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Asking Age Before Showing Intent?

Mikedee

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jan 27, 2025
Messages
109
Sometimes, I hesitate to approach a girl if she looks under the legal age. Looks can be deceiving when it comes to age, so I’m wondering, would it be a good idea to start with “How old are you?” before expressing any intent when I’m unsure? In the past, I’ve approached girls who turned out to be much older than they looked, but as I’m getting older, I’m becoming more conscious of this.
 

bkw

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Feb 14, 2025
Messages
63
Good question. I was about to tell you to go indirect and find a way to get her age from that, but I think that may be a little convoluted. Personally, I probably wouldn't approach if she legit looked underage. Plenty more fish in the sea. However, if for whatever reason you're hell-bent on it, then I guess you could go direct and then just be like, "I'm sorry, you look a little young to me. May I ask how old you are?" Or just be like, "How old are you?"
 
a good date brings a smile to your lips... and hers

AspiringStoic

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Oct 21, 2023
Messages
364
Open semi direct. Instead of you looked cute/pretty etc. go with:

I just noticed you because of your really cool sneakers/ your stylish hat and wanted to come say hi.

Then the next part is important. Make the first thing you talk about be this and get the age thing out of the way. Like this:

You: You look like you just started University.

Her: Nope, I am still in high school/ Nope, I am just 16-17.

You: Oh really? I must say you look a bit older. I had you pegged at around 20. Anyways, keep looking stylish. Have a good day.

And exit.

Important thing to remember is, to never act guilty or ashamed that you spoke to her. You are just a social guy who would talk to anyone and spread good vibes and mean no harm to anyone(This is not just a mindset, you really should be this guy).

I have ended up opening some girls who were even 15-16 by accident because they looked older and were really tall. This has happened multiple times with girls who were athletes. I have always used this same manner of handling stuff and nobody has been pissed off about it. They all have a smile on their face as I exit the conversation. Sometimes I have even continued and just had a nice friendly conversation with them about some neutral topics without hitting on them once I know their age.

If you act weird and excessively apologetic, they will presume you were trying to do something fishy and are more likely to be offended.
 

Chad Tyrone

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jun 21, 2021
Messages
289
Sometimes, I hesitate to approach a girl if she looks under the legal age. Looks can be deceiving when it comes to age, so I’m wondering, would it be a good idea to start with “How old are you?” before expressing any intent when I’m unsure? In the past, I’ve approached girls who turned out to be much older than they looked, but as I’m getting older, I’m becoming more conscious of this.
 

isildur1

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jun 13, 2024
Messages
218
If I’m worried about them being under 18 I just ask them the question “I assume you go to university yeah? If they say they’re in high school I just abort the set right then and there - I never date sub 20 as for me it’s just not right personally

I know coaches like James Marshall have dated 17 year olds before but that’s one step too much for me and I don’t feel comfortable with that
 

iceberg slim

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Feb 18, 2024
Messages
78
Open semi direct. Instead of you looked cute/pretty etc. go with:

I just noticed you because of your really cool sneakers/ your stylish hat and wanted to come say hi.

Then the next part is important. Make the first thing you talk about be this and get the age thing out of the way. Like this:

You: You look like you just started University.

Her: Nope, I am still in high school/ Nope, I am just 16-17.

You: Oh really? I must say you look a bit older. I had you pegged at around 20. Anyways, keep looking stylish. Have a good day.

And exit.

Important thing to remember is, to never act guilty or ashamed that you spoke to her. You are just a social guy who would talk to anyone and spread good vibes and mean no harm to anyone(This is not just a mindset, you really should be this guy).

I have ended up opening some girls who were even 15-16 by accident because they looked older and were really tall. This has happened multiple times with girls who were athletes. I have always used this same manner of handling stuff and nobody has been pissed off about it. They all have a smile on their face as I exit the conversation. Sometimes I have even continued and just had a nice friendly conversation with them about some neutral topics without hitting on them once I know their age.

If you act weird and excessively apologetic, they will presume you were trying to do something fishy and are more likely to be offended.
That is great advice.
 

ChrisXKiss

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jul 31, 2023
Messages
393
I have approached girls directly that especially up close feel quite young. I don't think that there is anything wrong with it in principle, so even if they are 16, 15 or whatever showing that you appreciate their feminine nature as a first impression is not something I would be ashamed of.

Of course then you can bring up their age in any way as mentioned in the other posts, and back off when it is not legal. My main point though is not feeling bad at all for being physically attracted to a well developed teenager, and thinking that you need to go indirect for any reason that is not strategic.
 

OldGuy

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jun 10, 2017
Messages
167
For older guys, you need to make sure she is an adult. I heard of one case where the guy (not me) was charged with "corrupting a minor for sex with a 17 year old women. (consent=16+, adult=18+ in that state)
 
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