Hello all, I'm a college student studying computer engineering and I'm still novice to how to be successful with women and really social IQ in general (EQ).
This might sound a little cringy, even to myself as I write this, but it explains the bulk of my problem from my perspective.
Ever since I was a kid I would typically get into a cycle of rejection that has definitely been unhealthy. The steps basically went like this:
1) Happen upon a girl, in my class, through a social event or activity, and admire her from afar.
2) Think about the best way to approach her, all the while still building up in my head this idealized version of her more or less on how she looks (still with me?)
3) Eventually talk to her, maybe once or twice, get contact info, try to stay consistent (typically with the three-day rule) and usually get to know her. Basic questions, stuff like that.
4) Ask her out (eventually I learned what that entailed in middle school) and get rejected.
5) Stay in a state of licking my wounds, sometimes up to a year or two (the one in high school and most recently in college have been rather extensive, a lot of energy wasted).
6) Rinse and repeat.
So as a twenty year-old college student, I'd like to really break this cycle and see some results. But my real question is, how do I get over the fact that getting rejected by a girl I am really interested in feels like I'm never going to get a shot at someone as good as this? I've basically wasted high school with no results thinking that way over one girl, it was really hard to even talk to other girls for a while.
With that, my question is more along the lines of the ideas of "leagues", since throughout high school and a seemingly recurring trend in college is that the more popular, more attractive girls/women still seem to hang out with the athletes, in the higher echelons of society and how can an average guy like me become successful with those kinds of girls? Is it fate? Thank you in advance.
This might sound a little cringy, even to myself as I write this, but it explains the bulk of my problem from my perspective.
Ever since I was a kid I would typically get into a cycle of rejection that has definitely been unhealthy. The steps basically went like this:
1) Happen upon a girl, in my class, through a social event or activity, and admire her from afar.
2) Think about the best way to approach her, all the while still building up in my head this idealized version of her more or less on how she looks (still with me?)
3) Eventually talk to her, maybe once or twice, get contact info, try to stay consistent (typically with the three-day rule) and usually get to know her. Basic questions, stuff like that.
4) Ask her out (eventually I learned what that entailed in middle school) and get rejected.
5) Stay in a state of licking my wounds, sometimes up to a year or two (the one in high school and most recently in college have been rather extensive, a lot of energy wasted).
6) Rinse and repeat.
So as a twenty year-old college student, I'd like to really break this cycle and see some results. But my real question is, how do I get over the fact that getting rejected by a girl I am really interested in feels like I'm never going to get a shot at someone as good as this? I've basically wasted high school with no results thinking that way over one girl, it was really hard to even talk to other girls for a while.
With that, my question is more along the lines of the ideas of "leagues", since throughout high school and a seemingly recurring trend in college is that the more popular, more attractive girls/women still seem to hang out with the athletes, in the higher echelons of society and how can an average guy like me become successful with those kinds of girls? Is it fate? Thank you in advance.
