- Joined
- Oct 21, 2023
- Messages
- 364
Background
For those of you who don't know me, I started going out to do daygame alone since the beginning of 2024. It was really tough in the beginning and I started with the most basic thing which is asking for directions, asking basic informational questions etc. I practised stopping girls on the street first with these kinds of openers and then moved on to compliments and slowly started collecting numbers in the latter part of last year. I also attempted the 30 day challenge but could not complete it but got a date out of it. You can see some of my progress from my old posts on these threads here:
www.skilledseducer.com
www.skilledseducer.com
Sticking Point: Approaching Consistently
By the end of the year, I realized that my biggest sticking point that was still preventing me from getting success was my inability to approach sufficient number of girls per week consistently due to approach anxiety. After trying and failing over and over again, I came up with an ingenious system of circumventing all that resistance. After field testing it for 2 months with great success, I posted about my system here:
www.skilledseducer.com
I must say that this system is the sole reason I have had the opportunity to experience this success that I am posting about here.
Ghosts and No Replies
Using that system, finally I had started approaching girls regularly and as soon as I started to do that, I started getting numbers. But then I hit another wall. I had collected 6 numbers in the month of January all of whom ended up not coming out on a date with me. I must say I was on the brink of a crisis of faith and thought I must be doing something very wrong. By a stroke of fortune I came across this post on the GC site by Tony Depp
www.girlschase.com
This post gave me the encouragement to just keep going instead of judging my results prematurely and boy am I glad that I did keep going!
The Approach
I was out doing my approaches after work one day. I had already done 4 and was pretty warmed up when I saw this cute Asian girl walking slowly. I turned around, caught up to her and opened with my usual compliment opener telling her that she looked stylish. She immediately told me that she could not really speak English. Instead of just walking away, I just calmly repeated my opener with a smile in a slow manner and this time she understood smiled and thanked me. I then just continued to speak slowly just about basic things like where she is from, what she is doing here etc. I found out that she was a tourist and had been in my city for a few days and was staying for a couple more.
Resistance
Although the conversation had been basic, I had a smile and upbeat vibe that had rubbed off on her after a couple of minutes and she seemed more at ease. So I decided to go for the close. I asked her if she had been to a popular bar in my city and she said no. I told her that I could take her there for a drink one evening and this is what happened:
Her: We go to the bar? Me and you?
Me: Yes, I can take you there. Its really nice.
Her: No way! You are stranger. With you first time, no alcohol!!
That seemed like a blunt and rude rejection! For a second it fazed me but I just continued..
Me: Oh okay. Well, it does not have to be alcohol. We can grab a coffee or hot chocolate at a cafe.
Her: Okay. That is good.
Me. Okay then when are you free?
Her: Anytime, all time. I am here as tourist. No plan.
Me. Oh... How about right now then, we can grab a quick hot chocolate for 10 minutes.
Her: Okay sure. Where?
Me: Right around here there is a cafe I know.. Lets go..
And off we went. From what I thought was a rude rejection to an instant date in 30 seconds.
Instant Date
We then went to this cafe nearby that I knew. As soon as I asked her what she would like to have, she asked me what I was having and when I said hot chocolate, she told me she would also have the exact same thing. In the past, whenever girls have said this on dates, its always been a good sign so I took it as one and ordered for both of us. On the instant date we just spoke about our favorite music, movies, places we have travelled to and other such rapport building topics. However, just 5 minutes into the date, when I cracked a joke, she slapped me on my arm and I knew that that was a huge IOI. After around 20 minutes, I happened to mention that I had done MMA and Jiu-Jitsu before and this was a turning point. She was very interested in BJJ and knew the names of a lot of different chokes and other moves and her eyes lit up and she told me she always wanted to learn them and how she always longed to learn self-defence.
I made a note of this in my head to use as an excuse to pull later or at least change venues. After spending around an hour at the cafe, I suggested that we go out to a nearby park and I would show her some self-defence moves there.
Park
I took her to a nearby park and then in the guise of showing her self defence, I could get in all the kino and touching easily with zero resistance. I showed her the RNC, how to defend against wrist grabs, bear hugs from behind and a whole host of other things. She seemed completely comfortable and seemed to be enjoying it so I thought I could go for the pull. I suggested we take a small walk and talk more, she agreed and we started moving closer to my place. We then sat down on another bench and I thought I would try to go for the kiss. But as soon as I moved in, she moved away and told me that she is usually a clean girl and that just today she had woken up late and walked out of her hostel without showering and that she was embarrassed about it. I said it was not an issue and we continued chatting. I tried to get closer after a while and she moved away again and I could tell that she was clearly uncomfortable with this not showering thing but seemed to be really into me.
Therefore, I decided to call it a day and instead meet her tomorrow. I walked her back to near her hostel and said that the next day I wanted to show her a cool local bar and also that we could practice more self defence moves at a more conveninet location (though I did not mention where ) and she happily agreed.
The Date
The next day I finished work a bit earlier setup the date with her at around 4pm. I met her at a location that was very close to my place. My plan was to see the vibe and either meet her and just walk directly to my place or take her to the bar and then invite her to mine. I met up with her and we started walking and I said maybe I should first show you those Jiu Jitsu moves before we drink alcohol and she agreed and then she asked me where I am going to show them to her? And I casually said "Oh right here, at my place. We can just practice there for some time and then go to the bar which is just 2 minutes away"
She hesitated and asked again if my place meant "inside" and if it was my "apartment", I said yes and just let it hang. After a few seconds she just shrugged and said okay lets do it. And then we walked into my building and up into my apartment.
At my place
I just showed her around a bit as we went in and then she asked to use the bathroom. She was in there for a while and I was just casually laying down on the couch bed kind of thing I have. She then came back out and sat down but not close to me on the couch. We bantered for a few minutes, she looked around my place and asked me about some medals she saw that I had won for various things before and we talked some more. Then she got up again and got her phone from her bag and came over and sat right next to me to show me something on her phone. I knew that now I had to escalate.
I again used the Jiu Jitsu thing and told her I would show her some more moves and within like 2 minutes, we were making out. After a few minutes of that I went to take off her top and she did so enthusiastically but later when I went for her panties, she resisted and told me she was on her period and that she does not want me to see her like that.
And that point I know many guys would still say its okay and try to proceed but I am honestly not a fan of having sex when a girl is on her period. So I was like no problem and we went back to making out and just chilling. I was already super happy for having gotten so far that I was already content. It seemed like my non-chalant attitude seemed to have somehow inadvertently worked as a push though I was not intending to. After a while she volunteered to give me a handjob and then proceeded to do so and gave me a really slow and sensually long one that I thoroughly enjoyed.
The Bar
After having a good time for an hour or so. I was in the mood for a drink. So I then took her out to the bar anyway and we got ourselves some drinks and spent another hour having a nice conversation. It was during this time that she told me that on her travels many a times guys had come to talk to her in hostels etc but whenever she said she did not speak English, most of them just left and I was the only one who just kept talking to her slowly trying to make her understand what I was saying. She said that made her think that I really wanted to talk to her and that after spending just an hour at the cafe with me, she said she had a feeling that I "understood girls well" and was generally a "cool guy" and that she could relax around me.
It was great to hear these things. It felt like all the hard work I had put in for a year was being rewarded. Now that I have this experience, I really am excited about the future. The reality of just going out of my house, walking around my city on my own without any reliance on anyone and just talking to pretty girls I see and being able to get them on dates and back to my place is something amazing. Just the freedom of it. To think of all the things men do in order to get sex from women.
By the way, I spent absolutely zero money during this entire adventure. When I took her to the cafe for an instant date, when I went to take a leak, the girl paid for both our hot chocolates. I was surprised and asked her why she did this. And she was like I really enjoyed it and you brought me here and I wanted to show my appreciation. So for all those guys who bang on about needing money and cars to get girls, there you go. It was only after she gave me my HJ and we went to the bar that I bought her a drink for which she again thanked me profusely.
Conclusion
For me the biggest lessons I have learned so far is that cold approach is a long journey. It is the ultimate experience of "delayed gratification". Anyone who comes into this just as a way to get a quick date(s) or a girlfriend will most likely not last very long. This is slow process. You may get lucky and get a quick result but real change and skill in this takes time and patience and a crap load of dealing with rejection, frustration and doubts to build.
Recently while speaking to a friend, I said something when you do cold approach, you might meet and go on a date with the same girl that some other guy might find on a dating app and go on a date with. But there is a world of difference between the two guys and who they will become down the road.
One is a zoo lion and the other is the king of the jungle!
For those of you who don't know me, I started going out to do daygame alone since the beginning of 2024. It was really tough in the beginning and I started with the most basic thing which is asking for directions, asking basic informational questions etc. I practised stopping girls on the street first with these kinds of openers and then moved on to compliments and slowly started collecting numbers in the latter part of last year. I also attempted the 30 day challenge but could not complete it but got a date out of it. You can see some of my progress from my old posts on these threads here:
A Stoic Journey
Hey GC Forum. I am glad to be here. A place where we can discuss this stuff that is shunned by most of society. I am so happy this forum exists. A bit about me, I was extremely shy and had zero success with girls. Then I found the PU community in around 2015-16. I delved into it and read a lot...
www.skilledseducer.com
4 Approaches/Day (30 Day Challenge)
I need to get my priorities in order. The most basic thing that I need to do in order to get good at cold approach, is to GO OUT and PRACTICE this. Without that nothing else can happen. This ability to take "right action" and exercising willpower and making approaching a priority is the thing I...
www.skilledseducer.com
Sticking Point: Approaching Consistently
By the end of the year, I realized that my biggest sticking point that was still preventing me from getting success was my inability to approach sufficient number of girls per week consistently due to approach anxiety. After trying and failing over and over again, I came up with an ingenious system of circumventing all that resistance. After field testing it for 2 months with great success, I posted about my system here:
My System for Not Feeling Approach Anxiety!
After almost a year of approaching, I really feel I have come up with a system where I trick my brain and almost completely surpass feeling any anxiety to approach girls. Bold claim I know. 😎😄. But this is not about how I have grown to not care and how I have become a stone cold pimp. Its a...
www.skilledseducer.com
I must say that this system is the sole reason I have had the opportunity to experience this success that I am posting about here.
Ghosts and No Replies
Using that system, finally I had started approaching girls regularly and as soon as I started to do that, I started getting numbers. But then I hit another wall. I had collected 6 numbers in the month of January all of whom ended up not coming out on a date with me. I must say I was on the brink of a crisis of faith and thought I must be doing something very wrong. By a stroke of fortune I came across this post on the GC site by Tony Depp
How to Treat Ghosts, Flakes, and Rejections from Girls
Do you get WAY more rejections than dates? Well, it’s the same for even the best seducers. Here’s how treating rejection differently can help. Violets are blue, roses are red, without many options, seduction is dead. I’m a true poet. How familiar is this day-game situation? You approach a girl...
www.girlschase.com
This post gave me the encouragement to just keep going instead of judging my results prematurely and boy am I glad that I did keep going!
The Approach
I was out doing my approaches after work one day. I had already done 4 and was pretty warmed up when I saw this cute Asian girl walking slowly. I turned around, caught up to her and opened with my usual compliment opener telling her that she looked stylish. She immediately told me that she could not really speak English. Instead of just walking away, I just calmly repeated my opener with a smile in a slow manner and this time she understood smiled and thanked me. I then just continued to speak slowly just about basic things like where she is from, what she is doing here etc. I found out that she was a tourist and had been in my city for a few days and was staying for a couple more.
Resistance
Although the conversation had been basic, I had a smile and upbeat vibe that had rubbed off on her after a couple of minutes and she seemed more at ease. So I decided to go for the close. I asked her if she had been to a popular bar in my city and she said no. I told her that I could take her there for a drink one evening and this is what happened:
Her: We go to the bar? Me and you?
Me: Yes, I can take you there. Its really nice.
Her: No way! You are stranger. With you first time, no alcohol!!
That seemed like a blunt and rude rejection!
For a second it fazed me but I just continued..Me: Oh okay. Well, it does not have to be alcohol. We can grab a coffee or hot chocolate at a cafe.
Her: Okay. That is good.
Me. Okay then when are you free?
Her: Anytime, all time. I am here as tourist. No plan.
Me. Oh... How about right now then, we can grab a quick hot chocolate for 10 minutes.
Her: Okay sure. Where?
Me: Right around here there is a cafe I know.. Lets go..
And off we went. From what I thought was a rude rejection to an instant date in 30 seconds.
Instant Date
We then went to this cafe nearby that I knew. As soon as I asked her what she would like to have, she asked me what I was having and when I said hot chocolate, she told me she would also have the exact same thing. In the past, whenever girls have said this on dates, its always been a good sign so I took it as one and ordered for both of us. On the instant date we just spoke about our favorite music, movies, places we have travelled to and other such rapport building topics. However, just 5 minutes into the date, when I cracked a joke, she slapped me on my arm and I knew that that was a huge IOI. After around 20 minutes, I happened to mention that I had done MMA and Jiu-Jitsu before and this was a turning point. She was very interested in BJJ and knew the names of a lot of different chokes and other moves and her eyes lit up and she told me she always wanted to learn them and how she always longed to learn self-defence.
I made a note of this in my head to use as an excuse to pull later or at least change venues. After spending around an hour at the cafe, I suggested that we go out to a nearby park and I would show her some self-defence moves there.
Park
I took her to a nearby park and then in the guise of showing her self defence, I could get in all the kino and touching easily with zero resistance. I showed her the RNC, how to defend against wrist grabs, bear hugs from behind and a whole host of other things. She seemed completely comfortable and seemed to be enjoying it so I thought I could go for the pull. I suggested we take a small walk and talk more, she agreed and we started moving closer to my place. We then sat down on another bench and I thought I would try to go for the kiss. But as soon as I moved in, she moved away and told me that she is usually a clean girl and that just today she had woken up late and walked out of her hostel without showering and that she was embarrassed about it. I said it was not an issue and we continued chatting. I tried to get closer after a while and she moved away again and I could tell that she was clearly uncomfortable with this not showering thing but seemed to be really into me.
Therefore, I decided to call it a day and instead meet her tomorrow. I walked her back to near her hostel and said that the next day I wanted to show her a cool local bar and also that we could practice more self defence moves at a more conveninet location (though I did not mention where
) and she happily agreed.The Date
The next day I finished work a bit earlier setup the date with her at around 4pm. I met her at a location that was very close to my place. My plan was to see the vibe and either meet her and just walk directly to my place or take her to the bar and then invite her to mine. I met up with her and we started walking and I said maybe I should first show you those Jiu Jitsu moves before we drink alcohol and she agreed and then she asked me where I am going to show them to her? And I casually said "Oh right here, at my place. We can just practice there for some time and then go to the bar which is just 2 minutes away"
She hesitated and asked again if my place meant "inside" and if it was my "apartment", I said yes and just let it hang. After a few seconds she just shrugged and said okay lets do it. And then we walked into my building and up into my apartment.
At my place
I just showed her around a bit as we went in and then she asked to use the bathroom. She was in there for a while and I was just casually laying down on the couch bed kind of thing I have. She then came back out and sat down but not close to me on the couch. We bantered for a few minutes, she looked around my place and asked me about some medals she saw that I had won for various things before and we talked some more. Then she got up again and got her phone from her bag and came over and sat right next to me to show me something on her phone. I knew that now I had to escalate.
I again used the Jiu Jitsu thing and told her I would show her some more moves and within like 2 minutes, we were making out. After a few minutes of that I went to take off her top and she did so enthusiastically but later when I went for her panties, she resisted and told me she was on her period and that she does not want me to see her like that.
And that point I know many guys would still say its okay and try to proceed but I am honestly not a fan of having sex when a girl is on her period. So I was like no problem and we went back to making out and just chilling. I was already super happy for having gotten so far that I was already content.
It seemed like my non-chalant attitude seemed to have somehow inadvertently worked as a push though I was not intending to. After a while she volunteered to give me a handjob and then proceeded to do so and gave me a really slow and sensually long one that I thoroughly enjoyed. The Bar
After having a good time for an hour or so. I was in the mood for a drink. So I then took her out to the bar anyway and we got ourselves some drinks and spent another hour having a nice conversation. It was during this time that she told me that on her travels many a times guys had come to talk to her in hostels etc but whenever she said she did not speak English, most of them just left and I was the only one who just kept talking to her slowly trying to make her understand what I was saying. She said that made her think that I really wanted to talk to her and that after spending just an hour at the cafe with me, she said she had a feeling that I "understood girls well" and was generally a "cool guy" and that she could relax around me.
It was great to hear these things. It felt like all the hard work I had put in for a year was being rewarded. Now that I have this experience, I really am excited about the future. The reality of just going out of my house, walking around my city on my own without any reliance on anyone and just talking to pretty girls I see and being able to get them on dates and back to my place is something amazing. Just the freedom of it. To think of all the things men do in order to get sex from women.
By the way, I spent absolutely zero money during this entire adventure. When I took her to the cafe for an instant date, when I went to take a leak, the girl paid for both our hot chocolates. I was surprised and asked her why she did this. And she was like I really enjoyed it and you brought me here and I wanted to show my appreciation.
So for all those guys who bang on about needing money and cars to get girls, there you go. It was only after she gave me my HJ and we went to the bar that I bought her a drink for which she again thanked me profusely.Conclusion
For me the biggest lessons I have learned so far is that cold approach is a long journey. It is the ultimate experience of "delayed gratification". Anyone who comes into this just as a way to get a quick date(s) or a girlfriend will most likely not last very long. This is slow process. You may get lucky and get a quick result but real change and skill in this takes time and patience and a crap load of dealing with rejection, frustration and doubts to build.
Recently while speaking to a friend, I said something when you do cold approach, you might meet and go on a date with the same girl that some other guy might find on a dating app and go on a date with. But there is a world of difference between the two guys and who they will become down the road.
One is a zoo lion and the other is the king of the jungle!
