abundance -> absolute abundance blueprint

[DoWhatWorks]

Background​

Spoiler: Summary of story so far

I googled how to get girls at 13 and the rest is history. Was always friendly and likeable but leaned too nice guy. Couple optimizations and years later, I went from friend zones to keeping girls in FB zones. Now in a nice position to where I can reliably get laid when I decide to and have done across all games: day, night, social circle, online etc.

Something was missing​

Took a hiatus to focus on other things and couldn't articulate it but something was missing. New lays weren't as fun... FBs were simply annoying, I got bored of it all. Tried more out-there experiences, going outside my comfort zone but nothing really hit.

Missing Piece​

Realized after a lot of meandering vents (thanks to those of you who listened and helped... you know who you are), self-reflection, and chat GPT conversations (wish I was joking) I uncovered that lays with pretty girls didn't do it for me anymore. I wanted to more consistently date girls who were attractive AND very compatible personality-wise. It had happened before but I felt like I had no control and

the whole "sleep with loads of girls and let the numbers work out" seemed a half-truth. Volume matters, but you need to fish in the right waters.

From my experience offline > online and daygame > nightgame.

Things I've Tried (and Why They Didn't Work)​

• Screening harder early on: Doesn't work. Comes across too serious / boyfriend-like. Better to stay playful and non-judgmental and let the right girls float to the top. Otherwise, girls start shape-shifting into what they think you want.
• 
  
• Cold approach hard: Gets exhausting a lot of pure daygame guys I know do it in blitz, very few sustain it indefinitely and it's because it's taxing. Nightgame's a little better due to volume (when you select good venues) but for me wastes time even without drinking due to tiredness

What I Want to Avoid​

• Being 50 and still in a club. No disrespect to man like Skills who I've learnt a lot from and cleans up, but I'm already getting tired of it before 30 so that can't be my story
• Being 40+ and pounding pavements to hit on strangers as my sole way of meeting women... God forbid
• Online dating: I've seen the shift from purple hair, to hairy armpits, to now "spicy neurodivergent" — no fucking thank you. Decent girls are on apps but are harder and harder to find.
• Social circle: Red pill oversells this as a silver bullet. There's politics, limited pools, and not enough volume.

My Solution So Far (W.I.P)​

• Cold Approach: Unavoidable but less spam focused and more embedded into my lifestyle. Working from cafes 2-3x a week with minimum approach numbers during breaks. Having no girl bites when you're walking from cafe to cafe on your lunch break is chill but Saturday afternoon when that's my sole reason to be out? Pisses me off. Would rather be working, with friends, enjoying a hobby etc etc.

• Targeted Nightgame: Selective. Art gallery events open until 10pm, hotel rooftop parties closed by midnight. Interesting international crowds. I tried brunches as a potential solution but the girls there felt too basic for me unfortunately. Not a long-term compatibility fix.

• Different Group Events: Go to group events I genuinely enjoy and become a top guy within them. Warm intros and inbound that takes the edge off pure outbound cold approach. Also likely to get girls you're compatible with due to the pre-filter of shared interests. This is a key part of what makes the cold-approach side of things sustainable and life more enjoyable in general.

Cold approach brings sustainable volume and variety. Having several different groups brings me more consistent compatibility and prevents me burning any one group to the ground.

Group Event Types​

Definition: Group events are environments where there’s a substantial amount of women I can talk to with little effort i

Different types:

• Physical Events: hiking groups, rock climbing, infamous running clubs, yoga, sports, dance classes etc.
• Artsy Events: Painting, drawing, pottery, crochet, cooking classes there's actually a lot here that I was unaware of before,
• Intellectual Events: Book clubs, chess clubs (you'd be surprised), supper clubs, wine clubs, business networking etc.
• Third Spaces: Venues and areas where people go to chill, study, socialize e.g. [redacted not giving away my hard earned secrets], cafes in galleries, hotel lobbies, parks, food markets, vintage clothing markets

The hardest is finding the events/venues that have the cross section of:

1/3 things I'm genuinely interested in

2/3 high volume/turnover so I can sniper without building a rep

3/3 environments that naturally encourage interaction.


It's been a lot of research/trial and error but feel like I'm slowly but surely buiding up my personalized shortlist. TikTok is by far the best thing I've found for this, with Instagram and eventbrite distant 2nd and 3rd

Why This Makes Sense For Me​

This approach is very scalable. I could be 60 in Cannes partying at a rooftop restaurant in Cannes or a Yacht if I really wanted to. Same for hiking, cycling trips or Yoga retreats. Clubbing until 4am in a sweaty club or approaching girls in Oxford Street as my only ways to meet girls? I'd lose my mind.

I also know myself, when my social life is active and filled with things I can't wait to attend, my cold approaches are effortless, more enjoyable and I'm more magnetic which means I'd get good results with lower volume too. The better sleeping pattern gives me more longevity as well.

Closing Thoughts & Understanding your type quicker​

This is DWW's existing plan for absolute abundance, not yours. This is a work in progress and will probably evolve. Thought I'd share because I think this topic is disgustingly under-discussed.

Would love to hear from @MuST0BtA1NSkR1Lla and @Chad Tyrone @West_Indian_Archie as they're the few guys I've seen touch on the lifestyle side of embedding game.

Lastly A big part of my event groups and even targeted nightgame is based on me having a very clear idea of the girls I like. What helped me save months (possibly years) was

• Completing OCEAN personality Profile
• Completing Myers Briggs personality Profile
• Completing Enneagram personality Profile
• Star signs (if you're into that, I went from lowkey to shamelessly being into it)

Inputting all my results to chat gpt and asking it who I'm most compatible with. Shout out @topcat who put me on this. The results shocked me. It gave me profiles of very compatible girls in the past... Anyway ask it where these girls hang out in your city, what they get up to and you'll be able to build your own version of this if you want to.

Although to be honest if you don't have at least 20 lays then this whole exercise is mental masturbation and you just need to get your reps up.

Hope this helps someone, would have loved a thread like this 6 months ago

Onwards and Upwards x

 

[TomInHo]

Hmmmm this is really interesting

But I have to ask you... what type of girl are you actually attracted to?

I see you’ve got a lot of tactics laid out, and clearly a lot of experience

But when you look back at the women you actually had emotional connections with... what things did they really have in common?

Because it doesn’t sound like you’re just trying to rack up more lays anymore. It sounds like you’re more focused on meeting women you connect with emotionally more often

And I think the clearer you are about what you’re actually attracted to, the easier it becomes to design your life around attracting more of it

The personality test stuff was interesting too. But honestly, why not trust your own experience over theory about what you “should” like?

 

[Skills]

I think you should look for your path, and try different paths to see what is best for dww.... For me i tried all the stuff you talk about out, and field tested.... Unfortunately, i did not like it, and it was not for me nor do i envy any dude i know from my gen....

Everyone should try different paths and lifestyles and field test.... I love my lifestyle, after trying different ones..... And don't envy any other lifestyles...

field test and keep us updated..... But ultimately focus on what you want and makes DWW happy vs what other people are doing or want....

 

[Chase]

@DoWhatWorks,

Do you ever experience love at first sight? You know, the whole "wow OMG that girl; I must have her" lightning bolt out of nowhere?

I had a student (used to post here back in the day... @Laowai) who had a similar issue to yours. We'd go out, he'd meet girls, pick them up, shag, then the next time we'd talk he'd say, "That girl was nice but she just didn't do it for me," then, "This other girl was nice but didn't do it for me either," etc. etc. Other times we'd meet up, he'd flip through photos of all his lays since the last time we met, plenty of very attractive girls, but "none of them did it for him."

I asked him if he ever had love at first sight and he said he didn't think he ever had.

Hadn't even been in-love since he broke up with his first girlfriend a decade ago.

I wrote this article series at his request:

Falling in Love, Part I: How to Quit Fearing Romance

This one’s Part I of a 2-part special request for an old student of mine from Denmark. We had the opportunity to catch up, about a week ago, after not having spoken in a while. One of the things we discussed was love at first sight; in particular, how frequently we experience it and whether it’s...

www.girlschase.com

Falling in Love, Part II: Finding Love at First Sight

This is Part II of a 2-part series on reaching the point where you feel comfortable feeling emotion for women. You can read Part I, on ending your own fear of romance, here. In this article, we’ll discuss how to experience love at first sight... regularly. How can you train yourself to spot...

www.girlschase.com

LAFS is basically the "easy" way to find supremely compatible girls. At least IME.

I just interviewed @Devilicious yesterday and we talked about it a bit. He's had some LAFS lays and had amazing connections/relationships with those girls as well.

When LAFS is present, generally the "finding compatible girls" thing is straightforward.

When it's not it seems like it's like looking for needles in haystacks, if you ask me.

Chase

 

[empath]

@DoWhatWorks,

Do you ever experience love at first sight? You know, the whole "wow OMG that girl; I must have her" lightning bolt out of nowhere?

I had a student (used to post here back in the day... @Laowai) who had a similar issue to yours. We'd go out, he'd meet girls, pick them up, shag, then the next time we'd talk he'd say, "That girl was nice but she just didn't do it for me," then, "This other girl was nice but didn't do it for me either," etc. etc. Other times we'd meet up, he'd flip through photos of all his lays since the last time we met, plenty of very attractive girls, but "none of them did it for him."

I asked him if he ever had love at first sight and he said he didn't think he ever had.

Hadn't even been in-love since he broke up with his first girlfriend a decade ago.

I wrote this article series at his request:

Falling in Love, Part I: How to Quit Fearing Romance

This one’s Part I of a 2-part special request for an old student of mine from Denmark. We had the opportunity to catch up, about a week ago, after not having spoken in a while. One of the things we discussed was love at first sight; in particular, how frequently we experience it and whether it’s...

www.girlschase.com

Falling in Love, Part II: Finding Love at First Sight

This is Part II of a 2-part series on reaching the point where you feel comfortable feeling emotion for women. You can read Part I, on ending your own fear of romance, here. In this article, we’ll discuss how to experience love at first sight... regularly. How can you train yourself to spot...

www.girlschase.com

LAFS is basically the "easy" way to find supremely compatible girls. At least IME.

I just interviewed @Devilicious yesterday and we talked about it a bit. He's had some LAFS lays and had amazing connections/relationships with those girls as well.

When LAFS is present, generally the "finding compatible girls" thing is straightforward.

When it's not it seems like it's like looking for needles in haystacks, if you ask me.

Chase

Even I have never experienced love at first sight ever. Is there a reason why some guys don't experience it?

Atmost I have is feeling of appreciation.

Closest thing I have experienced to love is feeling of losing a girl. Where I was very close to laying her but couldn't because either I fucked up or situation was not conducive. Or I was unable to lock her down.

Its something you mentioned in this article.

How to Let a Girl Go

Are you stuck pining for or pursuing a girl you can’t get or have? Then you need to let that girl go. Easier said than done right? Well here’s HOW to do it. It’s not an uncommon position for men to find themselves in: there’s this girl a guy’s fallen for, and he just can’t let her go. I talked...

www.girlschase.com

I am yet to experience love one that triggers something positive in you.

 

[DoWhatWorks]

The personality test stuff was interesting too. But honestly, why not trust your own experience over theory about what you “should” like?

interestingly the girls I liked the most based on real life experience had 90% overlap with the theory:

Inputting all my results to chat gpt and asking it who I'm most compatible with. Shout out @topcat who put me on this. The results shocked me. It gave me profiles of very compatible girls in the past...

The reason why that's important to understand the theory (IMO) is because if you understand why things click you have more control on how re-create them. Whereas if you just depend on experience you're unconsciously competent and never consciously competent.

But when you look back at the women you actually had emotional connections with... what things did they really have in common?

Didn’t want to make the thread too long but mostly (NF) types in Myers Briggs: INFJ, ENFJ, almost exclusively.

This was consistent across a decade based on my real experience and girls from very different backgrounds.

You're right to emphasize Real world experience though as in theory I should click with ENFP but in practice these types don't do it for me long-term romantically. INFP works too but need more volume, I've had a couple (S) type girls who in practice worked out but in theory not meant to mesh but with those types long term I spotted gaps in them being more day to day and not getting my abstract way of looking at the world.

The girl I like is very nuanced and most guys would overlook her as being boring on the surface. Dresses classical and in trend without overly trendy, intelligent (one of the few attractive girls in her profession or education) whether that be engineering, or masters yet still has a creative touch to her E.g. photography, drawing, fashion, just as comfortable travelling solo as she is with close knit friends and would rather go to a gallery then a bar but can do both. May works as a UX designer, does Yoga & sells hand painted ceramics on Etsy.

Independent to a fault but melts for the right guy. Submissive with good frame but testyyyy if you slip.

I could go on and on lol but I’m very clear now. Also stastically my favourite type INFJ makes up 1-2% of the population which again backs up why I don't run into them often.

I know this forum dismisses theory and planning as overthinking but my contrarian view is a little thinking (in combination of plenty of action) leads to way better repeatable results.

field test and keep us updated..... But ultimately focus on what you want and makes DWW happy vs what other people are doing or want....

100% agree. I approach life this way in general. Will keep everyone updated.

I think it’s rarer for someone to document this part of the journey so filling the gap.

Most guys work it out in private or just compromise in a major way.

We also have a forum that’s filled with people who figured this out so long ago they can’t relate to it and new/intermediates so very few people at this stage right now.

Do you ever experience love at first sight? You know, the whole "wow OMG that girl; I must have her" lightning bolt out of nowhere?

This is the kind of insight of why I share this. Forgot about it, yes and when it does go well they become LTRs who stay in my life at least a couple of years.

First LAFS was from my breakthrough GF who was INFJ and I remember thinking how comparatively “easy” things were. She naturally did and acted 90% in the way I like. Very assortative mating because she even commented how I was "easy" too.

Very weird but only person I looked at and with full 100% confidence knew she'd become my GF. Not "try" I just "knew".

Second LAFS was an amazing MLTR who I've written about here before but who unfortunately I got bored of 3 years in.

Been getting it way less in recent years but I think while racking up lays I re-wired my brain to focus on “highest probability play” vs who gets me excited with no other variables. So will open up myself to that.

Also with more experience it just takes a lot more for girls to excite me. If I see a girl I really like I just logically break down what she’s done to her hair, outfit & make up almost like I see past the veil and "illusion" of this amazing girl.

Still a mindset shift I can make though, I probably get it more frequently based on energy vs looks alone.

Will check out @Laowai ‘s stuff as sounds he was in a similar boat and figured it out. Don’t think I’ve seen that yet.

 

[Chase]

@DoWhatWorks,

Very weird but only person I looked at and with full 100% confidence knew she'd become my GF. Not "try" I just "knew".

Yeah, I know what you're talking about.

It's like LAFS on steroids. Not just "gotta have that girl" but "I will have that girl."

I'm a believer in fate/destiny/etc. so can easily resolve that down to "well it was just in my life script and somehow a bit of it leaked through and I glimpsed it."

But if I wasn't I'd probably just chalk it up to ultra resolve; want something bad enough, and there's a fair chance you can will it into being.

Second LAFS was an amazing MLTR who I've written about here before but who unfortunately I got bored of 3 years in.

That can happen.

Not every girl is equipped to keep up with / keep challenging you when you're going places.

Been getting it way less in recent years but I think while racking up lays I re-wired my brain to focus on “highest probability play” vs who gets me excited with no other variables.

Yes. They're two different systems.

I would say IME it depends to a degree on what energy you're putting out.

When you put out a lot of "I'm a stud, looking to fuck now" energy, it's detectable... in your walk, eye contact, expressions, other body language. Girls on the same wavelength see it, signal, you pick those signals up subconsciously, then feel drawn toward them.

LAFS energy is more "I'm looking for an incredible girl I connect with on every level." That's when you start attracting more of those girls who are incredible and looking for a high level guy who is equipped to appreciate that.

You can run both systems at once. But "incredible girl" has to take precedence. No horny girl is going to turn you down because "he's looking for an incredible girl first, but he's a stud and he's picking up on my DTF signs." But incredible girls who pick up that your top level vibe is "let's fuck" just get turned off.

Might be what's happening with you lately.

Also with more experience it just takes a lot more for girls to excite me. If I see a girl I really like I just logically break down what she’s done to her hair, outfit & make up almost like I see past the veil and "illusion" of this amazing girl.

Still a mindset shift I can make though, I probably get it more frequently based on energy vs looks alone.

The looks part is kind of irrelevant to love at first sight, IMO.

Every girl you get LAFS for passes your looks threshold with flying colors.

Well, ALMOST every one... occasionally I'll get the ones where I'm like "This girl is not classically good-looking but I am incredibly attracted to her for some indefinable reason."

Most girls are wearing hair, makeup, fancy clothes, etc.

Good to look past that but with LAFS you're mostly focused on that magnetism you feel toward her.

Will check out @Laowai ‘s stuff as sounds he was in a similar boat and figured it out. Don’t think I’ve seen that yet.

He's got some stuff on the forum, but I'm pretty sure all our conversations about LAFS came over email or in person. So likely not too much on that here.

I think last we talked he had a girlfriend he was pretty into. So it did seem like he finally cleared that hurdle.

Gotta touch bases with him... there's a lot of folks I need to check back in on...!

Chase

 

[Chase]

@empath,

Even I have never experienced love at first sight ever. Is there a reason why some guys don't experience it?

It's always been somewhat of a mystery to me.

The closest I have been able to get to it is it is related to the energy / nonverbal signals the man is putting out, that the woman is then responding to somehow subconsciously.

But I'm not even certain about that, because I've had LAFS with girls I was 97% certain had not seen me. But perhaps they had and I just hadn't noticed (or had only noticed peripherally/subconsciously).

Anyway, you can see my remarks to DWW above... about what vibe you're going out with, and different girls reading that and responding to the vibe differently.

When I used to talk with @Laowai about it, I recall noting that he was a very laid back guy who did not really have a strong "mission focus" emanating off of him. I think we talked about that and he wasn't really sure how to cultivate it. Was part of what we talked about when we were talking about getting him sexier IIRC.

I dislike focusing too much on inner game, because it's harder to give actionable items on than outer game, but this is probably one of those areas that you really just need to approach from an inner game standpoint to solve.

You can't fake the signals of "looking for a truly awesome chick, and won't settle for less in a GF, because I know I'm worth it"; it just emanates off you from what you've got within.

Same with not being able to fake signals of "looking for a girl who's DTF & ready to pounce on that 100% and rail her brains out like there's no tomorrow"... either you're in that state or you're not. It's very detectable.

Chase

 

[empath]

@empath,



It's always been somewhat of a mystery to me.

The closest I have been able to get to it is it is related to the energy / nonverbal signals the man is putting out, that the woman is then responding to somehow subconsciously.

But I'm not even certain about that, because I've had LAFS with girls I was 97% certain had not seen me. But perhaps they had and I just hadn't noticed (or had only noticed peripherally/subconsciously).

Anyway, you can see my remarks to DWW above... about what vibe you're going out with, and different girls reading that and responding to the vibe differently.

When I used to talk with @Laowai about it, I recall noting that he was a very laid back guy who did not really have a strong "mission focus" emanating off of him. I think we talked about that and he wasn't really sure how to cultivate it. Was part of what we talked about when we were talking about getting him sexier IIRC.

I dislike focusing too much on inner game, because it's harder to give actionable items on than outer game, but this is probably one of those areas that you really just need to approach from an inner game standpoint to solve.

You can't fake the signals of "looking for a truly awesome chick, and won't settle for less in a GF, because I know I'm worth it"; it just emanates off you from what you've got within.

Same with not being able to fake signals of "looking for a girl who's DTF & ready to pounce on that 100% and rail her brains out like there's no tomorrow"... either you're in that state or you're not. It's very detectable.

Chase

Well thanks.

I don't have that I'm stud, I want to pounce now system with me.

Initially, its just running a process and see where it goes. Basically putting myself out there.

If during the conversation girls give a go ahead/ signals, like she is horny or dtf. Then I go into pounce mode. Gotta make it tonight. Mostly happens after a dry spell or if I run few bad dates where I knew I almost had that girl and I fucked up, so its now like when I have chip on my shoulder.

Can't releate with both.

I think its each man for his own.

Sidenote- i think it might be related to how present the guy is and confident on his skills level.

I'm mostly in my head. Issue unrelated to game are affecting my game. (Like not feeling manly enough because I can't win a physical fight against a dude, totally unrelated to game, tbh other girls don't know this, but I know it so I think why will she want me as a LTR it I can't protect her)

So maybe its headspace thing as well, you need to be in right headspace.