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Calls & Texts  asking for her schedule

candyman

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Dec 14, 2012
Messages
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What if you ask for her schedule to meet for a drink, but she said that she is busy for the next two weeks. Is that a blow off?

Me. Hey Tess! Hope you had a great weekend =) What's your schedule like this week? we should grab a bite or a drink.

Her. Yeah it was nice going home.how about you.im pretty busy until the new year.im on call this weekend then head home for chrissy then on call new year.sorry


any thoughts?
 

Just_Dave

Tribal Elder
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Nov 21, 2012
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528
Hey Candyman,

I wouldn't take it as a general blowoff because she could genuinely be very busy because of the holidays, family, and friends. I wouldn't text her back until after the holidays, unless you want to do a "That's cool, happy holidays :)" and leave it like that.

Remember don't chase her through her schedule
*Text her once after the holidays and if she's still "busy" let her go
*Keep looking at other prospects and girls that have time
*Many times I haven't gotten anywhere with multitudes of numbers I've had before. This is why you delete old numbers and move on

On another note:
"We all make time for what we want." Lyfe Jennings -Busy (Youtube it!!!)


Stay sharp,

Just Dave
 
the right date makes getting her back home a piece of cake

candyman

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Dec 14, 2012
Messages
11
ok so I sent her another text,

Me: Hey Tess, hope you had a good chrissy. Mine was solid, and restful. When's good for you to grab that drink this week? Let me know when your schedules clear and let's set it up.

Her: Hey mate, chrissy was great, i didnt have to work which was a plus. work has been hectic. last night was the first night ive had a propper night sleep. do you mind if we wait till work settles down a bit because im really tired & busy at the moment. good to hear you had a nice one.




She seems pretty genuine and quite long in her replies so I think I will pursue her till I get her out. Normally I wouldn't bother but it wouldn't hurt.

In the meantime I will go out and also pursue other girls. Im pretty sure I gave an amazing first impression because it felt solid and we had a good vibe when I first met her. It was a daygame department store approach. Anyway I will try again perhaps when the holiday season dies down a bit here.
 

A Life Loquacious

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Dec 7, 2012
Messages
102
Hmm, "hey mate" - is she English? I normally find if a girl starts calling you 'mate', it's a verbal friendzoning. Otherwise she'd be using 'babe', 'honey'... other words that don't mean 'friend' basically.
 

candyman

Space Monkey
space monkey
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Dec 14, 2012
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11
Actually Australian. In Australia the term "mate" actually means more than just a friend. It implies shared experience, mutual respect and unconditional assistance.
 

Just_Dave

Tribal Elder
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Nov 21, 2012
Messages
528
candyman said:
Actually Australian. In Australia the term "mate" actually means more than just a friend. It implies shared experience, mutual respect and unconditional assistance.

I've actually lived in Sydney for two weeks when I was 16, anyway follow your approach if she doesn't answer that time then yes move on. Thanks for posting an update.

Just Dave
 

A Life Loquacious

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Messages
102
Yeah, we tend to use it pretty casually here, between men it's pretty much interchangeable with 'friend' and if anything 'being mates' with someone isn't as strong as 'being friends'. It's actually quite unusual to hear women say it directly to a man, and if they do it's generally intended to set platonic boundaries. I've hear the Aussies look upon the idea of 'mates' as being like a brotherhood that surpasses mere friendship! Funny how shades of meaning change so much in different flavours of English!
 

candyman

Space Monkey
space monkey
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Dec 14, 2012
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11
Yes, in Australia the word 'mate' can even be used to refer to a husband or a wife.
 

Chase

Chieftan
Staff member
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6,057
Candyman,

candyman said:
ok so I sent her another text,

Me: Hey Tess, hope you had a good chrissy. Mine was solid, and restful. When's good for you to grab that drink this week? Let me know when your schedules clear and let's set it up.

Her: Hey mate, chrissy was great, i didnt have to work which was a plus. work has been hectic. last night was the first night ive had a propper night sleep. do you mind if we wait till work settles down a bit because im really tired & busy at the moment. good to hear you had a nice one.




She seems pretty genuine and quite long in her replies so I think I will pursue her till I get her out. Normally I wouldn't bother but it wouldn't hurt.

This is platonic. "Do you mind" "work settles down a bit" "I'm really tired & busy"... all excuses begging off from seeing you.

What you want is women tossing their obligations aside to see you. If she's so busy that she can't grab a drink to see you, either she's an investment banker who moonlights as a TV news reporter and she's taken a temporary vow of celibacy until she reaches her first million, or she isn't interested.

Which is not to say there's anything wrong with you; everybody gets brush offs. Part and parcel with the whole dating game. Some women say "yes," others beg off. No worries, just onto the next one.

Throw things back onto this girl, "Okay, well since you're the busy one, get in touch with me when your schedule clears up and let's do this," and then forget about her until / unless she ever contacts you (which typically won't happen when a girl's trying to dodge seeing you this much and repeatedly, but if she becomes single later she might [sometimes these girls have boyfriends and simply don't tell you, because telling you loses you as a backup as you go off in search of another girl to date instead]).

Chase
 

candyman

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Dec 14, 2012
Messages
11
Alright I sent that text you prescribed. I guess it is just a "wait and see" game with this particular girl. It can be hard sometimes to accept being blown - off, I suppose it is just a part of the game like you said.
 

candyman

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Dec 14, 2012
Messages
11
So... I sent the text

I get a reply an hour later

Her. Yeah mate, im a bit busy with fires at the moment, then im on call the weekend after, going away aust day, then working again. when i get some spare time ill let you know.

she is a Veterinarian. She could be doing some work for the bush fire relief (Animals), Australia day is the 26th of January then she's working again. She said she would let me know when she has some spare time so I guess I'll have to just wait and see.

Perhaps next time I should give her a phone call and get her talking live on the phone, that might work better.
 

diegoC

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Jan 23, 2013
Messages
173
Stop calling and texting. You are starting to be obsessed (or has actually are). Meet new woman. Ones that you like (meaning physically) as much as her so you start giving a s*** about her.

Cheers!
 

candyman

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Dec 14, 2012
Messages
11
Ok guys well I have an update for you.

I got a message from her this afternoon ...

Tess - "So, want to grab that drink this week?"

I messaged her back asking if she was available on the weekend, she said she was working and asked if we could do a week night instead.
She suggested we do Tuesday night. I sent her a text back saying sure meet me at 8PM at Xyz and we will go from there. She texted back saying sure, see you then.
 

candyman

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Dec 14, 2012
Messages
11
Went and had the drink, there just wasnt any spark there. To be honest she wasnt really what I was expecting. I guess you cant get every girl :)
 
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