Abundance

[Estate]

Hey guys,
So after the resent "slump" I mentioned I've been doing well this weekend.
I think the slump was because I had gone home for a few weeks over the holidays. I had just finished things with one girl and since I wasn't around meeting anyone new I wasn't feeling good about it.
Anyway, since before the last weekend I've gotten out and got some numbers and set up some dates. The funny thing is I can see the idea of "abundance mentality". After getting the first girls number I felt good... like I was "back". Then I got a few more and weirdly I didn't even feel the same attraction for the first girls as I did initially. When I had one number I was thinking "Wow, thats great, I got a number, I'm gonna meet this girl again"... then I got a few more and began thinking "Hey, I have a few numbers now, I don't necessarily need to date ALL these girls, which ones am I REALLY attracted to".

It's funny how your mindset changes.

Anyway, I've been in contact with 7-8 girls over the last few days. There are 2 of them I am pretty into. I'm gonna see how far I can take it with them.

I'm not trying to get ahead of myself here but I have some questions about seeing multiple girls. It's not really something I've done before. The only times I've ever had more than 1 girl on the go at a time, I waited until I was able to pick one before I slept with anyone. It made me uncomfortable.

Now, I know it's all about setting expectations. If you are seeing more than 1 girl then you don't want to make them think you are exclusive. However, it's all about mindset. I know that even sleeping with a girl doesn't make exclusivity but at the same time I have a strange feeling about it. If I were to date one girl and sleep with her, I feel strange sleeping with another girl the next night. Or at least how to handle it. I mean, once you've slept with a girl but decide you now want to see someone else... how do you play something like this off without it coming off incredibly badly.

I know I just need a shift in mindset but this is all a little new to me. It's early days, I haven't done anything yet, just wondering.

Thanks!
E.

 

[Light]

Here you go buddy:

https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-date-multiple-women-zero-drama

You simply be honest with them, and tell them that you're not looking for a anything serious because you don't have the time for it.
Once you've got that out of the way, you won't feel so bad. They know what they are getting themselves into.

 

[Whizzy]

Since it sounds like you met them at a school just be careful of them being friends and/or finding out about each other and you're golden. While jealousy can work in your favor sometimes more often than not it will backfire

 

[Chase]

Estate-

Now, I know it's all about setting expectations. If you are seeing more than 1 girl then you don't want to make them think you are exclusive. However, it's all about mindset. I know that even sleeping with a girl doesn't make exclusivity but at the same time I have a strange feeling about it. If I were to date one girl and sleep with her, I feel strange sleeping with another girl the next night. Or at least how to handle it. I mean, once you've slept with a girl but decide you now want to see someone else... how do you play something like this off without it coming off incredibly badly.

Yes, expectations are key here. In addition to the Ricardus article Light linked you to, there's another one of his posts here I'd point out:

Don't Hurt a Girl: The Importance of Expectations

I also talk about these here:

Relationship Expectations: Kill Some Impulsiveness and Set Some of These Instead

... and here:

How to Start a Relationship with a New Girlfriend

The biggest one for multiple women you're seeing is NOT doing boyfriend-like things. Essentially, only have her come over for some talking and sex, and don't have her spend the night. Show her a great time of course, but don't make things couple-y.

As far as feelings of things being "wrong" in your head, that's a combination of your empathic expectations (e.g., you expect that women will be hurt by you not being exclusive, and it makes you feel bad) and your moral ones (e.g., whatever training you have from your youth about being exclusive with women). You want to set the right expectations from the outset, and that will relieve some of your empathic and moral guilt, but the rest of it simply needs to come from pushing through that and having enough experiences that you begin to see that you're not hurting women as much as you thought you would.

You may also find that dating multiple women isn't the right lifestyle for you and that you're forcing yourself to do something you don't really want. Try it out, but don't feel any obligation to lead a life that goes against your own personal desires or inclinations.

Chase