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Angry ex girlfriend

Arnav

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Nov 18, 2019
Messages
58
This is about a girl I was seeing who was in a relationship, we had a ptretty good friendhsip and were both attracted to each other, she told me repeatedly to make a move on her but I was hesitant and could not handle the logistics, I eventually did kiss her but was quite nervous and this turned her off a bit she was much colder afterwards, a few weeks later I again had a chance alone at her house and as I kissed her I again showed nervousness and she snapped at me angrily and asked me to stop being nervous,

we remained in touch and hung out few more weeks but she broke up with me and told me to move one and went back to her boyfriend, I was heartbroken and stopped talking to her and responding to her messages. We had a great bond and emotional connection she started missing me and trying to get back but I was too hurt by her droping me so coldly and making me feel so disposable.

I did meet her a few months later at an isolated parking lot, she came quite dressed up with her best make up on. She started arguing with me and fighting, being cold and disrespectfull this irriated me quite a bit, the next few weeks I again shut her down and ignored her texts but she continued texting me ocassionaly. She would tell me I was her best friend and that she doesn't have romantic feelings for me and misses me.

I met at her at the larking lot again, there she was dressed up with her best make up on, she was again quite cold towards me but was receptive to my touches and caressing her hair but she would ocassionaly hurl insults at me, become domineering and putting me down.


I could not understand why did she not move on forget about me she kept asking me to meet her and then show up all dolled up and then fight, be extremely rude, cold and condescending towards me. I leaned in to kiss her to call this lut these games and she moved away, and told me to not even try sucha thing again. I slowly leaned back out as I was quite dissapointed by this rejection. then she started scolding me for doing this but she still stayed there and jept talking to me for quite a while, I tried tk change the conversation to save face and we left.

Can someone explain to me this behaviour it's mystifying? why does she keep insisting ti meet me, show up dressed up in a parking loy and then be mean rude and condescending towards me?
 

Chase

Chieftan
Staff member
tribal-elder
Joined
Oct 9, 2012
Messages
5,976
@Arnav,

It's called auto-rejection.


She was attracted to you and wanted you to make love to her and make her your girlfriend.

When you didn't, it caused her to feel unattractive to you and unwanted, that you had rejected her.

Nothing you say to her can change that. She is paying attention to your actions, not your words.

she came quite dressed up with her best make up on. She started arguing with me and fighting, being cold and disrespectfull

there she was dressed up with her best make up on, she was again quite cold towards me but was receptive to my touches and caressing her hair but she would ocassionaly hurl insults at me, become domineering and putting me down.


Something you may want to try:


Then, next time:


Cheers,
Chase
 
a good date brings a smile to your lips... and hers
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