FR+ Am I tripping? 🤔.She tells me no 🛑 with her words but everything else screams don't stop 🟢

[SmooothOperator]

Bit of background: Girl is the most feminine I've met, loves being led but also demands that men be men yk.

We watched Cars 2 and Tomb raider all this happens on a narrow living room couch . I had about 3 windows that I missed and in a wierd way i wasn't scared. It was like I was observing myself from the outside and knew exactly what the next textbook step should be but just wasn't feeling it. (Partly cause I had a runny stomach had to use her bathroom couple of times - idk why)

After a ton of thigh rubbing to the point that it even became as normal as handholding I was like this is getting ridiculous and I slowed everything down, started playing with her hair, and moved in for the kiss , she pulled back like what are you doing type of energy.

I was so calm I basically had no reaction . She starts laughing as she's seated on my lap. I ask what's funny and she says don't let the laughs get to you (my guess is that she's dealing with the nerves by laughing)

She says you've been rubbing my thighs like you're my man or sth and we're friends - friends don't do this. I say : So just because im a friend means I can't rub you down ?that i can't hold you? So just because we're friends you should be lonely and miserable?
I then spin it back to talk about how im such a good friend im giving her these wonderful sensations

Shes still on my lap and body language I good so I try to kiss her again and she pulls back again - more laughing(which started to get to me) and more of " you can't kiss me if you're not my man"

Qt some point she asks me "What do you want from me " (qn was harder to answer that I thought) I said sth vausw like : u want many things .... but idk if it was convincing


So I figure out we're getting too logical and if she can't be kissed kn the lips let's see where else I can kiss instead. Arms, shoulder, arms, upper chest, neck, arms,chest- pull out one tit suck on it , chest, neck any way. Get the bra off and now spend more time o ln tips

I now want to take the pants off. I kiss down and around her stomach. I try to pull the pants off and she stops the escalation and I call her out asking what's the issue. She says you're not my man friends shouldn't.........
Any move at the waistband is met with resistance so I slowly normalize me tugging at her waistband till she doesn't react to it anymore and then plant kisses right below there(as if to say - I don't want to take them off , I just want to kiss better)

She still resists when I try to take them off. I tell her I want to kiss on her thighs she saying you're not my man, not my man .... I'm telling her yo lift her hips up - so that I can slide them off - she's adamant.

Now this is the thing with this girl - very feminine. She tells me a 20sec story of being a nurse and how ppl can't do things for themselves so you have to do it for them . I read what she's saying and eventually get the pants off . She starts dry humping me , gets on top and rides me - very bizarre stuff . I finger under her panties her sitting on top of me facing away.

It's about 5am and I decide to call it off. I'm tired and I have things to do the next day. Both sleep on the couch.
Then the next few days she's saying I was nervous and scared (which I can understand because it took me 3 hrs to move beyond the things rubs) but still ot wasn't me stopping the escalation.


I think she might have some bs ideals about no kissing unless in a relationship but in a wierd way p***y is on the table .



Few questions, how would you answer :
what do you want from me ?
How do you deal with someone who seems to have this boyfriend limiting belief while not lying about becoming one ?
How do you get it in your my mind that me having s*x is goving and not taking? That you're doing her a favor ?
What paradigms of seducers do I need to embrace?
How do you deal with such a person in general ?

Im seeing her tomorrow for a "massage" and she has since expressed how she needs me to be more dominant in person . I get the sense that I need push past my comfort and a little past her comfort zone to get us to where we both want to be.

Lmk

 

[Will_V]

@SmooothOperator typically when a girl starts asking you questions like 'what are you doing' 'what do you want' etc she's feeling disconnected psychologically from you and she's verbalizing it within the frame of what's happening in that moment.

It was like I was observing myself from the outside and knew exactly what the next textbook step should be but just wasn't feeling it. (Partly cause I had a runny stomach had to use her bathroom couple of times - idk why)

This is likely where the problems began, remember emotions are contagious. If you're feeling meh, she's going to pick up on that and won't be able to get aroused, hence her being logical/asking questions.

LMR is almost always a failure of emotional transference (or rather, transferring the wrong emotions), if you're nervous, distracted, and/or unfocused on her, it'll be very difficult for her to respond emotionally and hence her sexual engine never gets started.

When you're escalating at home and your mind just isn't in a great place, you need to be able to keep bringing your attention to the present, focused on the things you like about her that turn you on, so you can express your genuine lust and desire. That's what makes her feel secure enough to abandon her own nervousness and submit to the emotions of the moment.

At the point of sex, for her, your desire = her security = her permission to open up.

what do you want from me ?
How do you deal with someone who seems to have this boyfriend limiting belief while not lying about becoming one ?
How do you get it in your my mind that me having s*x is goving and not taking? That you're doing her a favor ?
What paradigms of seducers do I need to embrace?
How do you deal with such a person in general ?

Her describing you as nervous and hesitant, and wanting you to be more dominant, is her saying "I don't feel desired". All of the questions here are irrelevant logically, they are all just dealing with her insecurity about whether you really want to ravish her or not. Once you express that in a way that she can feel, these questions and issues will vanish from her mind.

One more point: when you're escalating, don't keep doing the same thing over and over hoping to suddenly flip her switch. Like rubbing her thighs, or caressing some part of her body over and over. The more you do something within the context of a stagnant escalation, the less exciting that thing becomes.

What you really want to do is let your impulses come through. Feel some part of her body you want to feel, explore somewhere you're excited to explore, squeeze somewhere you want to squeeze, taste somewhere you want to taste, arrange her in whatever position turns you on. When she feels like she's the object of your sexual fascination and pleasure, she will automatically go out of her head and into her body, and become aroused, submissive, and compliant, and LMR won't be a problem.