a useful mindset for pulling the trigger

[Smith]

Hey guys,

Puling the trigger, like taking a girl's hand and lead her somewhere isolated or moving in for a kiss, has always been a sticking point for me from time to time. Today, I went on an instant date. I knew I should have just take her hand and lead her, but I was waiting for her to be more attracted so I can be more confident that I won't be rejected....I'm sure most guys have this mindset too...So I hesitated to escalate, even though I kept reminding myself "be outcome indepedent. It's an unconditional expression of yourself. Just do it.", but I ended up missing the window, and she said she has to go home. I was pretty gutted in the end for not following through. And I kept thinking to myself what's the mindset I can adopt to make myself more promotion-oriented and only see the upsides in situation like this. Then I remember something I read from Models about being polarizing and push neutral women to become receptive. So here's something I think that's a useful mindset to have next time you're about to pull the trigger: "I polarize neutral women to become receptive by showing my desire and women love that." That's it. No thinking about what would happen if she's not receptive, because it's not even your concern. You're training your brain to only see the upside of the outcome and ignore negative labels. I remember I used this method when I was starting out and it helped a lot when you have AA.

Hope this helps and let me know what you think!

Smith

 

[Bboy100]

I think that's a really cool mindset to have. In fact, I even remember a quote by David DeAngelo which really resonated with me: What she thinks of you is none of your business. I think what Manson talks about is kind of along the same lines.

Here's one other thing:

Less of a mindset change and more of a technique...make it natural and easy to move things forward. Case in point, one of my best date sequences:

I go to a park. Grab coffee there. For the first half an hour or so, I just chat, make her comfortable with me, etc. the only physical escalation I do is incidental touch. After I see that she's comfortable with me, I move her. I say: Let's go walk in the park.

We take a walk until we reach a bench with a beautiful outlook of the oceanfront near where I live. I don't even say anything. I just walk to the bench and take a seat. Now we're sitting side by side. On high points/when I make her laugh, I put my arm around her and gauge her reaction. If she's still stiff, I move my arm away. Rinse and repeat till I can feel she's relaxed. Then I just leave my arm there. After a while, I say:

Me: You can't hold eye contact can you?
Her: Yes I can!
Me: Prove it.

Now we're silently staring into each other's eyes. At this point, kissing her is very natural. In fact, it would be very strange if I didn't. This scenario is 100% easier than when I'm chillin at a bar with little to no physical contact and all of us sudden, its time to make a move.

Next:
We chat for a while longer. Then I start cuddling up even closer her. I playfully say "Btw, this is only cause I'm cold. No other reason." Now I'm really really close to her. Then I eventually move her into my lap under the pretense that "I'm still cold".

At this point, NOT pulling her would be awkward. Like, it only makes sense to ask her to come to my place after that.

Whereas, if I go on a standard date, not only is it more difficult to pull because i have less of a gauge for how she feels about me, but when I do ask, it probably throws her off cause the invitation seems to come pretty much out of no where.

I recommend that everyone have a date process which gives good plausible excuses for creating physical intimacy and ST. That way, making a move is EASY.