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am i too passive or is she bad at flirting

Lushie

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Dec 26, 2020
Messages
42
so there's this one girl from my college who i've been texting. i get a subtle feeling she doesn't fall for my small micro flirts and i take that as in she's just not interested in me. however, she helped out with one of my film projects so i suggested having dinner with me as compensation and she's was totally down for it. afterwards, i suggested we got out again after the semester was over and again she was down. so the signs are telling she's interested but when i try flirting, she gives somewhat weak responses compare to the other girls i've texted. is she just not good at flirting or am i being too passive?

here's the most recent example:
2:51pm Me: Hey hb
3:15pm HB: Hallo
3:56pm Me: How finals treating you
6:57pm HB: Am dead
7:40pm Me: Lol don’t die yet, wait until after our lil tea date
8:07pm HB: Ahaha true, ngl i do have strep atm tho
8:33pm Me: Well that sucks i can’t steal your drink
10:05pm HB: Exactly, my drink is safe now haha
10:49pm Me: Well maybe you’ll feel better after new years, so we can schedule til then. Finals has been killing me so that works for me too.
10:52pm HB: Yeah i’ll be good then, i’ll be back in [our school] right away anyways bc work
11:20pm Me: We’ll toast w/ champagne for the new years too.. Or at least apple cider for you (she’s 20)
9:02am HB: LMAOOOO yess
1:54pm Me: Just don’t get tipsy over one glass lmao
2:33pm HB: Ahhh no promises haha
11:59am Me: Lol i’ll take adv. of you and steal something
12:05pm HB: D:
12:19pm Me: What’s most valuable to you?
1:26pm HB: I was gonna say pls don’t take my camera
1:26pm HB: My bby
1:01am Me: That’s cute i’ll steal your keys then
6:34am HB: D:
6:34am HB: Evil
10:22am Me: And your heart
10:59am HB: Ahahaha okay fine better that than my keys
2:29pm Me: Lol no i’m greedy, i’m taking both your keys and every part of you
3:44pm HB: Ayo-
3:44pm HB: The keys too damn

the last text i sent, i tried to heat up the convo further after saying i'll steal her heart by making it about us but her last response didn't seem to click. lmk if i'm being silly here and just continue amping it up or take the hint she's not into me as much.
 

Rakehell

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Mar 28, 2021
Messages
770
Hard to say until you get her out. If she shows then safe to say she’s interested. Texting is so tricky because even girls that are dry over text will sometimes meet and be dtf.
 

TomInHo

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Dec 13, 2021
Messages
665
Ask her out G!

Not sure if you noticed, but she gave you a window here...
10:52pm HB: Yeah i’ll be good then, i’ll be back in [our school] right away anyways bc work
11:20pm Me: We’ll toast w/ champagne for the new years too.. Or at least apple cider for you (she’s 20)
9:02am HB: LMAOOOO yess
This means she's probably open to the idea of meeting up, but is putting you on the back burner for some reason. So I would have wrapped up conversation there and gone ghost!

This take advantage of LAW 16 in 48 Laws of Power - Use absence to increase respect and honor

Hit her up with a New Years text and then figure out her logistics to setup the date.

Because I've noticed that girls can act fickle with setting dates if you're constantly texting them. So being scarce and only texting to flirt a little while being focused on figuring out her logistics is money

Don't settle for being her text buddy. Go for being her fuck buddy
 

Lushie

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Dec 26, 2020
Messages
42
Ask her out G!

Not sure if you noticed, but she gave you a window here...

This means she's probably open to the idea of meeting up, but is putting you on the back burner for some reason. So I would have wrapped up conversation there and gone ghost!
oops i probably didn't make it clear in my first paragraph but we have gone out before for dinner. she is interested in me that i know, so is she just bad with flirting over text? and the reason she's waiting til new years is because her home is 3hrs away. so she's going back home this week and will return after new years.

that first outing tho, i set the pretense more so as a platonic outing so i wasn't flirting with her but she still had a good time. that's probably where i fucked up my "lover" potential. but yeah i'll ping her after new years and set her logistics. i'll frame the event to be more romantic this time. high chance we end up at her apartment, since she can't legally drink.

but i'm just confused as to why in texting, she's not as flirtatious as other girls.

@SunKing is right tho. i had a similar experience with this one girl who i was practicing spanish with. she would also give dry responses when i initiate flirty text but when we video call, she would be more receptive to them.
 

Lushie

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Dec 26, 2020
Messages
42
hm i'm probably being dumb by putting too much focus on how a girl responds to flirting as an indicator of interest. perhaps i shouldn't care too much if she responds well to flirts as long as she's agreeing to going out.
 

TomInHo

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Dec 13, 2021
Messages
665
hm i'm probably being dumb by putting too much focus on how a girl responds to flirting as an indicator of interest. perhaps i shouldn't care too much if she responds well to flirts as long as she's agreeing to going out.

Not all girls are good at flirting. But everything is golden if she's complying and following your lead
 

think

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Dec 20, 2021
Messages
23
she seems like the typical average college chick flirtation, i.e. just responding to stimuli. your texting lacks direction. if you are a very sexual and attractive man and she says something about her throat hurting, you'll ask if that means she needs a breather before you put your dick down it
 

foggy

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Jul 20, 2015
Messages
1,532
lushie it's not that she sucks at flirting. It's just that your style of flirting might not be suitable for her. every girl has a different flirting style and by flirting using her preferred style, you experience more success

Idk this girl so I can't say for sure unless you provide me more details about her personality but from her initial language choice (halp!! am dead), I speculate she would prefer some cooperative and quirky banter rather than push pull to get some sparks going

ps she's interested
 

Skills

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
5,077
so there's this one girl from my college who i've been texting. i get a subtle feeling she doesn't fall for my small micro flirts and i take that as in she's just not interested in me. however, she helped out with one of my film projects so i suggested having dinner with me as compensation and she's was totally down for it. afterwards, i suggested we got out again after the semester was over and again she was down. so the signs are telling she's interested but when i try flirting, she gives somewhat weak responses compare to the other girls i've texted. is she just not good at flirting or am i being too passive?

here's the most recent example:


the last text i sent, i tried to heat up the convo further after saying i'll steal her heart by making it about us but her last response didn't seem to click. lmk if i'm being silly here and just continue amping it up or take the hint she's not into me as much.


lushie good stuff(good texting btw, similar to how i text)! she is interested, what you want her to text you "come over and fuck me" don't you see she is responding positively and investing...
 

Lushie

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Dec 26, 2020
Messages
42
lushie it's not that she sucks at flirting. It's just that your style of flirting might not be suitable for her. every girl has a different flirting style and by flirting using her preferred style, you experience more success

Idk this girl so I can't say for sure unless you provide me more details about her personality but from her initial language choice (halp!! am dead), I speculate she would prefer some cooperative and quirky banter rather than push pull to get some sparks going

ps she's interested
hey fog thanks for your insight! that's interesting, i haven't considered the different flirting styles girls may have but that makes a lot of sense. i do notice she's a bit more "cutesy"-ish by using langages like "nyoom" "no problemo" "hiya" "YEET" "heck yeah!" "LMAOOO" "yeee" and typed in emojis. Idk if that provides anymore useful info on the type of character she is but could you give an example of what a cooperative/quirky banter would work for this case? Do you suggest something that feeds onto her cutesy style, maybe bantering with her like shes a little toy

lushie good stuff(good texting btw, similar to how i text)! she is interested, what you want her to text you "come over and fuck me" don't you see she is responding positively and investing...
thanks skills! this means a lot, i plan to ping her back after a few days once she returns to my area and will try to set up a date at her place for a toast (there's a good chance her roommate will still be out of town, so logistics will look really good for her place since i still live with my fam).
also, i had a curiosity about sexting before meeting up. is there a threshold or limit that would give the girl too much "hope" or "anticipation" of getting sex? Will the girl turn sour or feel less attracted if our encounter doesn't turn into a hot sexual fantasy that i painted the picture with her in text? There's this other girl who i've cold(or social game sorta) approached (its been about a few months now) and been sexting and she just came back to my state for the holidays. I have shit logistics and i think she's staying with her parents, so our logitics would be shit like car or seclude public spot. but as a mere beginner, those sort of lays may be out of my scope.
 
a good date brings a smile to your lips... and hers

Skills

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
5,077
thanks skills! this means a lot, i plan to ping her back after a few days once she returns to my area and will try to set up a date at her place for a toast (there's a good chance her roommate will still be out of town, so logistics will look really good for her place since i still live with my fam).
also, i had a curiosity about sexting before meeting up. is there a threshold or limit that would give the girl too much "hope" or "anticipation" of getting sex? Will the girl turn sour or feel less attracted if our encounter doesn't turn into a hot sexual fantasy that i painted the picture with her in text? There's this other girl who i've cold(or social game sorta) approached (its been about a few months now) and been sexting and she just came back to my state for the holidays. I have shit logistics and i think she's staying with her parents, so our logitics would be shit like car or seclude public spot. but as a mere beginner, those sort of lays may be out of my scope.
You need to understand at one point or another we ALL WERE beginners and as a beginer we ALL HAD SHIT LOGISTICS, i still have to deal with shit logistics at times, logistics is one of the most important things to deal with in seduction and will always be there, most seducers have to deal and fight to get around logistics, logistics problems will never really go away... But the younger you are the more problematic, but also the younger you are the women are also younger and are easier to fuck in unusual places (i was walking with my main at night and some dude getting a bj at the park in the middel of the park road), i did not want to interrupt so i had my main go on the street with me, here are some stuff on logistics.... About the sexting you need to be very calibrated, first you need to do it with baby steps, preferably either inderect (like teevester stuff) or with a bit of humor, also you need to mix it up with going back to regular convos and other subject vs plowing on it, careful with the the girls that send too many nudes to get validations (those one tend to be super flakey and never meet).... when you do the sexting right it will cause her to be super curious and super exited to meet you to the point she start projecting a bunch of fantasies on you when done right (this cause at times to be desapointed at the meet of so much fantasy projection on to you), when you do it wrong is when the sexting cause asd if that happens she will flake there needs to be a right balance and calibration, also is not really needed, but is also nice to play with... Based on your texting you have texting charisma, so you are on the right track...
 
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