Acting Awkward For Attainability

[PrettyDecent]

Howdy gents,

Given enough approaches, empathy toward girls during the opener can take a tank dive. At least, this is what I've experienced. Almost like girls are on a conveyor belt, and even though you're "doing the correct steps" in the process, you're not putting any feeling or care into the opener or the interaction.

Of course, this looks really good for you. This girl is feeling a bit nervous (and probably a bit shocked still, if you went direct), and you're chill as a cucumber. You look really powerful.

But this can also be detrimental to you're Attainability for girls that auto-reject more easy. Almost like they think you're either a fake or creepy/socially unaware because normal guys can't just walk up to a girl and admit she's incredibly beautiful while being so calm - unless he has an alterior motive, or he's just socially unaware.

This is way more of an exception, rather than a rule. When most fellas wall up to a pretty gal, the guy's well nervous. Sweaty palms, shaky voice, all that spectacular stuff. And the girl can tell he's genuine, because he looks like a goddamn train wreck.

So something that can save an interaction from complete auto-rejection is making an awkward laugh during the opener, or a slightly nervous smile to add in that "genuine" edge back to you're openers/interactions.

More of a handy tool for girls that auto-reject easier, otherwise the super-chill vibe will do for all the other times.

Thoughts, comments, and critiques appreciated

~Nick

 

[Marty]

Hey Nick,

Does this work for you? Interesting idea.

More of a handy tool for girls that auto-reject easier, otherwise the super-chill vibe will do for all the other times.

I think this is the point. To be honest, Nick, I've found that any time I allow the slightest nervousness to creep in, I fail out HARD (this can happen, for example, if the girl turns out to be much, much prettier than I first thought when I opened her). Super-chill gets the super results for me.

And your tactic is to put "acted-out jumpiness" in deliberately, not to allow it to show through involuntarily. I think that's the difference. The girl can tell it's an act, and interprets it as a satirical poke at the stereotyped nervous man; she knows you're not really nervous

-Marty

 

[PrettyDecent]

Hey Marty,

Yeah, definitely an idea that needs fine-tuning in terms of its theoretical side and explanation. Part of the reason I toss these posts up is for discussion on why it works. And you're suggestions/deeper explanation is exactly what I was hoping for.

To be honest, Nick, I've found that any time I allow the slightest nervousness to creep in, I fail out HARD (this can happen, for example, if the girl turns out to be much, much prettier than I first thought when I opened her). Super-chill gets the super results for me.

And your tactic is to put "acted-out jumpiness" in deliberately, not to allow it to show through involuntarily. I think that's the difference.

Exactly. Super chill with super fundamentals is still the aim here. It's about balancing the tension so the girl doesn't feel the need to exit. I think Chase described this as (paraphrasing here) "being in a visibly good mood. You're just out going for a stroll or shopping when you decide to chat up this girl", to give a feel for what I mean. Not too serious. And perhaps "awkward" was the wrong choice of word; moreso, "light-hearted"?

Either way, the aim is reality-pacing - to not treat the girl like "just another girl you're approaching for the day", or that you're some player...but to add warmth.

This is a subject I feel I know more intuitively than logically, so you're logical input is much appreciated, Marty

~Nick

 

[Richard]

Nick,

This is can be both highly effective and highly dangerous as well.

I've experimented before with owning up to my nervousness and approaching despite being nervous (watched a 21 Convention video by a guy named Dharam a while back) - and it can actually boost your dominance and confidence because you're approaching despite being genuinely nervous. Even to this day when I approach I'll still get jitters and butterflies in my stomach but I can remain composed or choose to show those nerves (which are more of excitement than anxiety).

On the other hand - some girls might be turned off by the mere act of you walking up because you look nervous and girls won't see that as confident.

Basically - it's up to the individual girl to chalk it up as confidence or weakness

I love experimenting with it though.

-Richard

 

[PrettyDecent]

Rich,

Yep - either it amplifies the fact that a direct approach is incredibly confident (and that you're a badass for doing it), or makes you look like you're inexperienced with women in general (negative pre-selection). So go big or go home.

The success of this technique depends on many factors, so only intuition can tell you if it's the right move (unless Chase or Franco could elaborate?). If I just opened a girl and she was laughing nervously/awkwardly, I'd also do a nervous/awkward chuckle, for example.

Even to this day when I approach I'll still get jitters and butterflies in my stomach but I can remain composed or choose to show those nerves (which are more of excitement than anxiety).

Exactly. And even then, it's just a small blip of excitement. Cool that you get excited about girls; I don't get much feeling either way. Super low empathy...its really strange, but my approach to date ratio started soaring after my empathy level went down.

Cheers for the input, Rich

~Nick

 

[Godsninja]

I think it's something sort of a trait you get though enough experience meeting people and building your social skills. I could imagine that if a very pretty conservative girl who is very shy for whatever reason, were approached by an attractive suave man, that she might feel very...taken, and feeling on the positive side about herself, yet taken off-guard by an approach so quick, direct, and straightforward. I couldn't image how being awkward or nervous would help the guy, but I like how PrettyDecent said it, being 'light-hearted'.

I actually used to do this (be awkward) and I cannot see any way it would be a good thing. I believe a lot of girls are used to guys moving really slow, and that no matter how long we live out lives, the majority of guys and society will still behave this way.

If something like this ever happens (and I hope it does, cuz it gives you leeway) I'll make sure to focus my self and my intentions (conservative girls, gah, just my type). I'll lay back, take things in a nice and easy, super relaxed way, while engaging her, and getting her to invest little things. Move her, with her, then ask her to "wait here" while I go to the washroom, be modest, etc.

I'd try to get as far as possible, and aiming for an insta-date, then back to my place to go for a nice walk in the woods, then to my room, then to my bed, then grabbing her and then...

Woah, got a little lost in the moment, yea that's my handle !!!

Any takers on my way of things?

 

[Smith]

Hey nick,

The success of this technique depends on many factors, so only intuition can tell you if it's the right move (unless Chase or Franco could elaborate?). If I just opened a girl and she was laughing nervously/awkwardly, I'd also do a nervous/awkward chuckle, for example.

I've also found that just mirroring their body language has a big subconscious effect on them like you're on the same team. I think I read it in a self-development book as well and it works like a charm Once you started mirroring them, then you can start open up your body language and most of the time they will follow you.

I think Chase described this as (paraphrasing here) "being in a visibly good mood. You're just out going for a stroll or shopping when you decide to chat up this girl", to give a feel for what I mean. Not too serious. And perhaps "awkward" was the wrong choice of word; moreso, "light-hearted"?

Either way, the aim is reality-pacing - to not treat the girl like "just another girl you're approaching for the day", or that you're some player...but to add warmth.

yes I agree. always have a higher objective than the girl, i.e. having fun, then you're just merely inviting the girl into your reality.

-Smith

 

[Chase]

PD-

Exactly. Super chill with super fundamentals is still the aim here. It's about balancing the tension so the girl doesn't feel the need to exit. I think Chase described this as (paraphrasing here) "being in a visibly good mood. You're just out going for a stroll or shopping when you decide to chat up this girl", to give a feel for what I mean. Not too serious. And perhaps "awkward" was the wrong choice of word; moreso, "light-hearted"?

Yeah, I think that's a better description of it.

Calling it "awkward" is a little confusing, because then you get guys who are genuinely nervous thinking it's okay to act genuinely nervous around girls or tell them they're genuinely nervous. I remember this was a "thing" in PUA for a while; guys were on a big radical honesty kick and were all about "if you're nervous around a girl, just tell her! Chicks eat it up," but I always felt like that was more reactions than results. I saw a lot of "she started complimenting me, and giving me pointers, and..." stuff that you see when guys are low value, high attainability. I only remember a couple of lays from guys talking about doing this, usually with more experienced women of the sort who get a kick out of sleeping with inexperienced guys they can lead around a bit.

What you're really going for here is "unrehearsed", I believe; guys go through a curve learning things with girls that usually looks like this:

• 1. Awkward (poor results, or girls being nice out of sympathy) -->
  
  2. Comfortable (decent results, some girls genuinely interested) -->
  
  3. Smooth (decent results, some girls interested, some turned off because "too smooth") -->
  
  4. Slick like extra virgin olive oil (worse results than #3, comes across like a showman / overly polished) -->
  
  5. Toned down, more natural, with pauses and "Hmm, let me think what to say" moments thrown in (awesome results)

When you hit point #4, it's usually confusing, because you FEEL like you've got it down even better than you did before, and you aren't stumbling and making mistakes like you used to, yet you can also tell your results are less good and less consistent. It can seem a little mystifying.

Once you realize it's happening though, you just focus on adding in more pauses, putting your eyes up into the corner to "think" about what you're about to say, a little more "umming" and "ahhing" or other thoughtful sounds or gestures, and it makes it more natural, even if you're saying the same thing you've said a thousand times to a thousand different girls. It's a bit of an act, but it's an enjoyable one for both of you. I think it's best if she's somewhat unsure if it's actually an act or not, because this enhances the intrigue on her end and also makes you seem like you are quite possibly operating at a higher level of awareness socially than she is, which is a turn on.

Chase

 

[Godsninja]

That's some pretty good stuff Chase, definitely article worthy. I think a lot of guys get unmotivated by this idea (I know I do). It's a new take that really explains things more, better than a 'plateau' at least. It doesn't make sense for your results to be worse during a plateau, whatsoever, but this really hits the nail on the head. Definitely must be stickied.