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Any advice to fix this issue

EternalStudent

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
May 21, 2021
Messages
19
So during one of my sparring sessions last week, I just overheard from a conversation between my coach and some of my teammates that apparently that I'm "too smart for my own good." Now since he's someone that's known me for over a decade, I take this criticism to heart. However, I'm open to any feedback since that's a trait that can and probably already has put me in trouble.
 

Chase

Chieftan
Staff member
tribal-elder
Joined
Oct 9, 2012
Messages
6,170
@CovidIsHereToStay,

Well, whatever it is you're doing to create that impression, it is something visible / external, otherwise your coach wouldn't have said it.

It probably means he thinks you spend too much time overthinking/deliberating before plunging into action. i.e., not decisive enough:


Could also mean he thinks you spend too much time in your head, working over problems, rather than getting things done. i.e., mental masturbation:


Ultimately your coach is saying you're analytical to a fault, and would be better served to dive into action more, do whatever comes to mind first, and listen to instinct/your gut a little more liberally.

Chase
 

EternalStudent

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
May 21, 2021
Messages
19
@CovidIsHereToStay,

Well, whatever it is you're doing to create that impression, it is something visible / external, otherwise your coach wouldn't have said it.

It probably means he thinks you spend too much time overthinking/deliberating before plunging into action. i.e., not decisive enough:


Could also mean he thinks you spend too much time in your head, working over problems, rather than getting things done. i.e., mental masturbation:


Ultimately your coach is saying you're analytical to a fault, and would be better served to dive into action more, do whatever comes to mind first, and listen to instinct/your gut a little more liberally.

Chase
Acting first (within reason) and thinking later seems like the underlying message to me. I appreciate it Chase.
 

Troy

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jul 11, 2013
Messages
729
that apparently that I'm "too smart for my own good."
Usually when I see things like this, I keep quiet and mind my own business. But this is honestly rubbing me the wrong way. Yes you are definitely too smart for your own good. And it does come across by what you named your GC profile.

You could not think of a better name for your profile than "CovidIsHereToStay"?

Damn bro, come on. This looks so tacky its 1000% cringe. I have met people like this in real life and they are usually come across as very annoying. Take this as constructive feedback. I recommend starting with changing your name here and then posting more in detail reports so we can help you out. Im also glad Chase replied to you already.
 

EternalStudent

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
May 21, 2021
Messages
19
Usually when I see things like this, I keep quiet and mind my own business. But this is honestly rubbing me the wrong way. Yes you are definitely too smart for your own good. And it does come across by what you named your GC profile.

You could not think of a better name for your profile than "CovidIsHereToStay"?

Damn bro, come on. This looks so tacky its 1000% cringe. I have met people like this in real life and they are usually come across as very annoying. Take this as constructive feedback. I recommend starting with changing your name here and then posting more in detail reports so we can help you out. Im also glad Chase replied to you already.
Could you help me understand how you thought that from just my username? Besides that, I appreciate the feedback.
 

Chase

Chieftan
Staff member
tribal-elder
Joined
Oct 9, 2012
Messages
6,170
Could you help me understand how you thought that from just my username? Besides that, I appreciate the feedback.

@Troy means because it comes across like you are flaunting contrarian / "I'm a deep thinker" positions unrelated to the subject matter.

The experience in someone reading it is "This guy's trying to show me how clever and opinionated he is but in a tone-deaf way."

(e.g., if you were on a right wing site or a conspiracy site you could have that username and it'd be fine. Or if you were posting on Reddit or YouTube comments it might be a funny troll if you were out to rustle some jimmies. But on a non-political board, like a seduction board, or one about carpentry, or model cars, or what have you, it just looks tone deaf. If you're doing things like that here, you're likely doing/saying things like that elsewhere)

Chase
 

Rakehell

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Mar 28, 2021
Messages
769
When I hear “too smart for your own good” what immediately comes to mind is thinking you know everything and being adverse to most feedback.

From a coaches perspective this would be like telling your student that a wider stance is more beneficial, yet the student contends that he rather have a narrower stance because it’s more comfortable.

Edit: I used to get this a lot (i’m not super agreeable). If you eer on the side of arguments and consider yourself “knowledgeable” on some stuff this might be what he’s saying.
 
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EternalStudent

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
May 21, 2021
Messages
19
@Troy means because it comes across like you are flaunting contrarian / "I'm a deep thinker" positions unrelated to the subject matter.

The experience in someone reading it is "This guy's trying to show me how clever and opinionated he is but in a tone-deaf way."

(e.g., if you were on a right wing site or a conspiracy site you could have that username and it'd be fine. Or if you were posting on Reddit or YouTube comments it might be a funny troll if you were out to rustle some jimmies. But on a non-political board, like a seduction board, or one about carpentry, or model cars, or what have you, it just looks tone deaf. If you're doing things like that here, you're likely doing/saying things like that elsewhere)

Chase
I see, thanks for the clarity.
 

Troy

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jul 11, 2013
Messages
729
Could you help me understand how you thought that from just my username? Besides that, I appreciate the feedback.
Yes definitely. I will share more. Chase actually took what I wanted to say and explained it much better than I could myself. I will expound further as well based on my experience with people who come across the way you do.
@Troy means because it comes across like you are flaunting contrarian / "I'm a deep thinker" positions unrelated to the subject matter.

The experience in someone reading it is "This guy's trying to show me how clever and opinionated he is but in a tone-deaf way."

(e.g., if you were on a right wing site or a conspiracy site you could have that username and it'd be fine. Or if you were posting on Reddit or YouTube comments it might be a funny troll if you were out to rustle some jimmies. But on a non-political board, like a seduction board, or one about carpentry, or model cars, or what have you, it just looks tone deaf. If you're doing things like that here, you're likely doing/saying things like that elsewhere)

Chase
This is 100% correct. I was actually thinking of the best way to explain this last night...and I fell asleep lol.

So @CovidIsHereToStay here is the reality. When people choose names like yours and put it on Reddit or Youtube comments, it comes across as either:

- Show off
- Weird
- Funny (if adjusted to the channel and the content)
- Tone deaf

It comes across as "this guy is somewhat insensitive to others feelings about a very touchy topic. And he has no problem showing everyone how informed he is".

Check out this link to get what I am saying:


I have actually heard of parents naming their kids some weird stuff. I think to myself "what were these parents smoking when they delivered their child".

The worst I heard is a Mom attempting to name her child "Anus" https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/facebook-anus-lucifer-worlds-9-9179443

Imagine if your parents named you "Anus" and you had to go to school and tell all the kids your name. Especially in a Western country. I would have sympathy for such a person because by the time they finish school, they would probably have low self esteem by all the bullying and jokes dished around just their name.

So let me reel this back in a bit. When I hear of someone being "too smart for their own good", I think of the following possibilities:

1. This person likes to show everyone how "intelligent" they are at the expense of hurting others self esteem.

2. "This person likes to show up their superiors. Eg. a coach who is leading the group and some guy on the team tries to tell his coach how dumb he is".

3. Giving others unsolicited advice to others... And even when that person has made it clear they dont want the advice, the person just keeps talking about the same thing.

....there are more, but I cannot think of anymore at the moment. However when you start to post field reports of your interactions, myself and the other guys will be able to pinpoint where exactly you are making mistakes. Before I end though, I do have some generic advice I can give to not come across as "too smart for your own good".

Never Outshine The Master

This comes from "The 48 Laws Of Power" by Robert Greene. In summary this means "

Always make those above you feel comfortably superior. Hide the extent of your own talents, as your masters may otherwise feel insecure. The better you make your master appear, the greater the level of power you will attain. Those above you want to feel secure and superior in their positions. This may involve making a few harmless mistakes so that you can ask your master for help.

If, however, you are more naturally charming than your master, it would be best to avoid working for them entirely.


(Resource: https://www.oberlo.com/blog/48-laws-of-power-robert-greene-summary)

Win Through Your Actions, Never Through Argument


This is law #9 from the same book. In summary:

"Any triumph you gain through argument will be short lived. Resentment will fester in your opponents instead of a genuine change of opinion. Instead, let your actions speak for you. If people agree with you through your actions instead of your words, you are more likely to sway lasting opinions. Words are a dime a dozen, and people will say anything to prove a point. Action is where you demonstrate your beliefs."

(Resource: https://www.oberlo.com/blog/48-laws-of-power-robert-greene-summary)

Recreate Yourself

Thats why you are here. Focus on being a good conversationalist. Give out genuine compliments to others. Focus on bringing positive energy to others. Thats what GirlsChase is all about so glad to have you here.


The 21 Irrefutable Laws Of Leadership

This is a really good book by John Maxwell. It costs less than $20. I would recommend reading it. As it will show you the blueprint to leading others and using that "intelligence" of yours to uplift everyone around you.

Those are a few off the top of my head. Again this is just some generic advice because I do not know your situation in detail. When you post field reports, include as much of the conversation you had with others and we will be able to guide you further.

Troy
 
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EternalStudent

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
May 21, 2021
Messages
19
Yes definitely. I will share more. Chase actually took what I wanted to say and explained it much better than I could myself. I will expound further as well based on my experience with people who come across the way you do.

This is 100% correct. I was actually thinking of the best way to explain this last night...and I fell asleep lol.

So @CovidIsHereToStay here is the reality. When people choose names like yours and put it on Reddit or Youtube comments, it comes across as either:

- Show off
- Weird
- Funny (if adjusted to the channel and the content)
- Tone deaf

It comes across as "this guy is somewhat insensitive to others feelings about a very touchy topic. And he has no problem showing everyone how informed he is".

Check out this link to get what I am saying:


I have actually heard of parents naming their kids some weird stuff. I think to myself "what were these parents smoking when they delivered their child".

The worst I heard is a Mom attempting to name her child "Anus" https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/facebook-anus-lucifer-worlds-9-9179443

Imagine if your parents named you "Anus" and you had to go to school and tell all the kids your name. Especially in a Western country. I would have sympathy for such a person because by the time they finish school, they would probably have low self esteem by all the bullying and jokes dished around just their name.

So let me reel this back in a bit. When I hear of someone being "too smart for their own good", I think of the following possibilities:

1. This person likes to show everyone how "intelligent" they are at the expense of hurting others self esteem.

2. "This person likes to show up their superiors. Eg. a coach who is leading the group and some guy on the team tries to tell his coach how dumb he is".

3. Giving others unsolicited advice to others... And even when that person has made it clear they dont want the advice, the person just keeps talking about the same thing.

....there are more, but I cannot think of anymore at the moment. However when you start to post field reports of your interactions, myself and the other guys will be able to pinpoint where exactly you are making mistakes. Before I end though, I do have some generic advice I can give to not come across as "too smart for your own good".

Never Outshine The Master

This comes from "The 48 Laws Of Power" by Robert Greene. In summary this means "

Always make those above you feel comfortably superior. Hide the extent of your own talents, as your masters may otherwise feel insecure. The better you make your master appear, the greater the level of power you will attain. Those above you want to feel secure and superior in their positions. This may involve making a few harmless mistakes so that you can ask your master for help.

If, however, you are more naturally charming than your master, it would be best to avoid working for them entirely.


(Resource: https://www.oberlo.com/blog/48-laws-of-power-robert-greene-summary)

Win Through Your Actions, Never Through Argument


This is law #9 from the same book. In summary:

"Any triumph you gain through argument will be short lived. Resentment will fester in your opponents instead of a genuine change of opinion. Instead, let your actions speak for you. If people agree with you through your actions instead of your words, you are more likely to sway lasting opinions. Words are a dime a dozen, and people will say anything to prove a point. Action is where you demonstrate your beliefs."

(Resource: https://www.oberlo.com/blog/48-laws-of-power-robert-greene-summary)

Recreate Yourself

Thats why you are here. Focus on being a good conversationalist. Give out genuine compliments to others. Focus on bringing positive energy to others. Thats what GirlsChase is all about so glad to have you here.


The 21 Irrefutable Laws Of Leadership

This is a really good book by John Maxwell. It costs less than $20. I would recommend reading it. As it will show you the blueprint to leading others and using that "intelligence" of yours to uplift everyone around you.

Those are a few off the top of my head. Again this is just some generic advice because I do not know your situation in detail. When you post field reports, include as much of the conversation you had with others and we will be able to guide you further.

Troy
Thanks for the clarity. I'll start posting more detailed field reports moving forward.
 
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