FR Am I Ugly?

[Dern]

Taken from my journal:

January 23

Had one good conversation on the walk to school today.

I'm doing sexy walk, even though no ones around lol. Until... a girl walks up beside me.
Me: "hey"
Her: *turns to look at me* "heeyyy!" (judging from how she responded, I know I've approached her already! But I honestly can't remember! Hahahaha!)
Me: "going to class?"
Her: "Yeah, and running late...!"
Me: "haha, are you always late?"
Her: "haha, well I never give myself enough time, so I always think I'm going to be late!"
Me: "yeah same! I am always" *do jogging motion* (relate to her)
Her: *laughs *
Her: "what was your name again?" (ooo showing interest I see)
Me: "darren...and yours?"
Her: "maddy"
Me: "so what do you do here in the city?"
Her: "well I used to work, but then I quit so that I could do school full time. five courses. what about you?"
Me: *forgot to do thoughtful face, damnit! lol* "well, I quit work as well, so that I could focus on school and also have a social life. Or else I would be a hermit all the time."
Silence for a five or ten seconds. I'm thinking of what to say. But then she re-initiates me. (oh good! this time, I won the 'social pressure game')
Her: "so you're in psychology right?"
Me: "Yes I am*pause* But I think you're a better mind-reader than I am. After all, you can remember what I'm taking." (trying to set a chase frame here - oh you can remember what I study! must mean your into me!)
Her: *smiles*
Me: "what about you? what are youuuu taking?"
Her: "oh just sciences"
Me: "so you must be an analytical person then"
Her: "haha, I guess "
Me: *right here I could've deep dived, but talking about school at school is so boring. I mean if you walk through the halls, you can overhear people's conversations, and that's what most people talk about. So boring. Ugh. Instead, since she was laughing and I felt that my vibe was really good (due to a good night's rest - like 10 hours sleep), I tried to close*
Me: "so we should definitely grab a coffee sometime"
Her: "haha, maybeee"
Me: "what? am I thaaattt ugly?"
Her: "hahaha, no!"
Me: "then let's grab a coffee sometime"
Her: "maybe"
Me: "isn't that just a nice way of saying no?"
Her: "sometimes..."
Me: "how about a 'yes darren, I would looooveee to go out for coffee with you " (what could've worked as well: "sometimes... but not aaalll the time, and definitely not right now")
Her: "I'm too busy with school!"
Me: "isn't that why you quit work? so that you could also have a social life"
Her: "no, i quit so that I could focus on school"
Me: "oh cmon!" *light playful shove, while looking away*
Her: *laughs, seems to have enjoyed that*
Me: "I'm busy too *pause* but I'm sure we could find someee time"
Her: "I live with an Australian though"
Me: "so we couldn't go to your house " (hahahahaa so funny, how did I think of such a perfect chase frame?)
Her: *laughs *
Me: "why are you laughing like that?"
Her: "like what? "
Me: "well, your laughing, and you seem really into me, but you don't want to get a coffee with me....confusing me!" (good tease)
Her: "its just that this whole situation is really funny"
Me: *could've said something here like: "I know, its not everyday that a stranger approaches you. So thanks for the compliment, I know I'm not like the average guy: I can tell a girl what's really on my mind"
Instead, I just took out my phone and told her to enter her number*
Her: "no I can't."
Me: "you know you wannnaaaa" *still holding out my phone*
Her: "if I did give you a number, it wouldn't be a real one"
Me: "at least your honest"
Silence for a five or ten seconds. I knew I lost. Fuck
Get inside school.
Me: "where's your class?"
Her: "um. upstairs, you?"
Me: "downstairs" *put both hands on my face, open up my mouth and do a sarcastic surprised face*
Her: *laughs* "nice talking to you!"

Fuck. What could I have done better here? I think her laughing too much killed the sexual tension. The conversation was a lot of fun, but there definitely was too much teasing and chase framing, and not enough 'getting to know her'.

 

[stratvm]

it sucks man, tons of girls ask me out /text me after a long time/come to me to talk/come close waiting for me to initiate then after few minutes close down - i didnt go out but the first 2 categories were 4 total in a week! ive been experimenting with tinder and basically either a girl asks me out after 30mins then flakes 2x or the date itself leads to nowhere.

my bet is you were friendly plus looked too interested.

checklist ive been using lately:
did i tone down myself? - ultrahard
did i smile or did i use a bored face? - seriously this is a killer one, i will try not to smile at girls at all, the less i smile the more results i seem to get
did i see too interested?
did i gradually close distance? - i lost a stunning girl once by getting to close to fast, that was a really memorable FR...
did i gradually increase physical contact through touch management? - see above
did i have a sexy voice? - this is the most difficult i realized, i mean how am i supposed to talk to a girl like im in the bed with her? some voice samples would come handy (as i didnt find spellbinding too useful for this), live pickups or something because i do think the voice is an extremely important stuff that most of us are missing, maybe it needs to get more and more sexual as we close distance/increase physical contact?

my theory is that if we got approached or a girl positions herself to indicate she wants us to approach we HAVE to play a bit hard. next time a girl asks me out i just

a) ignore the offer and start/continue testing her
b) set a date a few days later and FLAKE on date1.

 

[playa]

My guess is when she stated that the whole thing appears weird, she noticed something awkward about your approach that didn't seem natural. This girl may have been intelligent and somehow discern you were applying some learning tools or something or knew you were doing something unnatural. This becomes better with practice but what I do is slow it down a little and have a regular conversation and at certain high points deviate to escalation. I like the line you proposed to use next time this occurs and may use it myself.

 

[playa]

Also, a maybe doesn't mean no, let her say no instead take it as a positive and suggest some logistics like, "where should we meet?" or what is your schedule like? Dont push it into a negative and NEVER insult yourself, or call yourself ugly. Sounds like she was interested but you framed it as if she wasnt. I would've discuss logistics of the meet, let her invest some input and then like its no big deal, "oh yeah, whats ur # so we can....." Stay positive.

 

[fsc_old]

I thought this was a really, really good conversation. I'm jealous.

My guess is that she just had her mind set on being unavailable for one reason or another, and her being in rush to class didn't really give her (and you) enough time to change her mind. I don't think getting to know her would've worked out that well in a rushed situation like that. Being light and playfully sexy was probably the best way to go, and you did a good job at it.

You just gotta realize that sometimes things can go REALLY well, then you can end up with nothing because she's taken, or she's just stubborn, or whatever.

Good job with the convo though.