angle of engagement

[archimedes]

Angle of attack, or angle of entry if you don't like aggressive words. I mean entry into connection. This is an idea I'm working on. My pride or brain is probably a barrier to me getting better numbers. I see some men slide in and get to know a woman, like a little inflatable boat, a life raft with an outboard motor. They go in 'as friends' and listen and buy into her frame but come out anyway.

I guess I don't have time or energy for that. I am loving but I like to get a nod of respect. I like to set the frame right from the beginning, because that's how I want the relationship to be. I am loving but I want some male female polarity. Is this hurting me in this day and age?

I got the memo like everyone else. I went to public school. But I just because I heard things doesn't mean I absorbed them or that they'll never be questioned. But is this making me harder to relate to? I think of how maybe Sean Connory or Bond would relate to a woman. I'm not necessarily trying to be charming, just taking a different angle. If she says something I don't agree with and it's too early to dispute or challenge, I might politely nod but not positively affirm. This is what I mean.

Some guys come completely from the bottom, sucking up and being appendages. Parasites. I don't know how some guys do everything socially correct, and are nice, and still proceed to get the girl. it's like they break her down or dismantle her resistance systematically, and without error. Maybe it's their higher level of 'empathy' or neurotypical empathy, that keeps them from blowing it ever. That's my power theory now. They can 'empathize' but it's amazing how someone so normal and basic can slowly get the girl. Now if they get serious and if they get married, will she love and respect him in the coming years? There have been a few girls who have honored me. More than a few maybe but it's not often and not lately but they exist. They are God's angles. They are too uncommon.

What about the angle of attack on a day game? I always have to come from above kind of, erotically. I feel that is more erotic. I am a big believer in eros. So much of modern psychology seems to kill this, kill the polarity. The guy has to suppress his desire as opposed to containing it. Or contain it so tightly but I don't like doing that. I guess if you come from above, the risk is, things are more volatile, and often they break, and you get frustrated. If you go straight in, normally, which I can't even do, the risk is you get friend zoned.

What are your thoughts on angle of attack or angle of engagement?

 

[TwoNameGame]

Please keep it concise. No one likes reading walls of text.

I see some men slide in and get to know a woman

Always get to know her.

They go in 'as friends' and listen and buy into her frame but come out anyway.

Inefficient, low odds of success. Plus, it hurts her if she loses a "friend" after sex and it hurts you to wait.

I am loving but I like to get a nod of respect. I like to set the frame right from the beginning... I want some male female polarity. Is this hurting me in this day and age?

No, this is the best way to go about it.

I got the memo like everyone else. I went to public school. But I just because I heard things doesn't mean I absorbed them or that they'll never be questioned. But is this making me harder to relate to?

Are you asking if being polarizing and controversial is hurting you?

The answer is no for 3 reasons:

1. Being polarizing is better for arousing and attracting her because it is interesting and displays assertiveness and value.
2. Not being polarizing might extends interactions which go nowhere because she simply isn't attracted. It gives false hope.
3. If you want to be a lover and go for lays, you need to be less than 100% compatible. To put it simply, you just need to get her aroused and compliant in the short run, not set yourself up as the perfect long term partner. Seducers have laid crazy feminists in the past.

If she says something I don't agree with and it's too early to dispute or challenge, I might politely nod but not positively affirm. This is what I mean.

That's fine if it isn't a big deal.

But while you're screening for traits you do want, it's best to be reactive. If she says something you don't like, pull attention away to punish bad behavior. If it is something mildly questionable, tease her to add some spice and maybe lean into the absurdity.

Some guys come completely from the bottom, sucking up and being appendages. Parasites. I don't know how some guys do everything socially correct, and are nice, and still proceed to get the girl.

Kissing ass gets her friendly, but it builds neither love nor lust.

That said, compliments help and women like men who are nice and respectful in a valuable way. There are calibrated ways of doing this that DON'T make you a doormat, yet still make you attractive.

Maybe it's their higher level of 'empathy' or neurotypical empathy, that keeps them from blowing it ever.

It's called calibration. It is something you can learn like any skill. Do you think boxers are naturally able to read the signs of a punch coming or do they train?

That said, lack of empathy is undeniably a disadvantage, but there are solutions.

Now if they get serious and if they get married, will she love and respect him in the coming years?

Nice goal, but don't get ahead of yourself. Stay in the moment and DON'T think about a long term relationship too soon or you blind yourself.

Some guys think a girl is marriage material after 2 dates, when you don't know a girl until months at best.

They are God's angles.

Angels.

Most would say you shouldn't put women on a pedastal. These men are right.

Still, I have a passage that may resonate with you if you are inclined to see it as God's will.

Spoiler: Saul and Johnathan

Something that impacted me as a man is the Biblical story of Saul. Basically, Saul prayed to God for victory against the invaders. God blessed him, all Saul had to do was engage the army. Saul did not. Saul did not find victory that day.

But Johnathan prayed for help and began his approach. He then did what was necessary and succeeded.

Samuel 14:8-10:

8 Then Jonathan said, “Behold, we will cross over to the men, and we will show ourselves to them. 9 If they say to us, ‘Wait until we come to you,’ then we will stand still in our place, and we will not go up to them. 10 But if they say, ‘Come up to us,’ then we will go up, for the Lord has given them into our hand. And this shall be the sign to us.”

We can ask for angels, but we need the devotion to accept that which we seek, and the humility to work on ourselves. God may place our girlfriend in front of us dozens of times, but as seducers we need to approach or it isn't gonna work. There are angels all around us waiting to be met.

Do not fall to approach anxiety. Approach her, calibrate, lead, and screen. Find out if she is the one for you, and find out how far you should go.

Yes, I use the Bible to rationalize pickup artistry. I also told some biblical accounting jokes to colleagues and got them laughing.

What about the angle of attack on a day game?

Open direct but use plenty of push-pull from the start. If you are in the street, open from in front and stop her. If she is sitting, open her and sit next to her.

I guess if you come from above, the risk is, things are more volatile, and often they break, and you get frustrated. If you go straight in, normally, which I can't even do, the risk is you get friend zoned.

Right. High risk, high reward. Except you benefit from confidence and value. You also avoid a pleasant conversation eith a nice lesbian or taken girl who would never have slept with you anyways.