Asking Age Before Showing Intent?

[Mikedee]

Sometimes, I hesitate to approach a girl if she looks under the legal age. Looks can be deceiving when it comes to age, so I’m wondering, would it be a good idea to start with “How old are you?” before expressing any intent when I’m unsure? In the past, I’ve approached girls who turned out to be much older than they looked, but as I’m getting older, I’m becoming more conscious of this.

 

[bkw]

Good question. I was about to tell you to go indirect and find a way to get her age from that, but I think that may be a little convoluted. Personally, I probably wouldn't approach if she legit looked underage. Plenty more fish in the sea. However, if for whatever reason you're hell-bent on it, then I guess you could go direct and then just be like, "I'm sorry, you look a little young to me. May I ask how old you are?" Or just be like, "How old are you?"

 

[AspiringStoic]

Open semi direct. Instead of you looked cute/pretty etc. go with:

I just noticed you because of your really cool sneakers/ your stylish hat and wanted to come say hi.

Then the next part is important. Make the first thing you talk about be this and get the age thing out of the way. Like this:

You: You look like you just started University.

Her: Nope, I am still in high school/ Nope, I am just 16-17.

You: Oh really? I must say you look a bit older. I had you pegged at around 20. Anyways, keep looking stylish. Have a good day.

And exit.

Important thing to remember is, to never act guilty or ashamed that you spoke to her. You are just a social guy who would talk to anyone and spread good vibes and mean no harm to anyone(This is not just a mindset, you really should be this guy).

I have ended up opening some girls who were even 15-16 by accident because they looked older and were really tall. This has happened multiple times with girls who were athletes. I have always used this same manner of handling stuff and nobody has been pissed off about it. They all have a smile on their face as I exit the conversation. Sometimes I have even continued and just had a nice friendly conversation with them about some neutral topics without hitting on them once I know their age.

If you act weird and excessively apologetic, they will presume you were trying to do something fishy and are more likely to be offended.

 

[Chad Tyrone]

Sometimes, I hesitate to approach a girl if she looks under the legal age. Looks can be deceiving when it comes to age, so I’m wondering, would it be a good idea to start with “How old are you?” before expressing any intent when I’m unsure? In the past, I’ve approached girls who turned out to be much older than they looked, but as I’m getting older, I’m becoming more conscious of this.

Any Hesitance to Approach (that Isn't Strategic) Is Approach Anxiety

If you pause to approach from fear of what people may think (“She’s too young for him!” “They’re different races!” “He’s too short!”) it’s approach anxiety. On my article about what to do when girls you approach say you’re too old, TheDude comments: Hi Chase, your blog will never cease to amaze...

www.girlschase.com

 

[isildur1]

If I’m worried about them being under 18 I just ask them the question “I assume you go to university yeah? If they say they’re in high school I just abort the set right then and there - I never date sub 20 as for me it’s just not right personally

I know coaches like James Marshall have dated 17 year olds before but that’s one step too much for me and I don’t feel comfortable with that

 

[iceberg slim]

Open semi direct. Instead of you looked cute/pretty etc. go with:

I just noticed you because of your really cool sneakers/ your stylish hat and wanted to come say hi.

Then the next part is important. Make the first thing you talk about be this and get the age thing out of the way. Like this:

You: You look like you just started University.

Her: Nope, I am still in high school/ Nope, I am just 16-17.

You: Oh really? I must say you look a bit older. I had you pegged at around 20. Anyways, keep looking stylish. Have a good day.

And exit.

Important thing to remember is, to never act guilty or ashamed that you spoke to her. You are just a social guy who would talk to anyone and spread good vibes and mean no harm to anyone(This is not just a mindset, you really should be this guy).

I have ended up opening some girls who were even 15-16 by accident because they looked older and were really tall. This has happened multiple times with girls who were athletes. I have always used this same manner of handling stuff and nobody has been pissed off about it. They all have a smile on their face as I exit the conversation. Sometimes I have even continued and just had a nice friendly conversation with them about some neutral topics without hitting on them once I know their age.

If you act weird and excessively apologetic, they will presume you were trying to do something fishy and are more likely to be offended.

That is great advice.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

I have approached girls directly that especially up close feel quite young. I don't think that there is anything wrong with it in principle, so even if they are 16, 15 or whatever showing that you appreciate their feminine nature as a first impression is not something I would be ashamed of.

Of course then you can bring up their age in any way as mentioned in the other posts, and back off when it is not legal. My main point though is not feeling bad at all for being physically attracted to a well developed teenager, and thinking that you need to go indirect for any reason that is not strategic.

 

[OldGuy]

For older guys, you need to make sure she is an adult. I heard of one case where the guy (not me) was charged with "corrupting a minor for sex with a 17 year old women. (consent=16+, adult=18+ in that state)