Any advice to fix this issue

[EternalStudent]

So during one of my sparring sessions last week, I just overheard from a conversation between my coach and some of my teammates that apparently that I'm "too smart for my own good." Now since he's someone that's known me for over a decade, I take this criticism to heart. However, I'm open to any feedback since that's a trait that can and probably already has put me in trouble.

 

[Chase]

@CovidIsHereToStay,

Well, whatever it is you're doing to create that impression, it is something visible / external, otherwise your coach wouldn't have said it.

It probably means he thinks you spend too much time overthinking/deliberating before plunging into action. i.e., not decisive enough:

How to Be Decisive

There it is: the Big Decision. On the one hand, you've got Road #1. And it is a tempting choice. It seems like a great path to go down... maybe everything you want. Except you're not 100% sure it'll work out. And if it doesn't, you'll have lost all that time going down it. Then, on the other...

www.girlschase.com

Could also mean he thinks you spend too much time in your head, working over problems, rather than getting things done. i.e., mental masturbation:

Do You Really Need to Know, or Is It Just Mental Masturbation?

Information is good to have, and plans can be useful. Nevertheless, sometimes it goes too far – into the realm of mental masturbation. There's a term from the mid-2000-naughts, somewhat less popular now, called 'mental masturbation'. Mental masturbation is any line of thought people spend time...

www.girlschase.com

Ultimately your coach is saying you're analytical to a fault, and would be better served to dive into action more, do whatever comes to mind first, and listen to instinct/your gut a little more liberally.

Chase

 

[EternalStudent]

@CovidIsHereToStay,

Well, whatever it is you're doing to create that impression, it is something visible / external, otherwise your coach wouldn't have said it.

It probably means he thinks you spend too much time overthinking/deliberating before plunging into action. i.e., not decisive enough:

How to Be Decisive

There it is: the Big Decision. On the one hand, you've got Road #1. And it is a tempting choice. It seems like a great path to go down... maybe everything you want. Except you're not 100% sure it'll work out. And if it doesn't, you'll have lost all that time going down it. Then, on the other...

www.girlschase.com

Could also mean he thinks you spend too much time in your head, working over problems, rather than getting things done. i.e., mental masturbation:

Do You Really Need to Know, or Is It Just Mental Masturbation?

Information is good to have, and plans can be useful. Nevertheless, sometimes it goes too far – into the realm of mental masturbation. There's a term from the mid-2000-naughts, somewhat less popular now, called 'mental masturbation'. Mental masturbation is any line of thought people spend time...

www.girlschase.com

Ultimately your coach is saying you're analytical to a fault, and would be better served to dive into action more, do whatever comes to mind first, and listen to instinct/your gut a little more liberally.

Chase

Acting first (within reason) and thinking later seems like the underlying message to me. I appreciate it Chase.

 

[Troy]

that apparently that I'm "too smart for my own good."

Usually when I see things like this, I keep quiet and mind my own business. But this is honestly rubbing me the wrong way. Yes you are definitely too smart for your own good. And it does come across by what you named your GC profile.

You could not think of a better name for your profile than "CovidIsHereToStay"?

Damn bro, come on. This looks so tacky its 1000% cringe. I have met people like this in real life and they are usually come across as very annoying. Take this as constructive feedback. I recommend starting with changing your name here and then posting more in detail reports so we can help you out. Im also glad Chase replied to you already.

 

[EternalStudent]

Usually when I see things like this, I keep quiet and mind my own business. But this is honestly rubbing me the wrong way. Yes you are definitely too smart for your own good. And it does come across by what you named your GC profile.

You could not think of a better name for your profile than "CovidIsHereToStay"?

Damn bro, come on. This looks so tacky its 1000% cringe. I have met people like this in real life and they are usually come across as very annoying. Take this as constructive feedback. I recommend starting with changing your name here and then posting more in detail reports so we can help you out. Im also glad Chase replied to you already.

Could you help me understand how you thought that from just my username? Besides that, I appreciate the feedback.

 

[Chase]

Could you help me understand how you thought that from just my username? Besides that, I appreciate the feedback.

@Troy means because it comes across like you are flaunting contrarian / "I'm a deep thinker" positions unrelated to the subject matter.

The experience in someone reading it is "This guy's trying to show me how clever and opinionated he is but in a tone-deaf way."

(e.g., if you were on a right wing site or a conspiracy site you could have that username and it'd be fine. Or if you were posting on Reddit or YouTube comments it might be a funny troll if you were out to rustle some jimmies. But on a non-political board, like a seduction board, or one about carpentry, or model cars, or what have you, it just looks tone deaf. If you're doing things like that here, you're likely doing/saying things like that elsewhere)

Chase

 

[Rakehell]

When I hear “too smart for your own good” what immediately comes to mind is thinking you know everything and being adverse to most feedback.

From a coaches perspective this would be like telling your student that a wider stance is more beneficial, yet the student contends that he rather have a narrower stance because it’s more comfortable.

Edit: I used to get this a lot (i’m not super agreeable). If you eer on the side of arguments and consider yourself “knowledgeable” on some stuff this might be what he’s saying.

 

[EternalStudent]

@Troy means because it comes across like you are flaunting contrarian / "I'm a deep thinker" positions unrelated to the subject matter.

The experience in someone reading it is "This guy's trying to show me how clever and opinionated he is but in a tone-deaf way."

(e.g., if you were on a right wing site or a conspiracy site you could have that username and it'd be fine. Or if you were posting on Reddit or YouTube comments it might be a funny troll if you were out to rustle some jimmies. But on a non-political board, like a seduction board, or one about carpentry, or model cars, or what have you, it just looks tone deaf. If you're doing things like that here, you're likely doing/saying things like that elsewhere)

Chase

I see, thanks for the clarity.

 

[Troy]

Could you help me understand how you thought that from just my username? Besides that, I appreciate the feedback.

Yes definitely. I will share more. Chase actually took what I wanted to say and explained it much better than I could myself. I will expound further as well based on my experience with people who come across the way you do.

@Troy means because it comes across like you are flaunting contrarian / "I'm a deep thinker" positions unrelated to the subject matter.

The experience in someone reading it is "This guy's trying to show me how clever and opinionated he is but in a tone-deaf way."

(e.g., if you were on a right wing site or a conspiracy site you could have that username and it'd be fine. Or if you were posting on Reddit or YouTube comments it might be a funny troll if you were out to rustle some jimmies. But on a non-political board, like a seduction board, or one about carpentry, or model cars, or what have you, it just looks tone deaf. If you're doing things like that here, you're likely doing/saying things like that elsewhere)

Chase

This is 100% correct. I was actually thinking of the best way to explain this last night...and I fell asleep lol.

So @CovidIsHereToStay here is the reality. When people choose names like yours and put it on Reddit or Youtube comments, it comes across as either:

- Show off
- Weird
- Funny (if adjusted to the channel and the content)
- Tone deaf

It comes across as "this guy is somewhat insensitive to others feelings about a very touchy topic. And he has no problem showing everyone how informed he is".

Check out this link to get what I am saying:

https://www.boredpanda.com/funny-unfortunate-names/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=organic

I have actually heard of parents naming their kids some weird stuff. I think to myself "what were these parents smoking when they delivered their child".

The worst I heard is a Mom attempting to name her child "Anus" https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/facebook-anus-lucifer-worlds-9-9179443

Imagine if your parents named you "Anus" and you had to go to school and tell all the kids your name. Especially in a Western country. I would have sympathy for such a person because by the time they finish school, they would probably have low self esteem by all the bullying and jokes dished around just their name.

So let me reel this back in a bit. When I hear of someone being "too smart for their own good", I think of the following possibilities:

1. This person likes to show everyone how "intelligent" they are at the expense of hurting others self esteem.

2. "This person likes to show up their superiors. Eg. a coach who is leading the group and some guy on the team tries to tell his coach how dumb he is".

3. Giving others unsolicited advice to others... And even when that person has made it clear they dont want the advice, the person just keeps talking about the same thing.

....there are more, but I cannot think of anymore at the moment. However when you start to post field reports of your interactions, myself and the other guys will be able to pinpoint where exactly you are making mistakes. Before I end though, I do have some generic advice I can give to not come across as "too smart for your own good".

Never Outshine The Master

This comes from "The 48 Laws Of Power" by Robert Greene. In summary this means "

Always make those above you feel comfortably superior. Hide the extent of your own talents, as your masters may otherwise feel insecure. The better you make your master appear, the greater the level of power you will attain. Those above you want to feel secure and superior in their positions. This may involve making a few harmless mistakes so that you can ask your master for help.

If, however, you are more naturally charming than your master, it would be best to avoid working for them entirely.

(Resource: https://www.oberlo.com/blog/48-laws-of-power-robert-greene-summary)

Win Through Your Actions, Never Through Argument​

This is law #9 from the same book. In summary:

"Any triumph you gain through argument will be short lived. Resentment will fester in your opponents instead of a genuine change of opinion. Instead, let your actions speak for you. If people agree with you through your actions instead of your words, you are more likely to sway lasting opinions. Words are a dime a dozen, and people will say anything to prove a point. Action is where you demonstrate your beliefs."

(Resource: https://www.oberlo.com/blog/48-laws-of-power-robert-greene-summary)

Recreate Yourself

Thats why you are here. Focus on being a good conversationalist. Give out genuine compliments to others. Focus on bringing positive energy to others. Thats what GirlsChase is all about so glad to have you here.

Don’t be So Afraid to Compliment Others

Several times over the years, both on this site and in our newsletter, I’ve discussed compliments: both how to compliment, as well as when to do it, what compliments work best, and even a few nonverbal tricks to make your compliments more convincing.

www.girlschase.com

How to Compliment a Girl Like You've Known Her for Years

In the article on causes and cures for a moody girlfriend, a reader asks about how to compliment a girl, saying: “Hi there Chase, Can you write an article about compliments to girls that [you] are interested in. Not just from that you approached cold but girls that you met through hobbies or...

www.girlschase.com

The Conversationalist

Conversation and the conversationalist: probably one of the most under-discussed topics in the social arts. What a pity. Conversation is part of the backbone upon which everything related to socializing is built upon, but in the 21st century that’s almost forgotten. You might go so far as to say...

www.girlschase.com

How to Flirt with a Girl

The other day I got told I was a very good flirt. And, I suppose, I am. Of course, I wasn't always a good flirt... well, perhaps I was always at least a little bit of a flirt. What's it matter if you know how to flirt with a girl or not? In fact, it matters a good deal. Flirting is how you...

www.girlschase.com

At Ease in Your Skin: Key to Being a Great Natural Flirt

You don’t have to be a master of observation to realize most guys flat out suck when it comes to flirting. And this isn’t even necessarily because they don’t know all the right techniques. The reason for it is actually much more fundamental. What is this fundamental reason, you ask? Only this...

www.girlschase.com

Bring the Energy: Being the Life of the Party

My good friend David – who also goes by “Asian Rake” – made a point some time ago that set the gears working in my head. He said something along the lines of, “You know what I’ve realized all naturals have in common? They build up the energy of everyone around them.” This was something I’d...

www.girlschase.com

The 21 Irrefutable Laws Of Leadership

This is a really good book by John Maxwell. It costs less than $20. I would recommend reading it. As it will show you the blueprint to leading others and using that "intelligence" of yours to uplift everyone around you.

Those are a few off the top of my head. Again this is just some generic advice because I do not know your situation in detail. When you post field reports, include as much of the conversation you had with others and we will be able to guide you further.

Troy

 

[EternalStudent]

Yes definitely. I will share more. Chase actually took what I wanted to say and explained it much better than I could myself. I will expound further as well based on my experience with people who come across the way you do.

This is 100% correct. I was actually thinking of the best way to explain this last night...and I fell asleep lol.

So @CovidIsHereToStay here is the reality. When people choose names like yours and put it on Reddit or Youtube comments, it comes across as either:

- Show off
- Weird
- Funny (if adjusted to the channel and the content)
- Tone deaf

It comes across as "this guy is somewhat insensitive to others feelings about a very touchy topic. And he has no problem showing everyone how informed he is".

Check out this link to get what I am saying:

https://www.boredpanda.com/funny-unfortunate-names/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=organic

I have actually heard of parents naming their kids some weird stuff. I think to myself "what were these parents smoking when they delivered their child".

The worst I heard is a Mom attempting to name her child "Anus" https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/facebook-anus-lucifer-worlds-9-9179443

Imagine if your parents named you "Anus" and you had to go to school and tell all the kids your name. Especially in a Western country. I would have sympathy for such a person because by the time they finish school, they would probably have low self esteem by all the bullying and jokes dished around just their name.

So let me reel this back in a bit. When I hear of someone being "too smart for their own good", I think of the following possibilities:

1. This person likes to show everyone how "intelligent" they are at the expense of hurting others self esteem.

2. "This person likes to show up their superiors. Eg. a coach who is leading the group and some guy on the team tries to tell his coach how dumb he is".

3. Giving others unsolicited advice to others... And even when that person has made it clear they dont want the advice, the person just keeps talking about the same thing.

....there are more, but I cannot think of anymore at the moment. However when you start to post field reports of your interactions, myself and the other guys will be able to pinpoint where exactly you are making mistakes. Before I end though, I do have some generic advice I can give to not come across as "too smart for your own good".

Never Outshine The Master

This comes from "The 48 Laws Of Power" by Robert Greene. In summary this means "

Always make those above you feel comfortably superior. Hide the extent of your own talents, as your masters may otherwise feel insecure. The better you make your master appear, the greater the level of power you will attain. Those above you want to feel secure and superior in their positions. This may involve making a few harmless mistakes so that you can ask your master for help.

If, however, you are more naturally charming than your master, it would be best to avoid working for them entirely.

(Resource: https://www.oberlo.com/blog/48-laws-of-power-robert-greene-summary)

Win Through Your Actions, Never Through Argument​

This is law #9 from the same book. In summary:

"Any triumph you gain through argument will be short lived. Resentment will fester in your opponents instead of a genuine change of opinion. Instead, let your actions speak for you. If people agree with you through your actions instead of your words, you are more likely to sway lasting opinions. Words are a dime a dozen, and people will say anything to prove a point. Action is where you demonstrate your beliefs."

(Resource: https://www.oberlo.com/blog/48-laws-of-power-robert-greene-summary)

Recreate Yourself

Thats why you are here. Focus on being a good conversationalist. Give out genuine compliments to others. Focus on bringing positive energy to others. Thats what GirlsChase is all about so glad to have you here.

Don’t be So Afraid to Compliment Others

Several times over the years, both on this site and in our newsletter, I’ve discussed compliments: both how to compliment, as well as when to do it, what compliments work best, and even a few nonverbal tricks to make your compliments more convincing.

www.girlschase.com

How to Compliment a Girl Like You've Known Her for Years

In the article on causes and cures for a moody girlfriend, a reader asks about how to compliment a girl, saying: “Hi there Chase, Can you write an article about compliments to girls that [you] are interested in. Not just from that you approached cold but girls that you met through hobbies or...

www.girlschase.com

The Conversationalist

Conversation and the conversationalist: probably one of the most under-discussed topics in the social arts. What a pity. Conversation is part of the backbone upon which everything related to socializing is built upon, but in the 21st century that’s almost forgotten. You might go so far as to say...

www.girlschase.com

How to Flirt with a Girl

The other day I got told I was a very good flirt. And, I suppose, I am. Of course, I wasn't always a good flirt... well, perhaps I was always at least a little bit of a flirt. What's it matter if you know how to flirt with a girl or not? In fact, it matters a good deal. Flirting is how you...

www.girlschase.com

At Ease in Your Skin: Key to Being a Great Natural Flirt

You don’t have to be a master of observation to realize most guys flat out suck when it comes to flirting. And this isn’t even necessarily because they don’t know all the right techniques. The reason for it is actually much more fundamental. What is this fundamental reason, you ask? Only this...

www.girlschase.com

Bring the Energy: Being the Life of the Party

My good friend David – who also goes by “Asian Rake” – made a point some time ago that set the gears working in my head. He said something along the lines of, “You know what I’ve realized all naturals have in common? They build up the energy of everyone around them.” This was something I’d...

www.girlschase.com

The 21 Irrefutable Laws Of Leadership

This is a really good book by John Maxwell. It costs less than $20. I would recommend reading it. As it will show you the blueprint to leading others and using that "intelligence" of yours to uplift everyone around you.

Those are a few off the top of my head. Again this is just some generic advice because I do not know your situation in detail. When you post field reports, include as much of the conversation you had with others and we will be able to guide you further.

Troy

Thanks for the clarity. I'll start posting more detailed field reports moving forward.