Expectations Are these red flags on my new long-term girlfriend?

[TwoNameGame]

So, I'm close to officially entering my first ever relationship. I use seduction to find a long term relationship, not lays (for now). I have 0 experience, but I'm wondering if these red flags are reasons for me to not enter a long term relationship.

1. Potential daddy issues: She is very feminine and her dad wanted a son, leading to lots of disappointment and pressure. Her dad also left the family for a couple years to "sort out his priorities" but came back. She says she forgave him. I have some hobbies and possible traits in common with her dad.
2. Naive: We discuss the lyrics and themes of music often; it is actually the source of our first deep dive. We listened to some songs about the band described a manipulative love based on dependence but with thinly veiled red flags. She seems to not realize the darkness and just enjoys the platitudes and alleged "unconditional love".
3. Satanic interests: That band is Ghost, which is satanic. I'm not looking for a church girl, nor am I strictly looking for a Christian. I have hung out with pagans, but this seems like a step too far. I wonder how strong her moral code could be if she likes this group for the wrong reasons.
4. Busy: She has been busy with exams during midterms (so have I) and we haven't seen each other in 2 weeks. We text often and streamed a movie seperately, but she has been busy during the one time we could go out. I think she gave good compliance and invested a lot in me, but I can't help but suspect I moved too slow and she might leave me.

Foolishly, I quit pickup for a while after our first date due to player guilt, but recently went back since there is nothing wrong if we aren't exclusive. So, I currently lack options.

 

[Chase]

You're both college students? What country? What's the sex ratio at your school?

You should be aware that it is definitely a seller's market if you are on a university campus in the U.S. The sex-ratio is heavily skewed in men's favor (many more girls than guys) at most universities. Girls will tend to be on their best behavior and do whatever they can to rope a guy into an LTR.

However what that means is that a girl who is great LTRs in that environment (sex-ratio skewed in your favor) may not be as good out in the wild post-graduation, once she has more options again.

The other thing I would say is... if you are in college with these skills, I mean, take a GF if you need one to get some love, shore up your confidence, get a little sex/relationship experience, etc.

But right now the sex-ratio is heavily in your favor and it is going to be easier to get laid as a beginner so long as you are just making an effort than you will have it pretty much anywhere else.

I'd try and take advantage of that at some point during my college career before you're outta there if I was you.

Unless "banging a bunch of chicks" just really does not appeal to you... I know for some guys it's not something they want.

WRT to the "red flags" -- you both sound young and none of the things you described are make or break for a relationship.

If you want sexual fidelity you need to be looking at things like how many orbiters she keeps and how involved with them she is... how much she goes out and/or flirts with other men... what her sexual history looks like... what her attitudes toward sex are... etc.

If you are looking for "red flags she might be a terrible girlfriend, aside from any fidelity-related concerns" then you are mostly going to be looking for how eager & willing to accommodate you she is or not (she should be eager).

Chase

 

[TwoNameGame]

You're both college students? What country? What's the sex ratio at your school?

We attend a California university with over 35k students. The male:female ratio is about 45:55. Although there are rare issues with PUAs, no one seems to have a problem with me.

Granted, I limit myself to girly girls who I find interesting, approach indicators be damned. I tend to do "street" approaches with tight deadlines.

However what that means is that a girl who is great LTRs in that environment (sex-ratio skewed in your favor) may not be as good out in the wild post-graduation, once she has more options again.

Noted, thanks

Unless "banging a bunch of chicks" just really does not appeal to you... I know for some guys it's not something they want.

I don't feel motivated by sex. I'm mostly interested in deep dives, but I'm a virgin who literally doesn't know what he is missing.

WRT to the "red flags" -- you both sound young and none of the things you described are make or break for a relationship.

I guess I just got spooked after deep diving into some distasteful stuff.

If you want sexual fidelity you need to be looking at things like how many orbiters she keeps and how involved with them she is... how much she goes out and/or flirts with other men... what her sexual history looks like... what her attitudes toward sex are... etc.

Thanks.

If you are looking for "red flags she might be a terrible girlfriend, aside from any fidelity-related concerns" then you are mostly going to be looking for how eager & willing to accommodate you she is or not (she should be eager).

She asks all kinds of personal questions and gives good compliance. She has invested in me and even makes gifts for me. She also gave some escalation windows I was too inexperienced to capitalize on. We have so much in common that she doesn't feel much need to "accomodate" me. Except for her being willing to get out of her comfort zone and meet for drinks at new places despite her diet and specific tastes. We had a few minor differences in interpretation that I resolved with Yes-ladders, changing her mood, and appealing to the core issue.

The only issue is she has been too busy with midterms to see me, so I had to talk her into a study date (granted, she mostly doubted my qualification to help her given we have seperate, but related majors).