Are there some times you should not approach/risk rejection?

[Rain]

Are there some situations where you should not approach? I think Chase wrote somewhere that alot of the stuff taught here is about balance. Are any of the below times you should not approach or risk rejection?

- sign a new rental, and you thought about asking the property manager who manages the place you are now living in/renting in
- buying a car, and you thought about asking out the woman who either owns the business or works in the admin/sales there
- taking out a loan, asking out the woman who gave the loan

So the situations above are where there are bigger things at stake than just asking out a waitress. Eg you buy food there, or at the supermarket, or kmart, not a big amount of money. But when buying or renting a house, or same with a car, a loan of some sort, there's lots more money on the line.

Are the scenarios above general no-nos or am I thinking worst case scenario? Eg with a car, what if it needs some warranty repairs, but there's conflict of interest since you asked out? Or thats only an issue if she says yes and you are seeing each other and it ends badly anyways? Same with renting if something breaks there.

If there are some times to not ask out, even if the above scenarios are ok, feel free to share them in the thread.

 

[Smiling_Stray]

I'd say that's up to you decide in the moment if it's worth the risk or not as what you're asking seems very situational but yeah, obviously there's a time and place. I've had to leave jobs because I fucked up when a lesbian coworker agreed to go out with me and we just couldn't make things work (she got promoted above me not long after she went bitter) and I've also been kicked out a school for getting intimate with a classmate... during class (Somewhere on campus not in the classroom)

Of course, if your not risking anything big like your home or paycheck i'd say when in doubt, action over inaction. I've flirted with waitresses and customers from out of the area during my time in retail (that are definitely not going to be repeat customers) nothing bad usually comes of it. At worst, its awkward and we go our separate ways only to forget about it a week later. At best, we have a good time and maybe she becomes someone important in my life. Can't express this enough: Action over inaction. I'd rather regret doing than not doing.

 

[Skjöldr]

"Don't shit where you eat" comes to mind. Though in my opinion people take it way too far. I have had guys say not to approach in the gym, which i disagree hard with. It is what you you yourself are comfortable with. Sometimes you just gotta own the fact that you have a cock and like girls, and yes, you wanna approach them and take them out sometime, because you're a dude with a penis and she's a beautiful chick and you would like to shoot your load inside her. So what? God made you that way.

Know those childhood friends/acquaintances you have because your parents and her parents were friends and when they got together, they would bring their kids with them? Yeah i have asked a few of those childhood friends out. Don't care what my parents think or what their parents think. They can think you are weird for it, but they can't disrespect you for it. It takes balls.

It all depends on degrees and what you are comfortable with. Do you wanna go balls out with this game/pick up stuff or do you wanna set some limitations for yourself? I steer clear of her if she seems like trouble. Like, if i ask her out and start dating her, she has a crazy father/brother/male friends etc which can pose physical danger to me. Fuck that. No girl is worth that. It also means i am cautious with girls from say... certain cultural backgrounds. I simply steer clear of them. I'm into white girls and i'm white myself, so usually no problem. But that's the only time i avoid approaching^

Don't set too many limitations on what girls you can approach and what girls you cannot. Only when you have squashed your approach anxiety can you think clearly and make rational limitations. Like not making a move on your friend's mother (unless she's giving heavy IOI's hehe)

 

[Skills]

Are there some situations where you should not approach? I think Chase wrote somewhere that alot of the stuff taught here is about balance. Are any of the below times you should not approach or risk rejection?

- sign a new rental, and you thought about asking the property manager who manages the place you are now living in/renting in
- buying a car, and you thought about asking out the woman who either owns the business or works in the admin/sales there
- taking out a loan, asking out the woman who gave the loan

So the situations above are where there are bigger things at stake than just asking out a waitress. Eg you buy food there, or at the supermarket, or kmart, not a big amount of money. But when buying or renting a house, or same with a car, a loan of some sort, there's lots more money on the line.

Are the scenarios above general no-nos or am I thinking worst case scenario? Eg with a car, what if it needs some warranty repairs, but there's conflict of interest since you asked out? Or thats only an issue if she says yes and you are seeing each other and it ends badly anyways? Same with renting if something breaks there.

If there are some times to not ask out, even if the above scenarios are ok, feel free to share them in the thread.

of course you can... You just kind of ping them/shit test them to get a reaction very very indirectly.... Women do this all the time... indirectly in a flirty way ask about their relationship status...

"if you were me and you are looking for a place to move with your BF, would you move here?"
"does your bf drives a car like this"
" you are an exellent loan officer is your bf in the business too"


^ in all of this the subcommunication is i am interested, are you available? and she knows this... if she respond positive … "i don't have a bf/ hubby" is game on...

All of these are kind of weak examples just to make the point on asking indirectly to get a reaction...

 

[Water]

Something similar has been on my mind. I guess seeing this asked makes me think of one answer off the top of my head, which is that you cannot predict the outcome of any approach. Uh...

Skills, can you gauge the potential outcome or come close to it? I have roughly 2,000 cold approaches, not many in real standards for mastery, you probably have a large multiple of that, so a much wider amount of experiences to draw from. Maybe your hypothetical or imagined scenarios are much more accurate?

Let me know, thanks!

 

[Skills]

Something similar has been on my mind. I guess seeing this asked makes me think of one answer off the top of my head, which is that you cannot predict the outcome of any approach. Uh...

Skills, can you gauge the potential outcome or come close to it? I have roughly 2,000 cold approaches, not many in real standards for mastery, you probably have a large multiple of that, so a much wider amount of experiences to draw from. Maybe your hypothetical or imagined scenarios are much more accurate?

Let me know, thanks!

^ at work (though i am totally against hooking up at work and clients), i do this a lot, though is just do it for practice, and to get them to do things for me (reviews on google for example)..... But again using flirty humor as i am giving a presentation to clients, or the clients/co-workers start opening in up to me or being warm to me, or laughing and my stuff....What has work for me a lot has been accusing them of "liking me and/or loving me" in humorous/flirticious no serious way.... "you love me" with voice up and down intonation, or "you like me" "or look at you, you love me" and then cont. with convos.... ---> i do this a lot is hard to explain (maybe some day i do a video showing it...) i did an article though not related but i kind talk about this (razo jack does the same by the way) http://www.theskillsmethod.com/women-open-club/

i also do honest complement "Something looks different, oh i know you are having a good hair day, looks good on you" --- i am pinging to see reactions, if is positive then you can cont. on (very carefully), if is fuck off reaction/body language you have to change topics.... it takes practice and calibration so i know the different situations...