Auto-reject in the gym

[Skjöldr]

So i frequent the gym ALOT (4-6 times a week), so it is safe to say i spend 10-15 hours there a week. This means it's a golden opportunity to run some day game on hot girls!

I read some earlier post on here about gym game and one guy shared his routine:

A lot of my day game during the week has been in the gym. My typical approach.
-Make sure she has looked at me first (typically I do this unless she's about to leave)
-Do your normal exercise
-When you're both resting after a couple sets or if one of you are about to leave I say: "Hey, I noticed you over here and thought you were cute. I'm Ryan." ....she responds with her name... "So ____, I've got to ask, are you single?" - if she is I get the number and go from there.

So here's what happened:
We are both resting between sets. I start walking towards her while looking her in the eyes. We both catch eye contact.

Me: "hey, i saw you working out over here, and i just wanted to say that i think you look super cute"
Her: smile a bit shocked and say "thanks"
Me: "Are you single?"
Her: "I am but im not interested" Auto-reject

And then i just smiled and said "Okay, have a nice workout" and we both went back doing our thing.

I'm not even bad looking at all. I'm a regular and before walking up to her i benched 120 kg x 2. I think im pretty good looking, 6'1 tall and i just wore a t-shirt and shorts. Nothing fancy.

My question is: What caused her to auto-reject me? Did i come on too strong? Was it because i forgot to introduce myself after calling her cute (i realized now i forgot it in the situation) or something else?

What could i do better next time? Didn't count her for much and it seems nobody around us cared, it was more for practice and to prevent oneitis.

Cheers
Peter

 

[POB]

Gaming in the gym is a tough one, no matter what.
Its a heavily social environment where everybody is looking at what's going on, even when you are super discreet and not paying attention.

Your approach there needs to be more low-key and social. The goal is to make her agree to meet you casually AWAY from the gym, where the two of you could be alone. Then you run game.

Look at this thread...it's from 2017/18 but it has really useful info!

Hope it helps.

 

[DarkKnight]

Way too few information man. Did you receive any approach invitations? Was she hot for you, or was she just looking because she noticed you walking up to her. Also your opener was super direct, ofcourse it can startle her because most guys in the gym are too scared to even open a girl ha ha.

I just read the post of POB, and I agree with everything what he says. Except that other people rarely meddle with you when you actually open a girl. Sure they stare from a distance, but rarely they butt in. I had that happen only once by a beefy guy, but he was easily discouraged and actually helped me to DHV. Haha. There is always the incidental hovering weird guy though. That happens , but you just have to ignore those.

In the gym I like to ping a girl for how receptive she is before I go direct. It's an easy place to get her to move and get some compliance as well (hey let's do some lunges together blabla). Makes you non strangers and helps you move away from crowded places. From there on you have to escalate in order to get away from the gym just like POB mentions.

ALSO: I don't know if it is correct to call it autorejection here. Autorejection is when you have attainability problems of some sort. Girls are not impressed by how much you can benchpress, the problem might be value. Sexy vibe and such. Review your fundamentals.

Another Also: I notice that a lot of guys when they enter in the gym go into scavenger mode. Moving and pinging like a predator in order to hunt for a girl. This comes across as super needy and girls are attuned to this. Best is to draw them into your world by being casual and pre-opening for instance.

 

[flatron]

I think im pretty good looking, 6'1 tall and i just wore a t-shirt and shorts. Nothing fancy.
My question is: What caused her to auto-reject me? Did i come on too strong? Was it because i forgot to introduce myself after calling her cute (i realized now i forgot it in the situation) or something else?

I wouldn't over-think it. Even if you are conventionally fairly good looking, it doesn't mean that she thinks you're good looking. Different girls have different types/tastes.
I realised this the first time I banged a legit hottie (after being rejected by whales all night)
This girl just thought I was handsome and thus made it super easy for me.
Maybe the girl who rejected you has a different idea of what good looking is (I used to work in an office with lots of pretty girls who spent all day looking at handsome guys on instagram and DM'ing them and there was always one hot girl who would pick out a guy that she liked online, and all of the other girls were like ''him?!! Are you kidding?!!! He's ugly lol'' kind of thing)

Sounds like you took your shot and she wasn't into it. Next

 

[Skjöldr]

Gaming in the gym is a tough one, no matter what.
Its a heavily social environment where everybody is looking at what's going on, even when you are super discreet and not paying attention.

Your approach there needs to be more low-key and social. The goal is to make her agree to meet you casually AWAY from the gym, where the two of you could be alone. Then you run game.

Look at this thread...it's from 2017/18 but it has really useful info!

Hope it helps.

Will check the article out! Thank you

 

[Skjöldr]

Way too few information man. Did you receive any approach invitations? Was she hot for you, or was she just looking because she noticed you walking up to her. Also your opener was super direct, ofcourse it can startle her because most guys in the gym are too scared to even open a girl ha ha.

I just read the post of POB, and I agree with everything what he says. Except that other people rarely meddle with you when you actually open a girl. Sure they stare from a distance, but rarely they butt in. I had that happen only once by a beefy guy, but he was easily discouraged and actually helped me to DHV. Haha. There is always the incidental hovering weird guy though. That happens , but you just have to ignore those.

In the gym I like to ping a girl for how receptive she is before I go direct. It's an easy place to get her to move and get some compliance as well (hey let's do some lunges together blabla). Makes you non strangers and helps you move away from crowded places. From there on you have to escalate in order to get away from the gym just like POB mentions.

ALSO: I don't know if it is correct to call it autorejection here. Autorejection is when you have attainability problems of some sort. Girls are not impressed by how much you can benchpress, the problem might be value. Sexy vibe and such. Review your fundamentals.

Another Also: I notice that a lot of guys when they enter in the gym go into scavenger mode. Moving and pinging like a predator in order to hunt for a girl. This comes across as super needy and girls are attuned to this. Best is to draw them into your world by being casual and pre-opening for instance.

Thank you for the advice. I did not receive any approach invitations, she was a 7.5-8/10 and she only looked at me when i were at her station.

Yeah i know girls don't care about that, it was just to say that i wasnt just some random dork in there, im one of the tops in terms of weight i pull in there. A buff guy can be a chicken and women will dislike him or a normal guy can be extremely confident and girls will like him.

What do you mean by pinging her? How would one do that?

 

[Skjöldr]

I wouldn't over-think it. Even if you are conventionally fairly good looking, it doesn't mean that she thinks you're good looking. Different girls have different types/tastes.
I realised this the first time I banged a legit hottie (after being rejected by whales all night)
This girl just thought I was handsome and thus made it super easy for me.
Maybe the girl who rejected you has a different idea of what good looking is (I used to work in an office with lots of pretty girls who spent all day looking at handsome guys on instagram and DM'ing them and there was always one hot girl who would pick out a guy that she liked online, and all of the other girls were like ''him?!! Are you kidding?!!! He's ugly lol'' kind of thing)

Sounds like you took your shot and she wasn't into it. Next

True, though if you already consider yourself good looking you are miles ahead already with your confidence, which in terms mean you will have a better chance with a girl, even though she prefers a different hair colour, hair style, whatever. This was just practice, i didnt look at her a single time after i got rejected. Didnt really care about her.

 

[DarkKnight]

With pinging I meant that I test the waters. First I open indirectly, afterwards a joke or small chat. After or during chat compliance. To see how hot she for me is. I would not go super direct like you did. It takes balls but you lose lots of girls because of beforementioned variables.

Also watch out for attention whores who are abundand in the gym. They wear the flashiest clothes and keep making instagram pictures. Those can be true validation junkies. How to filter? -> compliance.

 

[Glow]

Wrote this fyi https://www.skilledseducer.com/threads/a-lister-gym-seduction-model.21765/#post-106230

 

[Skjöldr]

DarkKnight:
Okay, i will think about that, thank you. Is there any situation where direct approaches work better than indirect ones?

 

[Skjöldr]

Wrote this fyi https://www.skilledseducer.com/threads/a-lister-gym-seduction-model.21765/#post-106230

I will check it out, thank you

 

[POB]

I just read the post of POB, and I agree with everything what he says. Except that other people rarely meddle with you when you actually open a girl. Sure they stare from a distance, but rarely they butt in.

Yes, people won't meddle in your businesses for sure! My point is every chick that enters the gym has a reputation to preserve. After all it's a social environment, where 100% social conduct is expected. If you go super direct - even if she was checking on you for a while - you are going to create the following situation:
- her interest in you
versus
- her own reputation.

Reputation wins!

 

[DarkKnight]

POB, I am not denying what you are saying. Definitely makes sense. However I am suspecting that our gyms have different cultures. Multiple variables can influence such things such as:

*Degree of anonymosity. When girls train individually without really meddling with anyone they wont care too much about social control.
* Bigger gyms vs smaller gyms. Also increases anonymosity. More covert corners and space. Also more people vs less people.
* The girl in question does she already have strong social ties?
*Country which the gym is based in. Big difference between UK and Saudi Arabia.

Now until now I have only been rejected once by a girl because of social control and that was a girl from the staff, who actually approached me, but I went quite direct and since there were people around she was forced to tell me that she had a boyfriend. Who was also in the staff by the way. I should have been less manly there, that was a poor move. But I had to make a judgement call because two jealous guys were about to cockblock. They were these virginal dudes who had zero succes, one of them very competitive but always getting humiliated. Those two really had a score to settle haha. These days the girl and boy are broken up and she is pissed at me, because of autorejection I assume. Ah well. Maybe one day I will tap that ass.

Otherwise girls have been quite OVERT towards me. Those have been easy pickings unless I missed an escalation window! I do run into attainability issues though, the first time girls can act a little too aloof, almost convincing me that they dislike me, until they start to figure that I really was interested and not playing. Girls tend to get a little intimidated...

 

[Cody Lyans]

It's just the level of charm. Think of discussion like toast, no one just eats it plain, you have to at least butter it up.

In the initial guys advice he is smiling with his eyes and projecting a lot of confidence and genuine curiosity in order to create a buzz in her

This might seem a small detail but it makes a huge difference

Dw I get auto rejected at times too. I just don't take it personally I just find it to be a quirk of how things work. Many girls are insecure and need to be babied through the first interaction to get away from their baggage. It's cuz other guys have set up bad examples before you, just breathe, brush it off and try it in another location, then when comfy do it again in the gym

 

[DarkKnight]

Cody, you meant "DK"? I am not sure if you wrote the second part of your comment for me. My state control is quite good actually I rarely get flustered. However I must admit it's a sad thing when losing a girl to autorejection. Sometimes after a month or so suddenly they get confident and start flirting. That happens too. Best not to take it personal indeed . Also important nuance about the fact that other guys can give a girl negative expectations.

 

[OldGuy]

IMO, you failed to build comfort and jumped to "Are you single?" too fast. You should have talked to her longer. (In my opinion, it is a mistake to bring up questions about boyfriends or single status, if it is a problem she will eventually tell you.)