- Joined
- Dec 20, 2012
- Messages
- 173
Hi,
I have most of my fundamentals down, although still improving. However, still find escalating hard - I'm countering my thoughts by knowing If it doesn't happen now its never going to happen mentality. Thanks chase for that one.
Anyhow, rather long but ill try and keep it to the main points. I'm attracted to a girl at work, moving pretty fast, can see she likes me (she gives strong eye contact, opens me with random touches sometimes, etc.) and did my best at deep diving. I learnt a lot and just kept raising her up, revealing little about myself and at a high point asked her what her schedule was like. She followed with intense eye staring/smiling and asked why? After a while I told her why and she said maybe, because she had plans with friends. Next time I saw her I was nice, however avoided too much flirting/contact. A week later (i fear the attraction window might of being closed, however I feel like I have a chance still) we saw each other again. She was same flirty and I tried to up the sexual frame, which worked well I think. I then asked her to sit, so we could talk. As this was happening someone yelled that they needed her to work a little while longer. We never got to sit and talk. Towards the end of her shift I called her alone, grabbed her hand, smiled and looked into her eyes asking why she won't find time to chill. Five minutes later she invites me to meet her grandparents who came into the store. I guess that's a good thing. Obviously as a learner my frames aren't top notch, and as an older girl who has a lot more experience over me in social aspects. I'm going to have to step my game up.
Now, how do I get that girl to give me some time, because I can see her being attracted without making excuses?
I'm not chasing, I feel but rather being persistent. How should I ask her to a drink when I see her next while letting her know I'm not mucking around and won't chase her and will walk if I have to.
Edit: just found this in a thread where Chase responded to a similar question.
"The reason she's apologizing / taking care of your emotions here is you asked her when she's free before asking her out, which comes across tentative and as if you want to corner her into being free before telling her what you want her to do with her free time. Next time, you'll want to get her to agree to go out before asking her schedule, so she knows why you're asking, e.g.:
You: Let's get drinks sometime soon, when are you off this week?
Her: Sunday, but I'm going home Sunday morning.
You: Ah, that's too bad. We'll just have to connect when you get back, then."
Perhaps I could mould that to my liking?
I have most of my fundamentals down, although still improving. However, still find escalating hard - I'm countering my thoughts by knowing If it doesn't happen now its never going to happen mentality. Thanks chase for that one.
Anyhow, rather long but ill try and keep it to the main points. I'm attracted to a girl at work, moving pretty fast, can see she likes me (she gives strong eye contact, opens me with random touches sometimes, etc.) and did my best at deep diving. I learnt a lot and just kept raising her up, revealing little about myself and at a high point asked her what her schedule was like. She followed with intense eye staring/smiling and asked why? After a while I told her why and she said maybe, because she had plans with friends. Next time I saw her I was nice, however avoided too much flirting/contact. A week later (i fear the attraction window might of being closed, however I feel like I have a chance still) we saw each other again. She was same flirty and I tried to up the sexual frame, which worked well I think. I then asked her to sit, so we could talk. As this was happening someone yelled that they needed her to work a little while longer. We never got to sit and talk. Towards the end of her shift I called her alone, grabbed her hand, smiled and looked into her eyes asking why she won't find time to chill. Five minutes later she invites me to meet her grandparents who came into the store. I guess that's a good thing. Obviously as a learner my frames aren't top notch, and as an older girl who has a lot more experience over me in social aspects. I'm going to have to step my game up.
Now, how do I get that girl to give me some time, because I can see her being attracted without making excuses?
I'm not chasing, I feel but rather being persistent. How should I ask her to a drink when I see her next while letting her know I'm not mucking around and won't chase her and will walk if I have to.
Edit: just found this in a thread where Chase responded to a similar question.
"The reason she's apologizing / taking care of your emotions here is you asked her when she's free before asking her out, which comes across tentative and as if you want to corner her into being free before telling her what you want her to do with her free time. Next time, you'll want to get her to agree to go out before asking her schedule, so she knows why you're asking, e.g.:
You: Let's get drinks sometime soon, when are you off this week?
Her: Sunday, but I'm going home Sunday morning.
You: Ah, that's too bad. We'll just have to connect when you get back, then."
Perhaps I could mould that to my liking?
