Long-Term After dating lots of girls, whats the end game?

[mstrveo]

Hey guys,

Hope this post is not going to be too long! I hope you guys can understand my story.

I started reading the articles here about a year ago, I follow the techniques, review myself and I have had a quite a successful year so far. I have been dating/sleeping with lots of girls, and I still do. This site changed my life, my view, my instincts and senses.

Here's the thing, on average I would see the same girl 1-3 times, we'd go out for dating/have sex etc, usually by date 3 or after .. the texting will fade, and we just kinda don't talk, and then the new girl will be inline, which is very normal and no hard feelings. BUT, there is this girl, lets call her G here. who I have been seeing for few months, we had sex very early on and it was extraordinary.. we stopped seeing each other after a few dates and she went on to date someone else, because I didn't pull any moves after sleeping with her. Anyway, a few months after she broke up and started talking to me again, and she admitted that she liked me all the time..well I also have some feelings for her, but no like the relationship type feeling, more like the sex was so good type of feeling.

So we started dating again beginning this year, until now. When we first started I told her we would still be dating other people and she agreed. Since seeing other girls is not a restriction for me, I find myself not doing a lot of it, I mostly just text girls but rarely meet up (Before all these I would be seeing a few girls a week).. I only had sex with a one girl since dating G casually.

And the whole time, I knew G likes me (She actually said she loves me not long ago), and shes growing on me too..but I held myself together, still being a freeman until now. She's not the prettiest girl, still good looking, shes smart, funny, and we have great conversations, she's low maintenance, we are compatible in many levels, she would be interested in my stuff and asks good questions and most importantly the sex is so good, i think its the best I had with any other girls, including all my exs. And I can say I'm quite happy with her.

I don't have a problem with getting girls now, thanks to the forums and the articles! But here and then I wonder, what is the goal? When do you stop? I know everyone has a different view, some wants to keep meeting beautiful girls, some wants to meet the one and settle down. I think the reason for me not seeing many girls these day because I do have feelings for G, and I don't want her to feel bad. She told me she doesn't want me seeing other girls but I still have the right to, that's her words. In the beginning she was seeing other guys too but she stopped after we dated for a while..I'm just at a very confused state right now, if I should be with her exclusively. Because I can always ask a new girl out but I have this guilt in me, somehow...How do you guys tell when you are ready? When you are ready to give up the forest for the tree?

Sorry English is not my first language, I hope you guys can understand my post and let me know what you guys think or you need some clarification, especially my wording and structure.

Thank you guys!

 

[Franco]

mstrveo,

If you haven't tried monogamy before (or at least after discovering GC), and it's something you're interested in, and you've found a girl you really like, then you should give it a shot with her!

Assuming you're in a solid place of "abundance" with women, then it's worth trying out different things to see what suits you best. To be honest, everyone often wants different things at different times, so the answers you would get from different people are going to vary because they are just going to tell you what they want thinking that's what you should want too. However, that is absolutely not the case! Your preferences are going to change over time, and for some people they even end up being cyclical (i.e. you wanted to be single and date lots of women, and now you only want to date G, but maybe 2-3 years from now you'll want to be single again).

I think the most important thing to ask yourself is: "if I decide to get into a relationship with G and things don't work out, am I good enough to go back out and start meeting new women again without too many problems?" If the answer to this is "yes," then I would say you should give a relationship with G a try and see how it feels! If you're enjoying it, then continue to do it until it ends, whether that be 2 years from now or 20. If the answer is "I'm not sure" or "no," then maybe you aren't quite ready for a relationship yet and you should work on dating more women until you feel comfortable meeting awesome women regularly enough that you're not worried about the end result of a relationship (good or bad). You know that you can easily move from great girl to great girl without too many issues.

Anyway, it sounds to me like you would like to get more serious with G and she would like to get more serious with you. If that sounds like something that would make you happy at the moment, and your answer to the above question was "yes," then my advice would be to give it a shot and see where it goes. You may find that G is a wonderful gal and she makes you happy for many years to come.

Cheers,

Franco

 

[Sub-Zero]

Hey Franco,

Do you think that there's a certain age to settle down or should we just keep getting better with women until we reach abundance? I'm at the point right now where people expect you to settle down and not game women. I'm also in a deep depression thinking I should just settle down because people keep talking about how hard the game is when you get older and you better settle down because you not gonna find any girls easier when you're older, so scoop up the best girl you can before you run into the single mother's or unattractive girls.

I'm sure you'll say to continue pick up, but wanted your opinion, maybe the people saying this stuff aren't pimps like they say they are.

What is the level of abundance you speak of ? How many lays and how good do you have to be to reach it?

mstrveo,

If you haven't tried monogamy before (or at least after discovering GC), and it's something you're interested in, and you've found a girl you really like, then you should give it a shot with her!

Assuming you're in a solid place of "abundance" with women, then it's worth trying out different things to see what suits you best. To be honest, everyone often wants different things at different times, so the answers you would get from different people are going to vary because they are just going to tell you what they want thinking that's what you should want too. However, that is absolutely not the case! Your preferences are going to change over time, and for some people they even end up being cyclical (i.e. you wanted to be single and date lots of women, and now you only want to date G, but maybe 2-3 years from now you'll want to be single again).

I think the most important thing to ask yourself is: "if I decide to get into a relationship with G and things don't work out, am I good enough to go back out and start meeting new women again without too many problems?" If the answer to this is "yes," then I would say you should give a relationship with G a try and see how it feels! If you're enjoying it, then continue to do it until it ends, whether that be 2 years from now or 20. If the answer is "I'm not sure" or "no," then maybe you aren't quite ready for a relationship yet and you should work on dating more women until you feel comfortable meeting awesome women regularly enough that you're not worried about the end result of a relationship (good or bad). You know that you can easily move from great girl to great girl without too many issues.

Anyway, it sounds to me like you would like to get more serious with G and she would like to get more serious with you. If that sounds like something that would make you happy at the moment, and your answer to the above question was "yes," then my advice would be to give it a shot and see where it goes. You may find that G is a wonderful gal and she makes you happy for many years to come.

Cheers,

Franco

 

[Franco]

SZ,

Do you think that there's a certain age to settle down or should we just keep getting better with women until we reach abundance? I'm at the point right now where people expect you to settle down and not game women.

These days, I don't let literally anyone dictate what I *should* do because what they say is often incorrect. I make my own decisions based on the information that I have available to me and my own thoughts and analysis.

So my answer to that question is, "no, there is no certain age you should settle down unless you make the decision to settle down on your own." My personal recommendation would be to get good with women first and reach at least a minor level of abundance so that you don't find yourself in a rut if your relationship goes south.

I'm also in a deep depression thinking I should just settle down because people keep talking about how hard the game is when you get older and you better settle down because you not gonna find any girls easier when you're older, so scoop up the best girl you can before you run into the single mother's or unattractive girls.

Lol.

That's pretty awful advice then because, from what I've seen, it's the guys who stay in the game longer than the average bear who start pulling the best women with relative ease. Women are generally more attracted to older men, and the guys I see cleaning up with women are usually in their mid-30s.

That being said, don't just think that because years are passing by that you automatically "upgrade" and get more attractive and that women will hit on you more -- these guys just continued to approach and date women throughout their entire 20s and early 30s, so their experience levels are super high and their game is very solid. You'll notice that a lot of the guys doing well with women in their 30s come across as extremely relaxed and easy to talk to; they aren't as worried about minor details anymore because they have enough experience to navigate even the toughest terrain.

If settling down is what you want to do, then that's a different story. But it has to come from YOU and not from other people. Do YOU want to settle down right now? Or do YOU want to go out and date lots of women still? That's your choice.

What is the level of abundance you speak of ? How many lays and how good do you have to be to reach it?

You can't put a number on it -- it's not a number... it's a mindset. It's the feeling of, "I know that if this relationship doesn't work out, I can go out and start sleeping with new women within a few weeks and potentially replace this girl with another great girl within a few months." If you can honestly say that to yourself and believe it, then you're there. If you can't say that to yourself and honestly believe it, then you're not there.

It's going to be different for different guys. I actually don't have an extremely high lay count, but I'm relatively there. I know guys who have dozens more lays than I do, but they are not there. So it really depends on you, your own personal progress, and your mindset.

- Franco

 

[Sub-Zero]

Thanks for the reply.


Yeah I'm no where close to settling down haha. It's just I have times where depression hits and I tend to take things to literal and I forget when I hear these things from other people they aren't like us on here, I truly feel we are high value people that think different, I just have to get use to not taking what they say seriously.

There was one thing that has been bugging me since I read chase's article years ago about older men dating younger women and I hope you could clarify that for me. He said by around mid 30s you should have a business, be retired, or be reasonably high up at your work. But I didn't know if that meant that if you didn't have those things you were shit out of luck with women or is that the requirement of high value professional women or hot younger girls ? Then he made an article not took long ago about not being too old to start picking up women I assume that article was for any guy that wanted to start pick up, I'm guessing you don't have to really have those things he said in the other article about having your own business,etc. because most men won't, at least not at that age yet.

I'm so confused about that and hope you could give me insight.

Thanks

SZ,

Do you think that there's a certain age to settle down or should we just keep getting better with women until we reach abundance? I'm at the point right now where people expect you to settle down and not game women.

These days, I don't let literally anyone dictate what I *should* do because what they say is often incorrect. I make my own decisions based on the information that I have available to me and my own thoughts and analysis.

So my answer to that question is, "no, there is no certain age you should settle down unless you make the decision to settle down on your own." My personal recommendation would be to get good with women first and reach at least a minor level of abundance so that you don't find yourself in a rut if your relationship goes south.

I'm also in a deep depression thinking I should just settle down because people keep talking about how hard the game is when you get older and you better settle down because you not gonna find any girls easier when you're older, so scoop up the best girl you can before you run into the single mother's or unattractive girls.

Lol.

That's pretty awful advice then because, from what I've seen, it's the guys who stay in the game longer than the average bear who start pulling the best women with relative ease. Women are generally more attracted to older men, and the guys I see cleaning up with women are usually in their mid-30s.

That being said, don't just think that because years are passing by that you automatically "upgrade" and get more attractive and that women will hit on you more -- these guys just continued to approach and date women throughout their entire 20s and early 30s, so their experience levels are super high and their game is very solid. You'll notice that a lot of the guys doing well with women in their 30s come across as extremely relaxed and easy to talk to; they aren't as worried about minor details anymore because they have enough experience to navigate even the toughest terrain.

If settling down is what you want to do, then that's a different story. But it has to come from YOU and not from other people. Do YOU want to settle down right now? Or do YOU want to go out and date lots of women still? That's your choice.

What is the level of abundance you speak of ? How many lays and how good do you have to be to reach it?

You can't put a number on it -- it's not a number... it's a mindset. It's the feeling of, "I know that if this relationship doesn't work out, I can go out and start sleeping with new women within a few weeks and potentially replace this girl with another great girl within a few months." If you can honestly say that to yourself and believe it, then you're there. If you can't say that to yourself and honestly believe it, then you're not there.

It's going to be different for different guys. I actually don't have an extremely high lay count, but I'm relatively there. I know guys who have dozens more lays than I do, but they are not there. So it really depends on you, your own personal progress, and your mindset.

- Franco

 

[Fuck This]

Thanks for the reply.

He said by around mid 30s you should have a business, be retired, or be reasonably high up at your work. But I didn't know if that meant that if you didn't have those things you were shit out of luck with women or is that the requirement of high value professional women or hot younger girls ? Then he made an article not took long ago about not being too old to start picking up women I assume that article was for any guy that wanted to start pick up, I'm guessing you don't have to really have those things he said in the other article about having your own business,etc. because most men won't, at least not at that age yet.

I'm so confused about that and hope you could give me insight.

If I may Chime in....It is more about being in a place where you have your goal in life close to achieved or are in the process of executing it. The reason in my mind is two fold. 1) Women can distract you from your ultimate goal because their attention is a quick and easy feeling of accomplishment and it takes away the fire to keep hammering away at what your mission in life is. Women are not your mission, but the right women will help you accomplish your mission. 2) Having your "ducks in a row" in your 30's is attractive to quality women. When you reach a level of professional career achievement, you can also take vacations, and pursue leisure activities that you want to spend time with quality women who are long term or short term lovers. oh and 3)when you are focused on achieving your career goals, many times women will be attracted because they ARE NOT a priority...

I really think quality women are a symptom of a quality life...

Just my thoughts on the matter....

 

[Franco]

I think Fuck This summed it rather nicely.

- Franco

 

[Sub-Zero]

He did, but it was more of what women want with a man in their 30s. I'm asking what can men do that are not at that level yet in their 30s? Do they give up dating? Are they not good enough for decent women because they don't have these things? Should they give up their pua journey if they don't have such n such at this age?

Could you please explain this to me? This is the original quote.

"
There was one thing that has been bugging me since I read chase's article years ago about older men dating younger women and I hope you could clarify that for me. He said by around mid 30s you should have a business, be retired, or be reasonably high up at your work. But I didn't know if that meant that if you didn't have those things you were shit out of luck with women or is that the requirement of high value professional women or hot younger girls ? Then he made an article not took long ago about not being too old to start picking up women I assume that article was for any guy that wanted to start pick up, I'm guessing you don't have to really have those things he said in the other article about having your own business,etc. because most men won't, at least not at that age yet.

I'm so confused about that and hope you could give me insight."

I think Fuck This summed it rather nicely.

- Franco

 

[Fuck This]

He did, but it was more of what women want with a man in their 30s. I'm asking what can men do that are not at that level yet in their 30s?

Social skill is a continuum independent of Age. Many men get married young and then divorced and have to start from scratch 20 years later.


Do they give up dating?
NO

Are they not good enough for decent women because they don't have these things?
NO

Should they give up their pua journey if they don't have such n such at this age?
NO


Because a quality man is always improving. His career, his looks, his education, his wisdom, and his social savvy. And the women will come....

 

[Franco]

SZ,

Fuck This gave you the right idea again.

It's not the end goal: it's the path you are on. If you are on a path to success, then women will recognize this because it will flow out of you. But if you're living in your parents' basement playing video games all day and reading forums in your mid-20s, then yeah, you're going to have a lot of trouble with women. For starters, if you're in your mid-20s with no job and you're not pursuing a career or higher education, then a girl will assume you have no goals or end-game, and that's going to be unattractive to her. Women ultimately want men who can provide for them (even if it's the "appearance" of providing without physically providing), and unless you have extremely strong "lover" game (meaning you clean up really nicely, work out, and work on sexual verbalization), then women are going to pass you up for men who either have their shit together or are looking to get their shit together.

If you're looking for me to give you an answer that says, "yes, you can be totally lazy and not work on yourself or your game in your 20s and still meet women," then you're asking the wrong person. So you just need to be working toward something that women can recognize as a goal or a mission -- something that shows that, even if you're not completely independent at the moment, there's a good chance you will be in the future.

If she's going to pledge herself to you, she needs to see that there's something worth pledging herself to.

- Franco

 

[Sub-Zero]

Ok, that's good to know that. I took what Chase said literally and assumed you wouldn't get decent girls in your 30s if you didn't have the success yet at that point.

Thanks for replying to me.

He did, but it was more of what women want with a man in their 30s. I'm asking what can men do that are not at that level yet in their 30s?

Social skill is a continuum independent of Age. Many men get married young and then divorced and have to start from scratch 20 years later.


Do they give up dating?
NO

Are they not good enough for decent women because they don't have these things?
NO

Should they give up their pua journey if they don't have such n such at this age?
NO


Because a quality man is always improving. His career, his looks, his education, his wisdom, and his social savvy. And the women will come....

 

[Sub-Zero]

Yeah when I read chases article about younger women older man, I took what he said literally about having success in your 30s, more on having the success than working towards it. I remember him saying that you should be proven by mid 30s, but whatever.

I never would want to be lazy and expect women to come, I love working on myself. It's just that right now I can't even get a simple job for years and now that I'm older me not having a job makes it even worse because those years I have achieved no work experience, so it's like time went by and I'm still stuck in the same place work wise. I'm also terrible at math, so I won't be able to get a degree in any type of stem field, so I'm just considering making my own business, but I do need money and a career now.

Would you mention what you're working on to women ? And Is that still acceptable when you're an older dude? Idk how they would take an older dude working on himself, but I assume they would like it.

I just want to have all my shit together, and to be able to focus on other things.

Thanks for replying to me.

SZ,

Fuck This gave you the right idea again.

It's not the end goal: it's the path you are on. If you are on a path to success, then women will recognize this because it will flow out of you. But if you're living in your parents' basement playing video games all day and reading forums in your mid-20s, then yeah, you're going to have a lot of trouble with women. For starters, if you're in your mid-20s with no job and you're not pursuing a career or higher education, then a girl will assume you have no goals or end-game, and that's going to be unattractive to her. Women ultimately want men who can provide for them (even if it's the "appearance" of providing without physically providing), and unless you have extremely strong "lover" game (meaning you clean up really nicely, work out, and work on sexual verbalization), then women are going to pass you up for men who either have their shit together or are looking to get their shit together.

If you're looking for me to give you an answer that says, "yes, you can be totally lazy and not work on yourself or your game in your 20s and still meet women," then you're asking the wrong person. So you just need to be working toward something that women can recognize as a goal or a mission -- something that shows that, even if you're not completely independent at the moment, there's a good chance you will be in the future.

If she's going to pledge herself to you, she needs to see that there's something worth pledging herself to.

- Franco

 

[Rain]

SZ,

Fuck This gave you the right idea again.

It's not the end goal: it's the path you are on. If you are on a path to success, then women will recognize this because it will flow out of you. But if you're living in your parents' basement playing video games all day and reading forums in your mid-20s, then yeah, you're going to have a lot of trouble with women. For starters, if you're in your mid-20s with no job and you're not pursuing a career or higher education, then a girl will assume you have no goals or end-game, and that's going to be unattractive to her. Women ultimately want men who can provide for them (even if it's the "appearance" of providing without physically providing), and unless you have extremely strong "lover" game (meaning you clean up really nicely, work out, and work on sexual verbalization), then women are going to pass you up for men who either have their shit together or are looking to get their shit together.

If you're looking for me to give you an answer that says, "yes, you can be totally lazy and not work on yourself or your game in your 20s and still meet women," then you're asking the wrong person. So you just need to be working toward something that women can recognize as a goal or a mission -- something that shows that, even if you're not completely independent at the moment, there's a good chance you will be in the future.

If she's going to pledge herself to you, she needs to see that there's something worth pledging herself to.

- Franco

So you can be both lover and provider. You can also be lover and do well. I didn't know you could do well just by being a provider though? I thought that was sort of not as successful mating strategy as being a strong lover, eg if you're a provider woman may cheat with strong lover... eg pool boy?

I vaguely remember Chase saying or replying... found it! My memory isn't always bad

"Though, I’d keep in mind that most women do not view money as a proxy for manhood. Money is security for women, nothing more. It’s why the wealthy trophy wife will still shag the pool boy even though his net worth isn’t even a fraction of 1% of hers, and is willing to go behind the back of her swimming-in-riches husband. Now, she may not choose the pool boy to be a PROVIDER for her, but that is what the wealthy husband is for. Fun sex from the pool boy,"
viewtopic.php?p=56233#p56233

The other example was here
"I think what people think of as "dark and cold" is usually that love is not forever; that is to say, that you could work really, really hard to find a girl, make her fall completely in love with her, get her, and then later she falls out of love with you and runs off with the pool boy or the handyman. It seems to be because uncertainty is scary, so society tries to protect people by telling them the sweet-sounding lie that once you have something, it's safe."
https://boards.girlschase.com/viewto ... 7471#p7471

So the second link may be more about falling out of love, where as I think what you're talking about here is getting the woman in the first place. Unless it's applicable to this thread too?
Anyway, first link definitely, do you disagree a bit with Chase or am I missing context?

"The "appearance" of providing without actually doing it" What does that mean?

What does independent mean in the context you describe? Eg working from home, or having passive income, or any job as long as you're not relying on welfare?

 

[Sub-Zero]

What I think Chase means with that quote is that he's talking about a normal provider with no skill with women; he just has money and takes care of her, he isnt sexy, doesn't make love to his woman the right way, no abundance mindset to replace her.

The second quote is mostly about randomness, you could do everything right and she still might stray. You can't depend on a women 100%, no matter if you're a provider or not.

What he meant by providing without providing means you look like you can provide for her if need be, the appearance is looking like you have money of course. Doesn't have to be a lot, but you need to take care of yourself.

The question I'm tryna figure out is how does the older man who doesn't have his finances together get with women ? Does he quit until he makes enough money to take care of himself ? Does he quit because he doesn't work for himself ? Or does he still continue to approach while he works on himself ?

What Chase specifically said was this, "men should either be retired, have their own business, or be reasonably high up in whatever field their in by mid 30s."

That shit scares the fuck out of me, making me think if you don't have those things by a certain age, you might as well give up and hope you can get low hanging fruit women.

Hope that explains it.

SZ,

Fuck This gave you the right idea again.

It's not the end goal: it's the path you are on. If you are on a path to success, then women will recognize this because it will flow out of you. But if you're living in your parents' basement playing video games all day and reading forums in your mid-20s, then yeah, you're going to have a lot of trouble with women. For starters, if you're in your mid-20s with no job and you're not pursuing a career or higher education, then a girl will assume you have no goals or end-game, and that's going to be unattractive to her. Women ultimately want men who can provide for them (even if it's the "appearance" of providing without physically providing), and unless you have extremely strong "lover" game (meaning you clean up really nicely, work out, and work on sexual verbalization), then women are going to pass you up for men who either have their shit together or are looking to get their shit together.

If you're looking for me to give you an answer that says, "yes, you can be totally lazy and not work on yourself or your game in your 20s and still meet women," then you're asking the wrong person. So you just need to be working toward something that women can recognize as a goal or a mission -- something that shows that, even if you're not completely independent at the moment, there's a good chance you will be in the future.

If she's going to pledge herself to you, she needs to see that there's something worth pledging herself to.

- Franco

So you can be both lover and provider. You can also be lover and do well. I didn't know you could do well just by being a provider though? I thought that was sort of not as successful mating strategy as being a strong lover, eg if you're a provider woman may cheat with strong lover... eg pool boy?

I vaguely remember Chase saying or replying... found it! My memory isn't always bad

"Though, I’d keep in mind that most women do not view money as a proxy for manhood. Money is security for women, nothing more. It’s why the wealthy trophy wife will still shag the pool boy even though his net worth isn’t even a fraction of 1% of hers, and is willing to go behind the back of her swimming-in-riches husband. Now, she may not choose the pool boy to be a PROVIDER for her, but that is what the wealthy husband is for. Fun sex from the pool boy,"
https://boards.girlschase.com/viewt ... 233#p56233

The other example was here
"I think what people think of as "dark and cold" is usually that love is not forever; that is to say, that you could work really, really hard to find a girl, make her fall completely in love with her, get her, and then later she falls out of love with you and runs off with the pool boy or the handyman. It seems to be because uncertainty is scary, so society tries to protect people by telling them the sweet-sounding lie that once you have something, it's safe."
viewtopic.php?p=7471#p7471

So the second link may be more about falling out of love, where as I think what you're talking about here is getting the woman in the first place. Unless it's applicable to this thread too?
Anyway, first link definitely, do you disagree a bit with Chase or am I missing context?

"The "appearance" of providing without actually doing it" What does that mean?

What does independent mean in the context you describe? Eg working from home, or having passive income, or any job as long as you're not relying on welfare?