FR ArcticBarbie

[Marty]

TLDR: Met an ultra-high-value 22-year-old in day game; group approach offered limited rapport-building opportunity; need to know how soon to contact her again.

Full field report:

It is Sunday, January 19, approaching 5 PM. It is an unseasonably warm and sunny evening; I have arranged to meet my cousin shortly in a large park in our city. I park my car in the surrounding streets; a little red-brick bridge connects the neighborhood with the adjoining park.

As I am crossing the bridge, I pass two very young-looking and spectacular girls. Both are over 6'0" and slim to the point of athletic... I'm talking sub-19 body mass index, it's as if I've walked in on a women's beach-volleyball pair. One is African-American, the other quite obviously European. Though casually dressed, both have a natural glamour in their poise, their ease of movement. I hear snippets of their happy, carefree conversation as I pass; the European has a distinctive accent that I prick up my ears at.

I walk another twenty feet, stop and lean upon the brick parapet of the bridge. All around are weekend strollers chatting, laughing, gazing down at the dog park below; I do not stand out at all. I casually look back at the girls, the setting sun behind me giving me the advantage of observation.

The blonde is photographing the African-American in varying poses. She is making a big deal of it, putting in plenty of effort to get the angle just right. With her back to me, she sets her jean-clad, slender legs a couple feet apart, bends forward with the camera-phone in both hands, and sticks back her taut ass in a manner that would make the Pope trip over his cassock. I realize I have time to do this properly.

I close the distance, stand right behind the blonde and catch the African-American's eye. She addresses me. "Are we in your way?" she asks with pleasant smile.

"Not at all," I reply. "I just wondered whether you'd like a picture together."

They accept and I take the camera-phone, snap them with minimal fuss, and hand it back. "What are your names?" I ask.

We introduce ourselves and I go direct on the blonde who is wearing an outrageous shade of pink on her lips. "You have a very chic lipstick," I say. "It suits you beautifully."

She thanks me and I ask where she is from, suspecting the answer already from the characteristic name. She is Russian, from a city in the far North which I have not visited, but am familiar with and have been nearby (in relative terms... everything is far apart in Russia). I address her in Russian (I am fluent in the language). After a couple sentences I break off, say "Excuse us while we speak Russian!" to the African-American, who laughs and urges us to carry on, and then I immediately resume.

She tells me a little of how she came to the States. She has recently graduated and started her career, putting her at about 22 I suppose. I wonder for a second about asking her out in front of her friend, and then realize her friend doesn't understand a word. (She'll pick up the body language though—and the phone number exchange!) Anyway, I suggest we meet for tea, ArcticBarbie accepts and punches her number into my phone. I wish them both well in their respective languages, and as I turn my back the African-American calls after me: "Do svidania!" to which we all laugh.

At 8 PM the same evening I send an icebreaker text message: "Good to meet you, ArcticBarbie! Save my number Marty".

No response. (This doesn't worry me too much as LongSexyLegs, who was also Russian and whom I approached in the exact same way, with a group photo offer, also never responded to my icebreaker yet went on a date with me anyway.)

Tonight (Tuesday), at 9 PM, i.e. 48 hours later I call; she doesn't pick up and I leave a voice message, in Russian, saying "Hey ArcticBarbie, I wanted to ask how you're schedule's looking and figure out a time for that cup of tea. Didn't catch you but not to worry, we'll speak some other time."

Now here's my question to you fellas: should I now leave it a week or so before calling again? Or maybe send a text? Or do you think I should follow up sooner? Any good suggestions welcome!

Thanks

-Marty

 

[-B-]

just messaged you

 

[Light]

Hey buddy,

You did really well. There isn't anything more I can add to due to her friend being there waiting also. But here is what you can do next time to move things further:

- Before asking for her number, ask them both what their plans are, and join them! Aim to spend the rest of the day or evening together as new friends.
This works because there is a 3rd party (her friend). It is pretty much the same as asking a girl out straight away for a date on that day.
If they agree, then you've just hit the jackpot. Because that is a huge investment on their side - They're investing their time on you.. a stranger.
She is saying that she wants to know more about you.
It will give you the chance to build rapport with both of them, and deep dive the one you like.
It gives you more time to ask for her number at a high point, and she will be more likely to respond to your ice breaker text next time.

The first time I tried this was when I was abroad on holiday, and it worked like magic. I ended up scheduling a date to the theme park the very next day with her (and her friend of course, but I had a wingman too
They are more likely to agree to hang out if you give them a valid reason - you're a tourist for example and had limited time here.

Give it a go next time.

Now here's my question to you fellas: should I now leave it a week or so before calling again? Or maybe send a text? Or do you think I should follow up sooner? Any good suggestions welcome!

- With the benefit of the doubt that she may very well be busy, it isn't unusual for her not to reply to you. Some people don't even listen to their voice messages either.
The best thing to do is to send her another text, because that way you know she will eventually read it.
I would text her again the very next day, asking her something related to the day you met. Eg: Asking her if she had taken any gorgeous pictures elsewhere. Then ask her if she is free for a X day.

If she doesn't reply again, wait another 2 days before contacting her again.
If she still doesn't reply, wait another 3 days.
I call it the 123 waiting process for novices.
You don't have to follow exactly that, but I just want you to get the idea of what kind of time frame you should be aiming for.
It all depends on how well your first encounter went, and if there was any significant chemistry happening between the 2 of you. Whatever works for you
You don't want to come across as desperate, but at the same time you don't want her to lose interest in you for not moving fast enough.

What happens if she still doesn't reply after the 3rd or 4th time???
Ignore her and wait for her turn to contact you. If she doesn't within 2 weeks she is as good as gone. Delete her number.

 

[Marty]

-B- thanks a million, I messaged you back.

Light:

Thank you, this is some real valuable advice. I particularly liked the idea of tagging along with the girls (in a non–social-burden way, of course) and think I could've done it if I'd tried, because the African-American (who was a beautiful woman too) seemed quite positive about me, if anything more so than ArcticBarbie. I'll make every effort to do this if I get another similar opportunity.

I also liked this:

I would text her again the very next day, asking her something related to the day you met. Eg: Asking her if she had taken any gorgeous pictures elsewhere.

I'll try that exact wording. She may need her memory jogged as I'd imagine she gets a fair amount of male attention.

If that doesn't produce a date, I'll move on... I'm not mentally invested in this one, I just don't want to pass up a perfectly good opportunity.

Thank you for your sound guidance.

-Marty

 

[Nova]

TLDR: Met an ultra-high-value 22-year-old in day game; group approach offered limited rapport-building opportunity; need to know how soon to contact her again.

Full field report:

It is Sunday, January 19, approaching 5 PM. It is an unseasonably warm and sunny evening; I have arranged to meet my cousin shortly in a large park in our city. I park my car in the surrounding streets; a little red-brick bridge connects the neighborhood with the adjoining park.

As I am crossing the bridge, I pass two very young-looking and spectacular girls. Both are over 6'0" and slim to the point of athletic... I'm talking sub-19 body mass index, it's as if I've walked in on a women's beach-volleyball pair. One is African-American, the other quite obviously European. Though casually dressed, both have a natural glamour in their poise, their ease of movement. I hear snippets of their happy, carefree conversation as I pass; the European has a distinctive accent that I prick up my ears at.

I walk another twenty feet, stop and lean upon the brick parapet of the bridge. All around are weekend strollers chatting, laughing, gazing down at the dog park below; I do not stand out at all. I casually look back at the girls, the setting sun behind me giving me the advantage of observation.

The blonde is photographing the African-American in varying poses. She is making a big deal of it, putting in plenty of effort to get the angle just right. With her back to me, she sets her jean-clad, slender legs a couple feet apart, bends forward with the camera-phone in both hands, and sticks back her taut ass in a manner that would make the Pope trip over his cassock. I realize I have time to do this properly.

I close the distance, stand right behind the blonde and catch the African-American's eye. She addresses me. "Are we in your way?" she asks with pleasant smile.

"Not at all," I reply. "I just wondered whether you'd like a picture together."

They accept and I take the camera-phone, snap them with minimal fuss, and hand it back. "What are your names?" I ask.

We introduce ourselves and I go direct on the blonde who is wearing an outrageous shade of pink on her lips. "You have a very chic lipstick," I say. "It suits you beautifully."

She thanks me and I ask where she is from, suspecting the answer already from the characteristic name. She is Russian, from a city in the far North which I have not visited, but am familiar with and have been nearby (in relative terms... everything is far apart in Russia). I address her in Russian (I am fluent in the language). After a couple sentences I break off, say "Excuse us while we speak Russian!" to the African-American, who laughs and urges us to carry on, and then I immediately resume.

She tells me a little of how she came to the States. She has recently graduated and started her career, putting her at about 22 I suppose. I wonder for a second about asking her out in front of her friend, and then realize her friend doesn't understand a word. (She'll pick up the body language though—and the phone number exchange!) Anyway, I suggest we meet for tea, ArcticBarbie accepts and punches her number into my phone. I wish them both well in their respective languages, and as I turn my back the African-American calls after me: "Do svidania!" to which we all laugh.

At 8 PM the same evening I send an icebreaker text message: "Good to meet you, ArcticBarbie! Save my number Marty".

No response. (This doesn't worry me too much as LongSexyLegs, who was also Russian and whom I approached in the exact same way, with a group photo offer, also never responded to my icebreaker yet went on a date with me anyway.)

Tonight (Tuesday), at 9 PM, i.e. 48 hours later I call; she doesn't pick up and I leave a voice message, in Russian, saying "Hey ArcticBarbie, I wanted to ask how you're schedule's looking and figure out a time for that cup of tea. Didn't catch you but not to worry, we'll speak some other time."

Now here's my question to you fellas: should I now leave it a week or so before calling again? Or maybe send a text? Or do you think I should follow up sooner? Any good suggestions welcome!

Thanks

-Marty

Hey Marty.

Firstly, well done for seeing the opportunity for approach when the girls were taking photos. This is an important thing for me, being able to recognize a chance and seize it by the balls (or tits)... definitely tits. Many times, specifically during day gaming you will lose a girls in seconds for whatever reason ie meeting with friends, catching the train, getting in a cab etc, not all of the time, but the potential to lose your targets fairly quickly does exist during the midst of a busy day. Being able to suck it up and approach when you spot a genuine green light in vital. Many beginners would have watched the girls taking photos and assumed that they should be left, in hope that he could catch them up in a bit, only to have the girls walk in the opposite direction meaning he would have to run after them looking like a desperate twat to catch up and engage. Having the vision to spot an opportunity and take it is surely what creates winners.

I assume you are conscious of the necessity for a powerful, sexy vibe and smooth body language and are always looking for ways to improve? Thing is, when critiquing a field report obviously the critic don't get to see the dude (you) in action and thus being able to give feedback on vibe etc which is so vital is not possible. So i'll just assume you are always working on it and are aware of how important it is. Your vibe in my opinion, largely dictates what you can get away with saying and how much you actually need to say in order to pull, which is why, sometimes, when someone critiques your conversation snippets, always be aware that whilst there may have been a better way of saying something from a technical aspect, that doesn't mean that you did anything wrong or anything that majorly inhibited your chances with the girl, providing your vibe was correct. Vibe gives you so much leeway with what you get get away with saying.

I think asking the gals if they would like their picture taken was a fantastic way of getting things rolling smoothly, and then asking for their names, builds a bit of rapport and comfort. Nice unique and personal compliment to the blonde, asking her where she was from, yeh fine, then being able to develop further rapport via speaking in russian, very good, then you found out a little about the russian which builds a certain connection and can help her remember you, again good. And in the end you got her number and agreed to meet for tea. Well done, honestly. Let me say, if your vibe & fundamentals were how they should be, there was nothing wrong with that interaction at all baring a few technical niggles that could be argued but aren't even really worth mentioning. I feel the interaction had a nice balance.

Would have been a nice bonus during the conversation to disqualify yourself as a potential boyfriend candidate and/or promote scarcity, this will help slot you into the correct place in her mind.

I would have done the same thing (getting her number, meeting the blonde without her friend at a further time) versus joining them together for the rest of the day, but that's just me - In my opinion it is a 'cleaner' way of doing things and providing you do things right and handle logistics further on leaves no real opportunity for you to fuck things up. Whereas if you were to spend the day with her and the African, well you know, it could cause unnecessary complications and mess things up, the potential is there. Also I don't like the idea of being with her and the friend (unless you sensed they were happy go lucky sexy lesbian chicks looking for a man to spice things up tonight) - But on the flip side is also could have presented you and the blonde with the opportunity of being alone in the evening that very same day, getting jiggy, but that's life you never quite know for sure.There was no completely right way of going about this, I guess it comes down to personal style etc.

Good timing for an ice breaker text also.

You know, there could be a million and one reasons as to why a girl may not respond after an ice breaker even after a seamlessly smooth interaction. You don't know whats going on in her life and what her circumstances are. Don't sweat it.

For me, as she didn't respond to your icebreaker or pickup her phone I would leave it a week to assure you don't come off to strong/desperate. Wait five days, see if she responds to your phone call in the meantime (maybe she was just busy) - and then send her another text, just something simple 'hey 'name' hope your good, so how about about that tea, you got much going on in the week? - marty' - you could send a text the next day but honestly I doubt persisting that much will make much of a difference. I would feel it more effective to leave it five or so days, and then text her, reminding her of who you are and perhaps kick starting her interest. I just think texting her the day after an unanswered phone call with a prior ice breaker text just two days earlier leaves you looking as though you care a little too much and could push her further away.

If she doesn't bite, move on and call it bad luck. Perhaps some work is needed on your basic fundamentals & vibe?

But all in all, very well done in my opinion !

 

[Marty]

Nova:

This is an important thing for me, being able to recognize a chance and seize it by the balls (or tits)... definitely tits.

Yeah, I learned the hard way but I'm getting a bit better at it.

Your vibe in my opinion, largely dictates what you can get away with saying and how much you actually need to say in order to pull, which is why, sometimes, when someone critiques your conversation snippets, always be aware that whilst there may have been a better way of saying something from a technical aspect, that doesn't mean that you did anything wrong or anything that majorly inhibited your chances with the girl, providing your vibe was correct. Vibe gives you so much leeway with what you get get away with saying.

Good point. I have no idea what my vibe is actually like, I'm always working on improving my habits though. Results will show! I've lost this one for sure, but I'm keeping at it.

Would have been a nice bonus during the conversation to disqualify yourself as a potential boyfriend candidate and/or promote scarcity, this will help slot you into the correct place in her mind.

Yeah, I have no idea how I'd go about doing this though (for the future).

(unless you sensed they were happy go lucky sexy lesbian chicks looking for a man to spice things up tonight)

Nope, definitely heterosexual.

Perhaps some work is needed on your basic fundamentals & vibe?

For sure. I have had some excellent advice from another user via PM (apparently my hair is a disgrace) so I'm working on fixing various aspects of my appearance. Just hit the gym today; I'm lean with some muscle definition but not really powerful-looking enough just yet.

-Marty