- Joined
- Dec 20, 2012
- Messages
- 798
Hi guys,
I'm putting this in the beginner section, it's a little random as it's a bit of a brain dump of things I've been thinking about lately.
I've mentioned before that I keep a hand in online dating. It's not a goldmine but there are some good girls on there. One trend I notice though is that since this morning (Sunday) my mailbox has been blowing up. It does every Sunday, Monday will be busy and then less and less as the week goes on. I can kind of see what's going on there. As people get closer to the weekend, they get busier, they make plans, and we're all thinking "Online dating, uck, I'll go out Saturday and meet someone great"... then Sunday morning coms, another hangover sets in and people realize they met nobody or at least the ones they did, didn't measure up to much.
I guess this is something more advanced guys might have realized a long time ago. Most guys are average or underwhelming and that's probably an oppertunity for guys like us. I might be at the bar thinking, oh man, the girls are drewling over that football player or hot guy over there... but come Sunday morning, they are alone, he never stepped up, or if he did approach her, was probably boring or had no game... and come Sunday morning she's back to looking for someone else... next week, rinse repeat. If guys like us can step up our game and stop assuming that guy is "better", there must be oppertunity for us to walk up and BE that guy she is looking for and not just another underwhelming average guy.
My last longterm girlfriend actually ended things with me a while back. She was a "relationship orientated" girl but always seemed to think the grass was greener. In hindsight I made mistakes but that's not the point here. The point is within a week of us breaking up, she was with a new guy, she told me we couldn't talk as she had met this awesome guy and was practically in love already... 2 weeks later, she left him. And she has done the same over and over since. She's still single, I even see she's got an online account now. I acknowledge I made mistakes but it's also a case like above... she felt she could get better, she dumped me and went out there to meet this "great guy" which she met within a week of us breaking up, yet... so long later... she's still looking for that "better guy". I have no desire to go back there, it's just a point how guys need to step up I guess. Those guys she saw while she was with me and wanted to meet them, well... I guess they never lived up to much.
Same goes for approaching women. Why do they often make it so hard for themselves?
A while back, a friend visiting from back home decided to have a little fun and play the Barney Stinson "Have you met...." game... just for a little fun. Anyway, he opened 2 girls behind us, I didn't even see them. The girl he targetted for me was into me. But her friend started to give me stick for "needing a wingman". I didn't really react to her and played it off well and just engaged her friend and she turned out to be pretty cool. But it was one of those situations where you ask... WHY did she do that? I guess it's a girls way of screening guys, how do I react.
At the same time I'm thinking, well... they were there to meet that guy they are looking for. Yet when 2 pretty well dressed good guys approached they immediately turned to "test mode" until we pushed through it. It seems counter-intuitive. Do they just make it harder on themselves sometimes?
At the same time, if you DO push past that resistance, it seems to make the interaction go so much better afterwards.
Anyway, sorry, that was a bit of a random braindump but wanted to get it down in writing.
Thanks guys,
E.
I'm putting this in the beginner section, it's a little random as it's a bit of a brain dump of things I've been thinking about lately.
I've mentioned before that I keep a hand in online dating. It's not a goldmine but there are some good girls on there. One trend I notice though is that since this morning (Sunday) my mailbox has been blowing up. It does every Sunday, Monday will be busy and then less and less as the week goes on. I can kind of see what's going on there. As people get closer to the weekend, they get busier, they make plans, and we're all thinking "Online dating, uck, I'll go out Saturday and meet someone great"... then Sunday morning coms, another hangover sets in and people realize they met nobody or at least the ones they did, didn't measure up to much.
I guess this is something more advanced guys might have realized a long time ago. Most guys are average or underwhelming and that's probably an oppertunity for guys like us. I might be at the bar thinking, oh man, the girls are drewling over that football player or hot guy over there... but come Sunday morning, they are alone, he never stepped up, or if he did approach her, was probably boring or had no game... and come Sunday morning she's back to looking for someone else... next week, rinse repeat. If guys like us can step up our game and stop assuming that guy is "better", there must be oppertunity for us to walk up and BE that guy she is looking for and not just another underwhelming average guy.
My last longterm girlfriend actually ended things with me a while back. She was a "relationship orientated" girl but always seemed to think the grass was greener. In hindsight I made mistakes but that's not the point here. The point is within a week of us breaking up, she was with a new guy, she told me we couldn't talk as she had met this awesome guy and was practically in love already... 2 weeks later, she left him. And she has done the same over and over since. She's still single, I even see she's got an online account now. I acknowledge I made mistakes but it's also a case like above... she felt she could get better, she dumped me and went out there to meet this "great guy" which she met within a week of us breaking up, yet... so long later... she's still looking for that "better guy". I have no desire to go back there, it's just a point how guys need to step up I guess. Those guys she saw while she was with me and wanted to meet them, well... I guess they never lived up to much.
Same goes for approaching women. Why do they often make it so hard for themselves?
A while back, a friend visiting from back home decided to have a little fun and play the Barney Stinson "Have you met...." game... just for a little fun. Anyway, he opened 2 girls behind us, I didn't even see them. The girl he targetted for me was into me. But her friend started to give me stick for "needing a wingman". I didn't really react to her and played it off well and just engaged her friend and she turned out to be pretty cool. But it was one of those situations where you ask... WHY did she do that? I guess it's a girls way of screening guys, how do I react.
At the same time I'm thinking, well... they were there to meet that guy they are looking for. Yet when 2 pretty well dressed good guys approached they immediately turned to "test mode" until we pushed through it. It seems counter-intuitive. Do they just make it harder on themselves sometimes?
At the same time, if you DO push past that resistance, it seems to make the interaction go so much better afterwards.
Anyway, sorry, that was a bit of a random braindump but wanted to get it down in writing.
Thanks guys,
E.