An agressive approach to meeting new people

[Estate]

Hi guys,

So I'm coming at this from an angle of being new in town. But it would also apply to someone just looking to break out of their social circle.
Basically I want to just dive into meeting new people, this applies to both women and building a new social circle.

By aggressive, I don't mean physically aggressive, I mean getting off my ass and just doing it.

Can anyone share any experience? Imagine you are new in town, what do you want to do RIGHT NOW to meet new people?

The reasons I ask are these:
I AM fresh to a city, I don't know many people, or at least not close friends.
I was really impressed by a girl I know lately, she upped and moved to Texas and I can see within a couple of months on facebook, she's having the time of her life, met tons of new friends, boyfriends, etc... Maybe the dynamic is a little different for guys but not a whole lot.

Things I have been looking at:
Meetup.com - Some fun groups on there but not great. For example, there are a few groups for viewing hockey, which I love. But they weirdly specify where you must be from and what team you must like (people from specific areas) and don't want locals or other teams fans. It's a bit weird. I find a lot of groups like this are so weird or specific in who they are willing to mix with, it comes off odd.
A lot of groups are like "Women, 32-34.5, who live with cats and like to cook fusilli, meet to discuss how drizzly days make them feel, meetups take place at 11am on tuesdays so we don't have to deal with people who work for a living"... ok, that's taking it to an extreme but it's just odd.... there's no "hey, lets be social and hang out" groups.

Local sports teams - This is a good option but nothing really starts until later into Spring.

"Networking" groups - Lots of these in the city and I've attended a few events. The trouble I'm finding is they meet like once a month and nobody is really there to be social it's more like guys coming up to you like "Hey, I'm fresh out of college, I'm creating the new facebook, do you want to invest $1million in my company? No, ok, you're not good to me, see ya later".... (seriously, one guy pitched me an idea for this new revolutionary app that people pay to have their alarm clock adjust if it's raining.)

"Hometown groups" - My hometown has a group but again, there is an event every 3 months, even if you meet people, there is no more gatherings until 3 months later and the same people rarely show up again.


So what would you guys do? It's Sunday afternoon, I'm feeling a little lazy but I have this feeling of... "I could be out there NOW doing something to help this".

Is it purely, just to make a mission to hang at bars and get talking to people for a while until it begins to click. I can meet women at bars but I've taken a little step back and am starting to think in terms of quality over quantity right now. I don't go out every night as work and other things are busy but maybe I need to force myself into doing this for a few weeks/months?

 

[Tyme2k]

This is something I too am working my ass off trying to accomplish. One thing I've learned is you cant build a social circle over night.

I also haven't got anything worth while from meetup.com and read a ton of articles on building a social circle. Most of the articles say the same things like check meetup.com derrrr. There was one thing that stuck though and that was to keep meeting and getting numbers, look for those "Connectors" or the hubs of social contacts. A ton wont stick or click, but when one does, it's just like pickup. Once you make friends with a few of these they can introduce you to a whole world of friends. You will also want to surround yourself with very social people.

You need to also get some group type hobbies, here in Sac they have a social gaming league where you play a silly sport in a league, dodgeball, kickball, it's all for fun and they mainly just drink after the games. My friend plays in this and I have since met a ton of people that also play.

Sunday is a great day to wander, I always wish I had the weekend off cause every time I drive to work through downtown I see tons of people wandering around without a care in the world. People are relaxed on Sundays and willing to be social.

Also here in Sac we have a newpaper called SNR(sacramento news and review) this is a weekly paper that's free which highlights all events and venues. You should ask around and see if you guys have something similar. If you really want a social circle you must be the one thats active, Brad talked about this http://www.rsdnation.com/brad/blog/...create-social-circle-and-never-be-alone-again. He just moved to Chicago and had to create a fresh social circle.

It is definitely the most challenging task I've takled, even more than pickup, but I feel it will also be the most rewarding thing you can ever do. Starting a social circle fresh is a huge opportunity and you will be able to surround yourself with the types of people you want.

 

[Estate]

Thanks man,

I'd be interested in keeping this thread alive with any progress we might make.
I'd like to hear what your experiences are or any general knowledge which might apply to any city.

For some reason I find social circle more difficult than dating.
While you can meet and get a girls number.... social circle involves a little more familiarity. You need a common reason to see the same people often enough to build connections. That's why the networking groups in my area seem like a loss. The meetings are too few and far between to build any relationships.

I feel the same way about Meetup.com. While the premise for it is great (meet friends who like doing the same things as you), my experience so far has been that people are few cliquey. They want very narrow groups not open to the general.
It also strangely seems to attract less "I'm new in town just looking to be social" people and more people who need friends as they have none... usually blatantly obvious within minutes of meeting them why they have no friends (lack of social skills, abrupt, cliquey, not open to new people, general bad attitudes).

We'll see how it goes. I need to start addressing this more. As you said. It takes time so I don't want to leave it go longer.

 

[Light]

Hi Guys,

It is easier to narrow down and select what kind of people you want to meet. Then you just go to places where they are likely to hang out.

Also, ask yourself, what are you good at - What can you contribute to the group? How can you help your new friends?
Maybe you have some profound knowledge on certain things, or you're a talented musician, etc.
New people will always welcome you knowing you can help them in certain ways. Obviously you don't brag.

I would keep going to networking events to build up your confidence, and because you tend to find people of all species going there.