- Joined
- Nov 24, 2012
- Messages
- 317
Overall comments:
=== I think I may have come across as too much of a fully rounded figure - real bf material - maybe I need to start dialling my overt value back - I tell them what jobs I have etc and I think that puts me in the boyfriend zone - BAD- any advice on managing this and making it more "sexy" than "provider"?? - I know chase talks about this, I understand the theory need more practical advice
=== I will in future lie about my age to older girls - I realise this isn't a problem for first night lays but I think girls will always have the long term possibility in mind so this covers that.
=== I think I might need to get rid of my two regular sources of sex - they are what I consider sub-gf material - one is great at sex BUT - I think it:
1. removes my aggression and hunger for it which..
2. reduces my ability to have great first time sex also
3. reduces my motivation for having sex on the first night - I don't push hard enough as a result of not being so fussed - I could push harder anyway - b
I've been using the very laid back approach to LMR for so long now I genuinely act the part really well that I don't want it - and my motivation is also genuinely reduced since I get it twice a week from other sources and any resistance just turns me off totally- I think one of chases articles talks about how this old method is actually not optimal in most situations?
Thus I think the abundance mentality with sex is actually shooting me in the foot here - maybe I should remove them (especially since they are expecting to spend time with me now - which is nice - BUT it gets in the way of the ultimate goal)
=== So Finally this is clearly becoming a major sticking point for me - the first night (which often becomes no night) sex - as I said in my last report - either end date before going into bedroom - OR it it an LR with more determination if required
Prequel - skip if you want the important bits
About a month ago I doing some day game and sat next to this girl with a killer body - turns out she is a dancer - something I cherish in a girl for many reasons. got her number then we texted - Went to this awesome bar I know about and she was loving it - could tell she wanted a kiss, and I did tease her with one a bit - she really loved me touching her after that under her clothes - damm she was TONED!
I suggested we go to a wine bar near my place or smoke - she said she would rather wine bar than smoke - so we head in my direction - mid way I just decide we will go to my place for a cocktail ad smoke. She is quite easily sold she just says she needs to get the last metro (I say yes I'm totally kicking you out you need to promise thats ok - I have work in the morning) - she follows - till now this has been a breeze - she has been following my lead, submitting and generally just telling me loads about herself - perfect deep dive partner!
At my place
We get in and she is hungry and tired - (its 10.30 - she hasn't eaten anything - might be best to have some food around for these problems - should have probably offered her some crisps) - I sit down with her basically falls asleep on the couch and says she needs to go home with the last metro. On terrace I take her hand and make her do a twirl - wow the way she moves (20 years+ of ballet!) - this is a nice move shows I can lead and gets compliance.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Problem - she asks me how old I am...
I ask her back - Turns out she is 30! Then I get her to guess how old I am - she thought I was the same age as her or 27... Now I face the dilemma I've faced with older women before - I could have told her I was 27 or even 30 - but there are risks with that..I told her I was actually 25 In this case (as in the last) but it turns out it would have been the RIGHT THING TO DO.
Almost all girls have the good girl society impression of themselves - they want to be seen as girls that only have bf's in ltr's - thats exactly what she had told me minutes before..
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I say no we're going to have a smoke first - so we go to my room sit on bed and smoke, she lies back and I escalate - she's definately turned on - breathing is going all over the place and at one point she even pushes me down and starts kissing my body. I get ontop and hand in back of jeans and into underwear - rubbing her externally - then initiate fingering and stop before she hesitates - pull back - then reinitiate again fingering but she very quickly resists again, I just lay back and say thats cool - she checks what time it is and then says "I'm not so easy to sleep with" I say "thats all in your dirty mind I don't know what youre talking about"
I tell her she will regret it and that its cold and she should sleepon my sofa - I ask and she agrees we will do the prearragned cooking the day after next...
Follow up
Text her - day of - no response - call - phone is off - shes not coming today - since she really enjoyed herself (she said) its not my fault other than telling her my age and maybe not pushing LMR hard enough - but I'm pretty sure she would have been back if I hadn't told her my age
=== I think I may have come across as too much of a fully rounded figure - real bf material - maybe I need to start dialling my overt value back - I tell them what jobs I have etc and I think that puts me in the boyfriend zone - BAD- any advice on managing this and making it more "sexy" than "provider"?? - I know chase talks about this, I understand the theory need more practical advice
=== I will in future lie about my age to older girls - I realise this isn't a problem for first night lays but I think girls will always have the long term possibility in mind so this covers that.
=== I think I might need to get rid of my two regular sources of sex - they are what I consider sub-gf material - one is great at sex BUT - I think it:
1. removes my aggression and hunger for it which..
2. reduces my ability to have great first time sex also
3. reduces my motivation for having sex on the first night - I don't push hard enough as a result of not being so fussed - I could push harder anyway - b
I've been using the very laid back approach to LMR for so long now I genuinely act the part really well that I don't want it - and my motivation is also genuinely reduced since I get it twice a week from other sources and any resistance just turns me off totally- I think one of chases articles talks about how this old method is actually not optimal in most situations?
Thus I think the abundance mentality with sex is actually shooting me in the foot here - maybe I should remove them (especially since they are expecting to spend time with me now - which is nice - BUT it gets in the way of the ultimate goal)
=== So Finally this is clearly becoming a major sticking point for me - the first night (which often becomes no night) sex - as I said in my last report - either end date before going into bedroom - OR it it an LR with more determination if required
Prequel - skip if you want the important bits
About a month ago I doing some day game and sat next to this girl with a killer body - turns out she is a dancer - something I cherish in a girl for many reasons. got her number then we texted - Went to this awesome bar I know about and she was loving it - could tell she wanted a kiss, and I did tease her with one a bit - she really loved me touching her after that under her clothes - damm she was TONED!
I suggested we go to a wine bar near my place or smoke - she said she would rather wine bar than smoke - so we head in my direction - mid way I just decide we will go to my place for a cocktail ad smoke. She is quite easily sold she just says she needs to get the last metro (I say yes I'm totally kicking you out you need to promise thats ok - I have work in the morning) - she follows - till now this has been a breeze - she has been following my lead, submitting and generally just telling me loads about herself - perfect deep dive partner!
At my place
We get in and she is hungry and tired - (its 10.30 - she hasn't eaten anything - might be best to have some food around for these problems - should have probably offered her some crisps) - I sit down with her basically falls asleep on the couch and says she needs to go home with the last metro. On terrace I take her hand and make her do a twirl - wow the way she moves (20 years+ of ballet!) - this is a nice move shows I can lead and gets compliance.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Problem - she asks me how old I am...
I ask her back - Turns out she is 30! Then I get her to guess how old I am - she thought I was the same age as her or 27... Now I face the dilemma I've faced with older women before - I could have told her I was 27 or even 30 - but there are risks with that..I told her I was actually 25 In this case (as in the last) but it turns out it would have been the RIGHT THING TO DO.
Almost all girls have the good girl society impression of themselves - they want to be seen as girls that only have bf's in ltr's - thats exactly what she had told me minutes before..
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I say no we're going to have a smoke first - so we go to my room sit on bed and smoke, she lies back and I escalate - she's definately turned on - breathing is going all over the place and at one point she even pushes me down and starts kissing my body. I get ontop and hand in back of jeans and into underwear - rubbing her externally - then initiate fingering and stop before she hesitates - pull back - then reinitiate again fingering but she very quickly resists again, I just lay back and say thats cool - she checks what time it is and then says "I'm not so easy to sleep with" I say "thats all in your dirty mind I don't know what youre talking about"
I tell her she will regret it and that its cold and she should sleepon my sofa - I ask and she agrees we will do the prearragned cooking the day after next...
Follow up
Text her - day of - no response - call - phone is off - shes not coming today - since she really enjoyed herself (she said) its not my fault other than telling her my age and maybe not pushing LMR hard enough - but I'm pretty sure she would have been back if I hadn't told her my age
