Any advice on going on a date with an 18 year old (I'm 26)

[Scofield]

I'm a grad student, met a girl a while back who's a freshman and really pretty. I was hesitant to make a move because of the age gap so I just chatted with her casually whenever I saw her. Hadn't seen her in a bit (winter break) so decided to see if she wanted to hang out and she agreed.

She knows I'm older than her (that I'm a grad student) but idk if she knows by how much. Should I bring up the age difference at all? Should I tease her about it? Should I offer her "college" advice? What if she brings it up?

Logistics: We can meet up Mon-Thurs (oops JUST remembered that Thurs is valentines day...maaybe not a good idea) at night or anytime Friday. Mon-Thurs we'd have to meet up at night due to my night classes/work, night is more romantic but I wouldn't have anywhere to take her (I'm staying with my parents atm) unless the date lasts until midnight. So I'd have to rely on her dorm room...which is super unreliable due to roommates (idk if she has one but I'll assume so to be safe atm) or my car. Friday we can hang out during the day (I don't have school/work, although I'll have to ditch my friends usual hangout) and I can take her to my place but day dates are less romantic. Her place/school is about 18 min from mine.

And I honestly am not sure what to do on a date with a girl so young....most of my dates involve going to bars. I usually do coffee dates, but I'm really not sure how to set the mood with that especially if we hang out during the day. Pretty much, how can I get her to see me as a "sexy older man" instead of as a "mentor"

So....any advice?

 

[Scofield]

Re: Any advice on going on a date with an 18 year old (I'm 2

Hate to bump so early, but I'm planning to arrange a time to meet up with her tomorrow....so any last min advice would be helpful. The plan is to pick her up from her dorm at 8, have coffee maybe dessert and then see if I can move things to her dorm, if not then to my car where I will make a move. Sucks that we can't go to my place, but I'd rather have the more romantic night than daytime and maaybe she'll be more into me before valentine's day than after.

 

[Garrett]

Re: Any advice on going on a date with an 18 year old (I'm 2

Scofield,

Good plan with the logistics, it's always good to have a backup option, and you always should have one just in case, but I understand that's not always possible.

Anyways, 8pm is a decent time to meet. Take her out for a coffee. I'm 19 so I can tell you what I think would work on girls around my age. Basically, just get her talking about herself, connect, relate, deep-dive, don't talk about yourself too much, don't mention your age unless she comments on it. Also, girls usually like guys who are older than them, and the fact that you're 26... I don't think that's going to harm you much, if anything it might benefit you!

So to sum up my thoughts, I would say take her out at 8, deep dive/conversate for 2 hours, take her to your car and escalate there. Chase has an article posted recently devoted to car sex. Read that and get prepared (towels, blankets (if it's cold where you are), condoms nearby and accessible, car seats set up, etc. Make sure you have a game plan on how you're going to escalate (are you going to drive somewhere isolated or are you going to escalate as soon as you get in the car?

In regards to her dorm, I wouldn't go there. One, it's risky, two, you don't want to wait 4 whole hours to escalate, that's a bit too long! You want to wait about 2-3 hours max to escalate, and I think going to your car around 10 would be ideal. On the date, just try your best to help her feel connected to you, then move her to your car, talk for max 10 minutes to make her comfortable then lean in over her and kiss her. Lie her down and escalate and have your condom in the cup holder or somewhere really close, maybe even have the pack opened to save you time. Finger her while you put it on, then go in and give her the best night of her life .

Feel free to post your results in the FR (hopefully will be a LR ). You've got my support on here Scofield. I hope it goes well for you man, but don't stress if it doesn't. I'll do my best to offer support if you need any future advice/guidance, as I know it's a bit of an emotional experience the first few times you do this/hard to do without support.

Cheers,
Garrett

 

[Scofield]

Re: Any advice on going on a date with an 18 year old (I'm 2

Thank you!

I think i will try to get to her dorm room...last few times i tried to make a move in my car it didnt go too well. If were in my car ill probably escalate in the parking lot....i dont think theres anywhere isolated i can drive to....

 

[Jay]

Re: Any advice on going on a date with an 18 year old (I'm 2

Scofeld,

I am 19 as well, and I have a lot of friends/acquaintances/lovers who are 18 year old girls, so I know exactly how they feel about this kind of thing.

I could talk about this for days but I have boiled it down to a couple points;
1. Don't bring up the specific age gap or offer college advice to her unless she brings it up first, and if she does, be short about it. You do not want to set up an older brother type of mentality.
2. Don't go to her dorm room. If you are 26 and look 26, your presence will be noted by everyone there, and unless you are stunningly physically attractive the girls and dudes on her hall will talk shit about her for bringing you there and her having a relationship with you in the first place. (Note: Depending on what type of girls her roommate/suitemates/hallmates are and how close they are this could shut you down very quickly, or build you up very quickly, depending on what they think of you, but it is better not to bother with it because it will require you to charm the hell out of them, which is very hard unless you look like a model, to gain approval and if you fail, it is basically over.)
3. Don't mention you stay with your parents if you don't absolutely have to, because that will be weird to an 18 year old girl.
4. Take her on a coffee date and game her like you normally would; treat her like she is your age, she will love it, then follow your standard procedure for closing. I suggest taking her to your parent's house and telling her it is your place honestly. If your parents are cool with it tell them to be gone for a bit and either tell them the real reason or make something up if they have some sort of problem with it...(if they do, God help you man, because I can't).
5. Remember to act your age, but include her at the same time. Even if she is incredibly immature, try to relate to her without bringing yourself down to that level of immaturity. Tell her about what you have going for you in your life, but mostly let her tell you about hers, and try not to act too superior.

That is really all I can think of to tell you right now man, hope it helps.

Jay

P.S. Just thought of something; you CAN take her to a bar, but make sure it is somewhere that wouldn't make her uncomfortable and somewhere you two will be left relatively alone. I have tried taking many of my attractive 18-19 year old friends/girlfriends to the dive bars I frequent and most of them were just scared by how everyone looked and acted and how frequently they got hit on by men 10 or 15 years their senior.

 

[Scofield]

Re: Any advice on going on a date with an 18 year old (I'm 2

Thank you....i actually look very age ambiguous being asian, but youre prolly right in that i dont want to risk it. Its just that making a move in my car has never gone well....and my house def isnt an option. Any additional advice will have to reach mein the next couple of hours!

 

[Jay]

Re: Any advice on going on a date with an 18 year old (I'm 2

Scofeld,

If you could pass as 21-22 or so you could probably roll up in the dorms at night and close. This would have to be something she suggested though; you could sort of guide her towards suggesting it, especially if she really seems like she wants it (think if she is giving strong signals you say something about wanting to go somewhere were you could talk more privately, if she suggests your place make a believable excuse and she should find her own way to the 'bring him back to your room' conclusion on her own).

Another good option would be a friend's place. This is imposing, but if you know the dude (or even girl) well enough this can work. Just pretend it is your place. You never have to prove it or see this bitch again, you just need to have sex with her (assuming that is your goal).

Also, if you can really amp up the sexual tension the car close option is actually great, especially for this sort of situation. She is already stepping out of her comfort zone by pursuing you sexually, and if you take the lead and frame the entire date/interaction as sexual she will be much more willing to experiment with new sexual situations.

Jay

 

[Scofield]

Re: Any advice on going on a date with an 18 year old (I'm 2

Whelp, I'll just post this here since it's not FR worthy.

Picked her up from her dorm. Went to a very "romantic" but casual dessert place that she loved. The talking went fine, I deep dived we bantered, talking and investment....but I had mild difficulty setting a sexy tone for the entire night. It may or may not have been the age gap (which wasn't really an issue at all on the surface). I was sexy at times but felt too friendly at other times. It would have been a good "first hour" but my plan backfired. After the place closed after an hour I suggested moving somewhere else and she said she actually really had to go back to the dorms to study for a test and get up at 6 am. I insisted twice and she was super apologetic but refused to go/do anything else. So I drove her back and dropped her off. Didn't even attempt to kiss as I didn't see the point if there was no way to escalate. If I had another hour I think I would have been okay....she suggested we hang out again next time but I already did all the deep dive stuff tonight...so IDK. I just really didn't pace it well, we spent about 10 minutes talking about the vampire diaries at the start, which would have been fine as a way to build comfort with her...but when it's 1/6 of the time we spent together it's just wasteful/poor pacing.

 

[Scofield]

Re: Any advice on going on a date with an 18 year old (I'm 2

Sorry to double post but I just wanted to add that there were also 2 cop cars in the otherwise empty parking lot since some cops decided to get a late night snack....def not conducive situations...

 

[Tyme2k]

Re: Any advice on going on a date with an 18 year old (I'm 2

I just saw this post today, may have been able to give you some pointers before.

Age doesn't matter for one. If it's a problem for her she will voice it and you dont talk to her lol. BUT it's never a problem for them, they love older guys because automatically we have more value.

I am 28 and only date younger girls. Oldest I've ever been with was 24. Now that said the main thing you have to do with young ones is lead, don't stagnate keep it exciting. To them it's all new and they want adventure. They also want someone who is strong and non reactive throughout. For example been dating a 20 year old that is in love with me now because I've done these things. If we go out she is nervous and unsure, but I just sit there calm tentative so she can actually relax. I lead and bam easy to escalate, banged her on day2.