Ask her out or a drink. End up paying for a f dinner. How to avoid?

[razir110]

So this has been happening lately,

I schedule a date for 2030 after dinner, I state this in the message "let's meet after dinner, around 2030"

She shows up and says she is hungry and orders a meal. I am not hungry bc I ate at home, it said "after dinner" on the invitation.

Then the bill arrives and, of course, in the name of female empowerment and independence, I have to pay the drinks and the fucking food I didn't even touch. And then, I might not even sleep with her. Happened yesterday, got a fucking kiss on the cheek and paid 50USD for food I didn't have.

So, how do you guys avoid this?

I seriously think of just saying the above to her like "girl this was a drinks invitation, so I cover the drinks you pay your food." I mean it's ridiculous I even have to think about this, shouldn't it be obvious for her that if she is the only one having food, she pays for her food?

This does set a shitty vibe however and if she is into me, she may change her mind, bla bla. So the best way to deal with this is to avoid it in first place.

Should I set the dates even later? Like 930? It's just that 930 is too late for many, so yeah... wtf do I do?

I feel like an idiot even having to post this, for real!

As a side-rant, when will women make a new trend of paying their own shit on dates, or even better, just pay the whole bill when the guy goes to the toilet? Wouldn't this show how they are independent and don't need men?

Anyways, some ideas would be welcome!

Cheers

 

[StrayDog]

Seems to me like you probably had a bit of a poor frame here to begin with. I cant recall a single date where a women ever tried to pull that kind of crap on me (not that I haven't encountered other snafus, of course). Hard to say where exactly your date took a dive, but clearly she didn't respect you in this situation.

Maybe screen better?
Set a better precedent where you invite her to invest in better framing before you take her out?
Pick a much more casual venue, where dinner and a drink will only put you back $20?
Joke around like "Girl, I pay for that meal and you'll be visiting me in a card board box"?

 

[POB]

Here, read the comments too.
https://www.skilledseducer.com/thre...ve-money-while-still-being-a-gentleman.27439/

 

[razir110]

Thank you for the replies.

For context, I am in Mexico, so a culture where the guy is supposed to pay for everything. Like, pay for some drinks. whatever, but what I described is f abuse, seriously.

Now, the venue I go to it perfect, it's close to where I live, it doesn't have loud music and it has sofas where we can sit next to each other and get touchy.

Never in my life this has happened to me before! Like I am genuinely outraged here haha! In other countries if I invite for drinks after dinner then well, that's what it is just drinks. Period. Seriously, the entitlement of ordering food expecting the guy to pay for that shit, unbelievable!

@POB The plans described in the posts you mentioned are good, but hard to apply for me. I can't do stuff during the day, I work. During weekend we can do something more simple like a park, yes, but during the week the venue above is perfect. It's a goo first date. The second date is usually something more active and fun.

I guess the solution is to 1. try to find a similar cheaper place 2. schedule a bit later like 9pm. Maybe start by scheduling at 830 after dinner, so she accepts, it's not too late, and then move the date to 9pm AFTER FUCKING DINNER so she gets the message lol..

Next time I feel the date is shit and she comes up with the meal thing I will make her pay her part and leave, f off! I am so not into this shit..

 

[Atlas IV]

@StrayDog The one from yesterday is ... ...Russian..... I am not sure why I still waste time on these people seriously... Gold-digging is in their heart and soul I guess. But it also happened with Mexicans.

Not to pick on Russians, but... this often happens with Russian girls. If they go out with a foreign guy in a foreign country, they expect him to be forking over a lot of money to be with them. There might be exceptions, but I see it everywhere here in Asia. They're hot and they know it lol.

I never had too much of this issue with Mexican girls though. Generally they were very respectful and sometimes even offer to pay the bill. As you say, it's about screening properly. If she dresses super sexy, acts flirtatious and easily agrees to the date, I'd say pick somewhere low-key so that she gets the idea you're not a sugar daddy.

 

[Adventurer]

I also always pay for girls and sometimes it happens... But also sometimes the girl pays for you unprompted so it balances out

The worst case I had was going to a cocktail bar after a failed escalation attempt, as a "reset date" on the same night. I didn't get laid, but I got a fat 90€ cocktail bill because I messed up the conversion

Anyway, easy fix : meet in a cheap café/bar that doesn't serve food or anything more expensive than $5

 

[Skills]

So this has been happening lately,

I schedule a date for 2030 after dinner, I state this in the message "let's meet after dinner, around 2030"

She shows up and says she is hungry and orders a meal. I am not hungry bc I ate at home, it said "after dinner" on the invitation.

Then the bill arrives and, of course, in the name of female empowerment and independence, I have to pay the drinks and the fucking food I didn't even touch. And then, I might not even sleep with her. Happened yesterday, got a fucking kiss on the cheek and paid 50USD for food I didn't have.

So, how do you guys avoid this?

I seriously think of just saying the above to her like "girl this was a drinks invitation, so I cover the drinks you pay your food." I mean it's ridiculous I even have to think about this, shouldn't it be obvious for her that if she is the only one having food, she pays for her food?

This does set a shitty vibe however and if she is into me, she may change her mind, bla bla. So the best way to deal with this is to avoid it in first place.

Should I set the dates even later? Like 930? It's just that 930 is too late for many, so yeah... wtf do I do?

I feel like an idiot even having to post this, for real!

As a side-rant, when will women make a new trend of paying their own shit on dates, or even better, just pay the whole bill when the guy goes to the toilet? Wouldn't this show how they are independent and don't need men?

Anyways, some ideas would be welcome!

Cheers

I specifically talk about this here:

Date Plans - The complete guide on How to date - Dating dynamics 101

Why listen to me on this, well i was never good at dating, i would either do ons or long texting (second gen/grandmaster) setting up sexual encounters or i would replicate what happened in the club a second time by doing a club date (since I am the highest value guy in the dance floor made...

www.skilledseducer.com

 

[POB]

@POB The plans described in the posts you mentioned are good, but hard to apply for me. I can't do stuff during the day, I work. During weekend we can do something more simple like a park, yes, but during the week the venue above is perfect. It's a goo first date. The second date is usually something more active and fun..

Then delis are your best friend!
I'm pretty sure she won't have candies, coffee or chocolate cake for dinner.

 

[razir110]

So basically find a new venue, got it