- Joined
- Mar 16, 2015
- Messages
- 1,032
Yesterday I was out doing some approaches as well as getting my Pokemon Go steps in (battle me losers lol) and I had a bit of a situation that turned out to be a nothing burger. But at the time I thought I was in a dangerous spot (long story short because it doesn't belong on the forums, I was being a paranoid fuck).
Anywhoo, the point is, is that I thought it was dangerous at the time. But instead of leaving right away I was running through my head about how many potential women I was going to lose out on and how to work around the situation. Though I did manage to force myself to leave, while I was leaving I started thinking about Michael Jordon for some reason and how in sports, there are two types of players:
1) Those who play to win
2) And those who play to not lose
Jordon played to win.
Yesterday, I had to force myself to focus on what I could have lost out on if I didn't leave. I really didn't want to because a lot of new women were showing up to this park around this time and I really wanted to approach some of them (including one girl who I somehow just barely missed out on when I came back an hour later... she was there when I was parking my car and gone when I got out... she had nice tits ):
To me, this was playing to win and it's something that I'm curious about other guys on here. Especially those that tend to complain more than they try to fix their own situations. I don't hide the fact that I complain more than I should but I am out here actively approaching and trying to get shit done. Even today I have two dates set up, one for later tonight (although this one is up in the air and based on what her baby daddy does with the kids) and one for tomorrow that I met yesterday in that park right before forcing myself to leave.
It's an interesting mindset to think about and I'd be willing to bet that the people who eventually get good at this stuff are playing to win. They're focused on what they could gain, just like I was yesterday before I forced myself to think otherwise and prioritize my safety. Just like the greats in sports are overly focused on winning. Seriously, could you ever picture Michael Jordon playing scared basketball trying to not lose? And make no mistake, if you're playing to not lose then you are playing scared.
It's also fun to think about when guys will meet a girl they really like and switch gears from playing to win to instead playing to not lose and slowing themselves down, even if they have a green light and a wide open highway to speed through.
So my question for you is: are you playing to win? Or are you playing to not lose?
As for me, I'm perhaps too focused on playing to win and have my eyes on exactly what I want to the point of obsession. It's even getting in the way of other parts of my life that I'm doing my best to mitigate. But I just can't help it, I absolutely need to get this figured out. And I mean that seriously, I don't want to go out and approach because it's not fun for me, it's a lot of work and takes time out of my day to go out and pound the pavement until I have blisters on my feet to try and figure this day game skill out.
I felt the same way when I was slaving away with online dating (I'm a 7, which means that I actually have to put in work for online dating to get it figured out). Granted, I could and should have just spent that time in the gym, probably, but it became an obsession to figure it out as I was before changing myself physically. Which I still haven't gotten around to doing lol. Meanwhile, other people who have spent that time in the gym have it far easier than I do. But when I do get around to hitting the gym like I should, I can guarantee that when I do get back onto the apps, I'll blow their results out of the water because I had to learn everything from the ground up to get results.
Even though I get frustrated and pissy about cold approach, I ultimately feel the same way about it. I absolutely need to learn it.
Do you need to learn it? Or do you just want it?
Anywhoo, the point is, is that I thought it was dangerous at the time. But instead of leaving right away I was running through my head about how many potential women I was going to lose out on and how to work around the situation. Though I did manage to force myself to leave, while I was leaving I started thinking about Michael Jordon for some reason and how in sports, there are two types of players:
1) Those who play to win
2) And those who play to not lose
Jordon played to win.
Yesterday, I had to force myself to focus on what I could have lost out on if I didn't leave. I really didn't want to because a lot of new women were showing up to this park around this time and I really wanted to approach some of them (including one girl who I somehow just barely missed out on when I came back an hour later... she was there when I was parking my car and gone when I got out... she had nice tits ):
To me, this was playing to win and it's something that I'm curious about other guys on here. Especially those that tend to complain more than they try to fix their own situations. I don't hide the fact that I complain more than I should but I am out here actively approaching and trying to get shit done. Even today I have two dates set up, one for later tonight (although this one is up in the air and based on what her baby daddy does with the kids) and one for tomorrow that I met yesterday in that park right before forcing myself to leave.
It's an interesting mindset to think about and I'd be willing to bet that the people who eventually get good at this stuff are playing to win. They're focused on what they could gain, just like I was yesterday before I forced myself to think otherwise and prioritize my safety. Just like the greats in sports are overly focused on winning. Seriously, could you ever picture Michael Jordon playing scared basketball trying to not lose? And make no mistake, if you're playing to not lose then you are playing scared.
It's also fun to think about when guys will meet a girl they really like and switch gears from playing to win to instead playing to not lose and slowing themselves down, even if they have a green light and a wide open highway to speed through.
So my question for you is: are you playing to win? Or are you playing to not lose?
As for me, I'm perhaps too focused on playing to win and have my eyes on exactly what I want to the point of obsession. It's even getting in the way of other parts of my life that I'm doing my best to mitigate. But I just can't help it, I absolutely need to get this figured out. And I mean that seriously, I don't want to go out and approach because it's not fun for me, it's a lot of work and takes time out of my day to go out and pound the pavement until I have blisters on my feet to try and figure this day game skill out.
I felt the same way when I was slaving away with online dating (I'm a 7, which means that I actually have to put in work for online dating to get it figured out). Granted, I could and should have just spent that time in the gym, probably, but it became an obsession to figure it out as I was before changing myself physically. Which I still haven't gotten around to doing lol. Meanwhile, other people who have spent that time in the gym have it far easier than I do. But when I do get around to hitting the gym like I should, I can guarantee that when I do get back onto the apps, I'll blow their results out of the water because I had to learn everything from the ground up to get results.
Even though I get frustrated and pissy about cold approach, I ultimately feel the same way about it. I absolutely need to learn it.
Do you need to learn it? Or do you just want it?
