Advice to Brown guys in the USA from a successful Indian guy himself.

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

About me:

I would consider myself somewhat of a mix between a late bloomer and a natural. Didn't have much interest of doing well with girls in high school but as soon as I went off to college, I ended up getting some attractive girls for relationships and ONS. I look ethnically Indian and I didn't really consider coming to any dating site for advice until I started facing some hostile reactions for dating a white girl. You see, I met her college, took her to visit my parents, went back to the town I went to high school in (which was mostly minority and small amounts of white people), and I faced a few hostile situations for being with her. Some of these situations involved open racism and I heard some racist shit growing up, realized that us Indian guys have our own struggles in the United States. Came across this site after doing a google search (not even sure what I searched, it's been so long) and ever since, I've agreed with a lot of the stuff on here.

The guys on here who say I am being negative, I understand that they have their views and are just trying to help but I come from the position of being an Indian guy who has had to live through some of the negative experiences. I've known a lot of success Indian men and a lot of unsuccessful Indian men, have noticed differences between them. This guide can also apply to guys who look Indian as well or have been confused for it a lot.

Now lets get to to the guide, before you read this though, decide what you want:

Do you prefer to strongly date Indian girls or other brown girls? If so, then just follow the advice that girlschase gives on fundamentals and being the best version of yourself. This guide has advice for you but likely won't help you that much.

Are you one of those Indian guys that wants to date hot girls of other races? Especially white girls? Keep reading.

The truth is, you'll have to do some things differently from a white guy if you want to go for other races.

The thing about being a white guy in the USA is that you just mostly do well with women in just about any given city or region just by having tight fundamentals and being the best version of yourself. A lot of guys on here who are white are oblivious to this privilege but the truth is, guys who look ethnically Indian do not have this privilege. Being that Indian men are not that well represented in American media or are mostly represented in a negative way (which is now starting to change), there are going to be a sizable number of American women who just do not like the idea of getting with a guy that happens to be Indian. I think it is important to address this issue so we can better tackle it.

1. Counteract the other stereotypes and please don't try to one-up people in social situations.

Having a nerdy look might work if you're white or black but it does not work for Indian men at all. The stereotypes that women commonly have against Indian men is that we are nerdy, shy, and awkward (Raj from Big Bang Theory). To counteract this stereotype, be more extroverted and try to emulate a guy like Kumar from Harold and Kumar. I have found that Indian guys at my university who have success with hot girls of other races tend to have this almost douchey personality to them. The second you start acting the opposite of the shy and socially awkward Indian guy to someone like Aziz Ansari or Kumar, you're going to turn heads and some girls are going to want a piece of you!

I've seen cases of Indian men just trying to "one-up" the other guy and it gets frustrating, do not do this! Create an athletic lifestyle for yourself as well, join some club sports and get involved.

2. Get a diverse circle of friends.

I have never met an Indian guy that did well in the game while having mostly Indian friends, these guys were only having success with Indian girls. On the other hand, the Indian guys I've known who did well usually had friends of various races and a lot of cool guys in their circles. At my college, the Indian guys that a lot of white frat bro type of guys have a positive opinion of tend to be the ones who hook up with some of the more attractive girls of other races. I guess this could also be because these Indian guys usually tend to have top tier social skills and look the part as well.

3. If you had typical Indian parents, your confidence is lacking and therapy might be needed.

The typical Indian parent pushes their kid into being a doctor, ignoring dating, and work on all of the social skills stuff later on in life. A lot of how your parents raised you has a big impact on how you see the world itself. I would say that a good number of Asian and Indian kids suffered from having "helicopter parents" that micromanaged their lives, for this reason you would be wise to realize that issue and work around it. Therapy might be needed as well, not saying all of you should get it but keep it in mind. A lot of your confidence issues, bad outlook, and low self-esteem come from the way your parents raised you.

4. Location is HUGE, you would be wise to avoid Indian heavy areas of the USA.

I grew up in an area of California with a very high Asian and Indian population, it was mostly unheard of to see white women dating Indian men and a lot of Indian women who were born there typically went for guys of other races. Indian men usually had a lot of strikes going against them before they even opened their mouths and it was slim pickings as well. As a whole, I can say that this is true for most areas of the USA where the Indian population is massive. Indian guys would be very wise to avoid places like Northern California, New Jersey, and other areas of the USA where the Indian population is just a massive part of the city.

The thing is, a lot of the girls being raised in these areas see the worst sides of Indian men and Indian culture. The Indian guys they see are fresh off the boat immigrants with backwards view of women so even a westernized Indian guy that looks good will suffer from some of the negative stereotypes. I've actually met more Indian guys who have had success in the game over in places such as Arizona and Texas as opposed to San Francisco. This is why I would love for more successful Indian men to share their stories and talk about where they had a lot of success vs. where they didn't. Even the newer, sexier, and more socially calibrated version of me would struggle a lot in a place like San Francisco.

So far, this is all I have, maybe others can share their wisdom too.

 

[Blessed]

Indian women are just as beautiful as some of the white girls... Why not target them as well?

 

[Drck]

I'm white but agree with Kenshin, it makes sense. Saying that color makes a difference (how much, we don't know) doesn't always imply racism. Saying that we should forget color, focus on fundamentals and stop making excuses is not optimal approach either, it clearly shows that there are lots of people who don't understand this issue and thus avoiding it for whatever reason...

Anyway, just curious, can any of you guys write more about Indian girls? Similarities with white girls, but also differences (cultural, religious, approach to dating,... ) Thanks

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

I'll say this here about Indian guys going for Indian girls, they will not be in these communities, period. Indian guys looking to get into communities like this are looking to go interracial, with white girls in particular. The how to get Indian girls guide will be for another thread (please do not put that on this one), this is not the thread for it at all, this is a thread on how to succeed with girls of all races as an Indian guy in the USA and by pure statistics, most of those girls are going to be white.

Going for white girls as an Indian guy is different than going for Indian girls as a white guy, playing the game in general is somewhat different as well. The thing is, while girls of minority groups have an incentive to go for white guys, white girls have no incentive to go for guys of minority groups, especially Indian men. Indian guys have to significantly take other factors into account and the main one is location. So in a way, if you are a decent looking white guy with tight fundamentals, you can practically get hot girls of any race. A decent looking Indian guy with tight fundamentals will struggle to get hot white girls if he is in the wrong location or setting.

A handsome white guy with game and tight fundamentals can do well almost anywhere in the United States, he is the go to option for most women. A handsome Indian guy with game and tight fundamentals will still run into areas of the USA where he will not be able to do well. I think it is important for Indian men to keep these areas in the back of their heads, Northern California and New Jersey are some of the major ones. This is a topic that I think could use more discussion and would be further helped by more successful Indian men coming into this thread and sharing their success stories. When you're a guy of a minority group, especially Indian, location plays a massive role in how successful you are at getting hot girls.

I've met Indian guys in the Bay Area who had good looks, six figure salaries, and game but still went home empty handed for the most part because women in the Bay Area just don't like Indian men. On the other hand, I have met Indian men in places like Arizona who didn't have the six figure salary or male model looks (they did look decent though) yet still managed to date some drop dead gorgeous girls of all races.

 

[ray_zorse]

I think it's a handy summary of what was in the other thread, and like others I have no issue with the advice. It seems like a no-brainer that if you want to be a generalist in pickup you need to be a generalist socially. But I cannot help thinking your guide relates more to social circle or college game than cold approach pickup. Clearly if you are a nerdy guy who hangs out with only other nerdy guys of your own race you'll find cold approach pickup challenging because it's socializing with people dissimilar to yourself that builds confidence and makes you comfortable in diverse social situations. BUT: Cold approach pickup is basically the magic bullet for shy nervous guys to improve their women skills. It's simply a matter of how many women you approach and how hard and smart you work. If you take this path then a diverse social circle is simply the icing on the cake and will help you improve faster. Also you can build social circles through cold approach, although it is not as easy as one-on-one interactions and you must be patient and persistent to find the people you want to hang with.
Ray

 

[Richard]

Kenshin,

Just a question.

How do you know these white women are rejecting you because you're Indian?

-Richard

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Ray:

It relates to cold approach as well, especially the style and location part. Let me give you an example about a Middle Eastern guy I know who loves blonde women. When he lived in one area of Europe where the Middle Eastern people was high, he did not have much luck with cold approaching blondes because most ignored him. They saw him as just another Middle Eastern guy trying to harass them so he was ignored even though he was far from the stereotype. Later on, he moved to another city where men of his race were not as common, he had a lot more success getting good reactions from hot blondes because they now saw him as an exotic man rather than just another Arab.

Same with Indian guys in the USA. Indian guy in Texas? Exotic man that gets her interested. Indian guy in San Francisco? Typical foreigner who thinks he has a chance with her royal high whiteness.

Same with style, an Indian guy with a jocky look will do a lot better than one with a nerdy look.

Richard:

I've done well enough in the game to where I have not had to deal with this issue as much. The issue I had to deal with is racism after I am in an LTR with a white woman.

One thing I will mention on this topic, just look around in the area, it should give you a good idea of things. When I lived in Nor Cal, it was extremely common to see white men with Indian women. There were plenty of successful, handsome, and westernized Indian men in the area but it was very rare to see them with white women even though plenty wanted white girls. You regularly saw average and plain white guys with dorky personalities getting cute white girls, same with overweight black guys, they had a lot of success too.

In that case, I would strongly tell all Indian guys who like white girls to stay far away from the bay area because the truth is, white women there are just against the idea of dating an Indian guy. As an Indian guy himself who used to date a good looking white girl he met in college, I received a lot of racism and open hatred for it. People could not wrap their heads around why a good looking white woman would date an Indian guy.

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Just wanted to add this, as a guy who lives in Washington (the state), it seems like Indian guys here do AMAZING. Like being Indian here is no knock on you at all, lots of girls here like them....