Autorejection by being too sexually aggressive?

[AfterMath]

I don't even know how to describe this phenomenon, but it's something i just experienced. I slept with this girl twice in a span of a week, seemed like she was really into me, a few weeks pass that we don't really meet up personally and now she's been acting weird towards me. I finally get her to tell me what's up and she says she doesn't feel the same way she did a while ago and that she can't explain why. Then mentions that she feels like a slut when she's with me because of the things I say and do. I really didn't understand. I talked a litle dirty while sleeping with her and maybe was a little more agressive than she's used to (I'm only her second) and sent a few dirty text messages, but nothing too out of the ordinary.
But apparently she lost her attraction towards me because I was too agressive sexually, what's the deal with this?

 

[Ross]

I talked a litle dirty while sleeping with her

What exactly were you saying? Things that carry huge social stigmas with a negative connotation can make someone feel insecure about themselves, while others may enjoy it.

You've also got to consider how she reacts to you when you talk like this. If she is getting a little bit more conserved about things or not positively reinforcing that she wants that, it could very well be a problem. But this may not be the major underlying problem to why she feels too "dirty."

I slept with this girl twice in a span of a week, seemed like she was really into me, a few weeks pass that we don't really meet up personally and now she's been acting weird towards me.

Did you sleep with her twice and haven't slept with her in those past few weeks, or have you been sleeping with her and just not doing anything outside the home? Buyer's remorse is very real if you sleep with her in a short span of time and then suddenly don't have time for her, especially if she is relatively new to this whole thing.

In closing notes, it's probably better to slowly bring such things upon her (when doing things that are considered to be kinky or taboo) and to talk to her afterwards. Whenever they are newer to sex you've got to be especially careful about things that carry a negative social stigma, as this is going to directly clash with the things that she has believed over her entire life. I personally like to allow them to open up after sex if they have previously been sexually repressed, as it's something that I experienced and it's a great point to relate on. In this situation you should probably ask her specific questions, as she isn't revealing much to the open kind. Ask her if it was you talking dirty, and most likely she will be able to talk about the situation with you if you just let her talk about it and create an understanding.

 

[AfterMath]

I said some things that she might not have been used to and now looking back it might not have been the best idea. She seemed like a sexually repressed person but that has a dirty side that wanted to come out, I just wanted to free her sexuality a bit more. I might have gone a bit too much too fast at the time.

And yes, we went out and did other things, but we met mostly at home, so yeah, it might have been another factor as to why she was feeling so dirty. We got really close to each other in that time span and I actually wanted a LTR with her, but she ended up going out of town for a few weeks which is when we mostly texted or talked on the phone, then suddenly when she came back, she started acting weird towards me.
Maybe the time she was alone made her reflect on everything that was happening and she decided that I gave her these negative feelings of being slutty and it killed her attraction of me.

When I asked her straight up what was happening she said she didn't know what was up, but that she wasn't feeling what she felt a few weeks ago. Then after talking a bit more, she said that I made her feel like a slut. I told her that it wasn't my intention and that if I somehow made her feel like that, that I was sorry and that I wouldn't do it again, but apparently she doesn't want anything more to do with me. I asked her if she still felt something towards me, and she said she used to, but now, she doesn't know anymore. This conversation was all over text, nothing in person, by the way. I then wished her luck and said we should part ways and she did nothing to stop me, so it's over now, I just want to know exatly what I did wrong....

Part of me thinks there's some other story in there, and that this might have been just a small factor and she used it as an excuse to break it off, but I don't know yet.

 

[Ross]

Maybe the time she was alone made her reflect on everything that was happening and she decided that I gave her these negative feelings of being slutty and it killed her attraction of me.

Ah, I see. This is probably what happened. I feel like she maybe needed to talk about it but didn't know exactly how to go about doing that, so instead she sat around thinking about things by herself, and we all know how damaging that can be.

I then wished her luck and said we should part ways and she did nothing to stop me, so it's over now, I just want to know exatly what I did wrong....

I really feel like she still has feelings for you. An inexperienced girl simply parting ways with a guy without any hang-ups after they had something that she probably considers special does not sound right. I would probably arrange a meet-up so that she can really talk to you about whatever it is she needs to talk about, and so you end on a good note where she isn't going to be feeling a lot of emotional damage.

 

[AfterMath]

I really feel like she still has feelings for you. An inexperienced girl simply parting ways with a guy without any hang-ups after they had something that she probably considers special does not sound right. I would probably arrange a meet-up so that she can really talk to you about whatever it is she needs to talk about, and so you end on a good note where she isn't going to be feeling a lot of emotional damage.

I sent her an apology over facebook and she replied well saying that it's okay and that it would pass over time. But I feel as if she's genuinely angry with me and now that I apologized, she might even feel like she's a bit superior. Right now she probably doesn't want to see me in person, but at least I didn't burn the bridge completely. I think that if I wait it out a few months and try to reconnect she might me receptive, and this time I'll look at it from another perspective.

 

[Ross]

I really feel like she still has feelings for you. An inexperienced girl simply parting ways with a guy without any hang-ups after they had something that she probably considers special does not sound right. I would probably arrange a meet-up so that she can really talk to you about whatever it is she needs to talk about, and so you end on a good note where she isn't going to be feeling a lot of emotional damage.

I sent her an apology over facebook and she replied well saying that it's okay and that it would pass over time. But I feel as if she's genuinely angry with me and now that I apologized, she might even feel like she's a bit superior. Right now she probably doesn't want to see me in person, but at least I didn't burn the bridge completely. I think that if I wait it out a few months and try to reconnect she might me receptive, and this time I'll look at it from another perspective.

I personally don't like ending things over anything but in person. Seems way too impersonal and just doesn't feel right. But you'll do what you need to do.