All excited girls going cold. What's my mistake?

[Railer]

There is currently a notable gap between how I expect girls to follow up with me and how they do.

I’d like to give some recent examples in the hopes of you guys being able to spot any potential mistake.

About me: rusty regarding techniques, but tight fundamentals and looks somewhere above 9

 

[Railer]

Example: White-dress

average looks, but upbeat and fun, ~22

Saturday

Pass sexy girl in white-dress, with exciting dance moves. Return: "What you’re wearing tonight is really hot. Stunning. I love it!", smile and leave as she thanks me. Don’t pick up too much excitement about me, but would later talk to her again and she’d enjoy us touching. Number-close "in case we get separated".

White-dress directs attention to me. Asking me to call her, so that she’d get my number.

Felt like I could’ve escalated to making out in the club, but I don’t do that. Also she got drunk over the course of the night, so I really was fine only having collected the number, hoping to continue the next day.

Sunday

[10:56] Let me know when you're feeling good again  / X
[12:12] L: i'm always good!!!
[12:49] let's arrange something! when are you free?

Tuesday

For the sake of trying something new I sent a kind voice message. The idea was to convey that my interest is sincere. And contrasting my usually very short text-only messaging, I intentionally aimed for a minute of content:

[8:41] How you doing? I hope you and S already had a great start into the new week!
       Do I remember correctly that you could manage to be in the area Wednesday onwards again?
       Because if that works out, I would like to show you a small lake nearby ...
       ... that isn't very well-known but very pretty.
       We could bring a comfy picnic blanket, enjoy the view and chat ...
       ... and maybe enjoy some tasty food :)
       I think it would be pretty neat. Shall we do that?

Now 24 hours have passed, and in contrast to my other messages, the voice message isn’t marked as read. She has changed her profile picture in the meantime, so I find it unlikely she hasn’t actually listened to the message. Maybe she disabled reading-confirmation for doing so. Anyway, no response so far.

 

[Railer]

Example: Dark-eyes

top-tier hot girl, ~22

Saturday 9th

Dark eyes look up at me from a bench I pass. She’s struggling to keep her boobs within the skimpy black dress. Stunner. Stop a bit further down to monitor this 3-set of stylish girls. I’m nervous, thinking I have to go back, but then realize there’s really no reason to make this approach awkward. After some minutes, they get up, giving the impression of being about to take the path leading towards me. I start walking as slowly as possible, using other pedestrians as excuse to stall. At a fork, I listen. Hearing them at my 5, I decide to go right. Bingo. They end up walking besides me. High energy. Playing to identify words with their friend who’s from a different state. "May I play along?" I ask playfully. Some banter. Immediately focus on dark eyed girl, even when verbally addressing the group. The other two quickly end up walking in front of us speaking among each other. "What’s your name anyway?" "I’m M." "I’m X. [handclasp]" Brief chat. Notice my excitement about to die. "Well M, I’ll be departing, but I’d like to stay in touch on another occasion. Just in case [smile]. Shall we?" "Just in case [laughs]. Yes, sure!" "What’s the best way to reach you?" "Ehm …" "WhatsApp, maybe?" "Yes, that works." Take number. Her friends had kept walking. "Girls! Slow down one pace!" I command, startling some passersby. As I focus back on my phone to repeat the number, I hear a submissive "Thank you!" from my girl. Turns me on, huge.

Sunday 10th

[11:49] Nice coincidence getting to know each other yesterday! Sure you ended up having an exciting evening  / X
[12:36] M: yes hi
           and yes it was really nice yesterday ☺️
[15:02] we should treat each other with some ice-cream somewhere 
[15:02] what are your plans like tomorrow or today?
[15:09] M: sounds good
[15:09] M: today unfortunately i can't and tomorrow neither because i'll be working
[15:30] when is it generally better for you?
[17:03] M: weekends rather :)
[20:17] uh that's a long wait

maybe you can come up with a better idea ;)
[22:40] M: yees i'll see☺️

It already felt cumbersome for me at that point, so I decided to leave it at that for at least a week. If nothing else it would be an experiment to see if she would reinitiate. Given her looks I figured she’d be getting spammed by guys and maybe not doing that would spark some curiosity.

Monday 18th

As with White-dress I wanted to try the voice message …

[21:19] Hey hi how you doing?
        We should see if cannot get to meet each other soon.
        Time flies ... and suddenly a week is gone ...
        ... and it would be a real pity if we ended up losing sight of each other completely.
        For example we could meet at [town] to take a walk.
        There we could also get our ice-cream :)
        Personally I haven't tried it yet, but they say it's one of the best around.
        Alternatively - if you really, really, really cannot make it due to work ...
        ... since you said you work the entire week ...
        We could see if there maybe is one day that you get off work a little earlier ...
        ... and I'll pick you up there and we do something close to where you live -
        if that makes things any easier for you.
        What you think about that?

… and as with white-dress, the other messages are confirmed-read, while it’s been two days this voice message is unconfirmed and without any response.

 

[Railer]

Example: Tiny-frame

cute with positive energy, 30

Saturday

Outside see girl with the very tiny frame from day before when I didn’t have the guts to open. She has to be the one for my direct sexual line! But she’s in involved conversation with another girl and seated in position rather difficult to access. After an eternity (30 minutes mix of waiting alone or talking to the guys) things haven’t changed. Have to get over with this and get on with my night. Ask to interfere for a second, holding my index finger up, waiting for permission from the other girl. Seems puzzled but okay. Put hand on the tiny girl’s shoulder as I whisper in her ear: "I already saw you yesterday … Girls of your frame turn me on so hard … You cannot imagine the things I want to do to you." Putting my index finger against my lips, I smile at her briefly, then walk off. Notice how she looks at her friend: eyes wide-open, smiling in disbelief!

I re-open tiny-frame again and talk a bit more deeply. Besides her small stature I find she’s actually the oldest of the girls I got to know tonight. Hands me her phone as she leaves in order to get my number. Ask if it’s okay that I give myself a call and do so.

Sunday

[11:09] happy sunday morning
 ☀️☺️☀️
[14:06] C: Thanks same to you ☀️
[15:38] Think I need some more sleep - family had *a lot* of fun chatting right outside my room this morning
[15:39] when are you usually best available? We simply _have to_ see us again soon

Since I had done the sexual statement and she then had number closed me, I thought it okay to text just like I would with a friend and then take it form there. However, no response.

 

[Will_V]

Seems like you've got the basics down pat, but there's a few things here.

You're not building up the excitement and leaving on a high note. You say yourself that you exchanged numbers in at least one case because you could feel the energy about to die. Well, that's what she associates with you now, as they say the ending is crucial in all things.

The way I like to do it is to leave when the bubble around us is still growing but not fully developed. The idea is that when you leave she feels a distinct lack, like she's missing something she had when you were there, that you took away of your own accord. When she feels that pull toward you as you move away, that's what creates her arousal and desire to see you again.

One more possible thing (and I think this is really the key to daygame that is so difficult to master) is to be able to show the right level of sexual intent without losing the grace of the interaction. That's why I always emphasize eye contact, proximity, and incidental touch, because these things are what ALL social interactions have, yet they all have a level beyond which (all else being equal) things get distinctly sexual in a way that can't exactly be pinned down. Who can say whether the right body proximity for normal interaction is 2, 3 or 4 feet? Yet she knows when you are close enough that she feels her body starting to respond.

It seems possible here that you are playing it too safe, having chats and social interactions that don't trigger sexual tension. For example you came in to the 'tiny frame' girl with a very direct, very aggressive opener, and then (correct me if I'm wrong) have a standard conversation without much or any more sexual tension. And then on the phone you're wishing her a happy sunday morning and telling her how your family kept you awake all night. It's incongruent.

Lastly you seem to be too quick to focus on logistics on the phone. With the 'white dress' girl you basically said in as many words 'hey let me know when you've recovered so I can hit you up to bang'. I know it wasn't your intention but it could easily come across that way.

I think the main thing here is to focus on creating a sense of intimacy and more sexual tension during the interactions, and then on the phone referring back to it in a way that a) shows you remember something distinct about her that's not what every guy thinks about when he sees her and b) evokes the feelings of the crucial moment of the interaction, when you were walking away and she was wishing you weren't.

Good luck!

 

[Beck Bass]

Felt like I could’ve escalated to making out in the club, but I don’t do that.

So you don't like kissing girls? lol
Just playing, it's important to not let emotions crest too high if you can't close, but couldn't you really close?
Btw you were in a bar? A club? Some party, restaurant? The type of venue and what's happening is all very important in seduction
EDIT: ooh you said it was in the club later on, my bad, but maybe make the setting a bit more clear right away, I think it would make it faster to understand

If you hadn't have your phase of making out with a bunch of girls in clubs, parties or what have you, I would recommend you try getting more physical right away, it's amazing what it can do with your ("body") self confidence and it's important for developing kino, getting confortable getting physical/sexual/intimate with a girl.
If think she responded quite coldly towards you because you didn't show enough interest, you didn't try hard enough to get in her pants, so now she's like "what is he even trying to achieve with me"?

It already felt cumbersome for me at that point, so I decided to leave it at that for at least a week. If nothing else it would be an experiment to see if she would reinitiate. Given her looks I figured she’d be getting spammed by guys and maybe not doing that would spark some curiosity.

You assumptions might be wrong, don't let your head fuck you up.

Dunno if I like the voice messages, they can be good, but as a hail marry, I think they are a bit of an obvious move, and makes you seem like you already lost, if you know what I mean (I think they can be good to get the girls attention if she's still on the fence, more leaning towards you, and maybe just didn't quite have the time to answer you properly, I think @Chase knows way better about that). You can keep on doing them, I mean, it's good practice, but I think voice messages can be great if they are already something you usually do (I don't use them too much, so I'm keyjocking a bit, but I don't know how sucessful a first message that already is a voice message could be, maybe you signal too much intimacy, like come off as trying to imply more raport than there actually is? Voice messages can be quite a complex topic, I suppose hehe. But I think there's like a certain time frame where they are best used, and as a bit of a "hail marry", they can be obvious).

Ask to interfere for a second, holding my index finger up, waiting for permission from the other girl. Seems puzzled but okay. Put hand on the tiny girl’s shoulder as I whisper in her ear: "I already saw you yesterday … Girls of your frame turn me on so hard … You cannot imagine the things I want to do to you." Putting my index finger against my lips, I smile at her briefly, then walk off. Notice how she looks at her friend: eyes wide-open, smiling in disbelief!

Man, is this daygame? That's a crazy good opener, if I imagined everything as is. It just worries me this 30 minutes wait, but if the vibe wasn't awkward, whatever.

One more possible thing (and I think this is really the key to daygame that is so difficult to master) is to be able to show the right level of sexual intent without losing the grace of the interaction. That's why I always emphasize eye contact, proximity, and incidental touch, because these things are what ALL social interactions have, yet they all have a level beyond which (all else being equal) things get distinctly sexual in a way that can't exactly be pinned down. Who can say whether the right body proximity for normal interaction is 2, 3 or 4 feet? Yet she knows when you are close enough that she feels her body starting to respond.

Yeah, I have little experience with daygame, but @Will_V advices seems very sound, it feels like your not "commiting" enough on those first interactions, like this girl, you borderline says you wanna bang her brains out and she starts smiling at you, I think she expects more than just casual friendly convo after that (it could also be argued your opener was way over the top and left you without much options afterwards, but I really like the idea of being this sexually forward in the opener, so I hope that isn't the case haha)

 

[trashKENNUT]

So you don't like kissing girls? lol

Guys like him, probably have this 'natural but engineering' way of interacting with females. They love 'poking' girls, buttons but in a more curious non disingenuous way. It's a 'kick'.

I'm kinda like that. Believe it or not. The key is merging that enjoyment of 'TROLLING' girls yet get the sex.

z@c+

 

[Railer]

@Will_V, @Beck Bass, @ZacAdam, thanks for your thoughts, brothers. I went through each, several times, word by word, making sure to collect each piece of the puzzle, coming to the realization that this is really about congruence:

I’m neither looking for love, nor to feel worthy by adding a notch to my belt - not in the examples mentioned.

I don’t just want sex, regardless of how I get there. I want the girl to put in effort, be submissive … and be thankful when she gets it.

At best she should be angry at herself for being crazy for me even though I’m being a prick, treating her like a little brat.

That turns me on.

So when suddenly a message from blue-dress (see blue font in Night Mission Debriefiegs) popped up yesterday, I went right ahead to work that frame:

[Sun 11:17] happy sunday morning
 ☀️☀️
[Wed 21:09] S: sorry just now saw it
[Wed 21:09] S: somehow had a different number stored for you
[Wed 22:24] no issue. all cool B)
[Wed 22:47] store: <name>
[Wed 23:26] S: easy
[Wed 23:26] S: will do
[Thu 09:22] good girl ;)

Not saying this will work out right away. It’s about building the habit.
And in case it does end up leading to a lay, that’s reason to party - given she lives hours away and is a hot .. blonde .. brat

 

[Railer]

you exchanged numbers because you could feel the energy about to die

Flow was still good - Interaction could’ve been longer, but had noticed that her girl-friends were getting further away. Maybe they would’ve left her with me, but I doubt she was ready for it herself just then.

When she feels that pull toward you as you move away

Do you tend to go for DHV’s about your background/life or keep that to yourself and just make the interaction as-is as playful as possible?

Lastly you seem to be too quick to focus on logistics on the phone.

Good you pointed that out. I never questioned it, because it "always worked". Now I realize it actually "always worked when I lived abroad". Regardless of doing prick or kind-guy, I’ll pace that from now on.

I think the main thing here is to focus on creating a sense of intimacy and more sexual tension during the interactions, and then on the phone referring back to it in a way that a) shows you remember something distinct about her that’s not what every guy thinks about when he sees her and b) evokes the feelings of the crucial moment of the interaction, when you were walking away and she was wishing you weren’t.

Great framework.

try getting more physical right away

True. Abstaining from makeouts doesn’t prevent me from touch- and verbal-escalation.

Man, is this daygame? That’s a crazy good opener, if I imagined everything as is. It just worries me this 30 minutes wait, but if the vibe wasn’t awkward, whatever.

Outside-bar directly-adjacent to the club entrance - no loud music there, but past midnight; Most of the 30 minutes the two guys who had sought my help with getting girls were keeping me company, so it wasn’t that weird.

It's a 'kick'.

This.