I know it's long, but it's interesting and I'm going a little crazy and could use some help.
I'm 19 years old, in college, living with my parents. I'm not really a player, I had one relationship that lasted 2+1/2 years and than after that I had two friends with benefits.
Than I met this girl. There's this girl that has always lived down the street from us who's a year younger than me, and even though we lived so close to each other for years we never met each other until a few months ago. After a few days of meeting eachother we have sex, so she'd be my fourth sex partner, and than we have lots of sex for months. Lots. I'm loving, she seems to be loving it. She begins to press for a relationship and I avoid the question everytime.
Eventually she feels forced to go out and find someone who is willing to give her a relationship because I made her feel used and unwanted, so she goes and gets this boy toy. Her and this boy toy go out on a lot of dates and start getting pretty close to eachother, but according to her they never had sex(I believe it because he's a pussy but I have some doubt because of how much she came on to me). Well she continues to want to hang out with me while she gets close to this boy, but she acts a little different everytime, and acts a lot less horny and coming on to me. Eventually I realize that it's either I let her and her new boy toy go and be together and I stop seeing her, or I tell her that I like her and actually want to try and start something and see where things go. Which I did, and I think i lost some power in the relationship by doing so. I told her that she really grew on me in the past few months because we hung out a LOT, probably too much. I mean she is my neighbor after all so it's SUPER easy for her to come over and it's not like I'm thaaat busy to hang out. So the idea of us just stopping hanging out was not a pleasant one for me. I'm a really good-looking guy, I work out, I'm going to a nice college, I belive I am a really good catch. Only problem I have is I'm not very proactive with girls, I kind of let them come to me. Which isn't very manly, I know. But this girl treated me like a sex-god, she could never resist my dick, and I loved it. And she was also really sweet, always doing every little thing for me, calling me sexy and complimenting me and all this good shit.
But when we first met and had sex she had been in a relationship with a guy for about a week, this guy was also a pussy(I know him personally but not that well) but she still cheated on him with me. And she also cheated on her boy-toy because she told him she loved him and they were actually starting to be in a relationship(facebook official) but she was stilling seeing me and having sex with me.
Now I told her how I felt and she's still talking to that boy toy working on how to end things between them without completely crushing him.
Only problem now is I have trust issues with her. Which makes me feel and probably look insecure. I know I'm a catch, and I know she's lucky to be with me. But she's lied to my face about what her plans were because she didn't want to tell me she was hanging out with him; I think I didn't deserve the truth because of the way I treated her(like she was a piece of meat) and I had made no commitment to her whatsoever. But now I know she has the ability to lie to my face, and other boys shes been with, for her own gain. I want this girl because of how much sex we had and how she treats me, but I feel like this is all a fantasy in my head if I expect that to continue in an actual relationship. She told me her facebook password a little while ago, before I told her how I felt, and I signed on(regreatablly) and saw how she talked to that guy. She'd pretty much say "im so lonely i wish i was with you" while she was with me, or she'd say the same thing to both of us while she was alone. I starting asking her how far she's gone with her new boy-toy and she said she'd only made out with him twice but I knew it was a lie by there facebook messages and I admitted to her that I signed on to her account(she told me her password blatantly). She confessed that she'd actually made out with him a lot but she could never go any further because she was always thinking about me.
I don't really have a lot of options with girls because I'm not proactive and I spend a lot of time at home but I know I could easily go get a girl if I put the effort it, I just DONT want to put the effort in. I know it'll be rewarding and all but I have this girl right here who is convenient, sweet, and seems to love me. But she knows I didn't see any other girl while we were casually hooking up except for once in the very beginning and I feel like that affects how she feels about me. I wish I could get another girl involved just to make her jealous and re-ignite some of that passion from the beginning but I don't know how I could go about that.
I think I'm crazy for assuming anything could ever work out between us because of how I've seen her in the past, but I really do like the consistent sex and how she treats me. I just don't know if I can trust her and I feel like my lack of trust makes me seem insecure and than she treats me different. I also have to make a lot more moves for anything sexually to happen, where before she'd come to me really strong.
So do you guys think there's a chance I can keep this girl passionately loving me, trust her to not go behind my back now that I've told her I actually care, and consistently have great sex? Or am I just lying to myself? I question a lot of what she tells me when she says she's going out to do something, even though a lot of the time her story checks out. I wonder if I should just tell her I'm not ready to actually be in a relationship, and that I can't trust her after I've seen her lie to my face and other people's faces. But I'd like for there to be a way where I could trust her, and we could for the mos part continue what we had. Is it time for me to end it or do I just need to do some serious relationship control? I've read all the articles on relationships, mainlining respect, keeping passionate love, but I want to know what you guys think.
It's extremely difficult to put the whole situation into one forum post, if I think of any more import details I will add, but I want to get all this out for now and see what comes to your minds.
IF YOU MADE IT THIS FAR, THANK YOU. I APPRECIATE YOU TAKING THE TIME TO READ THIS. AND I GREATLY APPRECIATE ANY ADVICE AND PERSPECTIVE.
I'm 19 years old, in college, living with my parents. I'm not really a player, I had one relationship that lasted 2+1/2 years and than after that I had two friends with benefits.
Than I met this girl. There's this girl that has always lived down the street from us who's a year younger than me, and even though we lived so close to each other for years we never met each other until a few months ago. After a few days of meeting eachother we have sex, so she'd be my fourth sex partner, and than we have lots of sex for months. Lots. I'm loving, she seems to be loving it. She begins to press for a relationship and I avoid the question everytime.
Eventually she feels forced to go out and find someone who is willing to give her a relationship because I made her feel used and unwanted, so she goes and gets this boy toy. Her and this boy toy go out on a lot of dates and start getting pretty close to eachother, but according to her they never had sex(I believe it because he's a pussy but I have some doubt because of how much she came on to me). Well she continues to want to hang out with me while she gets close to this boy, but she acts a little different everytime, and acts a lot less horny and coming on to me. Eventually I realize that it's either I let her and her new boy toy go and be together and I stop seeing her, or I tell her that I like her and actually want to try and start something and see where things go. Which I did, and I think i lost some power in the relationship by doing so. I told her that she really grew on me in the past few months because we hung out a LOT, probably too much. I mean she is my neighbor after all so it's SUPER easy for her to come over and it's not like I'm thaaat busy to hang out. So the idea of us just stopping hanging out was not a pleasant one for me. I'm a really good-looking guy, I work out, I'm going to a nice college, I belive I am a really good catch. Only problem I have is I'm not very proactive with girls, I kind of let them come to me. Which isn't very manly, I know. But this girl treated me like a sex-god, she could never resist my dick, and I loved it. And she was also really sweet, always doing every little thing for me, calling me sexy and complimenting me and all this good shit.
But when we first met and had sex she had been in a relationship with a guy for about a week, this guy was also a pussy(I know him personally but not that well) but she still cheated on him with me. And she also cheated on her boy-toy because she told him she loved him and they were actually starting to be in a relationship(facebook official) but she was stilling seeing me and having sex with me.
Now I told her how I felt and she's still talking to that boy toy working on how to end things between them without completely crushing him.
Only problem now is I have trust issues with her. Which makes me feel and probably look insecure. I know I'm a catch, and I know she's lucky to be with me. But she's lied to my face about what her plans were because she didn't want to tell me she was hanging out with him; I think I didn't deserve the truth because of the way I treated her(like she was a piece of meat) and I had made no commitment to her whatsoever. But now I know she has the ability to lie to my face, and other boys shes been with, for her own gain. I want this girl because of how much sex we had and how she treats me, but I feel like this is all a fantasy in my head if I expect that to continue in an actual relationship. She told me her facebook password a little while ago, before I told her how I felt, and I signed on(regreatablly) and saw how she talked to that guy. She'd pretty much say "im so lonely i wish i was with you" while she was with me, or she'd say the same thing to both of us while she was alone. I starting asking her how far she's gone with her new boy-toy and she said she'd only made out with him twice but I knew it was a lie by there facebook messages and I admitted to her that I signed on to her account(she told me her password blatantly). She confessed that she'd actually made out with him a lot but she could never go any further because she was always thinking about me.
I don't really have a lot of options with girls because I'm not proactive and I spend a lot of time at home but I know I could easily go get a girl if I put the effort it, I just DONT want to put the effort in. I know it'll be rewarding and all but I have this girl right here who is convenient, sweet, and seems to love me. But she knows I didn't see any other girl while we were casually hooking up except for once in the very beginning and I feel like that affects how she feels about me. I wish I could get another girl involved just to make her jealous and re-ignite some of that passion from the beginning but I don't know how I could go about that.
I think I'm crazy for assuming anything could ever work out between us because of how I've seen her in the past, but I really do like the consistent sex and how she treats me. I just don't know if I can trust her and I feel like my lack of trust makes me seem insecure and than she treats me different. I also have to make a lot more moves for anything sexually to happen, where before she'd come to me really strong.
So do you guys think there's a chance I can keep this girl passionately loving me, trust her to not go behind my back now that I've told her I actually care, and consistently have great sex? Or am I just lying to myself? I question a lot of what she tells me when she says she's going out to do something, even though a lot of the time her story checks out. I wonder if I should just tell her I'm not ready to actually be in a relationship, and that I can't trust her after I've seen her lie to my face and other people's faces. But I'd like for there to be a way where I could trust her, and we could for the mos part continue what we had. Is it time for me to end it or do I just need to do some serious relationship control? I've read all the articles on relationships, mainlining respect, keeping passionate love, but I want to know what you guys think.
It's extremely difficult to put the whole situation into one forum post, if I think of any more import details I will add, but I want to get all this out for now and see what comes to your minds.
IF YOU MADE IT THIS FAR, THANK YOU. I APPRECIATE YOU TAKING THE TIME TO READ THIS. AND I GREATLY APPRECIATE ANY ADVICE AND PERSPECTIVE.
