crummy. I had to head over to the library before class to work on a project, didn't have time to shave or shower, and I was wearing my laundry day clothes, so I generally looked like shit. As I was looking for a spot to sit, I spied a cute brunette sitting at a table with earbuds in, and a bunch of guys at that same table working on something but obviously checking her out. I passed by and went over to my usual spot, but didn't find an open seat, so I headed back and sat directly across from her.
So I took out my laptop and started doing my own thing. My train of thought was something like "wow she's really cute ... I'll kick myself in the nuts if I don't try to talk to her ... wait no why would I talk to her in the library, it's probably creepy ... she probably has a boyfriend ... I look like shit ... blah blah blah ... "
And then she took off her earbuds and started packing up.
I knew that if I was going to try to do something, this was my opening. I noticed her water bottle and laptop bag both had the logo of a certain well-known company (our university has a pretty good program in my field of study, and our students/grads are heavily recruited for internships/jobs in the industry). So I made eye contact and said, "let me ask you a question,"
Her: "OK" and she smiled.
Me: "Did you intern at <company name>?"
She said "yeah" and looked kinda surprised, as if she didn't realize how I guessed, so I pointed out the company gear. She giggled a bit and and introduced herself, as did I. We talked about our majors (we are studying similar things but not the same degree). She also mentioned she was a senior but would be a super senior next year, and I was a super senior, so I told her she'd be eager to get out by next year. We talked about other stuff. I don't remember the exact substance of what we talked about, but I do remember she was holding eye contact with me and giggling a lot, even though I wasn't saying anything funny.
After a bit more conversation, Giggles had her stuff packed.
Giggles: "Well I'm gonna head out, it was nice meeting you Kronos
"
Me: "Nice meeting you too. We should get lunch."
Giggles: "... Lunch?"
She had a look on her face as if she knew exactly what I was up to, but wanted to make sure.
Me: "Yeah."
Giggles: "Why?"
That threw me for a loop, and I think this is where things started heading south.
Me: (with a sly smile) "For fun."
I know that was a pretty dumb answer, but oh well, it was the first thing I thought of.
Her: "Well ... I'm dating someone right now ... but we can still go as friends if you want."
I told her that would be fine. Looking back, that was a perfect chance for some chase framing, but by this point I had already resigned to defeat and went along with her lead.
So she told me she'd take my number and send me a text, so I put her number into her phone. She actually stuck around for a couple minutes more, and we kept talking a bit more about the same stuff as before I asked her out to lunch. She even asked about my opinion for which classes she should take if she wanted to gain some background in my specialization (which I thought was a bit odd, but whatever). Then, she was ready to leave the library, so she said it was nice meeting me, and that she'd send me a text, and left.
She never did text me, which I expected since I lost control of the situation and let her take the lead.
I have a few questions which I hope some of you guys could help me answer:
Insights
One last thing. I talked to my roommate about this, and he was pretty proud of me. I told him that maybe she was embarassed because I did that in the library, in front of all those other guys at the same table. But he told me "No dude, she must have been impressed that you didn't give a fuck what those other guys thought, and out of all of them at that table who were checking her out, you were the only one who had the balls to talk to her and to try to ask her out."
That really put it into perspective for me. Now, even though I know it was an implicit rejection, I don't feel bad about it. Every time I think about what I did, I can't help but smile and think "I finally grew a pair."
I had been sick all weekend and still felt generally crummy. I had to head over to the library before class to work on a project, didn't have time to shave or shower, and I was wearing my laundry day clothes, so I generally looked like shit. As I was looking for a spot to sit, I spied a cute brunette sitting at a table with earbuds in, and a bunch of guys at that same table working on something but obviously checking her out. I passed by and went over to my usual spot, but didn't find an open seat, so I headed back and sat directly across from her.
So I took out my laptop and started doing my own thing. My train of thought was something like "wow she's really cute ... I'll kick myself in the nuts if I don't try to talk to her ... wait no why would I talk to her in the library, it's probably creepy ... she probably has a boyfriend ... I look like shit ... blah blah blah ... "
And then she took off her earbuds and started packing up.
I knew that if I was going to try to do something, this was my opening. I noticed her water bottle and laptop bag both had the logo of a certain well-known company (our university has a pretty good program in my field of study, and our students/grads are heavily recruited for internships/jobs in the industry). So I made eye contact and said, "let me ask you a question,"
Her: "OK" and she smiled.
Me: "Did you intern at <company name>?"
She said "yeah" and looked kinda surprised, as if she didn't realize how I guessed, so I pointed out the company gear. She giggled a bit and and introduced herself, as did I. We talked about our majors (we are studying similar things but not the same degree). She also mentioned she was a senior but would be a super senior next year, and I was a super senior, so I told her she'd be eager to get out by next year. We talked about other stuff. I don't remember the exact substance of what we talked about, but I do remember she was holding eye contact with me and giggling a lot, even though I wasn't saying anything funny.
After a bit more conversation, Giggles had her stuff packed.
Giggles: "Well I'm gonna head out, it was nice meeting you Kronos
"Me: "Nice meeting you too. We should get lunch."
Giggles: "... Lunch?"
She had a look on her face as if she knew exactly what I was up to, but wanted to make sure.
Me: "Yeah."
Giggles: "Why?"
That threw me for a loop, and I think this is where things started heading south.
Me: (with a sly smile) "For fun."
I know that was a pretty dumb answer, but oh well, it was the first thing I thought of.
Her: "Well ... I'm dating someone right now ... but we can still go as friends if you want."
I told her that would be fine. Looking back, that was a perfect chance for some chase framing, but by this point I had already resigned to defeat and went along with her lead.
So she told me she'd take my number and send me a text, so I put her number into her phone. She actually stuck around for a couple minutes more, and we kept talking a bit more about the same stuff as before I asked her out to lunch. She even asked about my opinion for which classes she should take if she wanted to gain some background in my specialization (which I thought was a bit odd, but whatever). Then, she was ready to leave the library, so she said it was nice meeting me, and that she'd send me a text, and left.
She never did text me, which I expected since I lost control of the situation and let her take the lead.
I have a few questions which I hope some of you guys could help me answer:
- When she asked me "why?", what would have been the best response? I'm pretty sure that instead of trying to be vague or playful, I should have been more straightforward (e.g. "You're adorable and intriguing, and I want to get to know you."
- Do you think she felt the need to ask "why?" because I didn't project my intent clearly, or did she know what's up and just wanted to test me?
- When she said "Well ... I'm dating someone right now ... but we can still go as friends if you want.", should I have again been straightforward ("I don't want to give you any false ideas that I'm just trying to be your friend"), or should I have tried to spin it back on her ("We've only been talking for 10 minutes! You're gonna have to try harder to get me to ask you out for an actual date")? Or was the interaction pretty much unsalvageable at that point?
Insights
One last thing. I talked to my roommate about this, and he was pretty proud of me. I told him that maybe she was embarassed because I did that in the library, in front of all those other guys at the same table. But he told me "No dude, she must have been impressed that you didn't give a fuck what those other guys thought, and out of all of them at that table who were checking her out, you were the only one who had the balls to talk to her and to try to ask her out."
That really put it into perspective for me. Now, even though I know it was an implicit rejection, I don't feel bad about it. Every time I think about what I did, I can't help but smile and think "I finally grew a pair."
